FOUR
That song is still playing. I can’t say the song itself is what scares me. At first, it was easy to ignore it.
But then it ended, only to start up again.
I don’t know how much time has passed. I’m pretty sure this is the fifth time it’s playing, and now it’s really starting to mess with my head.
Noah’s been holding me this whole time. I want to resist how good—how right—this feels.
I’m powerless. Too frightened. Too confused.
I’ve never needed anything more than I need him right now.
The urge to turn to speak to him is there, but I don’t dare. Every one of our moves are being watched. Analyzed. Listened to.
Apparently, it’s been like that for a while, but I don’t doubt it’s worse in here, with cameras surrounding us on all sides.
Despair suffocates me at the thought. I choke it down. This isn’t the time for me to break apart.
Noah shifts, moving for the first time in what feels like hours. His arms tighten around me. Softly, he leans his head down to nuzzle my ear.
Pleasure slams through all my oversensitive nerves.
The arousal from earlier never abated. It’s been there this whole time, pounding in my soul, shredding apart my psyche.
I tense, gasping. Wide eyes locked on the darkness outside our little bubble of light.
Please, no, I want to beg him, but my voice is trapped in my throat.
Don’t do this.
Don’t change us anymore.
Give me time to distance myself.
He doesn’t. His breath sliding along my ear makes my thighs tighten, pressing together.
I tense further, shaking. Petrified.
He would never intentionally hurt me, but he doesn’t understand. For the last five years, he’s been my family.
I can’t feel the way I do about him. Can’t want him like this.
My pussy throbs, a violent yell inside me. You already do feel that way about him
You have for a while.
I barely manage to swallow down my sob.
“Doll.”
It’s a whisper. That same low voice he used right before he kissed me.
He’s trying to communicate with me, I realize—my body doesn’t give a fuck. It takes every ounce of willpower I can muster up to stop myself from thrusting my ass back against him.
He snuggles deeper and I cry out feebly when I feel him—hard. Beyond swollen. I have no doubt that if the covers weren’t in the way, I’d feel his cock wet with pre-cum all over again.
“This is the only way we can talk,” he breathes into my ear, pretending to nuzzle me again.
I can’t nod. Can’t do a single thing to let him know I understand. I’m too paralyzed with demonic hunger. Too scared of us being watched.
“I need to see you, love,” he growls louder this time, and I know it’s all for show.
He’s giving me an excuse to turn to him.
I can’t take it.
I have to.
God help me, looking him in the eye right now is going to yank out another piece of my soul, but what choice do I have? We need to communicate to find a way out.
There’s no way out. You will never leave here. Not alive.
That tiny voice is evil. Insidious. If I pay attention to it, I’m going to shatter. I need to be strong. For me.
For Noah.
I ease away from him enough to turn around. Self-preservation keeps me under the covers.
Self-preservation tells me to pretend for the cameras. To make it seem like I can’t help myself. Like I need to face him, be closer.
It’s not pretend. That’s my miserable truth.
His eyes are on me when I turn. I know they are before even seeing them. In the dim light, all I can see is his concerned expression. His black eyebrows are furrowed, two perfect slashes above his eyes. That clenched jaw covered by all that dark stubble. I . . . I can’t . . .
Like the coward I am, I tuck my burning face into his neck. The move brings us even closer, but at least I don’t have to look into his eyes anymore.
Noah freezes.
I snuggle in closer, afraid he’s going to move away and force me to meet his eyes.
Finally, I feel him release a long breath. His arms come around me again, hugging me tight. So tight that I almost struggle to breathe.
My own tension seeps out. I needed this.
Shock makes my eyes widen in the near darkness. It’s true. I need this, him holding me like his life depends on not letting me go. This feels safe. This feels right. Not like whatever the hell has been happening between us since we woke up.
Noah runs his nose across my jaw, toward my ear, and I hear him breathing me in.
The moment is shattered. Whatever peace I’d begun to feel evaporates. In this position, I can feel his dick pulsing against my lower belly. He brushes his lips along my ear, groaning low.
Why is he doing this to me?
I remember earlier, when we both lost our minds. “I know, Ivy. Fuck, baby, I know.” My nails sink deeper into his massive shoulders. Without meaning to, I whimper into his neck.
He curls completely around me, like a snake securing his prey, and his head falls to my neck. “Bugger me. This is so fucking hard,” he groans out loud, and once again I know it’s for the sake of the cameras. In case we’re being watched. Or recorded.
Regardless, I can’t help but nod in agreement.
He raises his head and softly moves my hair away from my ear—heat surrounds my lobe, wet heat, followed by his perfect tongue.
I cry out so loudly that it frightens me, digging my nails deeper. My body writhes in his hold, and I realize that I’m trying to get out from under the covers. Have to get my leg around him. Oh God, I’ll do anything to grind my orgasm out on his cock.
Noah thrusts against me; a jerky, involuntary move. “You make my dick so bloody hard, baby,” he says, not bothering to lower his tone. Then his mouth is back at my ear, driving me crazier. I almost can’t make out what he’s saying, my heart’s beating so hard. “ . . . this is the only way to communicate, love. I need you to pay attention.” He’s nuzzling my ear the entire time, hiding the fact that he’s whispering to me.
That’s right. It’s an act. Nothing more. This affection is only for the sake of communication. As for that monster erection? He’s human. I’m nearly naked between these covers. Earlier, we were forced to kiss.
Fuck. I need to stop thinking about that kiss!
“Ivy, I’m going to get you out of here. You know that right?”
My heart melts at that comment. Snuggling closer, I breathe into his ear, “We’re both getting each other out of here.”
The skin beneath my hands pebbles with goosebumps. It’s just an involuntary reaction. Nothing more.
Noah doesn’t reply to my statement, but I can feel him smile against the side of my face. “They obviously aren’t planning to kill us right away.”
My throat closes up. But they do plan to kill us eventually. It’s ridiculous how upset I am. It isn’t the first time I’m hearing it, thinking it. Yet again, how does someone keep it together when they can feel the last hours of their life ticking away?
“For however long they plan to keep us alive, they’ll have to feed us. Let us use the bathroom.”
I nod a little, knowing he’ll feel it.
“Until then, I need you to follow my lead. And . . . I’m sorry for what you’ll be forced to do. So sorry, Ivy.” He sighs against me and I feel the heaviness of his stress.
How could I not? I’m suffocating under the same weight.
He’s whispering to me, but the guilt he’s feeling is still evident. My eyes well up with tears. Hugging him tighter, I cup the back of his head and caress his soft, thick hair. “It isn’t your fault. They’re forcing us.”
His silence seems to last forever this time around.
I have no idea what that means.
“For now,” he whispers along my ear. “We try our best to follow instructions.”
“She’s going to make us have sex.” Who knows when? Even worse? I’m pretty sure she’s going to build us up to it. I doubt her entertainment ends with us fucking and that’s it.
No one goes through this much trouble just to end it quickly.
Then again, what the fuck do I know? I honestly have no freaking idea how the mind of an actual psycho works.
I close my eyes, imagining all the possible ways we can be forced to build up to it . . .
Shocked, I notice I’m biting my lip. Clenching my thighs again. Battered heart racing.
It’s so hot. I can’t help it. Can’t get over what I felt earlier, how fucking good it was.
Can’t get over how much I want it again.
I start shaking against his warm, hard body, and all I feel is him.
All I smell is him.
He gives me a small squeeze. “Jesus, baby. You’re shaking.”
I press my lips together, afraid to tell him the truth. Him. My best friend. A man that me and my relatives have come to see as part of the family. A pseudo-sibling of sorts.
A man I know very, very well is still in love with his dead fiancé. The woman who gave him the necklace he never removes.
“Don’t be afraid,” he says, louder this time.
Somehow, he’s still in control. Able to analyze far ahead. Plan. Time every word and reaction.
While I’m falling apart.
But, Jesus, I’ve never felt anything as good as this man.
“It’s okay, Ivy. Come. Try to get some rest.” He lays flat on the bed and brings me to his chest. He really does mean for me to rest?
Now? In this situation? I doubt I could sleep even if they drugged me again. I’m too frightened. Too hyperaware of my surroundings.
That creepy, twisted song is still fucking playing!
It’s like my mind is caught between two extremes—focus on the situation, panicked mind racing in a failed attempt to locate an exit and prepare for what might be our eventual deaths.
Or, focus on Noah and how much I’m dying to straddle him right now.
As if sensing my agitation, he slips his fingers into my hair and begins rubbing my scalp.
Motherfucker. He knows what that does to me.
Despite everything, his touch is like a tranquilizer. The most relaxing drug on Earth. If I could arch like a cat and purr right now, I would.
As this ass knew would happen.
Eyelids already drooping, I lift myself up and press my lips to his ear.
He tenses beneath me and I feel his powerful heart speed up beneath my hand.
I nuzzle his ear like he’s done to me. “You need to get some rest, too.”
Noah cups the back of my head. I try not to whimper at the way he dominates me with that single move. “I will,” he whispers into my ear, and it’s somehow gotten even more sensitive than before. “But first you, little lady.”
Suddenly, I’m placed back on his chest and he goes right back to caressing my hair.
It’s so typical of us, his stubborn self forcing my stubborn self into cooperating, that I feel tears shoot to my eyes.
The last thing I hear is that animalistic, thundering heartbeat beneath my ear, and my last thought is that his chest is still racing.