Chapter 19
Royce
“You’re doin’ great, precious.” I kiss her forehead and then tilt my head down to look into her eyes. “So strong, you’re almost there.”
Her breath hitches on a strangled cry, and her hands squeeze mine so hard I wouldn’t be surprised if she snapped a bone. She throws her head back into the pillow and grunts as she pushes through another contraction.
I want to do more. I wish I could do something other than just stand here cheering her on.
“This is your fault,” she yells. “You made me have an orgasm. You started this whole damn thing yesterday!”
She had just fallen asleep last night when her water broke, and now she’s been in labor for fourteen hours. “I’m sorry?” I look over my shoulder to see the doctor and one nurse with small smiles on their faces.
Her breathing slows, and her grip on me tightens. “God,” she whispers.
I hold her sweaty face in my free hand. “You’re almost there.”
“I don’t think I can do it anymore.” Her eyes well up with tears and roll down the side of her face, mixing with beads of sweat. “I can’t do it again.”
“Yes, you can.” I press a hard kiss to her dry lips and then rest my forehead against hers, looking into her eyes. “You can do it, Paisley. I know you can. You’re so strong. You’ve done so good so far, baby. Almost there.”
“It’s coming again.” She shakes her head back and forth, pushing it into the pillow. “Oh God, I can’t do it, Royce. It hurts so bad.”
“You can, baby. You can.”
She grits her teeth together and screams as her entire body tightens. Wetness streams down her face, and her knuckles are white as she grips the bedrails. Somewhere in the distance, I hear a nurse counting and the doctor’s deep voice encouraging Paisley.
“I can see the head.”
I peek between her legs, and sure enough, a fuzzy head sits between her thighs. A baby. My baby is right there.
Her eyes widen, and she blows out a breath as the contraction subsides. She throws an arm over her eyes, and her whole body shakes as she sobs. Goddamn, my heart is breaking. “Paisley, honey. It’s almost done.” I take her arm away and hold her hand. “The head is right there. I can see it.” I smile at her, but she doesn’t stop crying.
A nurse comes over and encourages her. “Once more, mama. Get ready. Bear down and push.”
I feel her hand clamp tighter, and she grunts as she squeezes her eyes shut and pushes.
“Keep going, Paisley, last push. Almost there,” the doctor cheers her on. “Daddy, do you want to see?”
I take a step away from her head, and as soon as I peek over her knee, I see the baby come out. All slimy and tiny. It’s freaking amazing. Holy shit.
“It’s a boy,” the doctor says, a smile in his voice.
Paisley falls back on the bed and breathes heavily. The itty-bitty miracle opens his mouth and wails louder than I’d think possible. I grab Paisley’s face and kiss her all over. “You did it. I’m so proud of you, precious. You did it.”
She smiles. “It’s a boy.”
“It is. God, I’m so proud of you. You did so good.”
“Would you like to cut the cord?” a nurse asks me as she thrusts a pair of scissors in my direction.
“Yeah.” I take the metal shears and put it where she tells me but hesitate when she nods at me to cut. “It won’t hurt him?”
“No. Not at all,” she reassures me.
I take a breath and slide the sharp blades through the tissue, gasping in awe when it’s done. “That was so cool.”
“Mommy, want to meet your son?” The nurse brings him over and sets him on Paisley’s chest.
She runs her finger along his face. “He’s beautiful.”
I touch his little hand with my pinky, and strong fingers grab it as his eyes pop open. My heart stops a beat, and my throat burns as my mother’s eyes stare back at me. Paisley smiles at me, and I wrap my arms around her and my son, then kiss both of them. He makes a cooing noise, and the nurse comes over to take him to bathe and dress. I follow her and watch closely.
She takes great care and hands him to me, where I don’t hesitate a moment to hold my boy.
“He’s so tiny,” I whisper in awe.
“He is,” Paisley agrees. “Thank you, Royce.”
I gently bounce him as I walk over to the side of her bed and sit on the edge. “I didn’t do anything, precious. This was all you.”
“No.” She sniffles, and I lean over to kiss her. “I couldn’t have done it without you.”
He starts to fuss, and Paisley reaches out for him. I hand him over to his mama.
“I’m going to grab Erik and Polly.”
“Yes.” She smiles. “Please. I want them to meet him.”
I walk out of the room and make my way to the waiting room. They both stand, excited and nervous. Polly fights back tears, and Erik doesn’t blink.
“It’s a boy. Perfectly healthy. Paisley’s doing good. She was a damn rock star.”
“Yay!” Polly squeals and jumps over to me, hugging me tight. “Can we see him?”
“Yeah, come on.”
They follow me, and when we arrive at the room, Polly goes in first. Erik grabs my shoulder, so I turn around and raise an eyebrow at him in question. Without saying anything, he pulls me to him and hits me on the back. Finally. I copy the gesture and step back to allow him room to meet his grandson.
Once we’re all gathered, I clear my throat. “We’ve decided on a name.”
I look at Paisley, and she nods. “Meet your grandson. Anderson King.”
Erik makes a strangled noise, and Polly just cries more. Erik’s last name is Anderson, and as a way to honor him, we decided on using it for the first name.
“No middle name,” Paisley continues. “Just Anderson King.”
“Strong name for a strong boy,” Erik finally says. He rubs the top of Anderson’s head and then kisses Paisley’s. “Proud of you, kid.”
“Thanks, Derik,” she whispers. “Do you want to hold him?”
“I’d love to.”
Erik and Polly take turns holding the baby, and when he starts to become fussy, they leave so Paisley can nurse. I call my dad with the news and invite him to come to the hospital.
“You don’t care if my dad comes, do you?”
“No. Not at all. He should meet his grandson. And your sister should come too so she can meet her nephew.”
I shoot him a text real quick and tell him to bring Mercy and Kim. While we’re waiting for them to arrive, I climb in the bed with the two halves of my heart and hold them both in my arms, soaking up every single second of this because nothing has even been more perfect.
“He’s perfect, Royce,” she whispers, her fingers slowly tracing his face.
“He is.” When I look at him, when I hold him, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that this is exactly what was supposed to happen.
The waiting, the years of fighting the pull she had on me finally gives me reason. Anderson coos, and with her eyes closed, Paisley smiles. “This doesn’t feel real.”
“I know, baby.”
“Can I come in?” my dad asks with a gentle knock to the door.
I get off the bed and round it to meet him. Kim stands shyly off to the side with Mercy, who’s not so shy with a blue teddy bear. “Can I see him?”
“Yeah.”
She runs in, and Kim reaches for her, but I tell her it’s okay. I know she’ll be gentle. She sets the bear next to him and touches his cheek. “He’s so cute,” she says, in only a voice that an eight-year-old girl can, making everyone kind of melt a little.
Dad walks over and looks at the baby and then Paisley. “Congratulations. He’s beautiful.” He admires him for a moment, a softening of his face that I haven’t seen since I was a little boy, then holds his hand out. I take it, and he pulls me to him. “Congrats, son. I’m so proud of you. He’s perfect.”
I squeeze my eyes shut and nod, silently agreeing.
“He really is. Congrats you guys,” Kim agrees.
“Thank you.”
Kim smiles, and at this moment, for everything that she did… or at least everything I thought she did, I forgive her. Life is too short to hold grudges, and I want as many people in my son’s life who love him.
Anderson cries, and everyone looks over at him. His head is turned and his eyes open. My dad lets out a chuckle and looks back at me, grasping my shoulder and lowering his voice. “He’s got your mom’s eyes.”
My gaze drifts to my boy, and I nod at what I already know. “He does.”
* * *
My phone vibrates in my pocket, and I pull it out to read the text from Q. I reply and thank him for working his magic and tell him I owe him one.
I gently take my other arm out from under Paisley’s head and quietly get out of bed. My fingers drift over Anderson’s head, and I tiptoe out into the hallway. It takes a quick second to adjust to the bright lights, but when I do, I unlock my phone screen and dial a number.
“Hello.”
“It was a girl. She’s in first grade now. Her adoptive family is very prominent in North Carolina with no record of said adoption. Regardless, she’s happy and healthy and living a good life. You should do the same.”
Then I hang up the phone and forward the picture of Chad’s daughter to him.
Paisley
Maybe it’s something you learn if you grow up in a loving family your entire life. Maybe if my parents wouldn’t have died, I would have known because my mom would have told me as I got older. It could also just be something you don’t know until it happens to you. Or maybe… I’m just lucky.
Because I’m sitting here, cradling our perfect, beautiful baby, and my feelings are almost indescribable. I don’t know what they are. Happy isn’t even something on the radar. Elated doesn’t cover it. For sure, blessed is in there somewhere. Lucky. Overjoyed. Ecstatic. Maybe if you could combine all the good words, it would come close to defining how I feel right now.
I’ve barely slept since giving birth yesterday. Between visitors coming in and out, and Anderson eating and changing his diaper and nurses checking in on me, I think maybe I’ve gotten two hours of sleep. But it doesn’t matter. I’m exhausted, but I’m so content that it doesn’t even matter.
Royce is taking a nap in the living room, and I’m sitting in our bed holding my son, who’s just nursed and fallen asleep. A faint knock on the door has me looking to see Derik walk in. “Hey,” he whispers.
“Hi.”
He comes in and sits down, admiring his grandson. “How’s he doing?”
“Really good.”
“He’s amazing, honey. You guys did good.”
“I think so, too.”
He fiddles with something in his hand and clears his throat. “Polly and I tried to get pregnant. It was devastating when it wouldn’t happen, and I tried to encourage her to see a doctor. I’d have gone to one of those voodoo ones if it meant being able to see her carry my baby.
“I was on board with the decision to adopt, and when she said she wanted to adopt a teenager, I didn’t hesitate because it was what she wanted, and all I wanted was to make her happy. But when we were talking to the social workers and they were explaining all the risks of problems one could come with, I seriously reconsidered. I tried to talk her out of it, to be honest.”
Anderson’s arm flails, and we both wait until he settles back down.
“She was determined, so stubborn, and so sure that it was the right thing to do, but I was worried we would get a child with problems who was angry and bitter and would end up hurting her.” He shakes his head, his lips tilting in a loving smile. “We saw you… and I knew that I’d never been more wrong about anything in my life. Because you were, you are perfect.”
“I am not.”
“For us, you were. For Royce, you are. And I knew… the second I saw you two together, I damn well knew this was going to happen. The idea that this man would be the one to take care of you when you got older, ideally, made sense.
“But in that hospital, when I saw it, when I saw the way you two were looking at each other and the realization hit me that I was losing you already… I wasn’t ready. I barely had you, and I wasn’t ready to let you go yet.”
I grab a tissue off the bed and dab my eyes. “I’m not going anywhere.”
“I hated it, Paisley. Hated that it was happening already and it fuckin’ scared me.”
“I was kind of scared, too,” I admit.
He holds up a gold band between his fingers. “This was my father’s. I want you to have it. To give it to Royce. If you want to.”
“Of course, I do.” I take the ring from him and fall in love with it immediately. “Derik, I… I don’t know what to say.”
“You don’t have to say anything. I just want you to be happy. Polly has my mom’s ring, and I know you have your mother’s, so this is the next best thing.”
“I love it. Thank you. Royce will be so happy, too.”
He leans over and gives me a hug. “I love you.”
“Love you, too, Derik. And thank you. This really means a lot to me.”
He stands and wipes his hands on his jeans. “You mean a lot to me and always will. Don’t ever forget that, okay?”
“Okay.”
“Now I’m gonna go drag my wife out of here so you guys can have some time alone. If you ever need anything, call me.”
“I will.”
“And I meant what I said before. If he does something to piss you off, as much as I like the guy, you’re my daughter, so I’ll take great pleasure in kicking his ass every now and then.”