CHAPTER 13

Isobel

 

What the hell just happened? He’d been looking at me like he used to all those years ago. Then his eyes shuttered and the cold, detached look I’d gotten used to seeing on Brock’s face over the years took over. There were so many differences from the guy I knew, but lurking under the surface I could see the man I’d dreamed of a future with. How things could have been so different for both of us. By some bizarre twist of fate we went from thoughts of running a legitimate company one day to being wrapped up in a world of violence, pain, and more illegal activities than you could count on one hand.

I started to follow Brock toward the door, but stopped halfway there. “I don’t have any shoes.”

“That’ll be the first stop we make.” He didn’t bother looking back, his determination to get to the car fascinating.

What the hell could he be running so quickly from? Me? He wasn’t getting away from me that easily. I ran to catch up, grabbing his wrist and using my weight to yank him to a stop. “Why are you running?”

“I’m not. I want to get out there and back before someone sees you.” He kept his eyes just above my shoulder.

“Then why aren’t you looking at me?”

He dropped his gaze to mine. “I am. What am I supposed to see?”

He built a wall between us. It was there in his eyes. He was trying to keep me out. When Brock came back upstairs last night, I wondered if I’d changed too much for him. Although I knew getting involved with anyone at this point was idiotic, I couldn’t stop myself from wondering. After years of holding onto him to get through the worst nights, it was hard to stop from falling into the same pattern. Then this morning something else occurred to me.  What I began to realize was maybe we were exactly what the other needed. Whether it was only sex or it led to something more, for now we were stronger together. Brock made it clear he wouldn’t give up what he was doing for any woman. Which meant he needed a woman who could handle what he did for a living. A woman who wouldn’t fear the danger his job would put her in every day.

I’d been forced into that position long ago. This time it would be my choice and I had every intention of making him see how we could be together. It might have only been a day since I was thrust back into Brock’s life, but my feelings for him hadn’t changed. The only difference was I’d learned how to keep the most vulnerable parts of myself locked up, where they would stay. That didn’t mean Brock and I couldn’t have something great. Something unique to the two of us.

“I think you don’t want to see anything, but that’s fine, I’ll show you anyway.”

I stepped forward only to be pulled back by Brock’s grip on my wrist.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

I moved closer into Brock, leaning up on my toes to take a nip at his chin. His eyes turned molten. “That for the first time in your life you’re afraid, but I’ll show you there’s no reason to be afraid of me.”

He let go of my wrist as if it burned him. “Goddammit. I’m not afraid of anything.”

“Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone that you’re afraid of me. It might ruin your reputation.” Without taking my gaze from his, I walked backward toward the garage door. He stood there, his mouth agape and I decided to throw in one more good dig to get him on his feet again. “Then again with my own reputation, maybe it’ll make you seem more badass.”

He blinked and that ornery smirk appeared. I spun and was running before I knew it. I’d almost made it to the car when I found myself whipped around and pushed up against Brock’s car. There was a lightness to my whole body I’d been missing for so long. Brock’s mouth crashed over mine, his tongue sliding between my lips. Powerful, commanding, and I was lost. I slid my hand up his chest, bunching his shirt between my fingers and holding on for dear life. Our tongues tangled and danced. Even after last night and this morning, I wanted more. I wrapped one leg around his waist, forcing my body into direct contact with his.

I could feel the groan rumble through his chest under my hands. Just as quickly as it began it ended. Brock ripped his mouth away, drawing in deep, ragged breaths. I lowered my leg and attempted to gain my bearings.

“As much as I would love to bend you over the trunk of my car and fuck the shit out of you, we don’t have time. We need to get out shopping and get back before someone recognizes you.”

I ran my thumb across my bottom lip and nodded. “You’re right. We have time for that when we get back.”

Brock adjusted himself through his pants, then opened the door for me to get into the car. He was in the driver’s seat and we were on the road in a flash. “We’ll stop somewhere and get you a pair of shoes to wear in the stores.”

“You know I don’t have anything with me, unless you plan on taking me to the bank.”

“Oh, hell no. We’re not going anywhere and telling people who you are. I’ll pay for everything.”

I glanced over at his profile. The hard set of his jaw meant it was not up for argument. Not that it would stop me from arguing over the money. “You are not going to buy me clothes.”

I saw him peek at me out of the corner of his eye. “What do plan on doing then? Wearing my shirts around the house?”

“They’re big enough.”

“Amanda,” he growled. His eyes shot to where I’d cut the sweatpants off, probably shorter than he wanted. “You need clothes to wear and that’s the end of that.”

“Fine.” I crossed my arms over my chest.

“Knock it off. If it makes you feel better you can pay me back when we figure out how to get your hands on money without the whole state knowing where you are, much less Malcolm or Jimmy. Not yet, anyway.”

That comment made me forget my annoyance and instead spiked my ire. “What do you mean, not yet? Planning to hand me over to Jimmy as some sort of revenge?”

I almost smashed my face on the dashboard as the whole car lurched forward. Horns blared all around us as we came to a dead stop in the middle of the road. Cars swerved by us as Brock slowly turned to face me.

“Brock, the cars.”

“Fuck them. Do you think for one minute I’d sell you off to Jimmy like your father did?” His voice started out deadly soft, rising with each word. “I’m not like him,” he roared.

Why did I say that? Did I really believe Brock would want revenge for what my father had done to us? Maybe, but he would want it on my father, not me. I’d become so used to seeing the worst in people that it was my first assumption about every situation. With Nathan, I had to keep one eye over my shoulder to make sure one of the pricks loyal to him didn’t try to stab me in the back. I owed Brock an apology. I knew he wasn’t that type of man. He might use his fists to make a living, but that didn’t mean there wasn’t an honorable part of him. “I’m sorry. I don’t think you’d do that. I shouldn’t have jumped to that conclusion. I know better. What do you mean about them not knowing yet?”

The car moved forward again. “I’ll need to tell Malcolm about you eventually. He needs to know you’re not the monster we all assumed you were.”

“I’m not sure that’s completely true.” I kept my gaze out the passenger window, watching the trees go by.

“Bullshit. Just because you punished a few assholes who deserved it does not put you in the same category as Marcello. You didn’t lay a hand on their family and friends.”

“I didn’t stop it.”

“And you didn’t demand it happen either. Stop blaming yourself.”

We pulled into a parking space of a shoe store on the side of town. A place I would have never been allowed to frequent as Isobel Marcello. High-end brand names. Shit, I hadn’t even been allowed to shop in a department store. My mother loved Nordstrom and their designer collections. Nathan thought they were too plain. I soon learned it meant not sleazy enough. Most of the time I’d revealed enough skin for a soft porn flick. No more.

“What size do you wear?”

“Usually a seven and a half, but grab a pair of flip-flops. They’ll fit no matter the brand and they’ll be easier to get on and off to try on clothes.”

He nodded. “I’ll be right back.”

Brock climbed out of the car and went into the store, leaving me alone for the first time since he’d locked himself in the basement the night before. Could my luck have really changed that quickly? I was still getting used to the fact I no longer had to deal with Nathan. It was freeing, to say the least. The only thing that would make it perfect was if my family could be here with me, but until Jimmy was handled and Malcolm didn’t possibly want my head on a platter, I had to stay low.

Brock came back out of the store, a bag in his hand. He climbed into the car and handed it over to me. “These were the only ones in there. I hope they work.”

I opened the bag to find a pair of simple brown flip-flops. I took them out of the bag. Brock produced a knife from his pocket, cutting through the tag keeping them together.

I slipped them on my feet and looked over at Brock. “Do you always keep knives in the car?”

“At least three hidden ones and I always have a small one in my pocket.”

“Never can be too careful,” I said, my gaze locked on his.

He lifted his hand to caress my cheek. I had a feeling he had no idea what he was doing. “Never.” Almost like a light went off, he shook his head and dropped his hand to the gear shift. He started the car and backed out of the space. “Where to now?”

“A department store should be safe. Nathan wouldn’t let me shop in those places.”

Brock’s knuckles whitened as he gripped the wheel tighter. “Were there any decisions you were allowed to make on your own?”

“Not many, but I found my way around most of his rules as you saw with my brother yesterday.”

He made a turn into the entrance for the mall. “I think I already mentioned that was stupid.”

“And I’m pretty sure I’ve mentioned multiple times since yesterday that I can take care of myself.”

He put the car in park and reached over, taking my hand in his. “Just because you can doesn’t mean you should have to.”

“Sometimes life isn’t that easy,” I muttered. Knowing we were getting too close to emotions I wanted to keep locked away, I took my hand from Brock’s grip and climbed from the car. I wasn’t ready to let anyone in like that again. Not sure I ever would be. “Let’s get this done.”

Brock stepped from the car, and for a moment, it looked like he wanted to say something, but he just shut his mouth and locked the car. We spent the next hour and a half finding clothes. I’d forgotten how enjoyable clothes shopping could be. Buying things you actually liked made a big difference. Even though I tried to stop at enough outfits for a week, Brock insisted I get more than I needed. I could always wash whatever I wore and wear it again. All of this was supposed to be temporary. I wore one of the outfits home, careful to keep my hair up in the baseball cap.

The ride home was quiet. One thing kept bothering me, though. “Why do you want to tell Malcolm? I thought you wanted to keep him out of this?” I asked, gesturing between the two of us.

“That was when I thought you’d go with your mom and Michael. At some point, Malcolm’s going to wonder why in the hell you’re missing and what you’re up to. If you’re staying in town, I want him to know the truth before that happens.”

“Brock, I’m not sure that’s a good idea. I don’t think the truth is going to keep Malcolm Hawes from wanting to kill me. The only reason you’re overlooking the things I’ve done over the years is because of our past. I highly doubt Malcolm would be so forgiving.”

“You’d be surprised how forgiving Malcolm can be when it comes to women being abused.”

“Somehow, I doubt that. The rest of the accusations against me will outweigh all of that.”

He drove into the garage, shutting the door behind him. “I guess I just have something to prove to you when I tell him.”

I shook my head, but Brock silenced me with his mouth, and I was transported back to earlier when he promised to bend me over the trunk of the car. I pulled my mouth free. “I don’t think you should tell Malcolm.”

“Am—”

I covered his mouth with my hand. “But I don’t want to talk about that right now. Earlier you promised to bend me over the trunk of the car.”

His gaze darkened. “Get out of the car.”

My legs clenched together, but I didn’t stop to argue. I climbed from the car and gasped when I turned to find Brock in front of me. He bent at the waist and threw me over his shoulder.

“What happened to the car?” I asked as he made his way into the house.

“I have a better idea, but we need the bed for that.”

I wanted to ask what that plan was and decided against it. I knew I’d enjoy whatever he had in store for me. It was time to let go of some of the control and enjoy the ride.