Chapter8
Aleisha was a little off-guard the next day when she went into work. She was uncertain if he had picked up any of her romantic thoughts or if he had been oblivious to the heated moment that she had felt between them. She had no idea what to expect, so it was with a long-held breath of relief that she sank into her chair when he greeted her just as he usually did.
He seemed to act as if nothing was wrong, and as if nothing at all had happened. She wondered to herself if it was because it was a late night the night before and she might have been tired, or if she had just imagined it all because it had been on her mind both when she was awake and when she was sleeping, dreaming of him here and there.
Aleisha was glad that everything seemed normal at the office. She wanted it all to go smoothly there, and no matter what emotions might be bubbling underneath her cool exterior, she wanted to be sure that everything at work was kept on a professional level. She hadn’t worked so hard to get through school only to have it fall through her hands because she was trying not to fall for her beautiful and incredibly good boss.
The beautiful and incredibly good boss came into her office a few minutes later and gave her an almost mischievous look.
“We’ve got some work cut out for us today, and I’m going to issue you a challenge regarding it,” he stated as the corner of his mouth turned up in a half-smile.
She raised her eyebrows. “Yeah? I’m up for it. What’s the challenge?”
He walked over to her desk and set down two folders. “Inside these folders is the settlement agreement for every one of the twenty-seven people on the New York Tech bus and the bus driver. We have to get signatures for them today so we can finish getting ready for our meeting with Shaun and George. The challenge is that you’ll take half and I’ll take half, and whoever gets all of their signatures first, wins.”
“What happens to the loser?” she asked interestedly. She liked the way that he had turned their work into a fun game.
“The loser buys dinner for the winner,” he smiled.
“That sounds like a good contest.” She grinned at him. “I’m in. When do we start?”
“Now,” he answered with a gleam in his eye.
“I get the bus driver and the Hendersons!” she announced adamantly.
“Done!” he grinned, pushing her file toward her. “I thought you might ask for that. They’re already in there. Let’s go. Game on!”
She jumped up from her desk and ran for her coat and purse, grabbing the file along the way and narrowing her eyes at the sight of Kyle’s back as he beat her to the elevators.
She sat in her car for a few minutes, sorting through her fourteen pages, putting all of the addresses into her GPS and arranging them so that they were in as much of a geographic linear line as she could get them. She didn’t want to lose time going back and forth. As soon as she had her map set, she put the car in gear and took off.
Two hours later, she sent him a text. “4.” She’d gotten four signatures in two hours, and she was pretty proud of herself. She wanted him to know it. He had stiff competition.
Half an hour later, he texted her back. “6.”
She felt her heart race, and she stepped on the gas and talked as quickly as she could to each house and business that she stopped at, trying not to rush her clients while still trying to beat Kyle. Jeremy signed it right away and thanked her sincerely for all that she had done. Two hours after she had seen Kyle’s last text, he sent her another one. “9.”
She replied with “9.”
They were tied. She hot-footed it as fast as she could go without speeding or running red lights, and without spending too much time talking to anyone, while still doing her best to make them feel like she was there to help them.
Three hours had passed since the last text. “11” she sent, hoping that she was ahead. It was another fifteen minutes before she heard from him. “10,” he answered. She was ahead. She squealed with delight and hurried on her way.
Another hour and a half later, she sent him her final text. “14.” She grinned at the number and the time stamp. She was certain that she had to have won, but she wanted to be sure.
Ten minutes later, he texted her back. “12. You win; I owe you dinner.”
Aleisha laughed with delight and drove back to the firm. She felt as if she was walking on sunshine when she strolled off of the elevators and into the office. She loved that he had made such a fun game of it and that they’d had a healthy competition that had not only gotten the job done fast, but had also seemed to lighten things between them.
She was just passing Grace’s desk as Grace chuckled at her and gave her a high five, when she happened to notice that Kyle’s office door was open. She heard his voice and stopped short. Taking a few steps over to his doorway, she looked in and saw him just getting off his phone. He grinned as he looked up at her, and she blinked in surprise.
“What are you doing here? How could you have beat me back to the office so fast? I thought you’d still be out getting your signatures.” She looked at him in confusion.
He stood up from his desk and walked toward her, sliding his hands into his pants pockets. “Oh, I drive fast. You know that. Anyway, good job on the challenge. You really nailed it today. Well done.” Kyle stopped a short distance from her, giving her his dazzling smile and making her stomach feel as if there were butterflies going wild in it.
“Yeah, it was a lot of fun. Thank you for doing it that way.” She nodded and held the file out to him. “They’re all in there. Did you get all of your signatures?”
He took it from her and gave her a nod. “Yes, I did. Listen, I’ll take you out for dinner tomorrow night if you’re free,” he offered. “Since you won.”
She nodded. “Yes, that will work. Thank you. I’ll check with Julie to make sure she can stay longer with the kids.” Aleisha turned away and walked back to her office trying to figure out how he could have gone from twelve to fourteen and still have beaten her back to the office while losing. She was confounded by it, but she decided to let it go and just enjoy the treat of being the winner and being taken out for dinner with him.
When she got home that evening, Aleisha called her sister’s cell phone. It rang a few times, and finally, Rainy answered.
“Hi! Is everything okay?” she asked worriedly.
“Yeah, I guess everything is fine. I miss you, and I can’t wait for you to come back. Things are crazy here. I’m sorry to call you while you’re on international roaming minutes with your phone, but I need some advice.” Aleisha toyed with one of the buttons on her button-down shirt as she sat on the sofa.
“What’s going on?” Rainy asked curiously.
“It’s my new boss. You know I said he was really good looking… well, he’s also really amazing. Cara’s father had a stroke, and she had to rush out of town suddenly.” She began with the bigger things, hoping to somehow justify what she was thinking and feeling.
“Oh no! Honey, I’m so sorry. Gosh, and we weren’t there to help with the kids… um… who’s watching the kids? Are you working from home or something?” Rainy asked, trying to puzzle it all together in her mind.
“No, actually, the call came in while I was at work, and my boss, Kyle, brought me to the house and stayed with the kids while I went on an important appointment. Then he found one of the best nannies in the city and hired her to come in and start watching the kids the very next day. It’s been crazy. She’s amazing. I have no idea when Cara is going to come back, so this is really a life saver.” Aleisha sighed and turned to look out of the window to the city street below.
“Well, that’s good news. That was nice of him. What’s the problem?” Rainy asked, seeming to know already that there was a lot more to it than what Aleisha had told her.
“The problem is that I’m having a hard time keeping a level head about him. He’s just so… so nice, and he is taking really good care of me, and aside from you and grandma, I can’t remember the last time anyone took care of me. I’ve been doing most of it all on my own for so long, it’s just strange. I think… I hate to say this, but I feel like I’m developing a crush on him.” Aleisha could barely believe the words that had just come from her mouth. They sounded foreign to her ears.
“Oh, no you don’t!” Rainy stopped her right there. “Don’t you even talk like that! I don’t know what’s going on there, but you need to get your head back in the game right now. You have worked way too hard for way too long, like all of your life, to get where you are. The last thing you need right now, or at any time in the future, is to fall for a man who is in a position of authority over you. That’s just asking for trouble. No good is going to come of that! You need to let go of those kinds of crazy ideas right now. Do you hear me?” Rainy pulled her ‘older sister’ voice out and lambasted Aleisha with it.
“I know! I know…” Aleisha sighed miserably. “Believe me, I’ve told myself exactly the same thing, and I do know better, but I just can’t seem to stop thinking about him, and god help me, every time that man gets too near to me, it’s all I can do not to just reach out and kiss him.” She groaned and covered her eyes with her hand.
“You already know better. You didn’t need me to tell you anything; you just needed me to kick your butt back into the right place because you are way too swept up in romantic notions to kick your own butt back. This is not okay, Aleisha. This is not normal. You can’t do it. You need to hold all of those feelings back and get rid of them.
“They’re not going to do you any good, no matter how he responds to them. He might say yes to you and he might say no, but it doesn’t matter what he says because either one of those is only going to wind up bringing you trouble, and you know I’m right.” Rainy sounded more serious than she had in ages.
“Okay, sis. I know you’re right. We’re both thinking the same thing here. I just need to get a hold of my emotions and control them. I can’t fall for my boss. Not even a little. Okay.” She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, letting the air out slowly. When she opened her eyes again, she decided to change the subject. The less she talked about him and thought about him, the better it was going to be. “How’s Mexico, and how are you and grandma doing?”
“Mexico is beautiful. The ship is really fancy; the water is gorgeous. We’ve see dolphins and whales and eaten everything in sight twice, and grandma won a dance contest on the ship. It’s like she’s twenty-five. I even caught her flirting with some of the older guys and the waiters. She’s on fire!” Rainy began to laugh, and Aleisha laughed with her.
“I’m so glad to hear that! Well, you keep having a great time. Bring me lots of pictures and stories. When are you coming home?” Aleisha was surprised that she wasn’t even sure how long they’d be gone.
“We’ll be home in a week.” Rainy answered.
“Good. I miss you. I can’t wait for you to come back. Have a fantastic time!” Aleisha bid her sister goodbye and thanked her for the helpful advice. She had already known it all, deep in her heart and at the back of her mind, but it was good to hear. The reassurance that she should keep her thoughts focused on business and let the growing attraction to her boss go was a big help.
She would go have dinner with Kyle the next night, and it wasn’t going to be a date.
Aleisha was just settling in for the evening with a glass of wine and a good book, curled up on the sofa with a thin blanket over her, when there was a knock at the door. She looked up at it in surprise and was still for a moment, wondering who would be coming over at such an hour.
With a sigh, she set her half-emptied glass of merlot on the table and laid her book face down. She pushed the blanket off and stood up, walking warily to the door.
She glanced through the peephole in her door to see who it was, and the moment her eye focused on her visitor, she hung her head down and groaned. Another knock sounded, more persistent than the first.
Reaching for the door handle, she turned it, pulled the door open as far as the width of her body, and planted her hand on her hip. Standing there before her was a man. He had on dark blue jeans and a jersey. He wore his black curled hair cropped close to his head with a ball cap over it. His skin was slightly darker than hers; his eyes were wide, framed with thick lashes, his nose wide, his lips full, and his neck and form broad -- though not all of it was muscle, much of it was extra weight.
“Hey, baby. I was hoping you were alone tonight so we could talk,” he began in a quiet voice, his eyes trained on her.
She pressed her lips into a thin line. “I don’t think we have anything to talk about, Damien,” she told him unwaveringly.
He tilted his head to the side and slid his hands into his pockets partway, leaving them hanging halfway out as his voice took on a slightly whiney tone. “Yeah, we do, babe… we have a lot to talk about. Come on. You got someone in there tonight? Is that what it is?” he asked, scowling at the door as if anyone behind it other than himself shouldn’t be there.
“No, Damien, there’s no one here but the kids and me. I have to work tomorrow, and it’s already half past eight. It’s late. I need to get to sleep,” she stated firmly, keeping her eyes on him.
He took a step toward her, his big body filling the frame of the door. “Come on, let’s just talk for a few minutes, and then I’ll leave. I promise. I miss you, and I want to know how you’re doing, and how the kids are. I haven’t seen you in a minute, and I just need to stop by and see you. Come on, let me in. Just for a few. I won’t stay long.”
Aleisha knew that she was making a mistake. She knew that if she let him in, he would try to stay longer than a few minutes. She knew in the back of her mind that she was going to regret it, but something about his pleading tone touched her heart, and she relented with a heavy sigh.
“Alright,” she said quietly, “come in, but just for a few minutes, and then you’re going to have to go.” She meant it, and she gave him a sharp look that told him she meant it.
He nodded, and his forlorn expression turned almost immediately to one of happiness. He smiled wide and stepped through the door, closing it behind him and then reaching for her hands. He held them in his for a moment and looked her up and down slowly.
“You sure are looking good, baby. I don’t know what you’re doing, but whatever it is, you need to keep doing it, ‘cause it’s working. You’re smoking hot.” He grinned and nodded his head at her.
She rolled her eyes and looked away, but she did smile a little because it was nice to hear someone say something so flattering, especially when it was an ex-boyfriend. It was somewhere between ‘eat your heart out because you could have had this’ and ‘I’m so much better off without you,’ and it tasted good in her mind.
Aleisha was going to let go of his hands, but he pulled her toward him and nuzzled the side of her face, kissing her cheek. “Mmm, you smell good too, baby. Just like you always did. I remember this scent. It always makes me think of you, and it makes me miss you so bad.”
His voice was low and deep, and she felt an old familiar knot form in her lower belly as he spoke near her ear. She pulled away from him and took her seat on the sofa, regretting that she hadn’t sat in the armchair when he sat beside her and left almost no space between them.
“So, what you been up to, baby?” he asked, wrapping an arm around the back of the sofa and leaning in close to her.
She sat forward more toward the edge of the cushion and tried to put a little air in between them. “I’m working a lot, as usual, and raising the kids. That’s about it, really.”
She didn’t want to go into all of the specifics with him. He didn’t need to know that her grandmother and sister were on a cruise in Mexico, that the babies were nearly a year old, that she’d gotten a big promotion at work, and that she was wrestling with a serious crush on her new boss. No, she thought, he didn’t need to know any of that.
“How come you don’t call me no more?” Damien asked, reaching his hand up and running two of his fingers ever so lightly down the side of her arm. “You haven’t called me in a long time, and I wish you would. I miss you. We were good together.”
She frowned and turned to look over her shoulder at him. “It doesn’t matter if we were good together because you didn’t know if you wanted to stay together. We tried it, Damien. We did. I gave you a lot of my time, and you just couldn’t make up your mind if you wanted me or if you wanted to be single. You decided that a commitment to me and a family of our own just wasn’t important enough to you.
“That’s why I never call you. If I was worth something to you, you’d be sitting here right now as my husband and the father to my babies, not as someone I haven’t seen in ages. I don’t even know what you’re doing here!”
Ire had begun to rise in her. The soft light in the room shone on his dark skin, giving it a golden glow. She had spent what felt like eons looking at his face during all of the time they were together – sometimes when he was awake, and sometimes when he was sleeping beside her. Oftentimes imagining what their children would look like: if they would have his big eyes and thick lips or her high cheek bones and delicate facial features. She wondered if they would favor him more in build, or be more like her, or be some exotic and beautiful blend of them both.
She had wondered what kind of husband he would be; if he would be one who surprised her with unexpected bouquets of flowers and dinners out on the town, or if he would sit on the sofa with his feet on the dining room table on Sundays, watching football and yelling at the television. She wondered if he’d be the kind of dad who took his kids to the park and pushed them on the swing or read them bedtime stories, or if he’d be a weekend father, only there when he wasn’t working during the week.
She had wondered a great many things about him in their years together, but all of the things that she’d wondered all boiled down to one thing, and that was if he was ever going to marry her and start a family with her.
“Baby,” he began in a velvet tone, leaning close to her, “I was just scared, that’s all. I’ve always loved you, you know that. I wanted to be with you; I just wanted to keep it like it was because I didn’t want to risk the future. It’s all unknown, you know… when we were together, we knew who we were and what we had.
“You wanted to change that, and I was just afraid to make any changes. It was so perfect for us that I didn’t want to risk anything. I didn’t want to take any chances. I was scared that I’d lose you and what we had, and then I ended up losing it all with you, anyway.”
She scowled at him. “Well, if you’d believed in us, we could have made it. If you’d wanted anything more than what we had, like I did, we could have been together for the rest of our lives and it would have been even better than it was, but you couldn’t see that. You couldn’t see what you had when you had it and that we had the potential to become even more and have such an incredible life!”
He nodded sadly. “I know that now. Letting you go was the worst mistake I’ve ever made, and believe me, I’ve been paying for it since. That’s why I came to talk with you tonight. Not a day goes by that you aren’t on my mind. I just can’t get over it. I ruined what we had, and that’s going to haunt me forever. It doesn’t have to be that way, though…” he trailed his fingertips down her arm again and gazed longingly into her eyes.
“We could fix this. We could make it right. I know you still feel something for me. I can sense it. I can feel it when we’re close, when I touch you…” he leaned closer and took her hand in his, lifting it to his mouth. Closing his eyes, he slowly and tenderly kissed her fingers and then looked up at her with pleading eyes. “We’re worth a second shot, aren’t we, baby? Come on… think about it. We could be so good together again.”
She hesitated for a long moment. Feeling the long-gone but not forgotten draw of his lips on her skin, she remembered how it used to be between them. Him always wanting her, him loving being a couple with her and making her feel so physically desired. Something in her mind caught then, and she lowered a brow thoughtfully.
That was just the thing, she told herself. He had always made her feel physically desired, and that was delicious when it was happening, but he hadn’t really made her feel like he wanted her as his wife, only as a lover – someone smart and beautiful to have on his arm.
He had made her feel like she was good enough to have around as a companion but not enough to be elevated to the lofty and worthy position of his spouse. She’d never been quite enough to make him want her that way, and she had finally realized that she was worth far more than the value he placed on her. It was why she had finally had to give him an ultimatum and break away from him, and she knew that it never should have come to that.
She knew that if he had truly loved her and appreciated her, she never would have had to take it to the red line, and when he’d failed to cross it, she knew that she had to put herself and her future first. She’d left him, and she’d started her own family. Now, there he was, sitting beside her and begging her for a second chance.
It made her feel so many different things. It made her feel justification that he might have finally realized just how good she was, and she hoped that maybe he could finally see in her what he should have been seeing in her all along. She wondered if he was just lonely and feeling his age and his dwindling options for a life partner and was hoping to cash in on their history and use her as a last chance saving grace. She wondered if he really meant it, and if he had somehow grown up and become immeasurably more responsible and genuine.
Narrowing her eyes, she lifted her chin and spoke the core of the myriad of thoughts rushing through her mind. She had to know the truth, if he could manage to speak it to her. “Why are you really here? What is it that you really want?”
He raised his brows innocently and shrugged. “What? I want you, and I want to see about trying to be a family.”
Doubt cast a shadow over her, and she eyed him closely. “You want a family. Now. After I tried to get you to commit to one for so long, and it was the last thing you wanted, now you’re going to come to my home and sit here and tell me that you want to have a family?”
Damien nodded. “Yeah… well, a lot has changed for me. I want a family now. I know you have kids already, but you don’t have a guy around, right?”
She shook her head subtly. “No, there’s no one in my life. It’s just the kids and me.”
He gave her an encouraging smile. “Well, then see? That’s perfect. That will work out. We can get back together and give it a try. I mean, maybe it could work out. How bad could those kids be anyway, right? It would probably be okay. Not that big a deal.”
Fire surged through her in a flood. “How bad could the kids be? Did you really just say that to me?”
Damien waved his hands in the air before him like he was trying to stop traffic. “No, wait. Baby, I’m sorry. That’s not what I meant.”
She vaulted up off the couch and stood over him, glaring down at him, her hand curling into a fist. “No, don’t try to backtrack on this. You just said what you were really thinking. You just gave yourself away. You’re not here for a family. You’re not here to become a dad or to have kids in your life. You’re here to try to get me back so you can have me just the way you did, and you’re so desperate to try to get me back that you’re willing to try to put up with the kids in order to get what you want, and what you want is me and only me. Well, that’s not going to happen.”
Aleisha turned, marched to the front door, and yanked it open, spinning on her foot. She looked back at him. Damien was gaping at her from his seat on the sofa.
“Get out,” she growled at him. “There’s no place for you here, and it’s time for you to leave.”
He rose from his seat and walked to her slowly and carefully as if he was attempting to approach a dangerous and wild animal.
“Hey, come on now, baby, it’s not like that! Don’t be like this, baby. I’m here trying to talk, trying to find a way to get us back together again. I didn’t… I didn’t say that right about the kids. I wanted you to know that I want to try to be a father to them and a husband to you. I just… I said it wrong. Come on. Just calm down and let’s talk about this like two adults, right? Let’s try to find a way to work this out.
“We can do it. I don’t know much about kids, that’s all. I meant that it wouldn’t be too bad to give it a try. It might even be good if we give it some time and you give me some room to try to get used to it. That’s all. It’s just different than anything I’ve done before.” He reached his hand out to her, and she pushed it away.
“Don’t touch me. You can’t just walk in here after all this time and expect me to let you in. You can’t be gone all that time and just show up again and think you’re going to step into this role of husband and father that I begged and pleaded with you to be before, when you didn’t want anything to do with it.
“What do you think is going to happen here? You think you’re going to walk in here and just take over as the husband and father and be the head of the family? No. No way. Here’s what you don’t understand. The kids and I, we have a life. We have a good life, all on our own, without you, without anyone else. If you come in here, you’re only going to mess it all up, and I’m not about to let that happen. Now, get out.” She jabbed her finger toward the space in the hallway and clenched her jaw.
He furrowed his brow angrily and drew in a deep breath as he stood taller and pushed his chest out. “You don’t get it, Aleisha. I’m here trying to make a future for us, and you just can’t see it. I’m not going to give up on you, but you don’t get it. I’m not done trying to work this out with you. I’m not done trying to get you back.
“I’m going to convince you. I’m going to make you see it. We’re better together, and I’m not going to give up on you or us. I’m going to change your mind, one way or another. If you don’t give us a chance now, things are going to get serious. You’re about to make a big mistake. Take a minute to think about this, and let’s make it real right now.
“I want you, and I’m back here to get you, and if that means I have to have the kids around, then I’ll work that out, but I’m not letting you go again! Now, think carefully about this! I’m being serious about us, Aleisha. You’re mine, I want you back, and I’m willing to do anything to make that happen!”
“Get out!” she raised her voice and glared hotly at him. “You had your chance with me and, you blew it! It’s never going to happen again! You leave now, or I’m calling the police!”
He clamped his jaw down tightly, shook his head slowly as if she had just gone much too far, and then he turned and strode angrily from the room. He looked back at her as he passed through the doorway. “I’m not giving up on you. This isn’t over.”
She slammed the door and locked it, growling furiously at his audacity. She hadn’t seen him since right before she had decided to have the babies. He’d tried to get in touch with her a few times through emails and texts, but nothing in person. She wondered why he had decided that he had to have her back in his life and that he didn’t want to let her go.
It was crazy. He had always been the one to come after her when she’d leave, but then, when he’d had her, he hadn’t seemed to want her for more as than a lover. It was maddening to her. She might have fallen for his smooth lines and romantic tenderness a few times before, but he had been out of her life for a year and a half, and she wasn’t about to let him back in. She had herself and her babies to think of, and the last thing she was going to do was let her ex back in to destroy what she had so carefully built.
The phone rang, and she went to her coffee table and swiped it up in her hand in frustration, wondering who could be calling her so late, and hoping that it wasn’t Damien.
“Hello?” she asked, swiping her finger over the screen and answering in the least gruff voice that she could manage.
“Hello, Aleisha? This is Julie. I’m afraid I won’t be able to come in the morning to watch the children for you. I’m so sorry for any inconvenience. This shouldn’t come up again, however.” She sounded sorry, and Aleisha felt her shoulders fall.
Standing there with her hand over her eyes, she wondered what else could possibly go wrong that night. “Alright. Thank you for calling me. I guess we’ll see you the day after tomorrow.”