Chapter 10
Royce
“I’m pregnant.” She throws her hands over her mouth, as if not believing the words came out.
My jaw unhinges, and I try to say something, but my throat is knotted, so nothing comes out. There’s no hiding the tears that fall down her cheeks now, and as much as I know I need to be comforting her, I can’t force myself to move.
Paisley. Pregnant. With my baby.
Her belly’s gonna grow with our child inside of it.
She suddenly covers her mouth and then fumbles with her purse before she drops it and runs to the bathroom. I hear her retching and immediately go to her. “Go away.” She tries to shoo me away, but I ignore her and grab her hair to hold it out of her face. “I’m fine.”
“Let me help you.”
She reaches up and flushes the toilet. “Sorry.”
I ignore the apology and extend my arm to grab a towel off the counter. After getting it wet, I hand it to her, and she wipes her mouth and then stays where she is. Slowly and gently, I rub her back, calming myself just as much as I am her.
“I’m good now.” She shuts the lid on the toilet, and I help her stand. When she leans over the countertop and looks in the mirror, I feel a kick in my nuts at the sadness on her face. “I just need to brush my teeth.”
“Do you need anything else?”
“No. It goes away after I puke.”
“How long have you been sick?”
She spits and then shrugs. “Couple of weeks.”
“I thought you were on the pill.”
“I am… I was. I guess I’m that one percent. I was always really careful and took it at the same time every day.”
“It’s okay. But why didn’t you tell me as soon as you started to worry?”
After setting the toothbrush back on the counter, she walks right past me. I follow her to the kitchen and lean against the counter as she opens a can of Sprite. When she locates a coaster, she finally finds my eyes.
“Come closer.”
She hesitates. “You’re not mad at me?”
“No, I’m not mad at you. I’m taken off guard, but I’m not mad.”
Her lip trembles, but she doesn’t cry. “I’m scared.”
“Come closer, baby.”
She crosses the kitchen and falls into me. I wrap her up and hold her as tight as I can to reassure everything is going to be okay. I was so mad at her for not showing up last night, but I can only assume this is why. “This the reason you ditched me last night?”
“Yeah. I was going to take them last night before I came over, but I didn’t know I was supposed to use them first thing in the morning, and I didn’t want to do it here…”
“Wish you would have told me.”
“I’m sorry.”
As I continue to hold her, a million thoughts run through my head. None of them loud enough to silence the pride coating my veins that the woman I love is carrying my baby.
“What do we do now?”
“Now, you just relax and let me take care of everything.”
She hugs me tighter, and I press my lips to the top of her head, an overwhelming sense of purpose rooting me to the spot.
I honestly never had given much thought to my future and whether I’d have kids. I’m more of day-by-day type of guy… with the exception of knowing I’d be with Paisley. There isn’t even a question of wanting this baby with her.
Growing up, I had a good family; at least, I thought I did. I don’t worry that I’m going to be a shitty dad, despite the rocky relationship my dad and I have now. He showed me a lot as a child, and I hope to give my kid the same good memories.
I’ve always wanted everything with her, so being able to create a life with her is nothing but icing on an already sweet cake.
“What are we gonna do?”
“Nothing but be happy, babe. This is a shock, but it’s not a bad thing. Nothing that happens between us is bad.”
“But it’s so unexpected.”
I nod. “It is. But you’re going to be a great mother. I just know it. I’ll be an okay father, and our kid will grow up happy. I don’t know how much more we can ask for.”
“You’re right. As long as we have each other, we’ll be okay.”
“Damn straight.” I’ll make it that way no matter what.
Paisley
“You never told me about your mother.” We’re sitting on the couch a couple of hours after I first got here. He fed me some toast and put in my favorite movie to distract me.
“What about her?”
I bite the inside of my cheek, wondering if I should have brought it up.
“She had cancer, and she died. Not much else to tell.”
“I’m sorry.”
He keeps his eyes on the TV but begins bouncing his leg. “I am, too. She was the best.”
I lean against his shoulder, and he grabs my hand, linking our fingers together. Figuring the conversation is over, I focus on the TV.
“My dad fucked my mom’s nurse and got her pregnant. As soon as she died, I moved out on my own and haven’t looked back. I’ve never even met my sister.”
“Holy shit, I’m—”
“Don’t say you’re sorry for him. Never for him. He was a selfish prick who made the worst time of my life impossibly even more worse. As much as I try to pretend it doesn’t, it still fucks with my head, but the only time I know for sure it doesn’t is when I’m with you.”
“Royce.” More is said when I say his name than just the one word. It means everything, and I don’t need to say anything else for him to understand what I’m trying to convey.
He kisses my forehead. “Nobody will ruin what we have, including him. You want to talk about your parents, I’ll listen, but he doesn’t get to ruin this, too.”
“Okay.”
“Thanks, baby.”
“Speaking of…” I change the subject but won’t forget to ask more about his dad. Because I have questions, one big one in particular. But it’ll wait until he’s ready to tell me. “Have you ever thought about what you want to name your kids?”
“I’ve never thought about it before. You?”
I giggle because I have. A lot. “Well, my mom’s name was Rose, my grandmother Flora. We kind of have a flower name theme going on, so—”
“You get your flower name if it’s a girl. But I won’t do some new age shit if you give me a son.”
“New age shit?”
“Yeah, like a fruit or something lame like that.”
I erupt in laughter solely on the fact that he knows anything about “new age names.”
“What’s so funny?”
“Nothing. You’re just cute.”
“Cute?” He swings me over so I’m straddling him. “You think I’m cute?”
I rest my arms on the back of the couch. “Is that a bad thing?”
“Yeah. A baby is cute. A puppy or even a damn kitten is cute.”
“Okay, sorry. I meant to say, you’re adorable.”
He stands, and my legs wrap around his waist, then he brings me to the bedroom where he lays me on the bed. I expect him to start taking my clothes off, but he sits next to me, running his fingers over my face. “You. Are adorable. You’re beautiful, and every expression on your face tells me you’re trying not to freak out. But right here, there’s not a safer place to be so don’t be afraid to let it all out.”
God… He notices everything. I laugh for a second because he knows me so well.
“Paisley.” He kisses my forehead, then runs his nose along mine. “It’s gonna be okay.”
Then I let go of the tears I’ve been holding back. With every hitch of my breath, he kisses me. Holds me tighter. He reassures me he’ll take care of me… of us, our family. He gives me the security I was so afraid I’d lost, and when he promises me forever, I believe him.
* * *
“This is how it should be. Every single morning. How it will be from now on.” Those words are the first I hear the moment my eyes open. I lied to my parents about spending the night at Becky’s apartment to avoid any conflict.
“I know.” And God, do I. Last night was amazing. Just being with him and sharing a bed with him is something I treasure. And something I missed since we’ve been back here.
He brushes some hair off my face and runs his fingers through the strands. “This is where you belong.”
“I know, but…” I don’t finish because I know exactly what’s going to happen as soon as the words come out of my mouth.
“But what?”
“I just… you have to understand I was looking out for you. I didn’t not come to you because I didn’t want to be with you. I did it for your own good.”
“Not following you, precious.”
“I heard him.”
He sits up but keeps stroking my hair. “Heard who?”
“Erik. It was the very first day we got back.”
“What’d he say?”
“Something about his fault for trusting you, and he’d make sure you never got a job anywhere else but for your father, and, uh… something about ripping your balls off and shoving them somewhere.”
His eyes widen at the last statement. “I like my balls.”
“I do, too.”
“I can handle your father.”
“But—”
He puts a finger over my mouth. “No buts. We’re in this together. I got your back, baby. Always.”
“I know that, and that’s why I was worried.”
“I get it.” He nods to himself as much as me. “I understand where you were coming from, but you have to understand that nobody else, absolutely nobody, gets to dictate our lives. Nobody has a say in our relationship or our family.”
My eyes water hearing those words. Our family.
“You hear me? I will never let anything get in the way of that. I just need to make sure you feel the same way because when we go to tell him, it’s not gonna be pretty.”
After I told him I was pregnant yesterday, we decided we’d sleep on the new revelation and then tell my parents tomorrow… which is now. “I know it won’t be pretty.”
“But what we have, what we’re creating, is beautiful, and nothing will ruin that. I won’t let it.”