I stare at the ceiling, not really seeing anything. What am I doing? Is this really where I want to be? Is it really worth all this drama?

I am so not a drama queen. I avoid it if at all possible. It was easy to stay out of the fray earlier in the game, but that’s apparently no longer an option. Because I’m right smack in the center of it.

I can’t believe Tristan and Madden almost came to blows over me like that. I don’t like it at all.

My door swings open, and I don’t even look over. I know it’s Maya because my door is locked and she’s the only one with a key.

“Come with me,” she says brusquely, grabbing my hand.

I just lie there, not sure I want to do this right now.

“Seriously, Megan, we need to talk.”

She says it so low I can barely hear her. Sighing loudly, I push myself to sitting and look at her. “I don’t want to.”

Maya shakes her head and hauls me up. How can someone that tiny be so strong? But then she’s pulling me behind her into the bathroom, shutting the door behind us, and now I have no choice but to listen to her.

I cross my arms. “What?”

She comes to me and rubs her hands up and down my upper arms. “Are you okay? How are you doing? Hanging in there?” She looks truly concerned.

“Maya,” I begin, then sigh and shrug. “I don’t know if I can keep this up. I’m having serious doubts.”

She looks at me like I’m crazy. “Doubts about what? The show?”

I look around, feeling helpless. “Everything. It’s so much harder than I thought it would be. What happened on the plane today…that was insane. I never expected that. It’s like being in this house is making us all act crazy.”

Maya purses her lips, and I know what she’s thinking. That’s kind of the point.

“Look,” she says, slinging an arm around my shoulders and squeezing, “you need to make sure that this isn’t just the lust getting the better of you. Yesterday was pretty nuts, too. I mean, two super-romantic dates with two sexy billionaires, both of who you experienced things with that you probably haven’t before. It’s bound to do a number on you.”

Is that what it is? I’m not sure. I think it’s more. That my developing feelings for Tristan and Madden, feelings that feel pretty fucking real in spite of this being an orchestrated reality show, are a bigger part of the problem. I think I’m really doubting that I’m going to get out of this without losing something. Like my heart. That is so not part of the plan.

Apartment? Yes.

Prize money? Yes.

Love? Hell no.

“Listen,” Maya continues, her voice going even lower, “I want to see you win. And it’s not just me, either. The whole world wants to see you win, Megan. The ratings are climbing with every episode that airs.”

Great. Now even more people will get to see how crazy this thing is.

Maya looks me in the eye. “Don’t forget, this is a game. That’s all it is, Megan. A game. With a life-changing prize waiting for you at the end if you can just get through the next few days. And also, don’t forget, you aren’t the only one playing this game. Madden and Tristan are playing, too.”

I nod, ready to be alone again, but even after she leaves, her words echo in my head.

Madden and Tristan are playing.

What does that mean? Are they playing me? I thought so at first. And maybe that’s why I’m really upset now. Because the things they said sounded an awful lot like I was just some thing. A prize. Not an actual person they care about. And that’s a problem because I do care about them.

But that doesn’t feel right, either. Could they really have both faked everything yesterday so well? My gut says no.

So what are they playing then? Why did they do that? Is it because they actually do care and are each trying anything they can to get me to choose one over the other?

If so, it doesn’t really help. Because I don’t want to choose. Some part of me wishes—as impossible as it is—that I could have them both.

But that’s ridiculous. I just have to remember what Maya said. It’s all just a game. Too bad my heart is telling me differently.