TWENTY-ONE
During Vaxa’s absence, Kate did everything in her power to distract herself.
She roamed the house, walking from one room to the next. She dusted black sand residue that had blown in with the wind off shelving units and swept the floor with an old rag she’d found. She straightened the furs on their bed, smoothing out every last wrinkle. She fiddled with the silver screen on the wall, trying to figure out how it worked, and smiled to herself when she actually managed to order food. A Luxirian had shown up on her doorstep to deliver the plate of trixava and the strange purple fruit she liked…and he’d seemed quite perplexed to find her there alone. But he’d inclined his head on the way out and said, “Lavrix’an.”
Bidan came by briefly and she’d been happy to see his familiar face. But once she’d reassured him that she’d eaten, he left her at her own request, showing her how to contact him on the silver screen just in case she required his help.
Eventually, once she’d cleaned and bathed again and eaten, she had to sit still and be honest with herself. She had to go over every word that Vaxa had said to her. She had to ask herself if she wanted to return to Earth, if she wanted to go back home to Chicago and to her job and to her best friend, Beks. She had to ask herself if she could leave Luxiria and Vaxa behind or if she would regret it forever.
Sitting in the living room, with her back to one of the cushions, she sighed, staring at the crystal, turning it over in her hands, learning every smooth side of it. It was a simple question. Did she want to stay? Or did she want to leave?
Logic told her what the right decision would be.
But her heart went in the opposite direction. She imagined telling Vaxa that she wanted to go. His face would turn into stone and he would do that Luxirian nod because it was the honorable thing to do. She would be able to feel the turmoil inside him because his blood ran through her veins.
If she told him she wanted to go, she would never see him again. The finality of their time together was certain. He would do as she wished. He would do whatever she wished, she realized, anything she wanted.
Pain seared through her, pricking her eyes. Saying goodbye to him, when she was in the midst of falling in love with him…everything in her rebelled at the thought.
And she realized that she had her answer.
Yes, he had lied to her and it was a real shitty thing to do. But she could understand why he’d done it. Looking back to just a short time ago, her only desire had been to get home. Of course, that would have been her natural reaction! Had Vaxa not gotten her to agree to that deal, she would’ve never given him a chance, given them a chance. Because she’d very much started to think about them as a them.
Through the window facing the terrace, she saw that the suns were beginning their descent. Vaxa would be returning soon—at least she hoped he would be—and she was anxious to see him, to tell him that she wanted to stay, to explore where this would lead.
Kate smiled, looking down at the crystal before pushing to her feet. She approached the column Vaxa had taken it from and she slowly pushed it back into place, watching it bob up and down for a brief moment before settling into a steady float.
She turned her gaze to the door. Now, if only her mate would return.
* * *
It was dark when Vaxa’an landed the hovercraft before his dwelling. He hissed out a steady breath, preparing himself. Luxirians rarely felt nervous, but his heart was heavy with dread. He wanted to rush inside to hear his luxiva’s decision, but he also wanted to stay out on the terrace all night, so that he would not have to face the inevitable.
But he was a Luxirian warrior. He would be strong and he would honor her decision, just like he’d been trained to do. Strength and honor and discipline…those values had been hammered into his skull.
When he entered the dwelling, he did not see Kat, even though the center hub was ablaze with light. Slowly, he strode towards their quarters, but something caught his eye. It was the crystal, back in its rightful place. Something unfurled in his chest, but he didn’t dare hope, not until he spoke with his mate.
His pace quickened, sensing her presence. She was not in their quarters, but then he heard the trickling sound of water and he veered towards the bathing pool.
Warmth spread through his limbs at the sight of her. She was sitting at the edge of the pool, her back to him, with her feet dangling in the water.
Kat heard him approach and she stood suddenly, turning to face him. Her little feet were wet and made a puddle on the floor but her face softened at the sight of him.
“Hi,” she said and Vaxa’an felt the surge of affection through her veins. Slowly, she stepped towards him and when she was just inches away, she touched his chest with both of her hands, sliding them up until they wrapped around his neck. She pulled him down for a kiss and he immediately pulled her closer, breathing in her scent, feeling his body respond.
When she pulled back, Kat looked up at him, biting her lip, and then said, softly, “I don’t like that you lied to me, Vaxa.”
Shame swarmed him. “I know, luxiva.”
She sighed. “But I do understand why you did it.” Vaxa’an said nothing, waiting for her to continue, his blood pumping. “And I forgive you for it, but I don’t want you to lie to me again.”
Vaxa’an swallowed hard, hope making his chest expand. “I will not, luxiva.”
“I—I missed you today,” she murmured, her tone bordering on shy. “I’ve had a lot floating around in my head today but that’s the only thing that I knew was undeniably true. I missed you. And I want to tell you that, even though I think it might be a little crazy, that I might be a little crazy,” she said, shaking her head, “that I think it’s possible you were meant to find me and that I was meant to be here. I mean, how else can we explain the fact that I’m here with you now and that your…your Instinct led you to me? And how else can I explain that feeling when we first reached the rah-vrax-tour, like your Fates were real and that they were there with us. In some crazy, cosmic way, I’ve been thinking that maybe we were brought together for a reason.”
“We were, luxiva,” he rasped, grasping her by the shoulders, running his palms down her arms, and circling her wrists. “We were. I have felt it since I first saw you and I had only hoped that you would feel it in time.”
“I do,” she whispered. “And it scares the shit out of me. Everything about this place, about Luxiria, about you scares the shit out of me. But in a good way.”
Vaxa’an frowned. “I will never hurt you, luxiva. There is no need for you to be scared.”
She smiled, a little laugh escaping her. “It’s an expression, Vaxa. It’s a good scared, I promise.”
There were some things about her language that he feared he would never understand but he let it go. Instead, he ventured with, “The crystal is back on the column.”
Kat swiped her tongue out to wet her lips and then nodded. “Yes,” she whispered. “I put it back once I realized that I couldn’t imagine saying goodbye to you. And I realized that that was my answer.”
A breath hissed out of him and his grip tightened, needing her to say the words. “You will stay with me?”
Kat smiled, bringing his hand up to kiss his scarred knuckles. “Yes, I will stay with you, Vaxa.”
His need for her grew to an intensity that he could hardly bear as every single thread of tension released from his body. When he lifted her off the ground, she gasped. He could not wait another second to be inside his mate, so he ripped at his coverings and then dragged the tunic she still wore from this morning up her thighs.
“Oh,” she breathed when he surged inside. “L-Luxirians love sex, don’t they?”
“You have not realized that by now, mate?” he growled, nipping her neck. “Matings connect us in a way that words sometimes cannot.”
Happiness welled inside him, a feeling that had been a rarity in his life until his Kat had appeared, a gift from the Fates.
“Vaxa, one more thing,” she breathed, her eyes finding his. Her voice went soft and she whispered, “I…I’m falling in love with you. I wanted you to know that.”
Vaxa’an touched his forehead with hers, reaching out with the fellixix so he could feel her more intimately. In a gruff voice, he rasped, “Perhaps words can be better than matings.”
Kate smiled through a soft moan and then he leaned forward to capture her lips, tasting her words, pulling them deep inside him.
And even though neither of them spoke after that, Vaxa’an showed his female exactly how he felt in return.