Chapter5
The amazement of what she had agreed to do stayed with Jamaica constantly in her waking hours, and even haunted her dreams in places. She hadn’t heard back from Andre at all since he had left her front porch after he agreed to let her do the job only because of the money, though she wasn’t at all concerned with his permission.
She had been disappointed to think that the pregnancy might affect their relationship as much as he said it would, and she didn’t know what would really happen with them on an intimate level, but she did know that when he said he wouldn’t be intimate with her while she was pregnant with another man’s child, he meant it. It gnawed at the back of her mind that she would not know how things would be between them until they happened, but that no matter what, it didn’t look good.
Jamaica tried to keep her attention and her focus on her classroom and students the following day, and Penny swung by the classroom for a few minutes at lunch to say hello to her and to plan where they were meeting up for their girls’ night out, drinking cocktails and guy hunting.
Jamaica felt like she was in a dream, almost floating through reality as everything around her seemed to buzz, but she did her best to remain as present as she could. She wondered if she was in some kind of shock over the decision that she had made.
The day seemed to fly by for her, and before she knew it, it was time to meet up with Penny. She had chosen a pretty, light blue dress that fell to her mid-thigh and danced somewhat loosely around her form. It had slender sleeves to the elbows and a scoop neckline. Jamaica had put her shoulder length hair up in a light twist at the back of her head and slipped on some silver earrings and a silver necklace. She wanted to look pretty without looking like she might be an option for anyone to take home. She was bait, as her friend had advised her, and that was all.
She was glad that she wasn’t out in the playing field any longer. She didn’t know how Penny did it, constantly on dating sites and in and out of bars or different places like that, looking for true love with a good man. It’s nearly impossible, Jamaica thought to herself. She hoped that Penny would be lucky and somehow find the love of her life, but she felt as if she was standing on the sidelines, watching in almost horror at the dating life.
Jamaica had met Andre at a friend’s party. They had been friends of his, and one of her other girlfriends had been chasing a guy that was going to the party. She had begged Jamaica to go to the party with her so she could see the guy, and Jamaica being the good wing woman she was, had gone to the party and she’d met Andre. Her friend’s attempt at chasing the guy she liked had fizzled out when he showed up with his own date, but they had stayed long enough while they were waiting for that guy to show up that Jamaica had met Andre, and she had enjoyed talking to him. He’d asked her out for coffee on the following day, and it had just evolved from there.
Some of Jamaica’s friends had been surprised that she had agreed to date Andre exclusively, and they had wondered at what it might be that connected them because her friends could see no common ground between them, but she had assured them that she and Andre got along and that it was fine being with him. It wasn’t the kind of passionate love that flowed from the pages of romance novels or glowed on the screens of romance movies, but it was all right, and though Jamaica’s friends had said in honest moments that they thought she was settling for less than what she deserved, she was sure that it would be okay.
At least she had been sure until she had heard him say that he didn’t want children. That, too, had been rattling around in her mind from the moment he had left her, and she hadn’t been able to stop thinking about it or worrying about it. They hadn’t really discussed it at any length prior to that, and she had begun to wish that they had. Having a family was important to her, and it was a goal she wasn’t ready to let go of. It hadn’t been an option for her at any time. She had guessed that he would want a family too someday, and though she knew that they should have talked about it at some point, they never had, and now she was facing a pregnancy that would not be giving her a family, her own babies, and they would go to another home and she would never see them again, while she and her boyfriend would wind up never having children. That was, if she stayed with him.
It had become obvious to her that if having a family was so important to her, that she would have to let him go and find someone else to have a family with. She was going to have a tough choice ahead of her, and it wasn’t one that she was looking forward to in any way. She tried not to dwell on it too much, as she knew that no decisions would be made while she was carrying the babies for Henry Ellison anyway, but it still weighed at the back of her mind that she was going to have to make a decision at some point in time to come.
She walked into the bar and saw Penny sitting on a barstool with a martini in her hand. Penny waved and Jamaica walked over to her, feeling the eyes of men in the seats around her, as they gazed at her and caressed her body with their gazes. It seemed so strange to her that dating and mating was such a meat market. She didn’t like it at all.
Penny wrapped her arms around Jamaica in a warm and excited hug as Jamaica took a seat and told the bartender what she would be drinking. Penny bubbled happily, glad to see her.
“Thank you so much for coming out tonight! You look perfect! Just enough to help me draw them in, without being too serious about it. How are you doing?” She smiled blissfully at her friend.
Jamaica shrugged and thanked the bartender for her drink when he brought it. Lifting it to her lips, she took a long slow pull of it and set it back on the bar. “Well… that’s something we’re going to talk about tonight,” she began, and Penny raised her eyebrows in surprise. “Do you want to sit at a booth or table, or should we stay here?” Jamaica asked curiously as she looked around the room.
It was done in a contemporary style, and that kind of décor gave the place a little more sophistication than some of the run-down-looking bars Penny had visited when she had first taken it upon herself to go man hunting a couple of years before.
“No, we need to stay here at the bar. That makes us look approachable. Guys have to come up to order drinks here anyway, so that enables conversation. It’s easier for them than if we’re sitting at a table talking and they decide to come up to us and talk to us. There’s a greater risk to them that they might get sent away in front of everyone if we are at a table, but if we’re at the bar and we tell them off, no one would really notice because it would just look like they are up here for a drink. There’s a careful science to this.” She winked at Jamaica and sipped her cocktail, and then tilted her head a little bit.
“So what is it that we’re going to talk about?” she asked.
Jamaica sighed long and slow and gazed down into the glass in her hand for a moment. She smiled a little and laughed softly. Lifting it, she took a sip and then raised her eyes to look at her friend. “Well, I’ll say this. I won’t be able to have any more of these after this week.”
Penny stared at her. “What do you mean? What are you talking about? Why can’t you have any more of those after this week?”
“I’ll be pregnant, if everything goes well this week,” Jamaica answered her simply, with a soft chuckle.
Penny’s mouth fell full open. “Pregnant? How… what are you… are you pregnant now?”
Jamaica shook her head. “No, I know I’m not pregnant right now.”
“Then how…” she stared at Jamaica in confusion and concern. “Are you and Andre doing some kind of… I thought you said you two weren’t even talking about being engaged, let alone starting a family! How could you be talking about babies?” Penny shook her head, mystified.
“Andre and I aren’t talking about babies. As a matter of fact, we did just have that talk, and it didn’t go well. I guess I should have asked him sooner, but I didn’t and now I’m stuck in a weird place. He doesn’t want to have kids. Like… ever. You know I do want kids. I want a family. It’s been a dream of mine since I was a young girl, but I guess he and I never really talked about it seriously and I just assumed that he would want kids, and now I know that he doesn’t and he won’t. I will have some tough choices to make in the year ahead when it comes to him and our future together.” Jamaica sighed and took another sip of her drink.
Music played in the air around them and the gentle hum of conversation blended with the songs. Penny looked at her in consternation. “Well, if he doesn’t want to have kids, then how are you going to be pregnant later?”
Jamaica took a deep breath. There it was. There was the doorway to the discussion. “I accepted a job as a surrogate mother for a guy who wants kids but isn’t married. He’s going to pay me to have babies for him. I go in for the appointment this week. Artificial insemination.”
Penny stared at her for a moment and then burst out laughing and laughed until a couple of tears sipped from the corners of her eyes. “Oh my lord, you really had me going there for a minute. You looked so serious… I really thought that…” she managed to speak through her fit of laughter. She looked back at Jamaica and her laughter and mirth began to subside and fade, like a wave pulling away from the shoreline.
“You’re… you’re still serious about this…” she said quietly as she realized that Jamaica wasn’t kidding. “Oh my god. You’re serious about this. You’re not kidding. Oh my god…” her eyes grew wide and her hand flew to her mouth as she stared at Jamaica. “You’re going to carry some guy’s kid?”
“Kids. He wants a multiple birth,” Jamaica answered her quietly. “Yes, I am. It’s official.”
Penny gaped at her for a long moment, and finally shook her head. “Oh my god. I can’t believe that. I can’t even wrap my head around that. I know you’re serious now… but, how in the world did that even happen? Did you talk to Andre about this at all? What did he have to say about it?”
Jamaica sighed. “It happened because when I was twenty and in college, and trying to make money to pay off student loans and get by and things like that, I signed up for a surrogacy program at a fertility clinic. I thought it would be no big deal if I had a nine-month pregnancy during college and then didn’t keep the baby. I knew it would be good money, and I could pay off my debts and even be ahead, so I signed up for it. Well, I never got called for a case until now, and ironically, I was about to be taken off the availability list, this week in fact. I haven’t given the clinic any thought in years, but I guess the guy who was looking for someone to carry his children for him found my profile, or his secretary did, and they chose me, right before my contract with the clinic was up. I met with the secretary and we talked it all out and I took the job.”
Shaking her head slowly, Penny stared at her. “I can’t believe this. I really can’t. Wow.” She processed the concept for a few moments, and Jamaica waited until she was ready to talk about it before she said more.
“I did talk to Andre about it. He wasn’t happy at all. In fact, we got into a kind of fight about it, and it didn’t go so well. He only agreed to it because of the money that I’ll be making off it. But we also talked about having a family, and now I know that he doesn’t ever want one. That’s a huge issue for me because I do want kids. I’ve got some serious things to think about now, and I’ll have to think about them while I’m pregnant and having this other guy’s babies.” Jamaica picked her glass up and took another long sip of her drink.
Penny stared at her and shook her head. “My god,” she said quietly. She turned away, thoughtful and quiet as she considered what she had heard. Then a long moment later, she looked back at Jamaica. “Well, as crazy as you might be for doing this, I just want you to know that I’m here for you, and I will be glad to help you with whatever you need… Going to doctor appointments or anything like that. I’ve got your back, but… wow. Why in the world would you ever say yes to it? Why did Andre say yes to it?”
“I said yes to it for two reasons. One, because the money was too good to pass up, and two, because I’m helping someone who can’t have a family on his own, by giving him the family he wants. That’s pretty big to me. That’s one of the greatest gifts that anyone could give.” She smiled, thinking of what that had come to mean to her. “Andre said no until he heard about the money, and then he said yes. So, we know what his reasons are.”
Penny frowned sharply. “Wait a minute… he’s just your boyfriend! He’s not your fiancé or your husband or anything. How does he even get a say about this or any interest in the money? He’s not going to get his hands on any of the money, right? I mean, you get pregnant, you carry those kids, and you get paid… Then that’s your money not his, and he has no right to a single dime, as far as I’m concerned. Right? Tell me that’s what you think… please.”
“That’s what I think, but if we are engaged, then I would feel like the money would be for both of us. I wouldn’t keep anything from him if we were getting married,” Jamaica said thoughtfully.
“But you aren’t engaged and you’re not getting married to him, at least no right now, so he’s not touching the money, I hope,” Penny replied adamantly. “So how much are we talking about anyway? Couple grand or something?”
“Five hundred thousand dollars,” Jamaica answered, enjoying seeing the expression of shock that overtook her friend’s face.
“Oh my god! Half a million? That guy is paying you half a million to give him kids?” Her eyes were wide and her eyebrows shot up on her forehead. “Maybe I’d better look into having kids for other people. Shoot. One year of work and I’d be set for five years or more. If I was careful. If I had one kid every year for a few years, my body would be shot but I’d have millions of dollars and I could buy a new body.” She shook her head.
Jamaica leaned in closer to her. “I don’t think they all pay that much. I think he’s just a wealthy guy who wants a family pretty badly, so he’s throwing a lot of money at it to make it happen.”
Penny’s excitement dimmed some. “Yeah, that sounds about right. I should have known that would be a rare bird, finding a deal like that. If that was a common occurrence, then a whole lot more people would be doing it, I know that.”
“That’s true,” Jamaica answered and Penny looked at her and sighed in wonder.
“Wow… so you’re going to go get pregnant with more than one kid this week, and in nine months, you have the kids, and get paid for it?” Penny asked as she finished her drink off.
“That’s about the size of it. Yes,” Jamaica answered quietly.
“You scared?” Penny asked, waving at the bartender for another drink.
“Yes, I am. I’m a little excited too, though. It’ll be a good trial run for me to find out what it’s like to be pregnant and then when I have my own family, I’ll already know.” She sighed and frowned. “If I have my own family. I have to work that out with Andre.” She wasn’t sure if it could be worked out with him, but she wasn’t going to think about it right at that moment.
A dark look crossed Penny’s face and she kept silent as the bartender handed her another drink. The dark look passed after a moment and she gave Jamaica a little smile. “You know, the real tragedy here is that I’m going to lose my amazing wing woman.” She pouted a little and then gave Jamaica a conspiratorial look.
“We could work that out though… You can keep coming out with me and just drink virgin drinks all the way up to when you start showing, and hopefully by then I’ll have found someone worth having around for a while!” She looked as if she was sure that that plan would work best.
Jamaica just laughed at her. “Okay, okay. I’ll at least give you that. I want to see you settled in happily with someone good, so I’m willing to make that kind of a sacrifice for you, plus it’s fun to hang out with you like this. Even if I’m drinking virgin drinks.”
There had still been no word from Andre by the next afternoon when Jamaica had gotten off work. She had waited for him to contact her, to talk to her, to ask about coming over, to make some kind of move toward her after he had left her on her porch the way that he had.
She went home and ate a little, and though she had put it off as long as she could stand it, she finally decided to call him. His line rang for a while before he answered it.
“Hey,” he said quietly. She felt her heart skip a beat, and she wondered if he was still angry with her.
“Hi,” she replied in a soft voice. “I was wondering how you’re doing. I haven’t heard from you.” She didn’t say it with an accusatory voice, but instead it was more like a disappointment.
“I haven’t had anything to say. You dumped quite a problem in my lap and decided that you were going to do it. The only reason I’m allowing it is because of the money.” His voice had a sharp edge to it.
She bit her tongue, rather that snapping back at him that she didn’t need to be allowed to do it, that she was an adult and her own person and was quite capable of making her own decisions about her life. She swallowed that retort and reminded herself of why she was calling him to begin with.
Besides missing him, she had begun to feel apprehension growing in her at a rapidly increasing rate and she felt as if she needed to ask what she knew would be an enormous favor. “Andre… I know you’re feeling a little unhappy about this, but I wanted to talk with you about something.”
“What is it?” he asked shortly.
“Well, I go in for the procedure tomorrow. I took the day off work. I’m all ready for it, but I’m really starting to feel nervous. I’m afraid of what’s going to happen tomorrow. I wondered if you would go with me. You know, be there with me and hold my hand. I need someone to support me in this and help keep me calm. Will you come with me please?” she asked hopefully, her heart skipping in her chest quickly.
He gasped. “You must be joking. Have you lost your mind? You want me to go with you and hold your hand while some doctor sticks some other man’s kid in you? What in the hell are you thinking? How could you even ask me that?”
His voice grew louder and harsher. “I can’t even believe you brought this up and called me to ask me this. My god! I don’t even want to be around you while you’re carrying his kids, and you’re asking me to be there when they get shoved up in you? You must be crazy, woman. How could you even ask me that? You listen to me. This is your deal. This is your insane problem. If you’re scared, that’s your own damn fault and that’s got nothing to do with me. You leave me the hell out of this. I want no part of it. You want to do this ridiculous thing, you go do it on your own. You don’t ask me to be a part of it. I’m not getting involved. I want nothing to do with it. You’re on your own for that. You’re scared? Good. You should be. You should be terrified as hell, because you’re doing the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard of. No… you go in on your own and do it, if this is what you want to do. You suffer through it. You want some other guy’s kid in you, you do that by yourself. Don’t call me up and ask me to be there and support you while you’re having his kid put in your body. I can’t even believe you called me and asked me this. That is just insane.”
She was going to say something, but she couldn’t find her voice. Tears blinded her eyes and she tried in vain to swallow the massive lump in her throat. Her fingers were locked tight around the phone and she closed her eyes as the teardrops spilled over her thick lashes and rolled down her cheeks.
“Nah, you go do that on your own, and you leave me the hell out of it. I have to go. Bye.” He hung up. There was silence in her ear and she set the phone down and covered her face with her hands, weeping as she let the full effect of her emotions wash over her.
***
She was quiet as she readied herself for the procedure the next morning. She drove herself to the clinic and said only what she had to when she spoke to the receptionist. She waited in silence in the reception room and when she was called back to the examination room where the procedure would take place, she felt as if she was moving through some kind of dream.
Jamaica was dressed in a gown and laid back on the table. The light in the room was a cool blue fluorescent that seemed to crackle and hum a little. There was classical music playing over a speaker at a barely audible level. The nurses and doctor were polite and friendly, but not overly so.
Jamaica began to tremble as two big fat tears slipped from the corners of her eyes as she laid there, and rolled down the sides of her head into her hair. She closed her eyes and told herself over and over again that it would all be all right, that it would work out, and that she had chosen to do it, that she wanted to do it, and that she wasn’t going to regret it at all. Not ever.
She tried to think of things that she loved during the procedure. Summers she had spent with family and friends in wonderful places, holidays that had been filled with cheer and laughter. Funny stories that came up now and again when she got together with old friends.
She focused on all those kinds of things, and everything from how much she loved chocolate cake to what it sounded and felt like to be in a huge cathedral when the choir was singing and their voices echoed off of the old stone walls and felt as if they were moving right through her.
She was so focused on her positive train of thoughts that she was startled when the nurse took her hand and gave it a squeeze. The warm skin of the nurse’s hand felt like the most precious comfort in the world to her.
“It’s all done. You’re all set now!” The nurse smiled at her.
She blinked and sat up. She looked around the room and looked down at her belly, which looked exactly the same as it had that morning. She wondered if there was a baby taking form inside her, or a few of them.
“Did it work?” she asked sitting up and looking from the nurse to the doctor.
He smiled and gave her a nod. “We’re going to do a blood test in two weeks to make sure that this took, and that the pregnancy is definitely a go, but I feel confident that it worked, and that we will have a positive test when you come back in for blood work in a couple of weeks.”
She felt a surge of relief and something akin to excitement flood through her. “Do I need to contact Cara Landers or Henry Ellison to let them know about this procedure today and the outcome or is that something that you do?”
He shrugged. “If you’re in contact with them you may, but we will be calling them to let them know about the results either way. It’s part of what we do.”
Jamaica nodded. “Okay. I’ll let you do that then. I’ll make an appointment and see you in two weeks. Thank you so much!”
She went home and spent the afternoon taking it easy and resting as the nurse had instructed her to do. Partway through the afternoon, her phone rang and she was surprised to see that it was Andre.
“Hello?” she asked, wondering nervously how the conversation would go and why it was that he was calling her.
“Well, did you go?” he asked with a gruff curiosity.
“Yes, I did,” she answered in a quiet voice.
“So are you pregnant?” It sounded important to him that he find out right away.
She sighed and closed her eyes, trying to relax and not feel the stress that was edging around her. “I won’t know for two weeks. I go in for a blood test then, and I’ll find out.”
He was quiet for a long moment, and she said nothing as she waited for his response. “Well, I’m not happy about how you’re doing this, but I understand that the money is good. I just want to be sure that there won’t be any interaction after the kid is born. I don’t want babies around. I just want you to myself. No kids. So you said you aren’t going to have anything to do with them, right?”
A small bubble of frustration formed in her. “Yes. I did say that. I’m not going to be involved in anything after they are born. They take the babies and I take the money and that’s it. There’s no point where I’m involved with them afterward. It will be just the two of us again.”
“Good,” he said briefly. “I’m going to go.” He told her goodbye and hung up.
She ended the call and set her phone down on the table with a shake of her head. She hadn’t wondered at any point if it was the wrong thing to do, or if she shouldn’t. It had felt right to her, even though it was surprising, it had felt like something that she wanted to do from the first phone call.
She let the doubt and worry go and she focused with positive thought on what she hoped would happen, on the possible pregnancy she had, and what the next nine months would be like.
She promised herself that it was going to be good.
***
Two weeks passed, and Jamaica went to the doctor’s office and took the blood test. It was positive. She was going to carry and give birth to at least one baby, with high hopes that it would be more than one. She felt like everything in her life was changing.