Being closer to the source of my obsession will only make it worse.

I knew, when I opened my mouth to say I’d be working from home, that was the case, but I couldn’t stop myself from saying it. Normally, I look forward to going to the office. Staying home makes me feel uneasy. Finding things to tell Wilson makes me feel uneasy, filling the silence makes me feel uneasy.

But here I am, and I’m not entirely sure why.

I told her to stay away from the downstairs area near my office. I can’t exactly work if the baby is crying. Ah, screw the baby. I can’t work knowing that Penelope is wandering around, swaying that sweet ass and sending me the softest, slightest of fragrances. Probably undetectable to most, but for me, it’s like blood to a shark. Still, I can’t afford that douche-y Robert guy coming around here.

If he danced in his underwear for her when he was a kid, what would he do now for her attention?

That’s how it starts, conversation on the steps. Smiles. Before you know it, she’s inviting him in when I’m not here, and no way, I can’t have that. Why can’t I have it? Because I don’t want guys I don’t know around Lilly Belle? Because I don’t want my nanny to have a social life, or because I want her all to myself?

“Looks like the young lady has been banished from the west wing.” It’s Wilson standing at the doorway to my office, folded newspaper under his arm.

“Banished? Wilson, you know as well as I do that I can’t have any distractions while I’m working. It’s a big enough house. Don’t give me that shit.”

He ignores my cussing, the way he always has. “You don’t want them near you,” he says in that tone. That all-knowing fatherly tone I hate. Love. Hate. “However, you can’t act like a beast in your own castle either, demanding that the princesses remain locked and out of your sight. They’re free individuals.”

“Yes. Yes, I can, Wilson, and that’s what I’m going to do. It’s my house.”

“Oh,” he says, eyes wide with mock surprise. “I forgot. Your house.” Then, he walks off silently, leaving me in a swirling mist of my own thoughts. I hate when Wilson does that—talks to me like I’m a moron. I wish he’d go bother someone else. Then, I remember…I’d have no one if he did.

* * *

After a few days, I’m working in my office, going over numbers when I hear the refrigerator door open nearby. “Wilson?” I call out. I could use a tall glass of cold water.

A gurgly goo-goo sound is my only reply. Knowing that most babies cannot come down the stairs and open refrigerator doors at nearly eight months, I wait for Penelope to explain why she’s down here. “It’s me, Mr. Townsend.”

“Lurking around, breaking rules, are we?” I step out of my office and stand in the kitchen doorway. She’s wearing pink leggings with clouds on them, her hair up in a messy ponytail, looking as adorable as ever. The leggings are a mistake. They outline every curve on her lower body, her toned calves, and that ass I can’t get out of my head. Now I know I won’t be finishing my work for today, and that pisses me off. The baby sits in a bouncy chair with a wire frame on top of the counter.

“I’m sorry. Lilly Belle needed a snack, and we’re out upstairs. I should’ve asked Wilson to get me some before he left. Sorry.”

The baby stops bouncing in her chair to examine me. I feel awkward that she doesn’t know me very well, even though that’s entirely my fault.

“I’m sure I asked you to keep the baby upstairs while I’m working, didn’t I?” I say, unrelenting.

Closing a drawer shut, Penelope lets out a frustrated sigh. “You can’t keep a baby locked away, Mr. Townsend. And it’s Lilly Belle. You should try saying her name. She’s your niece. She was hungry, so I’m looking for the baby crackers.”

“Are babies supposed to eat crackers at this age?”

“Yes, Mr. Townsend. They’re not super crunchy or anything. They dissolve on the tongue and are perfectly safe.” She continues to rummage through the cabinets while Lilly Belle continues to stare at me like I’m the beast Wilson said I was.

I walk up to Penelope and peer into the cabinets with her. I know what crackers she’s talking about. They’re inside of a gallon zipped bag in the back row. So close to her, I smell her scent wafting off her skin. It’s an earthy, feminine scent, way better than all that fake shit women put on. Suddenly, my blood races through my body. I’m immediately hard.

Slowly, she backs up, aware that we’re so close. I can almost hear her heart beating through her skin and shirt. Her hazel eyes flash at me, with flecks of gold, as she holds her breath. I reach in and pull out the zipped bag. “Is this what you’re looking for?” I hold it near her chest.

If the baby weren’t here, I might throw her against the counter and suck her tits before fucking her hard.

Clutching the bag close, she nods without a word, staring at me as though she’s heard my thoughts.

“Ah, the sassy one has lost all ability to talk back. Maybe I should stand close to you more often.” I arch an eyebrow and then move over to Lilly Belle, shoving my hands in my pockets and staring at her. She’s actually a really pretty baby. My sister and her husband did good.

“You can, um…” Penelope clears her throat. “You can pick her up, you know.”

“I can see her from here.”

“She’s not going to bite you.” Penelope laughs, reaching into the box and pulling out an octagon shaped pale wafer that looks like it would taste awful and stale. “In fact, why don’t you give it to her?”

I know it’s all innocuous. Giving a baby a cracker isn’t going to bond us everlastingly. But for some reason, I hesitate. Penelope stares at me with the softest of smiles on her face. The baby stares at me, too, like give me the damn cracker already. I know I said they needed to keep their distance, and they do, but I don’t want Penelope to think that I’m completely heartless. I want her to know that I’m sensible, practical, that it’s not a good idea to form bonds that will only be broken later on, but for some reason, I want to see her smile right now.

Taking the cracker, I hand it to Lilly Belle who slowly reaches out, big blue eyes fixated on my face, and snatches it out of my hand. Except she doesn’t eat it right away. She stares at me and gurgles. “Look at her. She likes you,” Penelope laughs. “Pick her up, Mr. Townsend. You’ll see she’s really yummy.”

I’ve never picked up a baby in my life. From the moment Lilly Belle arrived here, I’ve had someone, whether Wilson or the cleaning lady, Luz, or one of the fired nannies to hold her. I’ve treated her like a nuclear explosive.

But I do know how to compartmentalize. I know how to keep feelings separate from affecting my everyday life. I’m a professional.

I can do this.

Suddenly, Lilly Belle throws the cracker on the floor and cries out, laughing and giggling and acting totally loopy.

“Why did she do that?” I ask. I’m not used to anyone rejecting my gifts, even if the gift is a bland cracker.

Penelope laughs hard. She loves seeing me confused and befuddled by the tiny troll. “She must have the midnight crazies. Plus, I think she’s just surprised that you’re here, looking at her…” She shifts to pick up the cracker, eyes pausing on me, as she slowly makes her way back up.

The filthy areas of my mind imagine her doing numerous things in that position. Not with the baby present, of course, but my body wants what it wants, and suddenly, the hardness is back, as I imagine her on her knees, bent over. That door better be locked tonight if I decide to go check on it.

The baby’s coos bring me back front and center, and my hard cock melts away. Now I’m looking at my niece pumping her arms and legs like an energetic doll.

“Oh, yeah. She’s definitely smitten with you. You should pick her up.”

“Some other time,” I say, reaching out to hold the baby’s little hand instead. Look at those fingers. So little. So chubby. Wrapped around my finger which looks so big next to hers. I wish I could hold her, but I can’t. This is already too much as it is.

“How did you get so good at caring for kids? I mean, you’re practically a kid yourself,” I ask.

She scoffs through a smile. “I’m twenty-two next month. And it’s because I have younger siblings. I always had to take care of them to help my mom out. I guess I’m used to it.”

“Like second nature.” I continue to shake Lilly Belle’s little fist. She’s enthralled and watching me intently. I don’t feel as uncomfortable with her stares anymore. I feel like she might actually like me, as Penelope says.

“Yes.” Penelope comes over and reaches to take Lilly Belle’s other hand. Now we’ve formed a chain and all we would need is for me to take Penelope’s hand and form a circle. “You know, Wilson was right. There are more sides to you.”

“Wilson is an old fool,” I say, thinking how I’m going to break his kneecaps for talking nicely about me. “You can’t trust him.”

Then, suddenly remembering where I am, where we are, how these two strangers shouldn’t even be in my life at all right now, I drop the baby’s hand and step away. They shouldn’t be down here. I shouldn’t be here. I should be working, making sure our numbers align and approving new sales campaigns for next month.

Penelope studies me. I know she must think the worst, and part of me wants so badly to show her that I’m not that way all the time. I can be lots of things—funny, clever—all the things nobody associates Townsend Industries with being, all the things my employees and competitors don’t know about me, but it makes no sense to try and impress the nanny. What is so special about this girl that I feel the need for her to like me? It shouldn’t matter. It doesn’t matter.

Nor does it align with who I am and it needs to stop now.

That’s why I wanted them upstairs, out of my sight.

At that moment, the doorbell rings. It’s late. Who the hell would be calling at this hour?