Chapter 5

Joey

“Not a chance,” Andi says as she pushes yet another guy away from her.

“That one was actually good-looking,” I tease as my hips shake to the music.

“Doesn’t matter.” She raises her arms over her head as the bass of the song increases. “I only have eyes for Jon.”

Chuckling, I shake my head at her insistence. She’s had a thing for my twin since the first day she met him freshman year at Rice.

“I think you’re missing out on that one,” I warn as I, too, shrug off another woman trying to make me the male cream in a hot girl sandwich.

“Does he have jet black hair?”

“Nope,” I answer already knowing where this is going.

“Sky blue eyes?”

“I think they were brown.”

“An amazing body, including that sexy happy-trail leading down to what has to be the most glorious cock ever created?”

“He was wearing clothes.” I swipe at the sweat threatening to run down my temples with the backs of my hands. “Also, gross. We’ve talked about this before. Leave the sex talk about Jon to your own twisted fantasies.”

The song changes, the faster-paced hip-hop transitioning into a very slow Chris Cagle song. Only in Texas, right? With practice garnered from years of being friends, Andi and I move together, full-on slow dancing style.

“Keep doubting me, best friend, and I won’t let you be my matron of honor.”

“Man of honor,” I correct before laying my head on her shoulder and using it to swipe at the sweat before pulling away. “The matron of honor is supposed to be married, I think. Not to mention a woman.”

“Let’s not argue semantics when I know you really want to talk about Dave’s new friend.”

Is this chick a mind reader?

“What’s to talk about?” I avoid her eyes, studiously looking over the crowd, grateful that my back is currently facing him. “He’s just another guy who isn’t going to bring beer to the BBQ.”

“He doesn’t have mustard stains on his shirt,” Andi teases.

I noticed that, too.

“Which means he’s not a slob like Dave,” she continues. “He works with Dave, so he has to be in the business.”

The same as you is implied, and boy do I know just how in the business he is. I don’t bother mentioning that the guy Dave brought with him tonight is the very same guy I was gushing over at three this morning. Him being here complicates things in the most delicious way.

Dave opted to climb the corporate ladder at GMQ Architects which is in South Houston, whereas I telecommute and get paid to stay in sweats all day. Not much room for advancement, but…sweats.

“Employment is awesome,” I tease. “How is work going?”

Andi minored in my brother our senior year and didn’t graduate. Four years later she’s still putting off her final semester.

“I manage a coffee shop,” she huffs. “Work is the same every day. I show up, scramble to get shifts covered because teens don’t have a fucking work ethic and call in constantly, then I go home smelling like sugar and bitter coffee.”

I give her neck an exaggerated sniff. “The perfect combination.”

“Stop,” she laughs, stepping out of my arms as the music switches once again. “Why are you fighting this conversation so hard? You always have an opinion on the new guy in the group.”

I shrug, but I don’t know if she can distinguish the action from my dance moves.

“Fuck it’s hot in here tonight,” I complain. Andi, normally in a playful mood stares back at me, forcing me to answer her. “He’s cute I guess.”

Her face falls even farther. “Cooper is cute, in an I-feel-like-a-pedophile-for-even-saying-that sort of way. Anthony? He’s beyond cute. The man is a God.”

She grabs my arm and shifts me so her back is toward the guys, and I’m forced to look at them.

“He doesn’t look that young,” I say avoiding the conversation about Anthony just to annoy her further at this point.

“He got ID’d buying scratch offs on the way over here.”

A laugh bubbles from my throat.

Poor guy. Cooper is twenty-four but honestly doesn’t look a day over seventeen. I’m certain his youthful appearance will help him in years to come when us other guys are worried about our nuts sagging and gray hairs popping up at our temples.

I’m fanning my face because of the heat by this point. The cooler air hitting my face is a welcome relief, but as always the self-directed air comes at a cost. The dance floor at The Tiki Tavern is always crowded with the after-work crowd. Unfortunately, work for many of the patrons is blue collar. Body odor is no stranger in this crowd, but it seems worse tonight than usual.

“I can’t take the smell anymore.”

The devious smirk on Andi’s face is familiar. “We’re not leaving until we talk about the hottie.”

“There’s nothing to talk about. He’s just another straight guy joining the group.”

“Never stopped you before,” she insists.

My body, a puppet to her insistence, continues to move. Standing still on an active dance floor is sacrilegious.

“Damn you and your no dancing alone pact.” Her smile grows bigger.

Watching the three familiar guys, my eyes focus on the newest addition. I could lay it all out right now. I could confess to the wicked kiss Anthony and I shared last night. I could tell her just how hot for him I was when I gripped his cock, how I could feel the heat of his thick length even through his jeans, but I don’t. What I can give her is exactly what she wants to hear.

“He’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.” She gives me a knowing smile, being the mind reader that she is. “But it doesn’t matter. He’s straight, and now he’s Jon’s friend. No sleeping with twin friends. That’s the rule.”

And one you’ve known since you voiced your very graphic opinion of my brother the day you met him.

I hate lying to her. The lie of omission by refusing to tell her about last night is minimal compared to the truth I saw in his eyes when he first noticed me sitting there. He was confused, shocked, and terrified that I’d speak up and reveal something he clearly isn’t ready to share with the world. Yanking his, or any other person’s closet door open before they’re ready is something that I’d never do.

“But,” she says with a finger held in the air, “if you and Gorgeous hook-up, then Jon has no grounds for rejecting me.”

“I don’t break the rule, and Jon won’t either. No grooming the straight guy.” I grab her hand and pull her toward the guys. “Now, let’s go. It’s starting to smell like onions out here.”

My brother is holding out a fresh drink for both of us.

“Thanks, bro.”

“Thank Anthony. This round is on him.”

I grin around the rim of my drink. “Whose idea was it to make the new guy tell Emily that he needed Sex on My Face?”

God, the images those words conjure.

“We’re vetting him,” Dave answers as Anthony holds up his beer in salute when I mouth a thank you to him. “But I’ve always wanted to taste one.”

I shove Dave away with my free hand. “You know the rules.”

“More rules?” Anthony smiles wide. “I feel like it’ll take a lifetime before I learn them all.”

My eyes shine; his stay on my lips as they caress the rim of the glass for another satisfying drink. The bob of his throat as he swallows is an added bonus.

Maybe not as in the closet as I thought.

“If you want a chick drink, you have to order it yourself,” Andi explains just before tilting her glass up and emptying it down her throat.

His eyes never leave my lips, causing my nose to twitch at the attention. I’m putty in his fucking hands when his tongue sweeps over the curve of his bottom lip. It’s my turn to swallow.

“So much for the rule,” Andi whispers in my ear.

Coughing, the Southern Comfort in the drink hitting the wrong spot in my throat, I reluctantly pull my eyes from his. I keep them focused on anywhere but him as the night continues. Several drinks and one more attempt to fight the stench on the dance floor later, Jon calls it a night. My guess is he’s landed his sights on a girl he hopes to entertain once us girls are cleared out.

Giggling, I watch as Cooper flirts with a chick near the restroom.

“A little help?” my brother asks as Andi shamelessly leans on him.

“Sure man.”

Anthony reaches for Andi as he stands from the bar stool.

“Help Joey,” my brother clarifies, tossing his head in my direction. “I’ve got this one.”

My best friend is in heaven right now, and it makes me wonder if she gets wasted just so Jon touches her on the way to the cab.

“I don’t need any help.” If he puts his hands on me, I’m not responsible for my actions. When I stand, however, the room tilts, and I’m forced to grab the edge of the table. “Really, Joey?”

A chuckle bubbles from my throat as Anthony stares at me, humored that I chastised myself.

“We better catch up,” he urges as he wraps an arm around my back.

I realize he probably looks like a good guy for helping a drunk friend out of the bar, so I maintain some distance even when I want to pull him close and nuzzle my nose along his throat.

Being directed, I keep my eyes focused on my brother’s back as he all but carries Andi toward the exit.

“Jesus,” I hiss on a deep inhale. “You don’t smell like onions at all.”

“Umm.” He laughs. “Thanks?”

“Did I say that out loud?”

Kill me now.

“You all but screamed it.”

My life is over. No wonder I can’t catch a guy. *Note to self: Add sloppy drunk to Grindr bio.

“What I mean,” I begin as I still my feet and turn to look up at him. I shake my head, trying to clear it to allow cognizant thought in. “I mean you smell like my next big mistake.”

Nailed it.

Flirting level: Expert

Okay…

So flirting level: Novice. I can’t take credit for that line since I heard Cooper use it last week. The chick slapped his face but ended up in his cab anyways. I see that as a win.

His words are lost as he urges me forward again.

Did he say something about me never being a mistake?

“Here we go.” He pushes the heavy door to the bar open with one hand, never losing his stronghold around my back.

Foot catching on the threshold, not unlike every other time I’ve left this place, my hand ends up on his stomach.

“Wow,” I breathe, fingers making a sloppy attempt to read the dips and ripples like a blind person reads Braille. “I hate that I’m not going to remember those in the morning.”

I could easily add them to my spank bank right along with the kiss from last night, but once again the Jameson in my drink is going to be an asshole and put a huge black hole right in the middle of my night.

“Me t—”

“Best friend!” Andi screams through the open window of the cab.

Way to cockblock there bestie.

Off limits, my drunken mind reminds me.

“Pfft,” I tell that ridiculous voice.

“You’ll have to bend in the middle, so you don’t hit your head.”

“I’m very flexible, Tony.”

“Good one!” Andi yells from inside of the cab as my new boyfriend urges me to sit down.

“It’s Anthony,” he corrects as he helps to lower me onto the seat.

Teeth sunk into my bottom lip, my go-to sexy move (thank you, Ana Steele), I misjudge the distance between my ass and the seat and flop inside the cab like a drunken baby giraffe.

“I need the emergency room!” I yell when my incisor cuts into the flesh of my bottom lip.

“Dumb ass,” Andi giggles. “It’s barely bleeding you baby.”

I thought things weren’t supposed to hurt when you’re wasted.

“I imagine it’ll hurt more in the morning,” my escort says with a kind voice.

“Do you have a handkerchief?” My eyes plead with Anthony’s.

He shakes his head no and points at my lap. “Your umm.”

I should be horrified by the way I’m half lying on Andi, but the Sex on My Face was made strong tonight. My zipper is down, probably since I went to piss earlier tonight and my erection is straining against the tight fabric of my boxers.

Waggling my eyebrows, at least that’s what it feels like my face is doing, I say, “Nice, right?”

“It was nice to meet you, Jon’s brother.”

My eyes narrow at his moniker as his closet door once again slams shut right in my damn face. If he has no interest in telling people we know each other, I’m not going to bother with the information either.

Andi says, “Burn.”

And the cabbie holds a tissue over the back of the seat, insisting that I “don’t get blood on his seat.”

All at the same time.

By the time my brain can process the information overload, the door to the cab is closed, and my new boyfriend is gone.