Present day
Dean’s eyes keep finding mine in the mirror, causing a stir between my legs. The blue of his eyes appears to twinkle with awareness of how excited I am for tonight. His blond hair sits neatly upon his head and he’s made an effort with his outfit, wearing a button-down shirt as opposed to his usual sports tee. His large hands rest on his jean-clad thighs. I want them on my thighs instead, snaking up the sensitive skin until he hits home.
I need to stop seeking him out in the mirror and concentrate on the road ahead, but it’s difficult. The humming inside my chest excites and terrifies me all in the same breath. Butterflies live inside me, fluttering dutifully to remind me this could all end if my father finds out who I’m dating. Knowing I’ll have to tell him and actually doing so is something I battle with every day. I will tell him, but not yet. Right now, we can live in our bliss a little longer. Maybe I’ll never have to tell him. Dean and I are planning on going to separate schools and this heat between us will inevitably fizzle out, but for now, I’ll keep him a secret.
My father knows I’m seeing someone. He’s not stupid or naive enough to think at eighteen I wouldn’t be dating, but if he knew whose son, he would end us and see my choice as a betrayal. Just a brat acting out, embarrassing him into taking harsh action.
Marry me off to Axe, one of his brothers, like I’m a prize horse.
He would be wrong about my reasons for dating Dean, but he’s stubborn and set in his ways. The rules I’ve been brought up with are never to be broken. When they are, they come with dire consequences, and I’m not ready to face them yet. My Aunt May tells me I must like the burn because I’m always playing with fire, but that’s not true and she’s not even my real aunt. She’s just another whore trying to give herself a role other than pussy hotel.
It isn’t my purpose to disobey or anger my father; I’m just not like him. He gives me opportunities he didn’t have and then doesn’t want me to explore them. Being born into our family and his way of life wasn’t my choice. My father thinks he’ll get to make all my decisions and that I’ll marry into the family, but he couldn’t be more wrong about what I want from my life. And it is my life. Birthmark or not.
“We need chips and booze. Pull over at the gas station coming up,” Jenna says from the passenger seat next to me, a touch higher than necessary. Her lips smack together as she chews gum. She pulls a bottle from her purse and begins filling the car with a toxic mist as she coats herself with the sweet-scented perfume. It permeates the air, filling my nostrils and sticking to the back of my throat until I can taste it on my tongue.
“Stop spraying that shit.” I cough, cracking my window.
Looking around at the endless darkness, not much else visible around us in the black of night, I shift in my seat and slow the car a little. “This is a dead part of town. Let’s hit one closer to civilization. One that’s not likely to get us carjacked,” I suggest, rolling my eyes at her.
Her mouth pops open and she does a head jerk before she slaps my thigh; a thigh that’s bare due to the tiny pair of leather shorts she insisted I squeeze into. The sound of skin hitting skin pierces the space between us. She draws her hand up to her chest and screws up her face in pain like she’s the victim and not the one leaving a red handprint.
Jenna is tall and lithe. She has no ass or tits but legs that go on for days and a waist any corset trainer would kill for, whereas I have both tits and ass. And that ass is currently wedged into her small shorts that I used a coat hanger to zip up.
Before I can say anything else, she’s grabbing the wheel, forcing me to turn in.
The tires screech, and she giggles in delight. She’s always going from one emotion to the next. Her extreme moods sometimes cause rifts between us, but they never last long. I’m not one for drama or pampered princesses. I’m not sure how we even ended up here. Six years of friendship. Best friends, defying our parents.
That’s how, I suppose. We were both lonely and lost in our worlds, looking for acceptance, escape, and a feeling of belonging.
“You crazy bitch,” I snap, slapping her hand away from the steering wheel.
Jayson, her latest boyfriend, leans forward, grinning at me. “We have less chance of being seen or carded in these places.”
Opening the car door, Jenna steps out, and Jayson follows.
“Do you want me to go in and get us something?” Dean asks, but I shake my head. Jenna and Jayson have already slammed the door closed, abandoning us for the delights of a rundown garage that has a broken blinking light. Flashing letters spell the word ‘open’, only the E doesn’t light up, so it reads “OP N.” It screams horror movie, and a weird pit opens in my stomach. I’d felt it earlier, but Jenna said it was because of what I have planned with Dean tonight. Yet this is different. It’s almost like being haunted by a dull ache threatening to turn into more.
The small shack-like building with two pumps on its small forecourt and a public phone stand with no receiver located on one of the back roads out of town only strengthens the ache.
Perfect.
Climbing into the front seat, Dean’s eyes drag slowly over my attire. The blouse dips at the cleavage, allowing him a tease of what’s to come.
“Did I mention you look stunning tonight?” he says, his lashes falling over his eyes.
“Maybe once or twice.” I smirk, and as much as I want to be back in our excited, lust-filled bubble, my insides are spinning with a sense of unease, lurking like a ghost in my shadow.
Pushing my thick curls behind my ears, I fix my eyes on Jenna, who I can see through the dirt-stained window; she’s giggling while Jayson nibbles her neck.
My legs jitter with unrest.
The atmosphere thickens around me in warning. The blue hue of the moon casts a warm glow across the blackened sky and every instinct inside me tells me tonight isn’t going to go as planned.
Explaining the cloak of doom that saturates my body is impossible. Acid bubbles heavy in my gut and trickles up my throat. Vibrations tremble in the air, teasing me with their presence before I can actually see the rubber and steel. The rhythmic growl builds from a purr into a roar that sends chills racing up my spine.
I’d know that sound anywhere, and it incites the same emotion every time. My stomach drops and my heart begins to pound to the pulse of the engines’ reverberations as the three bikes pull into the station and come to rest. My chest is pounding like a war drum, pumping so hard it threatens to burst my veins and decorate the car with red.
I’ve been found out. This is it.
Fuck.
My hands tighten around the steering wheel of Jenna’s Audi. I’d offered to be the driver for the night so Jenna and Jay can get lit. Despite her dad’s dislike for me, his daughter is actually the bad influence on me, not the other way around. Both her parents work away, and most days she’s left to her own devices now she’s too old to have a nanny raising her. She has abandonment issues and her remedy is to let guys in her pants and use her daddy’s money for drugs and alcohol. It had always irritated me that her father could judge my upbringing, and yet his daughter is practically raising herself.
“You’re trembling,” Dean murmurs. His hand covers mine before he pulls it from the wheel and places the skin to his soft, full lips.
Three months I’d been keeping him a secret from my family, and my family a secret from him. We are from completely opposite worlds, but he crashed into mine and demanded I take notice. He is an escape in so many ways, but I know reality will come barreling into the fantasy and drag me back screaming. And here it is, on Harley bikes, clad in denim and leather.
“It’s going to be a good night. You worry too much. Relax. We don’t have to do anything you’re not ready for.”
Relax. He has no idea of the chaos I’m about to bring to his life.
Shaking my head, I offer a small smile. “It’s not that. I just want to get out of here. It’s creeping me out.”
The truth is, I’m waiting for the riders to make their way over here, but they haven’t.
Maybe they aren’t here for me and it’s just a coincidence.
A verse my mom used to sing to me from her favorite song hums in my head.
“Breathe easy, Breathe easy
Tomorrow all of this is just a memory.”
“Have you seen those bikes? They must be passing through. I’ve never seen a biker around here that’s not one of those Fallen Cutters,” Dean says.
He talks about them like they’re movie characters, not dangerous bikers. This whole moment is like a freaking movie, and I’m an actress who doesn’t know her role.
Nervous tremors turn into bone shaking fear with his words. ‘I’ve never seen a biker around here that’s not one of those Fallen Cutters.’
Dragging my eyes over to see the back of one of them, his cut emblazoned with their colors, the Lilith’s Army patch adorns the center; a womanly figure spanning snakes from under her dress, each head a skull, a top rocker emblazoned with their name, and a bottom rocker with their county.
This isn’t their territory.
They’re shouting slurs out to a woman who hops off one of the bikes. She’s wearing a short leather skirt with ripped tights, her red hair messy and wild. She looks like a club slut. She’s hobbling toward the hut that doubles as a restroom down the side of the building. She’s giggling and flipping them off.
“You can walk from here, bitch. We got shit to do,” one calls after her, but she carries on without answering.
“Do you think they’re passing through to go to Fallen Cutters’ motorcycle club?” Dean’s tone holds excitement and wonder. He’s foolish.
The Cutters and Lilith’s Army are on good terms now, so it’s possible that they have come from there or are going there, but the new status is fresh and temperamental, which means unpredictable behavior.
Keeping my eyes from looking over at the bikes, I squeeze my hand into a fist and try to breathe. The distinctive sound of the idle Harleys pierce the air.
“I just want to get going.” I dip low in the seat and startle when Dean blasts the horn and begins waving frantically to Jenna and Jayson, who are picking out snacks when they should be in the car so we can get out of this part of town.
“Stop it!” I snap.
Laughter, loud and profound, floats over from the direction of the bikes and then the sound of heavy boots hitting asphalt demands attention.
The store door makes a weird noise, akin to a muffled dog toy being chewed up as Jenna pushes through it just as the three men are close enough to grab the door and hold it open for her to exit.
Hairs rise on the back of my neck and the stirring in my stomach becomes a raging tornado. Jenna notices their clothes and bikes and her eyes dart to where I’m sitting. Her demeanour shifts from the loose, carefree girl she usually portrays. Her shoulders stiffen and she bows her head.
“You not going to say thank you, sweetheart?” one of them says, checking out her ass as she retreats.
Jayson follows her out and my stomach spirals into sickness when his mouth opens. “Thanks, sweetheart,” he says stupidly, pleased with himself.
Jenna’s head turns abruptly and she hisses something to Jayson, but I can’t see or hear what.
“Fuck!” Dean growls next to me when the door is released and none of them goes inside. Instead, they begin following Jayson and Jenna to our car.
Suddenly, Jayson is shoved forward, causing him to drop the armful of snacks he’s carrying.
“Dude, what the fuck?” he yells, turning to face them.
The creaking of Dean opening the door alerts me to the fact that he’s getting out. I want to scream for him to stay inside. My limbs are numb and I don’t know if I’m dreaming because there is no way this can be happening.
The guy who shoved Jayson is in full view of me now and my eyes drag over the leather cut hanging loose on his not yet fully matured body. He’s large, but the youth in his face gives him away as being our age, maybe a little older. Long brunette strands hang down to his shoulders, bordering a handsome face. There’s no rank on his cut, but he appears to hold authority over the two guys who are laughing at Jayson. His cut has his road name written, Breaker Brenner, and below it, a symbol -1%.
This will escalate quickly and end badly for both Jayson and now Dean, who is standing beside him.
Jenna pulls open the car door, but it’s quickly kicked shut. This guy is shorter than the other two but has a stockier frame and tattoos on every inch of exposed flesh, apart from his face.
“Where are you going in such a hurry, sweet ass?”
Quickly getting out of the car, I round the hood and come within inches of the guy called Brenner who’s squaring off with Dean and Jayson. The look in his eyes is something I’ve seen many times before. Excitement. He likes the trouble. He likes to bully. And he isn’t afraid of anything.
“We don’t want trouble. We’re just leaving,” I say in a calm tone that doesn’t match the chaos I’m feeling inside. I push at Dean and Jayson’s stomachs, growling under my breath. “Get in the fucking car. Now.”
“Well, look at this princess coming to save her hero.”
“I can’t tell which one is the princess,” the one with tattoos barks.
My mind races and nerves have coiled every muscle in my body.
Jayson and Dean have no idea the danger we’re in by entertaining the argument with them.
My mind sifts through solutions, and the only thing I can come up with is a lie. One I hope the others don’t catch me out on.
Swallowing and embracing a façade I’ve worn many times, I fold my arms and open my mouth. “Have you got nothing better to do than argue with some high school kids?” I say meekly, hoping we will appear young and not worth their torment.
Breaker Brenner looks over my body, focusing his eyes on my tits that are bulging with my arms pressing them further out of my top. I’m regretting my outfit once again. His hands come toward me and the instinct to kick him in the balls makes my leg twitch, but I manage to control myself and let his dirty hands grope at me.
I don’t care if it’s the only hope of getting us out of here alive.
“You don’t look like a high schooler.” The one covered in tattoos snorts, moving closer to me. It’s then I read his road name, ‘Tats’.
“She doesn’t feel like one either.” Brenner grunts, squeezing too hard and making me whimper.
Dean’s strained voice makes tears pool in my eyes.
Everything happens so fast.
“Get your hands off her!”
“Fuck you, cunt!”
Jayson swings first at the guy whose patch reads ‘Buzzer’. Soft tissue and bone connect with knuckles. Grunts and moans become the soundtrack to my nightmare. The long-haired guy, Brenner, is quick to swing a punch and it floors Jayson, causing Jenna to scream and run to him. I’m knocked to the floor with a rough shove, my ass smarting as it makes contact with the asphalt. Dean charges but he’s weaker than them. He’s put in a headlock.
“Let him go! Stop it! Let him go!” I scream and scream until my throat is raw and tears pour down my face.
I don’t know how this escalated, but I do know how ironic all this is.
All three of them attack Dean while Jayson lays unconscious on the concrete. Jenna tries to drag him inside the car but his body weighs twice hers; it’s futile. She stumbles and cries.
Anger and rage force my limbs toward the three of them. I jump on the back of one of them. His warm body beneath mine as I tug and pry at his arms makes me want to throw up. “Let him go, you bastards!” I cry, pounding my fists down on his back.
I’m slipping and not making any impact. My legs wrap and tighten around his waist as I yank at his hair. His head tilts back and I take the opportunity to dig my nails in and claw his face. “Leave him alone. Leave him alone!” I scream until my voice gives out.
He jolts his body one way and then the next and I’m tossed to the ground. My body lands with a thud on the tarmac. Scrapes burn up my arms. I want to fade into the air and wake up at home three months before ever meeting Dean. I’m cursed. I have to be.
“Stop!” I scream once more, getting to my feet and trying to pull them away from Dean again as he grunts and groans. His pain becomes mute when he’s kicked and punched, and no sound leaves him anymore.
No.
Blood covers their hands and Dean’s body has become limp.
Vomit races up my throat and bursts from my lips, spoiling the shoes I’m wearing. They’re not even mine; they’re a pair of Jenna’s mom’s.
A silent sob echoes inside my empty shell. How has this happened?
“He’s a pussy,” Brenner announces, wiping his knuckles down his shirt and striding toward me.
His feet come to a halt just as arms circle my waist from behind. I’m pulled against a warm body that begins dragging me backward. Fear and shock have already taken hold of me, but still my legs kick out in defense.
“Let go of me!” I squeal against the unknown person restraining me.
“I’m calling the police.” The unfamiliar male voice rings out in my ears and vibrates through his chest against my back as he continues to pull me away from Brenner. Away from Dean. It’s then I notice the shop is empty and the guy restraining me is the cashier from inside. He wants to save us, trying to pull me the other way into the safety of his little store.
My eyes draw to Jenna, who’s shaking and sitting in a patch of her own piss.
“Let her fucking go!” Brenner orders, like I’m his property. If we didn’t know better, anyone would think the cashier was the villain with Brenner’s tone and glare, passionate and demanding.
The glint of silver flashes before my eyes as Brenner reaches into the back of his jeans. It’s quickly followed by a click of the gun he now has aimed at us.
He doesn’t even blink, pause, debate, or give any options for surrender.
Jerking his thumb, he pulls the trigger.
Click.
Bang.
The noise pierces the air and rains down around me, coating my world in pitch-black cruelty. Brenner is the moon eclipsing the sun, his uncaring nature shaking my world to the core. A jolt from behind me jars my body. A warm mist sprays the side of my face.
My mouth opens but nothing comes out. I can’t scream; it happens too fast. I’m freefalling. My body begins to tip backward as the guy holding me collapses behind me, his arms still around me, dragging my body down on top of his. Flight mode takes over my limbs and I scramble to free myself as sobs wrack my body.
His isn’t the first death I’ve witnessed. A brawl between two brothers broke out in the club once and one stabbed the other to death, and then my father shot him for killing another brother.
Knowing I may be next, and knowing his blood is literally on my hands, makes my soul ache. He came out to try and help us and now he’s dead.
Wiping his blood from my face in a panic like it’s an infectious contagion, I scrub until my skin is on fire.
My eyes fall on my broken Dean’s unmoving form. I move across the ground to get to him, but someone grabs at my arms, holding me back. It’s one of Brenner’s brothers, but I can’t see which one and I don’t have the strength left to fight him off. The blood pooling around the cashier like a broken faucet left on makes acid burn the back of my throat. He was someone’s son, brother maybe, and he was killed so recklessly. And for what? What did they gain here? Nothing.
A shadow catches my attention from the corner of my eye and I see a woman, the one with red hair, spying around the side of the building, but she’s gone when I blink. Will she call for help? Not if she’s a club whore. She will know better than to betray the club. We’re alone in this.
This will do nothing for them. If anything, it will cause unwanted attention on their club. Dean’s father will not let this rest. My father will not let this rest. War is what they’ve just bought upon themselves and their club.
“Shit, Brenner. You fucking killed him,” the one with tats says.
“Do you know what it takes to clean this shit up?”
Clean this shit up? He’s a human being.
“You bunch of bastards,” I spit. My mind has accepted I may not make it out of this tonight and is ad-libbing.
Storming toward me, Brenner stops centimeters from my face, his breath hot on my skin. “You need a real man, not some pussy who can’t even take a hit.” Taking my hand in his and forcing it against his crotch, he pushes his bulge into my palm and the barrel of his gun into my cheek. “You need a real man to shut that big fucking mouth of yours up.”
Liquor on his breath stings my eyes. Although I want to squeeze his balls until they’re pulp, I know he would shoot me in the face, and I don’t want my dad unable to identify me. I want to be buried next to my mom.
“Breathe easy, Breathe easy
Tomorrow all of this is just a memory.”
You need a real man. Was he serious?
“I do? Let me know when you see one.” Fear makes me rash and rebellious.
The one holding me barks with a burst of laughter. “We got a rowdy one here.”
Brenner’s eyes darken as he growls at me. “Cunt.”
“We need to go, Brenner. That asshole probably called the cops before he came out here. I need to check for security cameras and hack the city network to erase any images of us near this area.”
The door of Jenna’s Audi closing gains their attention, causing the one who isn’t restraining me to run over to the car and climb inside. My body propels forward as I’m released from the hands holding me hostage.
“Carjacking gone wrong. Tats, push Buzz’s bike into the bushes over there, camouflage it, and we can come back for it,” Brenner orders.
Tapping the gun against his leg and looking up at the night sky in thought, Brenner circles Dean.
“He’s had enough. He’s just a fucking kid,” I plead.
“Shut the fuck up, bitch. He’s old enough to throw the first punch. He’s my age; he’s just a fucking pussy. Had nothing to back up his game.”
“There was no game!”
I debate whether to tell him who I am, but I know if I do they will have to kill me so I can’t speak of what happened here.
Jayson moans from behind us, coming to and lifting his weight onto one elbow. He watches Brenner with utter fear in his aqua-colored eyes.
Boots hitting asphalt signal the return of Tats. “No one will know the bike’s there if they don’t go looking for it, and Red took off,” he announces, breathing hard.
“Fuck Red. We should have left her back at the motel. Get that cunt in the car,” he orders, pointing at me. What a disgusting monster he is. I hope his dad is proud of the sick fuck.
My legs weaken with the command and then life and time stop. My body shuts down. My brain begins taking mental pictures to store and deal with when the shock wears off.
Brenner points his gun and shoots two rounds into Dean.
My heart physically hurts and my legs give out from under me. He wasn’t even moving. The bastard shot him for no reason.
I’m being dragged toward the car as Jayson begins wailing and begging for his life. Getting to his feet, he takes off running but is instantly subdued by two bullets firing into his back.
A twitch of Brenner’s finger.
The flash from the gun.
A loud crack.
Jenna’s childlike scream.
Each sound swims around my thoughts, chasing the other until darkness steals me and I’m gone.
Hell has dragged me into its depths.
Raised voices hum around me, waking me.
It takes three seconds for the realization to dawn on me that they have taken me somewhere. The leather scent from Jenna’s car seats assaults my nose. My heart shrivels in my chest. ‘Dean,’ I internally scream as my mind floods with images of bullets penetrating his broken body.
My chest constricts and I can’t suck in enough air.
Calming the storm raging inside myself, I will my chest to relax and inhale small gasps, sucking oxygen into my lungs.
It’s going to be okay. Breathe. Think.
When my body stops trembling, I lean up to look out of the window toward the raised voices. Night still clings to the sky and the tall, daunting trees bordering both sides of the small road we’re on only darkens the night further, blotting out the hue of the moon.
How long have we been driving?
Jenna?
Scanning the bodies outside, I only see Brenner and Tats. They appear to be arguing, their stances stiff and defensive.
“What are we going to do? You fucking killed those guys, Brenner!”
“So? I’ve killed people before,” he snaps.
Tats rubs a hand over his head. “These were random kids. Your dad’s going to fucking flip.”
Pointing his finger and marching toward Tats, Brenner snarls. “Who’s going to tell him? You?”
“Fuck no.”
“Then why are you sweating it?”
“What are we going to do with them?” His head jerks to where I’m looking out at them, but he doesn’t see me.
“Take them back to the club and have some fun.”
Tats’ eyes widen. “That wise? Can’t we just deal with them now?”
He grins over at the wooded area. “You want to get branches in your ass or be in your room with your toys?” Brenner smirks.
A sob claws up my throat and I try to contain it with my hands over my mouth, but it rips from me anyway, gaining his attention.
They’re going to have to kill me because I’m not letting them take me anywhere to be raped. I need to get free or I’m going to die here and be left to rot in the woods.
Pulling at the handle of the car door, I jerk forward, spilling free. The shock that the door was left unlocked surprises me and I freeze for a second. Scrambling to my feet, I take off running. The road appears endless, miles of nothing spread out in front of me, but I keep powering my legs forward. I’ve lost my shoes somewhere, and the gravelly ground cuts into the soles of my feet.
“Fuck!” Slurs and yelling ring out behind me as footsteps pound the ground.
I gain speed as my heart ricochets in my chest.
A piercing sound screams out into the night air, shattering the calm of the trees. Fear causes my body to disobey my need to escape and I slow and crumble to the ground. A tortured cry rips from my chest when a hand reaches into my hair. My scalp ignites in pain as I’m dragged backward.
“Don’t ever fucking run from me again, bitch,” Brenner growls, yanking me up from the floor. Pinching my cheeks, he pulls my face up to look at his. The black of his pupils expands, swallowing the color of green.
“Don’t fucking touch me.” I fight and struggle against him. “You disgust me. Just kill me. Kill me.” My tiny fists pound against his chest.
His hand releases me. My head snaps to the side when the impact of his open palm slap makes contact, the sting setting fire to the soft skin on my cheek. The throb in my jaw steals my thoughts for a second.
“If I were going to kill you I would have done it already, you crazy bitch. You think you’re disgusted now? You have no idea how bad it’s going to get for you.” He bends forward and heaves me over his shoulder. Carrying me back to the car, he tosses me inside and locks the doors.
Losing control of my emotions and stability, I kick and punch at the door.
Lights coming in our direction garner my attention; headlights. They’re slowing as they approach and a pick-up truck with Buzz inside rolls to a stop. His bike is on the back, and he’s grinning.
“They left the fucking keys on the visor flap. Amateurs,” he boasts, jumping down from the truck.
“Get them inside the truck. We’ll drive the car as far into the woods as possible and torch it.” Brenner barks his orders.
He said get them in the truck, but it’s only me here.
Buzz goes to the back of the car and pops the trunk. To my horror, he reaches in and carries an unconscious Jenna to the truck. When he opens the door to get to me, I kick it with all the fight left in me. It smashes into his chest, knocking him backward. I sprint from the car and run straight into a wall of Brenner. His fist connects with the side of my face and robs me of consciousness.