Jess took a deep breath of the spring air, clutching her books tighter to her chest. This was her favorite time of year: quivering buds on the brink of opening, tremulous possibility for the seasons ahead. Everywhere the air felt light and fertile, and she nearly skipped between classes, invigorated by the time of year.

At least the change in weather had helped her mood in recent times. The winter had been dark and lonely, made worse by Alistair’s final and gutting rejection. Because she hadn’t just felt it once. She felt it twice: once for her, and once for the baby that grew inside her.

Yes, thank God spring was here. It reminded her to keep her chin up. Her near-daily walks through new parts of the city helped her keep her spirits up, too, one of the only lasting effects of Alistair on her life. He’d unwittingly made her more adventurous, even if it strictly entailed seeking out new parts of Seattle to explore. Even so, they were things she would have never found the time for, pre-Austria.

It was great for her and the baby. Though most days she thought her jaunts would be more fun with Alistair at her side. But everything would be fine as a single mother. Things had been going well post-B3 anyway. She had never needed Alistair, and she certainly didn’t need him now. It was just that pesky wanting him that continued to occasionally get in the way.

School was going well. She was enrolled full-time and had used her status as a single expectant mother to secure some grants and scholarships for her architecture program. Because she was going to become an architect, come hell or high water. Jess’s business plan was already rock solid, a pet project of hers that had blossomed into a career path once B3 dissolved as her future. Her specialty would be tiny, eco-friendly houses. She’d paid attention while working with Alistair and had enough worthwhile contacts to drum up some early interest in the direction she was headed.

So no, she didn’t need Alistair. Or his company. Or the stocks, which she’d cashed out and donated to a charity, just to prove that she didn’t need anyone. Her baby, on the other hand, might want a father, and she’d done her best to try to let Alistair know he had a daughter on the way. A precious little girl Jess couldn’t wait to meet, whose secret nickname was Marigold. It only seemed right.

But if Alistair didn’t want anything to do with her, then she’d return the favor. Even if she would sometimes indulge in late-night cry-a-thons imagining what he might be like as a father. The way he might dote on her and her ridiculous appetite for fried ice cream. The sweet things he’d say to urge her on when the studying was too much and her energy levels were too low.

Alistair still lived in her head, and that was the hardest part to get rid of.

Jess brushed her hair away from her face as she approached the student parking lot. In the distance, a profile caught her attention, someone tall and squared. Dark hair that looked like Alistair’s. She shook her head, scolding herself. She’d thought about him too much today. It was making her hallucinate.

She focused on the asphalt of the parking lot as she walked, weaving between cars, humming absently to herself. Classes had been good today. A lot of homework this weekend. Another OB appointment on Monday.

Just imagine what Alistair would say if he could hear little Marigold’s heartbeat on Monday.

She crinkled her nose, trying hard to un-think it. Thoughts like these slammed into her sometimes, left her breathless and spinning. They weren’t helpful, either. Alistair had made his stance clear. It was her job to accept it and move on.

She came up to her car, fumbling inside her purse as she struggled not to drop her books. Tongue poking out of her mouth, she hunted without success, the keys constantly eluding her. Finally she sighed, setting her books and purse onto the hood of the car so she could search without restriction.

It took her a few moments, but she fished them out. Way to be like Alistair. She shook her head, unlocking her car.

And then she glanced up.

And Alistair was there.

Her whole body froze, skin tingling with confusion. She couldn’t even breathe as she looked at him, standing there on the other side of her car like some sort of ghost, an apparition she’d conjured from wanting him too hard. Was this a side effect of pregnancy? Maybe the new prenatal vitamins caused temporary delusions.

“Jessica.”

His voice trickled through her like warm honey, a delicacy as much as a salve. Her breath hitched, and she dropped her keys right back into her purse.

“What are you doing here?”

He wet his bottom lip, looking around as if this was some sort of complex question that required forethought. He pressed his palm to the roof of her car. “I had to find you.”

She jerked her attention down to her purse, grabbing for the keys before she had to repeat her quest. Besides, now she really needed to get out of there.

“You threw me out of your life. Why do you care where I am?” She yanked her car door open, shoving her purse inside. She tossed her books one by one into the passenger seat.

“I made a mistake.”

His words made her eyes flutter shut. The words she’d been dreaming of since she left Austria. The words she’d been too scared to actually hope for. This had to be a dream.

“Oh well. Too late.” She pressed a fake smile to her lips. “Anything else?”

“Please hear me out,” he said. His blue eyes seared through her, rooting her to her spot. She should drive away, but she couldn’t stop looking at his boyishly handsome face. The face she had sincerely believed she would never see again, not even with every stroke of luck available.

“Like you heard me out?” she shot back.

He deflated slightly. “Hopefully a bit more than that.”

“I don’t have time for you. You’re engaged now; you’ve got everything you want. You and your lawyers made it really clear that you want nothing to do with me, so you can fuck off.” The tabloids had smeared their brief Austrian dalliance around for about a week before it faded into obscurity. The announcement of his engagement to Abby, however, was like the news that the world just couldn’t let go of. Speculation about the wedding, their ridiculous Mount St. Helens proposal; it was like everyone was obsessed with this quasi-royal affair. And Jess was forced by her own morbid curiosity to watch the saga of how well she’d done her job in picking this fiancée for him.

He winced, curling his hands into fists. “Dammit, Jess. I can’t get over you. Okay? I thought I could cut you out and just move on, but I can’t.”

His words echoed through the air as if he’d shouted through a megaphone. It nearly hurt to hear them. When she didn’t respond, he continued. “I didn’t want to fall in love. I never wanted to fall in love. Not with anyone. It was my life’s goal to avoid it, actually. And I thought I had. But I fell in love with you. Before Austria, actually. Before I lost my memory. And when you took the role of my fiancée, yeah, I fell in love with you a second time. And you showed me what it actually felt like to be with someone who…cared.” His voice broke a little, sending a shockwave of emotion through her.

“I’ve been in love with you since we started working together. Practically since the day I met you. I couldn’t admit it; I could barely even conceive it. So of course I fought this with every fiber of my being. But it was wrong. I can admit it now. I can finally see the truth. I just want you, Jess. I want to be with you. I want to try something. For the first time in both of our lives.” He paused, drawing a deep breath, his face creased with emotion. “Can we?”

Jess blinked a few times, willing herself to give the answer she knew she should give. The strong answer. The independent answer. The answer he deserved.

“No.”

As soon as the word passed her lips, she stuffed herself into her car and slammed the door shut, starting the car. Alistair’s torso tugged at her attention through the passenger window. He pressed his hand to the glass, and she looked away, missing even his knuckles, the knobbiness of them, the way he could send thrills under her skin just by brushing her jaw with them.

Jess reversed and sped out of the parking lot as fast as she could, not daring to look in her rearview once. It felt like she barely drew a breath the whole way home.

Later that night, she tortured herself by replaying Alistair’s words in her head, focusing on the rawness of his voice, the emotion that had leaked out of him. Was it right to deny him? He hadn’t been able to see her belly, so he still didn’t know about Marigold. But how much longer could she put it off, now that he actually wanted to see her?

Around seven p.m., a light knock at her door sounded. She creased a brow, wondering who might have gotten past the intercom system. Only a small handful of friends knew the code to get in, but she wasn’t expecting anyone tonight. She peered through the peephole, biting back a gasp.

It was Alistair.

Of course he’d show up here. She pinched the bridge of her nose. Time for damage control. He couldn’t see her belly. Not quite yet. But dammit, she wanted to hear him out, to hear what other sweet things he might say. To see just how willing he was to make it all up to her.

Her hand drifted to the doorknob. “What do you want?”

“Marigold.”

She winced.

“Please, let’s talk. I had much more to say earlier.”

She pressed her forehead to the door, hand shaking as she sifted through the emotions. “If I let you into my apartment, it’s on my terms.”

“There’s no other way.”

She drew a deep breath. “First of all…Once I unlock this door you count to five before you open it.”

“Fine.”

“And then once you’re in here, you don’t touch me. And you don’t call me Marigold anymore.” Because that was her baby’s name now, even if he didn’t know it.

“Deal. May I start counting now?”

She cursed to herself, looking back at the couch. She’d bundle up in the blankets, hide her belly, maybe even feign an illness. “Okay. Go.”

She flipped the lock and then zipped over to the couch while he counted from outside. As she arranged blankets around herself, burrowing deep into the softness, Alistair reached five.

“I’m coming in now.”

The door creaked open, and he poked a head in. His lopsided grin nearly split her in two. “Nice place,” he said.

“Thanks. Now what do you want?”

He stepped inside hesitantly, looking around at her apartment as if it were more museum than functional, economical living arrangement. “May I sit down?”

She pointed to an arm chair near the couch. He eased into the seat, nodding slowly.

“Did you live here when you worked with me?”

She shook her head. “I had to downsize.”

“Because you’re in school now?”

“Yes. I’m not working anymore. I don’t have time to do both.” She sniffed. “So? State your case. Your time is running out.”

He smoothed his palms over the knees of his dark jeans. “Is this a court room?”

“After you involved your lawyer, I involved mine. Mine just happens to be myself, in this living room.” She pursed her lips.

“I’m sorry for that.” He raked his hand through his hair. She could still remember just how glorious it felt to do that. “I wasn’t thinking clearly. I just couldn’t waver on my position. I thought that if you were completely cut out, and I didn’t run the risk of hearing your voice or getting any calls from you, that I would be able to finally get over you.”

“Well, apparently that didn’t work,” she said quietly.

“No. It failed. I followed my plan exactly as I wanted. And it…sucks.” He let out a small laugh.

A grin flickered at her lips, but she squashed it. “It’s not often you admit you designed something poorly.”

“I was all wrong about this one,” he said, meeting her gaze shyly. “What happened in Austria was…both the best and worst time of my life.” He scrubbed at his face, sinking deeper into the arm chair. “Can you understand? Everything was so volatile. I felt betrayed. But mostly because I never wanted to lose my freedom…and somehow, over the course of that accident, I had signed it all away.”

“I never once tried to take away any freedoms, personal or otherwise,” she said, holding up her hands. “That’s on you.”

“Yeah. I know.” He nodded. “I just thought that falling in love would make me less free. It felt like a prison that I couldn’t escape from. But really…” He paused, his icy blue eyes raking over her. “I made the prison myself.”

“Is this about your new fiancée?”

He hefted with a laugh. “Yes. But also no. She’s exactly what I asked for. And it turns out I hate exactly what I asked for.”

Jess bit back a smile. “Fancy that.”

They watched each other for a moment, tension crackling through the air. But it wasn’t all bad. There was some sort of amusement there, like the old times creeping in. Back when they could communicate just by glancing at each other from across the office.

“I don’t want to be with just anyone,” he said after a comfortable pause. “I want to be with you. Because I love you, Jess. I’m in love with you, so much that I think about you even when I’m positive I’m not thinking about you.”

Her throat tightened, and she burrowed deeper in the blankets, partially hiding her face.

“I know you walked away from the company, and you have your own life now. You have this apartment, you’re studying architecture—”

“I never told you that,” she interjected.

“I did some research,” he admitted. “It wasn’t hard to find. You’re on the program website. I’m not asking you to give any of this up. I just wonder if there could be room in your life for me.”

She brushed away a tear that had spilled, desperate to look away from him but unable to break his gaze. She could look at Alistair for her entire life and still want just a little bit more.

“Why now?”

“Because I’ve finally realized what a colossal mistake I made. Because I’m leaving B3. Because I realized that the prison I had put myself in didn’t have to last forever.”

She blinked a few times. “You’re what? You’re leaving the company?”

“I am.” He folded his fingers together. “I gave control of my stocks to my brothers. Everything is still in place, they just own my shares.”

“You’re not beholden to the fiancée arrangement anymore?” she murmured, the news traveling through her like electricity.

“No. That’s behind me. Abby moved out two weeks ago. My brothers are okay with the decision, but…this isn’t about them. This is about what I want to create with you.”

Her eyes welled up, her entire body vibrating with emotion. This was too much. This was better than she could have ever imagined. This was beyond her wildest dreams.

“I just want to be the man who gets to love you,” he said, his voice so raw that it nearly broke her heart.

More tears escaped, and she wiped them away hastily. There was no way she could hide the truth now. Alistair had to know.

“Alistair, I love you, but there’s something I have to tell you.” She drew a ragged breath, preparing herself for the moment. She’d imagined it so many times, but that still didn’t come close to this. “Come over here.”

Alistair stood, coming to the edge of the couch. She pushed the blankets aside, looking up at him. Her large tunic covered the growing bump, so she stood up to face him, their bodies just inches apart.

“Feel this.” She guided his hands to her stomach, pressing the flat planes of his hands against the swell of her belly. Realization seeped through him, eyes widening, mouth dropping open.

“You have a daughter in here,” she whispered through tears. “So if you want both of us, we’re yours.”

Alistair took her face between his hands, and she wasn’t sure what came first, the whoop of laughter or the flurry of kisses.