The bed shakes back and forth, and all I can hear are the sounds of my own muted sighs between pillow sheets. It’s so hot. My body is sweating, it’s burning up.

I exhale deeply and inhale, feeling a bit woozy.

I ignored Byron all night long, even when his texts became crude and downright mad. But right after I texted him the truth, that I quietly orgasmed after he spanked me.

Shame caught up with me. I wish I could lie and say it was an erotic, accidental dream. It was his fault, it was his manipulation.

But no, I touched myself for three hours, just thinking of him. Spanking me more. Pulling my skirt down, even my panties, and spanking me. It was the hardest I’ve ever…well…obviously.

But I can’t tell another living soul this. I can’t admit how far my curiosity is taking me. Physically and mentally. I should have scolded him. I should have sued him or had him arrested.

But I didn’t. I just stared into his eyes, telling him, in so many words…

I don’t know how I feel. I don’t know if I want you to stop.

I don’t know if I want you to go away or if I want you to fuck my brains out. I don’t know, Byron.

But damn, I couldn’t tell him any of that in a text message. I didn’t even answer him when he gave me the opportunity to dump him once and for all.

Instead of texting him, GO AWAY. I just rubbed my labia lips, over and over again, thinking of what dirty things he would do to me, if I just gave him the go ahead.

What’s wrong with him? Lots. What’s wrong with me? Even more shit.

I’ve avoided Byron for several hours now, but I owe him something. A word, a sentence, an angry face…something! But what?

Part me of wants to scream at him, I admit. I don’t really know if I’m feeling so hostile at him because he’s so overbearing or if it’s just that I’m afraid of him, of this, of all of it.

---

I have nothing to say to you.

I am going to be at Barnes and Noble tomorrow. I really need to buy a book about relationships and try to interpret the strange behavior of men.

---

I don’t know why I told him where I was going to be. Maybe because I figured, he would just stalk me anyway and find out one way or another. At the back of my mind, maybe I even figured we would talk this thing out.

But now that I’m here, and as I see him approaching me from the entrance, an uncontrollable excitement is building in my gut. I half-smile at him but as he comes closer, I can barely look at him straight. I look down, I start looking at the shelves. For once, terrified at what I’m going to say. But why?

He walks up to me and smiles. I smile back, feeling that same glow, that same peaceful feeling I had at the Christmas party. But this time, it feels like a stronger pull.

“I wanted to talk to you…” I mutter, but not sounding as convincing as I should be for all that’s happened.

“Uh huh?” he says, still gazing into my eyes, alert to my every thought.

“You never responded last night,” he says, looking deeply into my eyes. My lips, daring me, taunting me with sexual tension. “Until you said you came. Does that mean you liked it?”

I look at him in resentment, a smiling resentment. He knows. He tempts me even more, wearing dark pants, and a long-sleeve grey Henley shirt—just a size too tight, which emphasizes his firm muscles pushing through the material.

I look at his hand as he boldly puts it on my forearm, grazing my skin, and pushing his grip up to my sleeve. Wearing a short-sleeved white blouse today and a blue skirt, modest, so as to not send him any mixed signals. I wanted to be strong, to show him I was a lady, a classy woman. Too old, too mature for him.

But the moment he touches me, I flinch. I inhale and breathe in his scent subtly. I must be giving off pheromones against my will because he’s only coming closer. He ignores my lack of encouragement and instead takes a chance.

I sigh as he puts his hands on my hips, not waiting to be asked. As always, invading my space. But this time it feels deliriously good. Like I’m tired of fighting or resisting. Like I’m temporarily insane and just want to let him push farther and farther.

I look him in the eye and give him a warning, as he rubs his hands on the top of my ass.

I proceed to walk away from him, still very aware that there are other people here minding their own business. I walk over to the relationship and psychology section of the store and start browsing.

Of course, he follows me and I slowly walk a few steps ahead. Eventually, he speeds up and catches up to me. Maybe this was a mistake. We’re surrounded by two shelves of books, so high that no one can see inside from the front or back of the store.

I sigh and smile, trying hard to send him a back-off signal. I turn around and start looking for books. He ignores me and backs into me from behind, wrapping his hands around my waist, just to let me feel his warmth.

I breathe in anxiously, too afraid of alerting other people by making a louder noise.

I catch a glimpse of him when I look behind me. He does the same, checking to see if the view is clear, and then puts his hands on my shoulders. I panic and look around the building as he slips his hands lower, down to my hips.

I try to resist but only a little bit. I shoo his hand away but I’m enjoying it far too much to make a noise or push his entire body away from me. He raises my skirt just to put his hands on my ass, for a second time, this time without an apology.

I can’t resist anymore, I can’t even speak up and tell him I’m not interested. Because part of me, most of me, is tired of making excuses. All I’ve been thinking about for weeks is about him touching me. Letting him touch me, letting him surpass my boundaries and do what he feels like doing to my body.

“There are people here,” I finally whisper as I try to turn around and shoo him away.

“I know,” he whispers back. “But this might be my only chance before you change your mind.”

“Yeah…” I whisper back. “Sucks for you that we’re in a public place.”

“I don’t care. When Haley’s Comet comes around I camp out all night.”

He suddenly reaches around and grabs my breast. I moan, a little too loudly, but thankfully no one is looking. I almost laugh, almost squeal, but I try to keep quiet, all too aware of our surroundings.

Meanwhile, he’s not backing down. He grips both my breasts and breathes down the back of my neck.

“What are you doing?”

“Come home with me.”

“No,” I whisper.

“Do you desire me?”

“Maybe.”

“Then fuck me right here.”

It’s so outrageous I want to laugh, to scream, to shoot him down…but I can’t.

I don’t want to make a sound and embarrass the two of us. So, it’s easier to just let him squeeze them, just for a moment longer.

But this horny boy is relentless. He won’t let go, even when I turn around, and try to break us apart, he holds on and squeezes my breasts.

I laugh quietly, in disbelief. He really has no fear, does he?

“We’re going to get caught.”

“Then take me home.”

“No. I don’t want you in my house.”

I sigh in frustration, as my voice becomes raspy. He pulls my blouse from out of my skirt and brings out my stomach, which he fondles just as madly.

I try to whisper something, but he doesn’t care. I look around nervously and hope no one comes around.

Suddenly he pulls my blouse up and exposes my bra. I moan heavily and squeal softly, still looking around and over the shelves.

“Is this what you wanted, pervert!” I say, ashamed at how aroused I feel.

“Yes, but I want more. Right now.”

“We can’t! We’re in public.”

“So, you admit you want me to touch you? Just not here?”

“I…I…”

I groan as he pulls up my skirt and puts his hands on my peach colored panties.

“Then take me home. Have your way with me there,” he says, right into the back of my neck which only arouses me more.

“I don’t want to take you home -” I say, finding his eyes, taunting him. Making him just a little crazier than he already is.

“Then shut up and let me fuck you right here,” he says rubbing his hand all over the back of my panties.

“You have no morals at all-” I say spitefully, just as he reaches over and grabs my bra, fondling my breast harder.

“No, I don’t. Not when I’m with you, Laura.”

He puts both his hands on my breasts and squeezes them hard, until he pops my nipple out, sending me into a meltdown.

“Take me home.”

“Mmmmm I don’t want you there. I want you here.”

“Then take me somewhere unless you want both of us arrested.”

“I…I… aaahhhh…” I moan, just as he pulls my bra downward and brings both nipples out into the cold air.

I hold my hand over my mouth, literally to stop myself from groaning loudly all over the store, as he continues to play with my nipples, rubbing them both with his fingers.

My body shifts backward and forward, too terrified to move, too turned on to ask him to stop. This feels wrong. It is wrong, for so many reasons. Maybe I’ll change my mind as soon as I leave this store, or as soon as this feeling passes. But for now, I can’t say no to him.

“Urgh!” I finally blurt out as he squeezes both my hard nipples and kisses the back of my head. “Okay!” I surrender quietly, just as I see another person’s head approaching in the distance. I quickly pull my blouse back down and feel only hornier as I realize my hard nipples are popping out through the material.

I briefly make eye contact with the stranger, who probably figures something is up. Oh God! We have to get out of here. I’m making a fool of myself.

“Go into the restroom and wait for me.”

“I don’t want to do it in the bathroom.”

“Just do what I tell you or else I’m going to strip you down right here, in front of everybody.”

I nod as I escape his grip and quickly flee to the restroom corridor.

I frantically jump inside the lady’s room and shut the door behind me. I halfway ponder on whether or not to bolt out of here. Do I really want this to happen? This might be my last opportunity to change my mind.

But I can’t. I want him to finish what he started. Or should I say my body wants it. My body is tired of rejecting him. The selfish bitch in me wants him, and I want him to take me here. Now.

Moments become minutes but I’m still waiting. What is going on out there? Did he leave me here or…”

I decide to pull my bra back up and adjust my blouse. I glance in the mirror, making sure I look like a sophisticated woman and not some slut.

As I wait here in the restroom, wondering what’s taking him so long. Fine, if he’s going to keep me waiting, he doesn’t get what he wants. I leave the restroom and look around the building, but its empty. I don’t see anybody. I take a few steps forward…

Then, without warning, he swoops in from behind and grabs my stomach. He rubs my tummy in circles and then all the way down to my pubic bone. He caresses his way down until he puts his hand on my clit, forcing his way through the cotton.

“We can’t!” I say loudly.

“I can’t stand it anymore,” he says gruffly. “You’ve teased me too long and I’m going to fuck you right here and now.”

“Wait.” I say, as his animal instincts take over, forcing my panties down. Oh god, the draft! I’m so fucking wet for him. Where is everybody? We’re going to get caught.

“Did you ever think I would have my lips all over your ass?”

“No…you’re so bad…” I sigh as he bends to his knees and throws my skirt over his head. He quickly finds my ass, and my panties, and begins kissing with all his zest.

“Oh God…” I moan. That’s definitely too loud. Where the hell is everyone?

“Mmmm. Let go of your panties. Right now. I’m going to pull them down.”

“Urgh!” I cry out, letting him pull my panties all the way down to the floor as he begins rubbing his face on my cheeks. “Oh, Byron…”

“I love it when you say my name,” he mumbles, right as he starts kissing my wet spot. He is exploring my insides, …mmmm with his tongue, and his lips.

“Oh God…what are you doing?”

My knees grow weak with excitement. I slowly start kneeling, falling down to the floor.

“Turn around.”

“No, we can’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because…people…”

“But you do want me to? Eat your pussy out?”

“I uh…” I can’t answer.

“Say it. I’ve been dying to hear those words. Come on,” he says roughly turning me around and over so that I can lie on my back.

“Where is everyone? What did you do?”

“Don’t worry about it.”

“Well…” I start to say before biting down on my finger. He throws my black skirt over my hips and spreads my legs apart. I feel a tingle all through my head as I realize I’m openly exposed with nothing more to hide from him. I almost feel shy. But he holds my legs apart, eagerly kissing my tender thighs.

“I don’t want…people to see…”

“So what if they see?” he mutters, right before softly grazing my clit with his tongue.

“I uhhhhh…don’t want…”

“Maybe they do know. But maybe they’re powerless to object,” he says as he strokes my clit with his fingers. “Huh?”

“Ohhhh God!” I moan, tensing my body as he strokes faster.

“Maybe I’ll buy the store and force everyone out. Just so I can eat this pussy right here and right now. What would you do?”

He spreads my quivering legs again and rests his hot lips right on my throbbing spot. I pound my fists on the floor, not having the will to object, but neither having the confidence to enjoy it. I want him to eat me out. I feel the desire burning my insides. But why can’t I let myself go?

“Ohhhh!” I scream loudly, echoing through the seemingly empty store, as he licks my clit faster and with more pressure. “Mmmmm!” I cry as I bite down on my hand, stifling my bigger scream.

His tongue is like lightning, stroking, licking and stabbing my clit in every direction. I can’t believe he’s doing this. Oh Jesus! I open my eyes and watch him, staring right into my pussy, getting his up-close shot of my intimacy, just like he always wanted. I fought so hard to resist but now I can’t. And now he’s eating me out as hard as he can, punishing me for making him wait so long.

And every lash, every stroke, fills my body with glowing, throbbing ecstasy. I tense my muscles just as I feel like I’m ready to…

And he stops, just so he can tease me. By sucking, and spitting, and sucking on my clit again. I cry out to the ceiling, reaching for something, anything to hold onto. I grab a handful of his hair and yank him around as I soak his face with my…oh God!

My breathing intensifies as I get wetter. But he can’t get enough. He licks my clit so hard right to the brink of coming and then stops.

“Oh no…” I groan, squirming around frantically. He puts his palm on my mound and rubs his fingers on my neatly trimmed patch. I roll my eyes into the back of my head as he sinks his entire tongue into my wet cunt. Oh! I flutter. My voice vibrates and my body writhes back and forth, nowhere to go but deeper into his dirty mouth.

“You fucking dirty boy…” I say, feeling the heat of the moment. I suddenly become self-conscious wondering what he thinks of my smell, my taste, but he licks and swirls and gobbles me down without hesitance.

“Is that what you wanted?” I ask, making eye contact with him as he licks, DRINKS, more of my cum. “Mmmm! Is that what you…ohhh yeah right there…”

I squint my eyes and shake my head back and forth on the floor as he inserts two fingers into my pussy hole.

“Yeeees!” I scream, no filter, no control left. If there’s anyone left in this store they’re hearing every last cry, no every last sound of my pussy being fingered right now. And it just makes me want to come even harder!

“You fucker, you fucker!” I say in weakness, hating him for getting into my panties. But loving the way it feels. Loving the way it feels for a man to lick and you don’t even know how you feel about him. Do I hate him or love him? Do I want to punch his face or suck his cock? Oh God! I can’t believe he’s going to make me come again.

“Mmmmmm!” he groans, as his hard fingers fuck me, pounding into my G-spot.

“Ohh right there! Suck my clit!” I scream, barely keeping my eyes open.

“Mmmmm!” he hums back to me, sucking me, stuffing me, and wanting nothing more than for me to cream his face.

“Ohhh shit!” I moan, realizing I can never go back. I can never go back to being anything normal with this man after he has tasted my pussy. Oh God! how easy was I? How hard did he really fight for this? Did I just give him my pussy so easy, like some slut he took home from a bar?

Oh God, the thought almost makes me come, but I hold back, tensing all my muscles and resisting.

“Aahhhh! What are you doing to me?” I wheeze to him, as he stuffs his wet fingers into my blouse and finds my breasts. He finds my erect nipples again and squeezes hard, right as he licks the hell out of my clit.

“Ohhh!”

“Say my name,” he grunts, rubbing my burning clit with his smooth hands.

“Noooo,” I say, smiling as I find his eyes.

“Say my name.”

“Ohhhh no. I don’t want you to think -.”

“Think what? That I’m eating that sacred pussy out? Huh?” he says, firing away with his magic fingers and slowly unleashing a tidal wave of passion I’ve never felt before. “That you promised I’d never touch that MILF pussy of yours but here I am, tasting you and rubbing that sweet trim?”

“Huuhhhh! Byron…” I say right as I start spasming against my will. “Byron…”

“Yeah say my name. Good girl. What am I doing to you?”

“Eating me…so good.” I say, tearing up as I feel my whole pelvis starting to shake. Oh Jesus where did he learn this? How is he so young and showing me things about my body I never even thought…

“Gaaaahh!” I scream loudly, shoving more pussy into his face, so hard I lift my butt off the floor. “Eating my…eating my…”

“Your pussy? Pounding my therapist’s pussy?”

I laugh hard, even in the midst of an orgasm. But it only makes my body more tense and shaky. Orgasm approaches and I lose breath. “Damn you. I’m not your fucking therapist.”

“I know you’re not. Because you wanted this. You wanted me to make you come. Isn’t that right?”

“Oh, Byron!” I cry out with all my might, grabbing his hair and involuntarily spasming hard and rough onto his young, rebellious face.

“Give it to me. Give me that good cum. I want to hear you cum, Laura.”

“Yes…you’re gonna…”

“Gonna come? Gonna squirt for me?”

“Squirt?” I laugh. “I never squirt.”

“Never once?”

“No…” I say, gritting my teeth as he goes back to licking my tender clit.

He fingers me again as he taunts me. “Ever had that nice ass explored?”

“No way!”

“But have you ever had sex in a bookstore before? With some young buff guy?”

“Nooo…” I swoon, loving the way he’s stroking my G-spot which swells and feels so tight.

“Noooo…”

“What am I making you do?”

“Oh God! All sorts of nasty things…” I say, closing my eyes, unable to even look him in the eyes. I’m so red right now.

“I’m going to finger your ass. It won’t hurt. Tell me if it hurts.”

“Ohhh w-wait…”

“Tell me no. But if you want to come really hard, let me do it.”

“I…I…”

“Trust me. Just be quiet and submit to me.”

“Ohhhh…” I mouth the words…but I can’t bring myself to say no. I never thought it possible for him to eat me out in public. And I never thought it possible for him to finger my ass. Oh God! what have I become?”

“There ya go…” he grunts, gently pushing the tips of his wet finger into my butthole. I do a couple of little shrieks. It doesn’t hurt, but it feels so weird. So different, a little nice actually.

And then just as I start to get comfortable, he goes back to tonguing my clit. Oh yeahhh!! All the tension I had held onto is quickly fading. He puts one more finger up my ass, forcing me to let go. My pelvis rocks back and forth, unable to resist what he’s doing to me. Try as I might, I can’t resist. I can’t resist him destroying my willpower.

My pelvis shoots up, which only pushes his finger deeper, making my pussy throb. Ohhh God! I’m going to come so hard. How did he do this to me? He seduced me real good. He got straight into my panties, into my ass. Oh, this fucking asshole. I’m gonna give him everything.

“Ohhh fuuuuuck! Byron! Byron! Gawd!”

“CUM!” he commands, screaming into my overflowing cunt.

“Ohhh I’m cumming!” I holler, grabbing my own hair for dear life and feeling the wave of pleasure push out of my body. From the top of my head to my pussy and God, even out of my sore ass! My body can’t stop shaking. I’m breathing so hard, crying at the intensity. I haven’t been fucked this good since high school!

“Ohhhh fuuck!” I scream again, just as he swats and smacks my pulsating clit. I open my eyes and look batshit crazy, cumming so hard and desperately looking into his eyes. I nod, letting him abuse my clit all he wants—at least for one more moment.

“Ohhhhhh shiiiiit!” I scream one last time, right before pushing his fingers away from me and turning over in exhaustion.

My clit is throbbing and sore, so bad I can’t even bear another touch. Oh, my pussy is so wet, I dripped on the fucking carpet! What the fuck did we just do?

We both breathe hard, trying to recompose ourselves. “Okay…” I say, almost breathless, sounding like a fucking slut. Feeling thoroughly satisfied. Totally purged of all sexual tightness. So loose, so free. Almost dizzy. Oh, that was way too good. “Okay, now tell me, what did you do?”

He smiles, my cum still shining on his lips. Oh Jesus, what did we do?

“Paid everyone to get the fuck out. I knew this was a now or never moment.”

“And to have sex with me…” I gasp for air. “Was more important than…”

“Than ANYTHING else. Anything else in the world! What part of I crave you don’t you understand?”

“All of it, but it’s okay. You’re a sick monkey…” I smile at him weakly, too exhausted to feel shame. Will I feel any guilt about this? There’s no reason to, he’s young and a brat. But he does things to me…makes me feel…so much.

“If living just to make you orgasm over and over again is sick, I am a hardcore sicko.”

“I can’t believe…” I pant. “I let you do that to me.”

“I know. I’m still a little surprised I got away with it.”

“Me too. Me especially! I meant what I said…”

“About what?”

“About me never sleeping with you.”

He smiles, a little too smug for his own good. “Well, we didn’t sleep together. So you’re not a liar.”

“How did you do it? You clever snake.”

“The real question is why did you resist so hard? When there’s obviously something between us?”

“Because…it was a…moment of weakness.” I look into his eyes and smile. Not in delight, not in sarcasm. But just a genuine moment of admiration for his insane dedication to learning my “combination” and making me abandon all my scruples.

“It’s fine. Did I even ask for you to do me? Nope.”

“Good. Because I don’t want to do you. I don’t want to have sex with you.” I stare into his eyes, all too aware of the irony that it’s just a joke to him at this point. We did so much more than have sex. But it still feels good to deny him a little bit.

“I didn’t want to have sex with you either. I just wanted to taste you, to give you pleasure, to hear your orgasm. I got what I wanted. And you got what you wanted. I’m as happy as a clown right now.”

“You’re way too easily impressed,” I laugh.

“Uh uh, not at all. I’m actually very hard to impress. But you are worth it, Laura Katt. You are worth moving mountains for. Because you’re the sweetest, tastiest therapist in the world.”

I laugh, against my will. It’s always against my better judgment with this guy. He’s so sure of himself, so oblivious to the rules of society. But there’s a delirious charm with him that’s very sexy. Well, I guess there’s something sexy about him, considering how much we just exploded all over each other.

But it’s not just his good looks, youth or muscular body. Not even his amazing oral sex technique. Not even his money or insane confidence.

Something else I can’t quite put my finger on.

“So,” he says admiring the view as I put my bra back on and pull my panties up over my wetness. “What happened with Bill?”

I give him a naughty glance. “I called and told Bill earlier today I wasn’t going to make it.”

“Oh? Next time?”

“No. I told him…” I shut my eyes and smile, begrudgingly. “I told him I lied. That there is something between us. You and I. That I was choosing you.”

“Imagine that. What did he say?”

“He minded his own business. He accepted it, Byron. Because he’s a gentleman. Not like you.”

“Oh wow. Guess he feels like a winner!” Byron said, cleaning his mouth with his shirt and giving me that horrible, terrible, so devilishly sexy glare that says, “I’m on top of the world.”

“Apologize. That was mean.”

“No,” he says snidely. “I owe him nothing.”

“Fine. Then don’t ask why I don’t like you.”

“You may not like me, Laura. But you want me. Just like I want you.”

I glance back at him and think it over.

“I want to see you again.”

“No.”

“Not for sex. Just because I think I deserve a date now. A real date.”

I sigh, just as I pull my skirt back up and push myself back into respectable clothing. I love him looking at me. It feels so wrong, and yet wildly exciting.

“Don’t give me that nothing in common shit. You know there’s something here worth exploring.”

“Uhhh…”

“Come on. Don’t break Bill’s heart for nothing.”

“Don’t mention Bill anymore,” I say firmly, feeling a bit of shame. Especially since Bill is the respectable guy I should be dating. But for some reason, the man I don’t even know if I like, finishes first.

“Then go out with me. Like Christmas. Let’s do something like that again. Unless my prediction is true, and you’re already bored of me.”

I stare at him and lose my smile. “No. I’m not bored of you.”

“Good. Then stop thinking of this thing between us as some older woman-younger man fetish.”

I lose my smirk and stare at him, actually giving it some thought.

“It’s not just sex you know. Or maybe you don’t know. But it’s not just sex for me.” He stares me down, not as a boy but like a man.

I decided Byron was right. Not about everything, god no, but about the whole casual sex thing. I didn’t sleep with him…well, that wasn’t sleep technically, but I didn’t sleep with him for sex. I didn’t surrender to him for lust. It was something more.

I can’t quite put it into words, but yes, in short, I felt he deserves a chance. A real chance. He took me out for dinner three days later. Naturally, in his Ferrari and to the most expensive restaurant in three cities.

But I let him splurge, since he seemed as happy as a kid in a candy store, just to be in my presence. Every time I smiled at him, he seemed to light up. He was a little too eager to talk about sex and I refused to do that over dinner. But later on, as we rode back home, we started talking about all these kinky things.

Not just the swearing and the taboos, but of course, and the most interesting part to me, the intellectual side of it.

“Why are you such a kinky guy?” I look over at him and smile as he drives us home. “You know what I mean. Usually, it’s a woman like me corrupting a guy like you, but you’re not like most younger guys. I think you know that.”

“I’m rich, isn’t that what I’m supposed to say?”

“You can say whatever you want. But is that your real answer?”

“I think because…” he pauses and thinks about it seriously. “I never had the chance to be innocent, if that makes sense.”

“How so?”

“Well, I was just exposed to sex since my early teens. I mean, Dad was always working and Mom was out. I was alone in the house most of the time. At first, it was soap operas, you know. All they show is people sleeping with everybody else. Not much of a moral lesson.”

“But the spankings? The kink, where does all that come from?”

“Ah, well I guess I always thought from soaps. But later porn, when I figured out how to steal cable, and that bad guys were the ones that always got laid.”

I remain silent, looking concerned.

“I mean, the good guys in the shows, you know, they cried and you felt bad for them. But the villains were always the guys who got the girl. The ones who screwed everyone and then won the game. It wasn’t fair, but it made sense. Don’t go through life with people feeling sorry for you. Fucking win this game.”

“So, in the soaps the villains always…”

“Of course. That was the conflict.”

“But what about the womanizing? Didn’t you say…” I laugh. “You know, about the girls, the partying…”

“Well, all that perversion sort of found me. My first sexual experience was with my babysitter. She was in her twenties and me in my teens. She came onto me one day and I thought it was just the best fucking thing ever.

I laugh at first but then ask more pointed questions. “You don’t think she took advantage of your innocence?”

“No. I mean, I guess with most people sex is this huge deal, like life-changing, major decisions to make. But with me it was just…you know, two people getting to know each other. It was an introduction, not an end. But with you, the opposite huh?”

“Yeah, you might say that,” I reply reluctantly. “Sex for me has always been…something I lose at. Not win.”

I glance over at him but can’t bear to look too long.

“I grew up without a father. I mean I did have one, but he left when I was thirteen years old. And I’ve always had that fear of abandonment.”

“Not to play therapist, but that’s not the whole story. Is it?”

“No,” I sigh, feeling nostalgic. “I was married before. And that’s probably what did it.”

“Stupid fucker.”

I laugh softly. “Well I thought the same for a while but eventually, as an intellectual, you realize it was just incompatibility. Not the end of the world.”

“Why did it end? If you don’t mind me asking.”

“Because,” I say as blankly as possible, trying my best not to project. “Because he came in like a stud, so suave, confident and sexy. Mysterious and adventurous. Very keen on making me try new things.” I laugh at the irony, and so does Byron.

“And? Did he…you know, cheat on you?”

“Well…to his credit, he didn’t technically cheat. He always prized himself on being honest. To a fault.”

“Huh! Now that’s interesting.”

“Yeah. No, he made it quite clear, he wasn’t happy with me. He was getting bored of me. Sex just became routine after a while. It was really hot at first, then I guess I just lost it, you know. I lost whatever I had before, that he found so irresistible.”

Byron looks at me a long moment and then keeps quiet.

“I guess that’s what happens in adult relationships. We get older. We get boring. And eventually men…well, the really good men, the ones who know they’re so good, leave.”

I exhale through my nose, just enough to stop myself from sniffling. I don’t want to scare the kid, making him think I’m some clingy old woman. The truth is, it happened a long time ago. Before I was independent. Before I ripped that little sad girl out of me completely and grew the fuck up.

But don’t tell him that. Just let him have his date. Who knows, maybe he’ll start taking this stuff more seriously and realize we actually DON’T have that much in common.

I glance over at him and notice he looks a little somber.

“Hey. I know how things might seem. Just so you know though, I’m all talk, and I don’t regret what happened.”

He just nods. Too bad. I was expecting something along the lines of “Me too.” But oh well, maybe the kid’s scared to death. Yeah, commitment is scary. Isn’t it, Byron? You don’t have to tell me that.

“So, is that it?” he says, finally speaking up. “My history of womanizing? You think…you think I would get bored of you.”

“Absolutely not,” I say, turning my head. “All that stuff happened a long time ago. Since then I’ve grown up. I’ve learned to stop projecting my issues onto other people. We owe each other a clean slate. No comparisons.”

“I see,” he says, his mysterious heart well cloaked even as his handsome face is obscured by passing nightshade.

“How about your family? I guess your parents have been together for a long time?”

He nods. I wait for him to elaborate, but nothing. The moment becomes awkward. Very awkward. What did I do wrong? I shake my head, wanting to reassure him that it’s no big deal if he wants to talk or not talk about it. But his strange vibe makes me think it’s not wise to pursue this. He seems unusually stoic. The first time he’s been like this.

I smile wistfully. “Well, we’re almost at my house. Thank you for a lovely dinner.”

“Yeah,” he finally says nodding happily.

“You take care of yourself, stud,” I say with a wink.

As I get out of the car, glancing at him making sure he’s still breathing.

I remind myself not to take all this so seriously. Not again. It was just sex. Sometimes sex is confusing. He’ll learn this over time. You, Laura, know this from experience. It will pass, like a beautiful sunset or a vacation you waited so long for. Every relationship ends. Enjoy each moment for what it is and be grateful.

I smile at him and wave. He waves back and watches me as I walk to my humble home, exhausted not in body, but definitely in mind.