CHAPTER 16
Randi tried to shake off the strange residual emotions following her visit to the Amesport cemetery on the way home that day.
It felt odd that somebody else was apparently visiting her foster parents’ graves on a daily basis. The path was still clear, even though they’d had some light snow since she’d last been there, and the calla lily and the rose were still entwined and lying between the markers. The problem was . . . they were perfect. There was no way they were the same flowers. The two she’d put together would be frozen and dead. The only explanation was that somebody was there daily, moving the snow and leaving new flowers on the graves.
Strangely, they had duplicated what she’d done by re-entwining the two flowers and leaving them there daily with the same tag with only two words: Thank You!
As she opened her email, Randi wondered at the identity of the unknown person.
One time hadn’t really made her think about it, but now that it seemed to be happening every day, it was making her curious as to what her foster parents had done for whoever was apparently honoring them.
A note from S. distracted her from her musings.
Dear M.,
Just checking in to see how you’re doing. How’s your new relationship? Have you changed your mind about making it into something permanent?
Randi smiled sadly at the note from S. She’d already given up on writing to him only from the Center. He knew plenty about her, enough to find her if he so desired. Somehow, she knew he’d never intrude on her life unless she wanted to meet him. Besides, he had a woman of his own now.
Dear S.,
No. No change. He has to leave tomorrow morning. Important business.
He replied.
Dear M.,
You okay with that?
She wasn’t okay at all, but it was reality, and she always knew her relationship with Evan could never be more than temporary. She answered.
Dear S.,
Yeah. I’m fine. I always knew it could never be anything more than a brief interlude. I can never fall in love with a man like him.
How are things with your new relationship? Why aren’t you out? It’s a date night.
Randi knew she was lying, but she could hardly tell S. that she was already in love with Evan Sinclair and that her heart was slowly shattering into tiny little pieces because he was leaving tomorrow. Evan might not be S.’s immediate supervisor, but he was the big boss in the scheme of things. Although she trusted S. with her own secrets, she couldn’t talk to him much about Evan.
She waited, tapping her fingers on the desk in anticipation of a reply. He never took this length of time to answer when they were in conversation.
She needed to get dressed and ready for Hope’s party. She’d had a lunch planned with her female friends today, so she hadn’t had time to see Evan earlier. Besides, she would have felt guilty taking up what little time he had to spend with his cousin Julian. The famous actor had just flown in from California late last night.
More time passed before she got a short reply from S.
I have to get going.
Randi frowned at his response, afraid that she might have hurt his feelings because she didn’t want to talk about Evan. Maybe he saw her lack of communication as a snub. She sent a final one-line email, not sure how to explain why she couldn’t share her feelings with him.
Have a great weekend.
She signed out of her email, a sense of loss overwhelming her as she closed the laptop. Somehow, she was losing her connection with S., and tonight was going to be the last time she ever saw Evan. Oh, he’d be back someday for his family, but Randi knew she could never be with him again intimately.
She was way too emotionally invested in this whole affair with Evan, and it hurt. The best thing she could do was try to forget what had happened in the past with Evan and move on. She did want to have children someday. Her love for kids had been her entire reason for going into teaching and trying to make a difference in their lives.
I’ll forget him eventually. The emptiness I feel right now will go away.
Evan had shown up at the Center last night after her tutoring session with Matt, giving the child his personal email address so they could keep in touch. The gesture had almost brought Randi to tears. The thought of a man as busy and important as Evan giving a kid his contact information to hear about his progress was so damn touching that she’d wanted to cry. The sincerity in Evan’s expression, and his personal interest in a little boy who had the same disorder he had was just so damn . . . sweet.
Afterward, she and Evan had gone for coffee at Brew Magic. Randi could still hear his voice saying that he was happy just because he had a chance to see her. They hadn’t done anything except talk about their day, but it had seemed almost as intimate as sex.
Evan had seemed disappointed when he had to leave their impromptu meeting to go see Julian, who was just about to arrive in Amesport.
I’m totally, completely, and undeniably addicted to him. I was just as sad to see him go last night.
Conflicted, Randi got up to head to her bedroom to get ready for Hope’s ball. Because she was going with Evan, she wished tonight could last forever, but the pragmatic woman in her knew it was going to end.
She looked at her computer, thinking about the distance that seemed to be growing between her and S. Randi was glad he had a woman in his real life, but she missed their uncomplicated conversations, too.
No Evan.
No S. to console her anymore.
“It’s going to be lonely,” Randi murmured to Lily as she stroked the dog’s head, wondering why in the world a streetwise woman like her had been stupid enough to fall head over heels in love with Evan Sinclair.
“I’m worried about Evan,” Mara Sinclair shared with her husband, Jared, as she looked at herself in the mirror and changed her earrings. She was almost ready to leave for Hope’s ball, but she had a bad feeling about how things were going to end for Evan after tonight.
Jared stood above her, adjusting his bow tie. “Why?” he asked curiously.
Mara’s breath caught as she looked up and saw her husband’s handsome reflection in the mirror. She still wasn’t used to being married to such an amazingly gorgeous man. Sighing as she picked up her lipstick, she didn’t ask herself why they had fallen for each other so hard or so completely. She was just grateful for that love every single day.
“All of us are worried,” Mara confessed. She, Hope, Sarah, and Emily had shared their concern during their coffee time. “He’s in love with Randi. I know he is. What happens when he leaves?” Would he retreat inside himself again, lose all the progress he had made in coming out of his defensive shell? Mara was pretty certain that Randi was the reason for the change in Evan. And he had changed. She was doubtful he’d ever lose his know-it-all arrogance. That was just part of Evan. But he was different, less guarded, more connected to the family. She didn’t want him to lose that now.
“I know he’s in love with her,” Jared answered nonchalantly. “I’m just not certain he knows it yet. It’s pretty evident to Grady, Dante, and me because we’ve been where he is right now. After the way he stuck his nose into my relationship with you, I shouldn’t feel sorry for the asshole, but I do.”
Mara turned and punched him lightly in the stomach. “That’s a terrible thing to say. You love Evan and you know it.”
“I love you more,” he answered promptly. “I love you more and more every single day.”
Mara’s heart melted. There wasn’t a single day that Jared didn’t declare that he loved her more today than yesterday. “You love your siblings, too.”
Jared shrugged. “I do love them, and yes, Evan saved my life. But I’m not going to meddle in his business.”
Mara smiled, knowing that Jared would absolutely intervene with Evan if necessary, as she took a final look at herself in the mirror and stood up. She didn’t look bad for a plain, ordinary woman. She’d never be a stunner like Randi, or as eye-catching as Sarah, but the way that Jared looked at her was all that mattered.
Jared whistled as he caught her around the waist. “You’re gorgeous.”
Mara wrapped her arms around his neck. “You don’t look so bad yourself, handsome.” She paused before looking up at him, meeting his gaze. “You know you will interfere if Evan is miserable. He deserves to be happy.”
Jared’s expression changed to one of regret as he answered, “I owe Evan my life and my happiness now. But I don’t think anyone knows what to do. None of us really knows how Randi feels, and Evan holds everything in a place where no one can see that he’s suffering. I’m hoping they’ll resolve this on their own.”
“She loves him,” Mara said confidently. “She wouldn’t be sleeping with him if she didn’t. She hasn’t been with anyone since college. I tried to pry some information out of her during our lunch today, but she wasn’t talking.”
Randi had arrived to their women-only lunch late that day, after the others had finished talking about how concerned they were for Evan.
Mara was just as concerned about Randi. If she loved Evan, which Mara was pretty sure she did, his departure was going to break her heart. Randi had been through so much in her life. She deserved to be loved by a good man.
“She’s sleeping with him?” Jared asked with a false tone of shock.
Mara rolled her eyes. Her husband knew damn well that Randi and Evan had been hot and heavy with each other. “I don’t know what to do, either. Randi lost Joan so recently; I don’t think she’s quite recovered from that. Her relationship with Evan could hurt her badly.”
Jared stroked her cheek and said softly, “Hey, sweetheart, don’t worry so much. We don’t know that they won’t work everything out for themselves.”
“I don’t have a good feeling about it,” Mara replied sadly. “Evan hasn’t been here long enough to completely lose his guard, and he went through such a lot. I guess I’m worried he’ll leave before he realizes how he really feels.”
“He’s learning fast.” Jared wrapped his arms around her waist again and stroked her back. “Dante pressed him just a little about whether or not he was interested. He told Evan if it wasn’t serious, he wanted to introduce Randi to some friends of his at the station. I thought Evan was going to have a heart attack or a stroke.”
Mara raised an eyebrow. “So Dante was baiting him just like Evan did to you?”
“That was different. Evan did it personally,” Jared grumbled.
Mara laughed. “Why do I have a feeling you enjoyed it just a little?” she asked as she recovered.
“I did,” Jared admitted unabashedly. “But that doesn’t mean I don’t want to see him happy. Hell, I feel guilty about not knowing about his problems. I feel like a selfish bastard. I know Hope, Grady, and Dante do, too.”
Mara lifted her palm to Jared’s cheek gently. He’d suffered enough guilt in his past, and she didn’t want him taking on blame that he didn’t need to carry. “You didn’t know. Nobody did. Evan wanted it that way. You know he’s protective of all of you in his own way.” The eldest Sinclair was hyperprotective, but he’d probably never admit it.
“I wish I would have known, but I know it isn’t my fault. Because of you, Mara, I’m done carrying baggage,” he told her fiercely. “If I need to, I’ll do what I have to do to make my stubborn brother face his own ghosts from the past and learn how much better it is to be happy.”
She smiled at him, proud of how far Jared had come at being brutally honest about everything in his life. “I know you will.”
“I wonder how Randi took the news that Evan was her secret email buddy. Did she say?” Jared was curious.
“She didn’t mention it,” Mara answered thoughtfully, wondering herself how Randi had felt when she found out that she’d been talking to Evan all this time. “I’m sure she was shocked. Hope mentioned that they’d been anonymous friends for over a year, but Randi thought it was an employee of the Sinclair Fund.”
“Would it matter to her?” Jared queried, his expression concerned. “Do you think she’d be pissed?”
“I’m not sure. I don’t know exactly how they related to each other, but she won’t be happy that he lied all this time.”
“He said he didn’t exactly lie. He just didn’t correct her whenever she mentioned him being an employee of our fund.” He hesitated before adding, “And he might have acknowledged it as the truth once or twice.”
Mara gave Jared an admonishing look. “He lied.”
“They agreed not to share identities,” Jared argued.
“He’s Evan Sinclair. He could have told her the truth once they got to know each other. I doubt that Randi blatantly lied to him.”
“It’s over. She knows now, and she’s obviously forgiven him,” Jared said confidently. “Hope told him to come clean and see what happened from that point on.”
Mara nodded. “I hope everything goes okay tonight. I hope I’m dressed okay. The party didn’t start out to be formal, but once Hope started calling it a ball, everyone seemed to think they needed to dress for a fancy do.” Her sister-in-law was still calling it a come-as-you-are event, but she knew the attendees were excited to put on their best dress and have a good time. “The ballroom looks beautiful. We all stopped to do a last-minute check before we came home.”
Jared pulled her closer. “You look beautiful, Mara. Can’t you tell?”
She shuddered as his rock-hard erection connected with her body. “You always think I look beautiful,” she told him in a teasing voice.
“That’s because you always do,” he answered immediately, his hands moving down to caress her ass through the silky fabric of the blue cocktail dress.
Mara sighed as he moved closer, getting drunk off his scent and the deep timbre of his voice. Jared invariably affected her that way. Just that quickly, he could set her body on fire with a desire so strong that it was unstoppable.
“I love you,” she told him softly, looking into his adoring eyes.
“I love you, too, sweetheart,” he rasped, lowering his mouth to hers as he threaded his hands through her hair, undoing her hard work in trying to tame it into an upswept, more sophisticated style.
Any regret she had about her spoiled hair dissolved as she melted into Jared’s embrace.
They were going to be late for the ball, but even that thought was erased from her mind.
A few seconds later, all she could think about was Jared.