“Kaydence?” Tyler knocks at my bedroom door as I sit on my bed, staring at the empty pill bottle.
“Don't come in,” I call out and shove the bottle under my pillow before lying down.
He broke up with me. He dumped my pills and then broke up with me.
“Fuck!” I scream, throwing my pillow.
“Kaydence!” Tyler shouts, bursting into my room.
“Get out! Get the fuck out!” I throw my other pillow, inadvertently flinging the empty pill bottle at him.
Bending down, he picks up the bottle and reads it.
“What is this?”
The urge to cry is heavy, but the tears won't come. I took two pills today because of what happened at dinner. What the hell am I doing to myself?
“Kay, what the fuck is this bottle? Why's mom's name on here? Are you still fucking taking these?”
“Not anymore. Chase just flushed the refill mom brought me down the toilet.” The words numbly come from my lips. If I ask my mom for more pills, she'll have to be told why I don't have them anymore and then she'll lose it.
“Why are you taking these again?” he screams at me. “You don't fucking need these! You were fine for years without these!”
“I never stopped, Tyler.” Huffing, I lay back and close my eyes. “You stopped. I didn't. I need the pills.”
“We never needed the fucking pills, Kaydence!” He throws the bottle. “Holy shit, you're addicted to fucking depression meds.”
“Get out.”
“That's why you're like this!”
“Please get out.” I stare at a spot of blue paint on my ceiling.
“You're a fucking zombie because of the pills!”
“I'm not a fucking zombie!” rips from my throat as I fling to a sitting position and he flies back against the door like he thought I was going to attack.
The expression he's wearing confirms I have never once let anger release like this. I was trying to tell myself I'm capable of feeling anger, but I'm just genuinely happy. For the most part that's true, but I bottle it all up.
“Fuck this.” He grabs the pill bottle again and storms from my room.
“Tyler,” I blurt and jump from my bed, following him. “Where are you going?”
“To talk to mom! She's fucking poisoning you, Kaydence, and I'm fucking sick of this. She's sick in the fucking head and ruining your life!”
“Tyler, let it go.” I grip his arm. “Don't. Just leave it alone. I don't want her to know what happened.”
He stares at me a few minutes but I don't expect him to listen to me. He never listens to me. He knows what's best.
When he sits down on the couch, I furrow my brows.
“Sit down.”
I want to sleep. I don't want to talk. Snatching the bottle from his hand, I walk down the hall to my room and close the door. When a crash sounds from the living room, I jump and turn back for the door but stop myself.
We've got issues, but my brother will have to learn to deal with his as well.
“Kay,” Jo blurts my name and I jump, snapping out of my daze, yanking back before Surge bites me. “What are you doing?” She jerks me away from the horse. “Are you high?”
I chuckle and shake my head no. “Sorry. I'm fine.” I smile at her. “I dazed for a minute.”
“You've been like this for the past two days. It's time you let it out, girl. I heard your brother telling your mom you haven't talked to him in two days. And Martha asked if you moved.” She chuckles. “She said she hasn't seen you or been able to get in touch with you. So what's up? Everything cool?”
I hold the rope twisted around my hand and stare at it a few minutes.
“Kay?” Jo says and I look up, shaking my head no.
“Chase broke up with me.” My lip quivers and I pray the tears will come. I haven't been able to cry about it yet. I've been insane telling myself everything happens for a reason and trying to convince myself it's better this way. But it's not! I know it's not!
“What? When? Why?”
“Thanksgiving.” I can barely get the word out past the lump in my throat.
“What the hell! Why?”
“I don't know, Jo.” My expression begins to contort and she wraps her arms around me.
I do know why he broke up with me, but I don't want to admit my faults.
“Maybe he hasn't changed, Kay. This is probably for the better.” She rubs my back and I whimper, the tears starting.
I'm the one that needs to change.
I pull it together a few minutes later and she tells me to go home. I walk through the door and trip over Tyler's boots.
“Son of a bitch!” shrieks from my mouth and I throw them at the wall, knocking down the framed pictures.
I rush to the mess and quickly pick up the picture of my sister, glad the frame didn't break. Then I pick up the photograph of all of us. Me, Tyler, Andrea, my mom, and dad. My eyes focus on my mom and anger begins to make me shake. I need to know the truth about the medication. I never needed to go see a professional because my mom always provided me with the pills. I do remember when we were kids going to the doctor often, but I can't remember why.
I clean the house, top to bottom then sit down and convince myself that calling Chase isn't going to change anything. This was supposed to happen. Everything happens for a reason...but I don't know what this reason could be other than to make me hurt.
“Kay,” Tyler whispers my name a few times and I open my eyes, realizing I fell asleep on the couch. There's a girl behind him but I can't focus straight. I don't know how long I've been asleep but it feels like days. “Kay, what're you doing out here?”
I unintelligibly mutter, a response not even forming in my head, then stumble toward my bedroom. The only thing I want to do is sleep, so that's what I do, until Sunday when my mom's leaving. I feel guilty I didn't spend much time with her the week she was here, but I'm going through withdrawals from the pills I think and I don't even feel like I can stand up straight. At least not until I hear yelling. It takes me a minute but I rush from my bedroom, hearing my brother losing his mind and when I walk into the living room, my mom is not the person I expect to find him screaming at.
“You fucked us all up!” screams from him and she's staring at him with her mouth hanging open. “Fucking look at her!” When he gestures to me, my mom's eyes land on mine and I'm still trying to fully wake up.
“Kaydence, where have you been?” my mom gasps.
“In bed,” I mutter and look at Tyler in confusion.
“For two days?” she shrieks.
“Yeah because you turned her into a freak! She doesn't have anymore pills to fuckin' take and this is what happens!”
“Where are your meds?” My mom rushes to my side and tries to tame my hair.
“They're fucking flushed down the toilet where they belong! She doesn't need the pills! How does it make you feel, mom? Do you feel good about yourself that Kay's alive but has no emotions other than fake happiness?”
“My happiness isn't faked,” I mumble, blinking every time my mom tries to smooth down my hair.
“She's so afraid to be anything but happy that she walks around faking it every damn day!”
“My happiness isn't faked,” I repeat again flinching away from my mom but she keeps going with my hair.
“People think she's slow because she walks around with a fake smile and shitting rainbows!”
“My happiness isn't faked!” I scream so loudly my mother jumps and stumbles away from me. Tyler finally closes his mouth and I stressfully push my hair back. “My happiness isn't fake! I like being happy. I enjoy making other people happy! I'd be happy on or off the pills! Fuck!”
“Kaydence!” my mom gasps and Tyler shakes his head.
“She's never acted like this until she stopped taking those fucking pills, mom. You did this,” he snarls.
“Ty, shut up.” I start to braid my hair and face my mom. “Mom, were we diagnosed with depression the way Andrea and dad were?” I stare at her and she's looking at me like it's a stupid question. It is a stupid question. She wouldn't put us on the pills if we weren't.
“No!” Tyler stresses.
“Shut up, Ty! Mom?” I urge.
“It runs in the family, Kay.”
“I know that!” I groan. “When we were little, were me and Tyler diagnosed with depression by a medical professional?”
“Kaydence, I didn't need a doctor to tell me my kids have a chemical imbalance. You need the medication.”
“Oh my god.” I never expected my mom to self-diagnose us. I never expected it to be a lie, her putting such deep-seated fear inside me that we were sick in the head and if we stopped taking the pills we'd end up like my dad and Andrea. “Tyler, when'd you stop taking the pills?” I ask, not looking away from my mom.
“When I was sixteen. When she stopped prepping my every meal and slipping the pills in.”
“Do you have suicidal thoughts or want to hurt yourself?” I hold eye contact with my mom and her eyes keep bouncing from me to Tyler.
“No! I have a ton of emotions, but that isn't one of them. We don't need the fucking pills, Kay.”
“Suicide isn't the only side effect of depression!” My mom spouts.
“You've been telling me for years that the thoughts will poison my mind and because it runs in the family, because we are all diagnosed with severe depression that I will have thoughts of killing myself. You said the pills stop that.”
“They do! You don't have suicidal thoughts, do you?”
“No! But only because I don't want that in my life! Mom, you lied to me for years! Years you've been screwing me up worse than I already am!”
“You're fine. Just keep taking your meds,” she insists.
“I'm not taking the fucking pills anymore! I haven't taken them in a week! The only thoughts I have right now are my mother's a damn liar and the guy I actually love left me because you've been screwing with my head this long.”
“Kaydence, I can't lose you!” She tries to grab me but I pull away.
“You won't! At least not to suicide, but this, this is unforgivable! You knew Tyler wouldn't take your shit anymore so you continued to prey on me! Why?” I want to shake her, but I know I need someone to shake me. I chose to believe her, but I didn't have a reason not to.
“Because I can't lose another child!” she bellows.
“You don't do this to Tyler!”
“Because!” She looks at Tyler. “Because..!”
“Because I don't let her, Kay. You do...and you let me treat you like shit,” he says it like it's my fault. I am to blame. “Fuck, I didn't realize how I treat you until Chase said something. I'm sorry, Kay, but I'm not going to baby you like that anymore. Not even if you wanted me to. It's not right. The way mom taught us, none of it is right.” He drops his shaking head like he's disappointed in himself.
“Mom.” My voice cracks and she quickly looks at me. “Why'd you do this to us?”
“I tried to protect you!”
“You didn't do it the right way. If Chase Haring hadn't come into my life, I probably would continue on this path until it was irreversible. You're trying to ruin my life.”
“I'm trying to protect you!” She grabs me and the tears start. “I couldn't protect Andrea. Her head was too clouded. Too poisoned and I wanted to keep the poison out of your brains.”
“You sound like a nut,” Tyler mutters and I sigh because he's right.
“So instead you poisoned my head with other things. Other things that made my boyfriend leave me. That makes my brother, my cousin, my friends think I'm some sort of weirdo. That makes strangers think my brain isn't fully developed. Happiness is a choice, and I choose to be happy. You're forcing it and making it fake.” I stare at the tears rolling down her cheeks a minute before walking to my bedroom, locking the door behind me.
When I sit on the bed, my tears let loose and I listen to my mother cry from the living room, still fighting with Tyler. I cry until I fall asleep again and when I wake up, it's because Jo's drawing on my face.
“Jo,” I mumble and push her hands away. “What are you doing?” I swipe at my face then look at my hand, seeing the black makeup on my fingertips. “Jo,” I groan and roll away from her.
“You look so stupid.” She's laughing so hard she can barely get the words out. “I've been drawing on your face for fifteen minutes!”
“Jolene! What's wrong with you? I have to go to work!”
“Yeah, I know, and you're an hour late. That's why I'm here.”
“What?” I fling to a sitting position and grab my phone. “My alarm...I'm so sorry, Jo. I must have slept through my alarm.”
“Don't worry. I let Addict and Surge trample your first client so she won't be complaining you didn't show.”
“Jo.” I start to giggle. “You're mental.”
“Yep, but I hear you're not anymore.” She glances at me, moving toward the door. “I kinda found out what happened with Chase. Through the grapevine of course, and that vine has so many gaps, and extra tangles. Initially I heard he's been harboring a stripper from Vegas and you just found out. Then I heard you're addicted to meth and Chase couldn't get you clean. Oh, my favorite was you have a dick and Chase ain't gay.”
“What the hell?” I mutter, completely confused where she heard these things.
“Maybe I started that last rumor. Whatever, who cares.” She waves her hand and I can't help but laugh. “Point is, you can't sleep your life away, or your job, or your fired.” She shrugs and heads out of my room.
“Jo!” I blurt and she peeks her head back in.
“What's the most truthful rumor you heard?” I ask, wondering if anyone knows the truth.
“That your family was hard on Chase, looking out for you when you didn't need it because he's actually in love with you and would do anything for you. And that you're hiding some things from him because you'd rather focus on happy things. And that, most of all, you don't have any fight in you and you haven't even tried to fight for him. You can't love someone but not show them how important they are to you, Kay. If he's worth it, let him know. Step out of your comfort zone and stand up for him, for you. For you both. Also, get your ass to work, I seriously don't have the patience for your two o'clock client.” My door closes behind her.
I've managed to avoid Tyler for almost a week, but he's been waiting for the perfect opportunity. As I sit on the couch and watch Netflix, the same damn show Chase and my mom watched, eating popcorn, he must think now's the best time.
“Hey.” He sits next to me.
“I didn't cook,” I mutter.
“Popcorn it is.” He clears his throat. “Kay, I'm sorry for my hand in this.”
“In what?” I glance at him and get massive vertigo and have to grab the arm of the couch. The side effects of not taking Prozac anymore should start winding down, and I hope it's soon.
“You and Chase. I heard who he was in the past and—”
“His past has nothing to do with who he was with me,” I mumble and shove popcorn into my mouth.
“Yeah, I know that. I know he really loves you and treated you good. I just worried about when he'd break your heart, 'cause I know you ain't as strong as you always pretend to be.”
I stare into my popcorn.
“You're not bulletproof and you can't keep pretending everything happens for a reason. Sometimes that reason is 'cause life sucks. Simple as that, but you know that if something happens that you don't like, you can try and change it, right? You don't have to accept it until you get a definitive answer. You know that, right?”
I look over at him, wondering who the hell this kid is.
“He wouldn't have walked out if he wanted to make this work,” I mutter.
“Yes he would have!” he blurts the words and shifts like he's getting comfortable. “We're dudes. Not all of us are level headed. Not all of us know what the hell we're doing in love and relationships. Kay,” he sighs and stares at the TV. “Not to be mean, but you really didn't prove he's worth anything to you.” When I try to protest, he puts his hand out to shut me up. “I mean afterward. Your relationship was fine, but you just let him go. If that's not what you wanted, why'd you let him walk out?”
“Because!”
“Because everything happens for a reason,” he says in a dopey tone and I throw popcorn at him. Picking it up, he shoves it in his mouth. “Seriously, you need to get your shit together. Start fighting for things that matter. Every other douche in your life, yeah, sure, but I can tell you actually liked this guy. More than a things happen for a reason way. You had him meet mom!”
“I did.” I smirk and wipe my nose that's starting to run because I'm fighting back tears.
“So call him.”
“Now?” I look at him.
“Probably should have done it a few days ago. But yeah, now.” He pushes my phone that's sitting between us toward me.
I dial his number and it goes to voicemail.
“You just...you gotta try harder if it matters. Your misery doesn't happen for any other reason than you let it.” Standing, he walks toward the kitchen before turning back. “And I'm sorry. This is a deep down apology. I'm sorry I let you act like this for so long. It was just so much easier to protect you. You're not dumb, I know you're not, but I let you be so flighty for years because I thought it'd be easier on you if a situation like this ever happened. Guess I was wrong when the right person came along. The night of Thanksgiving, nothing got settled between me, him, and Brandt. We were hard on him and we...” He sighs. “Fuck, we kept telling him you don't really like him.”
“Tyler!”
“I know. Fuck, I know that was wrong, but we were fighting against him. Nothing got settled, but I'm confident you can settle it, and this time I'll back you. I'm sorry, Kay.” He turns for the kitchen again.
All I know is I have so many more things to try and figure out in my head before I can try and figure out Chase.
When Surge throws me off his back, I hit the ground hard, needing a few minutes to get air back in my lungs. I've been trying to work with this damn horse because he needs love too. Empress is perfect, Addict has a small attitude, but we get along, but Surge, nothing will get through to that damn horse.
“Kaydence!” I hear Brandt yell. “What the hell are you thinking?”
I gasp in a breath and watch Surge trot back to the barn before looking at Brandt. His face is blocked by the sun at his back and all I see is a blob and sun shining around it.
“I'm fine,” I mumble and slowly get to my feet with his help. “Fine.”
“You're not fine,” he says with more caution in his tone. “What makes you think that horse is suddenly trainable? He could have killed you.”
“We were doing fine. I lost concentration.” I clear my throat when a knot starts to form. I've cried more than I care to admit in the last couple weeks. I think more than I've ever cried in my life, including when half my family died. “I need to...” I mutter and start heading toward the barn.
“You ever gonna talk to anyone about it?” he yells after me.
“Talk about what?” I scream with a stomp of my foot as I turn around. My fingers curl into my palms and I want to hit something.
This is getting out of control.
“You love him.” He approaches with his hands in his pockets. “Have you talked to him?”
“No, because he doesn't care, Brandt. You all took care of that for me. He wants nothing to do with me or my friends or family. Tyler told me how you guys resolved your issues that night. Thanks a fucking lot for not resolving anything! Why do you all hate me? You're all against me! Including him!”
He sighs loudly. “I didn't think it was that serious. I didn't want you getting hurt. Kinda fucked that up, didn't I?”
“Yes,” I whisper and tighten my fists. “Yes you did.” The tears flood like a bucket was dumped over my head. I know this is a side effect, but its not only because I stopped taking the pills, it's the side effect of a broken heart. “Thanks, just stay out of my life. I'm leaving the ranch in two weeks and it'll be much easier for you to forget I exist.” I head for the barn.
“You're leaving?” he blurts, running after me. “Kaydence, stop! You're going where?”
“Home. Not here. I'm not happy here.” I shrug my arm out of his grasp.
“This is your home. You... Fuck! You can't leave!” He follows me into the barn. “Kaydence, this is ridiculous.”
“What's ridiculous is what you all think about me. You all think I don't have a valid thought in my head. I'm always in la la land. And I'm sure Tyler's got to you and told you it's because I've been on the depression meds. I stopped taking them after my mom admitted we were never diagnosed with depression like Andrea and my dad were. It was a precautionary measure.” I laugh and shake my head, wiping the slipping tears. “So now here I am. Head out of the clouds. Miserable. And I hate it here. You all wanted this right? For me to actually hate something? Well, it's you all I hate now.” I walk over to Surge's pen and he's peacefully eating so I get inside and take the saddle off.
“I didn't want you miserable, Kaydence. I was trying to protect you from it. None of us knew about the meds. Not even your brother. I just assumed you didn't want to see the type of person Chase was.” He huffs. “But it looks like people can change. Chase changed. It doesn't take an idiot to see that. And I hate to admit that I was wrong,” he mumbles, leaning against the fence and watching me carefully. “I'd do anything to make you happy again. Please, just don't hate me.”
I walk out of the pen and lock the latch, trying to ignore the emotions battling within. “I don't want to hate you. I don't want to hate anyone.” I break down in sobs.
He curses and immediately his arms wrap around me. “Goddammit, I'm sorry,” he whispers. “This is exactly what I was trying to save you from. And if I'd have not been so stuck on the past this wouldn't be happening right now.” He hugs me tighter and I can't turn off the waterworks. “You want me to go to talk to him?”
“Oh my god no,” I mutter and pull away, trying to wipe my face but I know I'm wiping dirt across my cheeks. “Just let it go. He's over this.”
“Kaydence, that man loves you. You don't just get over someone because of a rough patch. If you've ever trusted me on anything, trust me on this. He didn't stop loving you. And from the look I saw on his face that night in that room...he probably never will.” He pushes his hand to the back of his neck. “You need to talk to him. If there is one thing I know about Chase, and I know I'm not wrong on this, it's that he's insanely stubborn. You didn't go after him, he's not going to come crawling back.”
“He thinks I'm addicted to depression meds, Brandt. And... I was. God,” I groan and cover my face. “But I'm still a nice person. I'm still the person you all...hated. Except I realize now—” I stop talking when Annie walks into the barn. I realize now I need to be telling this to Chase, not Brandt. “You look adorable today.” I smile at her.
“Your face is dirty.” She cringes at me and I chuckle, trying to wipe the dirt, but it's not going anywhere until I shower.
“Annie, you ready for your lesson?” Brandt asks, smiling at his oldest.
“Mom cancelled that today, daddy. She said Kay's sick. You don't look sick, just...dirty. Were you crying?”
I laugh and turn my back. “I'm not sick, and if you want to ride today, we'll ride.” I don't want to ride today. I need a shower and to go see Chase.
“Actually, Annie. I need some help with the chicks so that's perfect. You can ride tomorrow. I think you're better than Kay anyway.” He grins and nudges her, making her giggle.
“You are a pro.” I grin at her. “Thanks, Brandt.” I softly smile before he walks out.
After putting away the saddle, I head home. While in the shower I cry, letting it all out. The sobs, the tears, mucus, I just let it out because it feels good. I need to let things out. Everything is not awesome and amazing. Everything is not A-OK. Sometimes things suck and I want to cry about it and scream and throw a fit. And it feels good to do it.
While toweling off my hair, I get an idea. Tyler and Brandt had been going on about the Kenshaw Ranch brand and Brandt thinks me and Tyler should get the tattoos to become a part of the ranch. It's our home. I threatened Brandt with leaving, but I won't. I love it here too much, and I never want to leave. This ranch is what makes me excited to wake up every morning. This tattoo will be the first permanent marking I've wanted that didn't label me as having a mental illness. My tattoos on my back are beautiful, but I was tattooing those as an okay for having depression. I know it's okay, and I may discover I have it, but I'll fight it taking away all my happiness.
I grab my phone and log onto Disposable Ink's website, selecting 'Make an appointment online'. I'm getting my Kenshaw Ranch tattoo, and going to talk to the guy I love so much it hurts.
I lift my shaking hand to pull the door open and wonder if this is another side effect from being off the pills, but my hammering heart tells me it's another side effect of a broken heart. The door doesn't ding and I glance up to where the bells used to be and see the chain has been snapped. The place is empty but I head up to the counter, hoping I'll see him down the hall. The bells that used to hang are now in the trash behind the counter.
“Hello?” I softly call out then I hear his voice down the hall and pins tingle through my body.
“Who the fuck thought this app was a mother fucking good idea?” His voice booms down the hall. “You! You fucking did!”
“It's bringing people in, isn't it?” another guy's voice travels but not as loudly and I think that's Tommy.
“Fucking idiots though! Not people who want talent or anything worthwhile! Fuck, this place is annoying. I'm ready to fuckin' start over. This small goddamned town is shit!” Something slams and I hear the other guy clear his throat.
“I'm going back out front. Call me if you need me.”
Tommy heads down the hall and our eyes lock. I push a smile on my face and start braiding my hair. “Hi.” I chuckle. “I'm the fucking idiot that made the online appointment.” My cheeks are hot right now and I've never felt this nervous, because I've never fought for what I'm here to fight for. I've never fought for anything.
He nods, approaching me. “Wow,” he says, then lets out a laugh. “You sure you want to be here right now?” He glances down the hall. “He's bein' a fucking psycho this week.” He hits me with his gaze and lifts his eyebrows. “For good reason, I guess.”
I smile. “He hasn't been able to resist my smile yet. Always cheers him up.” Chuckling, I swipe my hair behind my ear. “And I want my tattoo. It's important.”
“Ain't gonna cheer him up today, Kaydence. I can promise you that. Whatever it is, I'll fucking do it. Just leave him be.”
“No.” I clear my throat and stand up straight. “No offense, Tommy, I want Chase to tattoo me. He did my other tattoo and...he's my tattoo artist. I want him.” I meet his gaze that's glaring at me with a cocked eyebrow.
“He's not gonna do it, Kaydence,” he finally says, too soft for his voice to travel down the hall. “You sure you want me to call him out here? You really think that's smart?”
My brows pull together and my fingers curl into a fist. “You're wasting my time,” I snap then round the counter and step into the mouth of the hallway. “Chase?” I yell. “I'm the fucking idiot that needs a tattoo that's not worth your while! Can you come out here and do your job please?” I throw a glance back at Tommy who's staring at me with his arms crossed.
He heads for his station, leaving the door open. I watch down the hall and when Chase steps into my view he looks tired, unshaven, in a wrinkled shirt.
“What are you doing here, Kay?” he says, his voice rough.
“I said I'm the appointment. I made the online appointment. This is a tattoo parlor, isn't it?” I gesture around me. “I want a tattoo. You're my tattoo artist.”
“I'm your ex-boyfriend,” he says, stepping toward me slowly. “I think it may be time for you to find a new tattoo artist.”
My brows pull up my forehead and I clench my fists. “Fine. Tommy!” I yell, my glare not leaving Chase. “I need a fucking tattoo!”
Tommy appears in my peripheral and Chase's eyes narrow at me.
“I'm not getting in the middle of this, guys,” Tommy says before retreating back to his room.
“He's not inking you,” Chase growls. “Let's go. Get this over with.”
He storms to his room, not waiting for me to follow. The thought he might intentionally hurt me flits to my head but dissolves within seconds. He would never do that to me. I know Chase and he would never do that to me.
I reach into my purse and pull out the image of the Kenshaw Ranch brand and I hold it out, trying to steady my shaking hand. This started off badly, it needs to end how I planned it in my head. After he wipes down his chair and pulls out the needle and machine, he turns toward me and nods to the paper in my hands.
“Give it here.” He holds out his hand.
I place the folded paper into his fingers and see him scowl at my shaking hand. Quickly pulling it away, I push my hands into my pockets and stare at him.
“Chase, I miss—” I start but he cuts me off when he opens the paper.
“Is this a mother fucking joke?” His voice booms, then a hard laugh comes out. “Kaydence, you can't be as stupid as they said you were.” His eyes fly to mine.
“What?” I furrow my brows. “What's the problem? Who said I was stupid?”
His eyebrows rise. “Um, your fucking brother. And cousin. How the fuck are you so naive?” He tosses the paper on the chair. “I'm not fuckin' doing that. The Kenshaws can suck my fuckin' cock.”
“I'm a Kenshaw,” I mutter, the pain in my chest making me want to break down.
“Exactly.” He crosses his arms in front of him. “I refuse to do that fucking tattoo.” He nods toward the door. “Tommy!” He looks back at me. “He'll do it. He has no morals.”
“Chase, I want you to do my tattoo,” I insist.
He clenches his teeth and takes a few deep breaths. “I'm not doing it, Kay,” he weakly says then shakes his head. “I...I gotta go.” He pushes past me and storms out of the room.
“Chase.” I turn to follow him but bump into Tommy, he grabs me from going after Chase.
“You gotta let him cool off, Kaydence,” he says, watching Chase leave through the front door. “He's gotta get over this. It's way too fucking soon. I don't even know what you're thinking walking back in here today, but he's not ready for this. To just be your friend.”
I shove him away from me so I can move. “I came to talk to him, Tommy!” I bark. “I didn't only come for the tattoo. I wanted to talk. I screwed up. He screwed up. We both screwed up! I came to talk to him about it. I don't want to be his friend! Not like that! I want my boyfriend back!” I rub my forehead, trying to calm down before I lose it and hit Tommy for no reason.
Tommy nods, shoving his hands in his pockets. “Well, this is awkward,” he finally says, then laughs. “So you still want the tattoo?”
I chuckle and shake my head. I was supposed to get the tattoo and my boyfriend back. I might as well get one thing I came for. A tattoo that for once doesn't represent something I'm scared of.
“Yes. I want the tattoo,” I mutter and turn back for my picture.