Damian
“There's got to be another way,” I said. “A better way.”
“If you can think of something, I'm all ears,” Mills replied.
We sat in the clubhouse's meeting room, the long table empty, save for the two of us. He sat in his usual seat at the head of the table while I paced the room.
I sighed and dropped down into the seat at the opposite end of the table from him. Mills was watching me closely and looked like he was… excited. He was doing his best to keep himself under control, but I couldn't help but notice a certain gleam in his eyes I could only interpret as excitement. What in the hell was going through his head?
“Damian, I hate to say it,” Mills said, “but she's the only piece of leverage we have. She's the only thing we've got that Mendoza wants. She is probably the only thing that's going to make that snake stick his head out of his fuckin' hole, man. And you know that.”
I sighed and ran my hand across my face, the stubble on my chin making a dry, scratchy noise. He was right. And I knew he was right. But that didn't mean I had to like it. Nor did it mean I couldn't stop trying to find another way through this mess.
“I just don't want to put her in the crossfire, man,” I said. “She's been through enough, and I don't want to put her in danger.”
Mills nodded. “I get that, man. I really do. But we've got to face reality here. For whatever reason, Mendoza is fixated on this chick. The only thing we can do is dangle her out there and let him walk into some shit.”
I shook my head. “There has to be another way. I can't ask that of her, man.”
“You're not asking me,” Cara's voice came from behind me. “I'm volunteering.”
I turned in my seat and found Cara standing in the doorway. She walked into the room and dropped down into the seat on my left. She looked at me and gave me a small smile, but I could see the fear in her eyes.
“What are you doing here?” I asked softly.
“Trying to help put an end to this once and for all,” she replied.
“I'm gonna give you guys a few minutes to talk,” Mills said and then looked at Cara. “Beer? Coke?”
“Coke, please,” she said and smiled.
I watched Mills walk out of the room and close the door behind him. He was being awfully solicitous and gentle with her. Kind, even. Which told me that he had an ulterior motive in play. That wasn't Mills – not unless he wanted something.
And I had a feeling I knew what it was he wanted.
“Cara, you shouldn't be here,” I said. “You shouldn't be doing this. This is gonna get bad. Probably real bad.”
“I can't live the rest of my life worrying about whether or not today's the day Mendoza snatches me up.”
I gave her a grim smile but nodded. I understood where she was coming from and no, she couldn't live her life that way. But there was also the chance that if we used her as bait, she might not even make it out of the confrontation alive.
“Where's Austin?” I asked, pitching my voice low.
“He's safe,” she replied. “With friends.”
I nodded. “This is nuts, you know. Dangerous.”
“I know,” she said as she took my hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. “But so is not putting an end to that miserable son of a bitch.”
I sighed. Exposing her to this part of my world was not what I wanted. And I knew it wasn't what she wanted. This was a world she'd done her best to avoid getting entangled in altogether. And I hated like hell that she was caught up in it.
“You know what this means, don't you?” I asked her gently. “You know how this is all going to go down?”
A dark look crossed her face – something I hadn't seen before from her. “I know what's going to happen to Mendoza. I'm not naive.”
“I didn't think you were. I just—”
“I should feel bad about it. I know I should,” she said. “And yeah, there's some small part of me that feels a little bit guilty. But Mendoza – he's a threat to me, but more importantly, he's a threat to Austin. I won't ever feel comfortable knowing he's walking around alive – mainly because he could come for me at any moment. I feel like a monster, but I don't care that Mendoza is going to die.”
I gave her a small smile. “You're no monster. Not even close.”
Mills came back into the room and set a cold bottle of soda down in front of Cara. She thanked him and twisted off the top and took a long drink. It was minor, and she was doing her best to cover it up, but I could see her hand trembling. She was scared – and right to be so.
“So,” Mills said, dropping back down into his seat. “Are we good to go?”
I looked over at Cara who looked back at me. “Good to go,” she said.
“Excellent,” Mills said, clapping his hands together. “And don't worry, Cara. We're going to keep you safe and out of harm's way when all this goes down.”
Yeah, except that we couldn't really promise anything. When the bullets started flying, all bets were off. Oh, we'd do our best to keep her down and out of the way, but stray bullets hit innocent people all the time. But I didn't want to scare her any more than she already was. Cara had chosen her path, and I'd gotten to know her well enough to know that when her mind was made up, it was made up.
“So, what's the plan?” I asked. “Because I assume you have one since you had Cara brought to the clubhouse.”
Mills grinned. “As a matter of fact, I do have something in mind.”
“And?” I asked.
“Well, since I doubt that Mendoza is going to be taking your calls,” Mills started, “I figure I'll give him a call and offer to make a trade. I'm gonna offer Cara up for certain… concessions.”
“What sort of concessions?”
Mills looked at Cara and then back at me. “Something probably best discussed later,” he said. “No offense, Cara.”
She shook her head. “None taken.”
As I looked at Mills, the missing piece of the puzzle fell into place, and I knew exactly why he was so eager to help me with the Cara situation. By taking out Mendoza under the pretense of protecting her and Austin, we'd break the back of the Fantasmas and wipe out their MC. With them out of the way, Mills would be free to let the Kings fill the void in the drug and gun trade in the area.
It was the same play he'd tried by having Mendoza take me out – give him an excuse to declare war on the Fantasmas. Except this time, he was going to use an innocent woman and her child as his pretext.
A woman and a child I cared about.
The thought came to me out of nowhere, and it caught me off guard. I looked over at Cara who was looking back at me with wide eyes that were filled with fear – but also with determination. And as I looked at her, I felt something stirring within me – deep within me. Something I wasn't sure I'd ever felt before. Something I didn't know that I was even capable of feeling.
I don't know that it was love. But then, I wasn't familiar enough with the emotion to know one way or the other. My life hadn't been filled with sunshine and roses, and love was a luxury I'd never afforded myself. Women had always been disposable to me. I was sure a shrink would tell me it was a reflection of how I felt about myself – in fact, a shrink back in the military had said just that. But, whatever. I just never had the desire to let anybody to get too close to me.
Until now.
And all I knew was that if anything happened to her, it would tear a hole in me deeper than anything on this planet. It would leave me feeling empty. Hollowed out.
I needed to protect her. I needed to make sure she got through what was to come. And I would do everything in my power to see that she did.
This wasn't the fight I wanted. This wasn't the battleground I would have chosen. But I would stand, and I would fight. I would fight for Cara. For Austin. I didn't know how she felt about me with any certainty, but I wanted to know. Wanted to explore the possibilities with her.
Which was why I would stand and fight – for a possible life beyond anything I'd ever allowed myself to imagine.