Chapter Seventeen
The warm, naked body pressed up against him startled Sebastian. Unused to waking up with someone next to him in bed, he was confused. The memories came back, and his chest constricted at the sight of Jade cuddled beside him, looking so achingly beautiful.
Jade stirred, throwing her arm back, and he used the opportunity to slip away from her. Planting his feet on the ground, he rubbed his face with his hand. Christ, he couldn’t do this. He was supposed to protect her, not take advantage of her like this. Her confession last night, it hit too close to home. She had enough baggage. He came with an entire moving truck of issues from his own childhood, not to mention PTSD.
“Sebastian,” she called out, her voice raspy with sleep. “Everything all right?”
He straightened his spine. “I’m fine, Jade.”
The sheets rustled behind him and a warm hand touched his shoulder. He flinched away from her, then stood up and stalked to the bathroom. Turning the tap on, he splashed water on his face.
He was no good for her; he knew that from the beginning, but he took her anyway. And, now, she would pay for it. He would eventually show his true colors, and she would get hurt.
Wrapping a towel around his waist, he walked back into the bedroom where Jade was still lounging on the bed. Fuck, she looked so beautiful with her long, dark hair spread over the pillows, the sheet wrapped around her body, and the chain necklace he had given her glinting in the morning sun.
“Sebastian,” she purred, reaching out to him. “Come back to bed.”
It took all his strength not to say fuck it, and just jump back into bed with her. Bury himself inside her and just forget the outside world. “Uh sorry, darlin’,” he said, clearing his throat. “I have an early meeting. I need to get ready.”
She gave a pout. “Really?” She sat up, exposing her breasts, toying with the necklace.
Fuck.
“Really,” he said curtly. He grabbed her shirt and jacket and tossed it to her on the bed. “You should get dressed too. Don’t you have to go to work? My guys’ll be waiting outside for you if you need a lift. I’m gonna go shower.” He was a fucking bastard. And a coward, too, because he turned around before he could see her reaction. It was better this way.
He got under the shower. Cold this time, as cold as he could stand it, but it did nothing to ease the pit growing in his stomach.
No. Go back.
Fucking Beast. “Shut up. Go away. You’re not satisfied ruining my life, so you have to do it to hers too?”
Ours.
Ignoring The Beast, he turned off the tap and grabbed the towel hanging from the rack, drying himself off violently. When he got out of the shower, she wasn’t in the bedroom, but he heard her angry footsteps across the hardwood floor and then the door slamming. Good, he thought. She should run away. Far away from him and the monster.
***
Sebastian’s eyes scanned the room. Luxe was in full swing tonight—more beautiful women than he’d ever seen at one time. Redhead, blonde, brunette, heck, there was even one chick with rainbow-colored hair. A lot the women had thrown interested glances at him (and some more than just looks). He could have his pick of women tonight. Lose himself in them, forget about her. That’s why he ran away, right? Because he wanted her too damn much, wanted to keep her for himself when he wasn’t good enough for her.
Fuck. Damn it all to hell.
He was a complete bastard. And The Beast made no bones about its anger at him. It was uncontrollable today, roaring in his ear, scratching at his insides. He was so distracted he couldn’t get any work done. He also screamed at his assistant for no good reason. Even now, The Beast was there, stalking him in his own head.
He wanted her so bad, to touch her again, to feel her around him, and to hear her whisper his name. Why couldn’t he stay away from her? She opened up to him about her past, leaving herself vulnerable. And what did he do? He pulled away from her. Hurt her.
The Beast. The nightmares. No, that was just an excuse. He had been scared at first, afraid he’d hurt her physically, but Jade was fine. She didn’t even have any bruises this morning. He couldn’t blame it on The Beast. The damn animal actually wanted Jade for him. Wanted him to protect her and keep her. That’s why The Beast was fucking furious at him the whole day.
No, it was his own goddamn fucked up brain that made him push her away. Scared of her. Afraid of what she made him feel. And that was just one more reason why he wasn’t the man for her.
Slamming the glass on the bar, he stood up and left. He’d go home and sleep it off.