Chapter One

Amanda’s heart was going to beat right out of her chest. She was that scared. The bluegrass quartet had just started to play, and after they were finished, it would be her turn to take the stage. She was supposed to ask for donations for her church’s mission trip. Instead, Amanda was about to do something that could change her life forever. Her palms were sweaty, and butterflies filled her stomach as it turned in nervous circles again and again. Maybe it would be better if she just quietly slipped out the back of the pavilion. There were other ways she could get revenge. Ways that wouldn’t leave a stain on her soul like the one that would forever mar her father’s spirit.

No. It had to be this. She’d spent countless hours trying to figure out a way to make him pay. It was all she’d been able to think about ever since she had walked in on her father, who was supposed to be a man of God, banging their church’s beautiful, curvy worship leader on the floor right behind the preacher’s podium. Amanda hadn’t been able to tear her eyes away from the sight, even though she wanted desperately to look away.

She’d wanted to flee the room, to forget that these few horrific seconds had ever happened. And she did, after a long, drawn-out moment of horror and disappointment. She’d turned her back on the father she’d all but idolized her entire life and covered her ears against the sounds of him making love to another woman while her mother was lying in the house directly behind the church. For some it would have been too great a risk to have an affair only yards from their wife.

Amanda had supposed, as bitterness rose up to fill her heart, that knowing that said wife was too sick to get out of bed might have seriously mitigated the risks. While he was getting his rocks off, his wife lay dying of lupus.

Amanda had never found the courage to confront him about the encounter. She lost her nerve every time…and her father had never asked why his daughter was growing more distant, why she’d turned from the quietly obedient child he’d helped to raise into a bitter, rebellious stranger. She’d like to think that he had just assumed that she was dealing with Mom’s death in her own way…or maybe he’d just been too busy screwing members of his congregation to notice. It was probably the latter.

The quartet’s final song drew to a close. Amanda was nauseous, she was so nervous. She wanted to leave, to go home and pray for forgiveness, forget that this idea had ever entered her mind. Instead, she wrapped herself in the hurt and anger of the memory of that night. She used the bitter feelings like armor against her conscience and reached nervously down to smooth the silky, short dress she’d borrowed from Aimee just for this moment.

Then the stage was silent, and it was her turn to step before the crowd. She knew she looked good in the short, blue dress that brought out the blue in her eyes and the tall heels. She might be a little bit thicker than was considered fashionable by women, but she’d seen the way that men eyed her curves.

She made her way over to the microphone. Before she started speaking, she scanned the crowd, searching for her father’s large form. She met his eyes, and saw the disapproval radiating from them…disapproval at her choice of outfit, she assumed. Well, if that riled up dear old Dad, she could hardly wait to see his expression at her next words. She smiled at him, a bitter grin. Then she looked away from him to scan the crowd.

“Good evening, everyone. I’m sure you’re expecting me to ask for donations for our mission group, the way that I do every year. Well…not today.”

A ripple of laughter moved through the crowd, the polite humorless sound that crowds make for teachers and preachers who make bland jokes that everyone laughs even though they aren’t humorous in the least. This was it. Her last chance to back down, to keep being the tame, sweet preacher’s daughter everyone believed her to be.

The daughter who had sat docilely by and let her father cheat on Mom in the last weeks of her life. She wouldn’t. That girl was gone, and her next words would make sure that everyone knew as much. She tried her best for a sultry look and voice as she said her next words. She ran a hand down her side, starting at her waist and ending after the swell of her hip.

“Today, I’m asking for…donations…for something else. For me. Do you want me boys?”

She paused, noting with pleasure the shocked outrage on her dad’s face. “I’ve never been with a man before, never felt a man’s touch.” She’d planned to run her hands over herself again at this point, but nerves were about to catch up with her, so she spoke a bit more quickly.

“I’m ready to, though. I don’t have a man in mind yet, so I’ve decided to auction off my virginity to the highest bidder. You can place your bids on my web page…and may the best man win.” She rattled off the website—the one that had originally been her youth group blog—and noticed with satisfaction that her father’s rage had morphed into pale-faced horror.

Good. It wasn’t nearly as bad as he deserved, but at least she was making him hurt the way that she had, the way that her mother would have if she’d ever learned of the betrayal by the man that she’d devoted her life to. The room went silent.

You could have heard a pin drop. The only sound as she walked out was the click-click-click of the heels she’d borrowed from Aimee as she made her way off the stage. Before she left, she turned to blow a kiss at the crowd. Her eyes were drawn to a tall cowboy at the back of the room. It was Blake Daniels, she realized. Her eyes met his as she blew the kiss. He was staring at her like he’d never seen her before in his life.

She gave him a final, sad half-smile before she walked away. She’d just ruined her chances at catching a man like him—a decent, hard-working one—in this town. It didn’t matter though. Dad would get what he deserved, and she could put the money she’d earn by selling herself to getting a fresh start. She couldn’t keep crashing on Aimee’s couch forever, after all.

Amanda tried to push all of the shame, fear, and self-doubt from her mind as she made her way to the car on shaky legs and drove quickly through the small town she’d lived in her entire life on her way back to Aimee’s place.