Entry 12: Plan I – Retaliation

Date: April 5, 2013

“I’m sure it’s nothing to worry about,” I said soothingly into the phone.

“What do you mean it’s nothing to worry about?” the phone screeched back at me, causing me to cringe and pull it away from my ear.

“Delilah, what I’m trying to say is—”

“My parents and the entire school finding out that Mr. Lancaster and I have been having sex is something to worry about, Seven!” Delilah half-whispered half-yelled on the other side of the line.

I sighed exasperatedly. “Well, who told you guys to go at it in school?” I snapped and for a moment Delilah was stunned into silence.

I normally wouldn’t have gotten mad at anyone coming to me for advice or telling me their problems, even when they’d gotten really annoying already, but I wasn’t exactly in the best shape that morning.

Being woken up by a phone call before the sun even had the chance to rise was one of the factors contributing to it.

The other was that I was angry at myself for not getting a move on taking the black notebook back and even choosing to hold off any plans for two days since I’d last seen Colin.

It wasn’t like it was because of my losing the black notebook that Delilah and Mr. Lancaster got caught—it was their own fault, actually—but I still felt guilty over the fact that other people might go through the same thing she was going through right then if I didn’t get it back as soon as possible.

Delilah’s voice cracked as she stuttered, “W-We didn’t think anyone w-would be at school since its spring break…”

Apparently Delilah and Mr. Lancaster had been together for weeks now. At first I thought it was only one-sided, but when Delilah found out that Mr. Lancaster was going back to school to gather some papers he’d forgotten, she decided to drop him a visit. She was thinking only of a brief make out, but it ended up getting way further than either of them had planned.

Unfortunately, one of the teachers had gone back to the office as well to check something on their computer, and caught the two doing forbidden things on the floor.

I dragged a hand over my face and said into the phone, “He said he was going to properly ask you out after you graduated, right? You were willing to wait for that. Why couldn’t you wait before doing…you know, that?”

“We were planning to, but I don’t know! It just—it just happened,” she cried. “I am so dead. I’m never going to graduate after this mess and my parents won’t trust me with anything anymore and—”

“Delilah,” I sighed, “calm down. Breathe.” The girl had asthma, for goodness’ sake. I heard short quick intakes of breath and then the sound of an inhaler.

“Right, I’m sorry, Seven,” Delilah told me, her voice wavering, “it’s just—I thought I had everything in control but it’s all slipping through my fingers. I wish time would just stop…”

“Look, Delilah, I’m pretty sure you already know this,” I said, “but all of us make mistakes and mistakes have consequences. Your little slip-up may be bigger than others but you can get through this. It won’t be okay now but after a little while, everything will fall into place.”

“I-I know…” Delilah sobbed. “Thanks, Seven. I just…I just needed to talk to somebody because I’m seriously freaking out right now.”

“You know what I suggest? Tell your parents now before somebody else informs them. It’ll lessen the damage, even if just by a little bit.”

I could almost hear her nodding through the phone. She sniffed. “Okay. Okay, I’ll do that. Thank you so much. I’m sorry. Bye.” And then she hung up.

For a moment I just sat there, Delilah’s wails echoing through my head.

Two days are more than enough, I decided as I dropped the phone on the bed.

I hopped out of the blanket tangled around my legs and dashed to my closet, rummaging for a fresh set of clothes. My mind was set on doing one thing and one thing only: getting the black notebook back—now more than ever.

Yes, it was undeniable that, despite the fact that the black notebook had already been in Colin’s possession for a month now, none of its secrets had leaked. And I would definitely know if that had happened because then there would be tons of people at my door with pitchforks and torches demanding my head.

Okay, maybe that was a little exaggeration but still.

I had pondered over this for the past few days, and even considered stopping this pointless chase after something that Colin wasn’t planning on giving back.

But after hearing Delilah’s cries just a few seconds ago, I knew that I couldn’t live with myself if anyone’s life was ruined just because I was getting tired of begging for the notebook.

I would have to continue with Plan I, which was to steal the things that mattered to him just as he stole what mattered to me.

Pathetic, wasn’t it? I mean, I had heard of people creating Plan A until at most C, but Plan I?

I shook my head at myself and headed to the shower. Once I was pink and squeaky clean, I went downstairs to tell my parents that I was leaving. I found them by the kitchen sink, playing a tug-of-war with the cup that Mom usually used to pour water into the coffeemaker.

Ever since we’d found out that my mom was pregnant, my dad had insisted on helping out in the house. She was totally fine with cleaning the house, but when he mentioned the kitchen…well, let’s just say my mom doesn’t want anybody near enough to mess up her precious kitchen.

She had immediately denied his offer, but Dad would still try to cook something up for dinner or prepare a healthy snack whenever she turned her attention away.

And from what I could see, it looked like he was at it again.

“Honey, honestly, I won’t even break a sweat! Let me—just let me do this!” my mom begged him, her vice-like grip around the cup, trying not to spill the water inside.

“It’s fine, Julie! Sit down. I’ve got this,” my dad tried to sound calm and in control but even he was having a hard time prying the cup from Mom’s fingers.

I stared at them for a couple of minutes, mouth agape and eyebrow raised. I cleared my throat and asked, “Um, guys?”

“Good morning, Seven,” they both said without even sparing me a glance.

“I’m heading out to meet with a friend. I’ll be back for lunch, so don’t mind me and just continue…uh, whatever you guys are doing,” I said awkwardly. I turned on my heels and started to leave.

“Okay!” they called after me, but even though my back was facing them, I bet they didn’t even break off from their let-go-of-the-cup-and-no-one-gets-hurt stares. I wouldn’t be surprised if they pulled on some ninja moves while I was gone.

I edged around the familiar crack outside of our house and jogged out of my neighborhood. An elderly couple was strolling by, but I sped past before they could stop me and say hello. I caught a cab at the corner of The Book Station and recited Colin’s address like something I’d memorized in school.

As I waited for the cab to reach my destination, the adrenaline and determination that I might have felt a little while ago started to drain out. I wondered, not for the first time, if I would stumble upon another family fight, and part of me wanted to tell the driver to turn back the way we’d come.

Maybe I was just paranoid from Delilah’s call. The secrets were safe, so far. And Colin wasn’t a bad guy. Maybe he took things little too far, but he wasn’t cruel.

I remembered the way he’d smiled as he told me: Well, now I’m setting you free.

He wouldn’t spread the secrets. He wouldn’t do such a thing…would he?

I bit my cheeks worriedly and chewed on them the rest of the way. By the time I reached Colin’s house, it was a miracle I hadn’t drilled any holes through them. They hurt and felt kind of raw, though, but I ignored it as I paid the driver and stepped out of the cab.

I looked up to see that Colin’s pale blue pickup truck was where I last saw it, out on the curb, almost as if it was just asking someone to take it…

I walked casually towards their front yard and crouched once I reached the rosebushes. I dragged myself on my elbows and knees, trying not to sneeze when the grass was tickling my nose. Once I was under the shade of the house, I paused to listen for any sound, ready to bolt if I heard even a vague sense of an argument going on.

But the only thing I could hear was the distant sound of the TV. I almost wished there was an argument.

I kept as close to the house wall as I could and inched towards the tree I’d climbed before. I was just getting to the roots when I spotted the doghouse and Lassie, who was just sitting there, staring at me.

Uh-oh.

I reached up and pressed a finger to my mouth, hoping she’d get the message. She simply stared back at me with her brown eyes, tongue lolled.

I silently begged for her to keep quiet as I took a slow crawl forward, but just when I thought that the dog wouldn’t be a problem, she freaking barked. Three times.

I was a dead man.

Or maybe a dead girl would be more accurate.

I quickly scuttled back to the house wall just in time as the window above my head slid open and a girl’s voice said, “Lassie? What’s wrong, girl?”

Fortunately, the girl didn’t notice me just under her nose, but I didn’t dare glance up to see who she could be. She sounded young, but that definitely wasn’t Candice’s voice. Maybe it was Cass, Colin’s younger sister.

Across the yard, I met Lassie’s eyes. Nothing’s wrong, right, Lassie? Please don’t betray me, Lassie. This is for the good of mankind and dogs alike. You’ve got to understand, I said in my mind, hoping that I had an undiscovered power of talking to animals like John from I Am Number Four.

Lassie barked again and then padded closer, close enough that she was under the branches of the tree. My heart jumped up to my mouth, but thankfully she stopped right there and sat down. She barked again.

Thank you, Lassie, for flushing my potential powers down the drain.

“Aw, Lassie, you’re such a cutie,” the girl cooed and then giggled. I heard her footsteps as she walked away from the window. After counting down five seconds, I finally let out the breath I’d been holding.

Not wasting my time, I hurtled towards the tree, circling it so that its trunk was obscuring my small frame from the open windows of the house. Lassie sat beside me, looking up expectantly with an innocent smile.

“Thanks a lot, Lassie,” I whispered, rolling my eyes. Lassie opened her mouth, and for a moment I thought she would bark again, but she only yawned. I tentatively reached out and gently patted her head. “I’m just kidding. Please don’t bark, okay?”

Hoping no neighbors were around to see me shimmy up the tree, I started searching for the footholds. Climbing didn’t take me as long as it did before, but my muscles still ached whenever I had to carry my own weight and I got a lot of splinters in my hands. Soon I was balancing on the thick branch that extended to Colin’s balcony, trying not to look down.

Once I’d landed safely on the wood, I started crouch-walking towards the half-open glass doors that separated the balcony from the room. I squeezed myself through the space, and as I did, something stirred on the bed.

I immediately dropped to the ground, my heart racing. After a second, I carefully raised my head and saw a long slim arm hanging limply on the bed.

My eyes followed that arm up to a strong sculpted shoulder, to outstanding collarbones and the soft curve of a neck and then finally, to the sleeping face of Colin Stillman.

He was sprawled over the bed in only black jersey shorts, his lips parted and his long lashes brushing his high cheekbones. His hair was disheveled, static making it stand up against the pillows. He looked so young, so peaceful like that, his chiseled chest rising with each breath he took.

Suddenly feeling like a creep, I tore my gaze away and quickly scanned the room. It looked the same as I’d last seen it, just more drawings tacked to the walls. The black notebook had to be here somewhere. If I could just find it now, this whole chase to protect everyone’s secrets would be over. I wouldn’t need to execute any more ridiculous plans.

I began the quiet search in Colin’s room. I opened drawers and dug through his backpack, every once in a while glancing back to check if Colin was still asleep. I went through every nook and cranny in his desk, closet and shelves, and checked even under his bed but the notebook was nowhere to be found. Where on earth was it?

I ran my hand through my hair and sighed in frustration. At this rate I was going to have to go with Plan I.

I looked over at Colin’s bed again and only noticed then the sketchpad under one of the pillows.

Of course you only noticed it now. You were too busy gawking at his half-nakedness, you perv, I thought shamefully to myself.

Shaking my head to clear my thoughts, I slowly took the sketchpad into my hands and tugged at it. The weight of Colin’s arm on the pillow made it hard to get it free but after a few more pulls, he groaned in his sleep, eyebrows knitting together. I froze, standing absolutely and utterly still.

But he just shifted his position and finally, the sketchpad was out.

The sketchpad had been left open at a page where Colin was still in the process of finishing a drawing. The only drawings I’d seen in his sketchpad were of buildings and sceneries but this was very different. My stomach tightened as I realized what it was.

It was a girl. She had long dark hair, wild and wavy around her shoulders where I could see straps of what seemed to be a dress. He hadn’t drawn her features yet, so I had no clue who she was, but part of me wasn’t sure if I really wanted to know.

I closed the sketchpad, heart sinking.

I assumed the keys on his bedside table were the keys to his car, that is, unless he had a secret warehouse in an abandoned area where he slaughtered girls and kept them in body bags, left to stink and rot. Yeah, not likely.

Slipping the keys into my pocket and holding onto the sketchpad with one hand, I swung my leg over the balcony and began climbing down the tree. I had to balance the sketchpad on the branches as I took one step at a time, so it took me awhile. When I was back on the ground, I didn’t bother crawling out the way I came.

I took a deep breath and strolled out into broad daylight, pretending like I was a part of Colin’s family and was just out on a walk. The more inconspicuous you seem, the more attention you attract—I read that in a book.

But despite knowing this, my skin itched, feeling nonexistent eyes staring daggers into my back. I continued walking towards Colin’s pickup truck. No one shouted at me or stopped me. I opened the car and hopped in. Before anything else I did a quick sweep of the car and its contents. If Colin didn’t have the notebook in his room, I thought perhaps he left it in his car, but the only items I found were some schoolbooks in the backseat and a box of tissues in the glove compartment.

I placed the sketchpad in the passenger seat, releasing the brake while I was at it. I went to the back of the truck and pushed it with all my strength.

If I started up the car right in front of his house, the noise might cause his family to look out and wonder how was it that the car was coming to life while its owner was upstairs, sleeping.

I struggled with my stick-like arms, pressing the soles of my sneakers into the ground and throwing all my weight on the car. It felt like it was only going at ten centimeters per hour.

You know what, scratch that—it was five centimeters per hour.

When I had finally pushed the car at least a block and a half away from the original spot, I hopped inside, trying to catch my breath.

I turned the key in the ignition, feeling at ease when the engine roared to life.

I fished my phone and dialed Colin’s number. Normally, a thief wouldn’t leave any trace of evidence that could lead to himself, but if Colin had no idea who’d taken his things, then I wouldn’t be able to prove a point—a point that clearly warned him not to mess with me again unless he wanted to lose a whole lot more of his things.

After four rings, he finally picked up, groggy and unsuspecting, “Hello?”

I adapted the most cheerful voice I had. “Well, good morning, Colin. How was your sleep?”

“Morning…wait, Seven? How did you—” I heard the sound of something shuffling. He must’ve been moving around in his bed, probably looking for his missing sketchpad. “What the…”

“What’s wrong, Colin?” I smiled to myself. “Lost something?”

“Yeah, my ske—” he started to say but abruptly stopped. After a pregnant pause he grumbled, “Seven, don’t tell me…”

“Take a guess,” I said. I twisted around in my seat to look back at Colin’s house. “Look out your window.”

There were incoherent sounds in the background and then, “No way…”

“Now come down. And you better bring the black notebook with you,” I instructed him.

Colin didn’t answer, but I could hear a lot of shifting around. A minute later, I saw Colin run out of his house wearing only dark jeans and slippers. He was gripping a T-shirt in his hand as he looked at the curb where his car had been, almost like he was expecting it to pop out of nowhere.

I knew he was far enough that he couldn’t see my face all that clearly, but when he turned and spotted his truck, his eyes practically pierced through the car to me.

Suddenly, a Dodge minivan drove into my peripheral vision and Colin immediately whirled around when it honked at him. He sprinted for the passenger side and jumped in. I could hear the voice of the driver from my phone, “Whoa, Col, are you trying to blind the old ladies in your neighborhood?”

“Shut up, Ro! I’ll explain later,” Colin said to someone—wait, was that Roman?—and then breathed into the phone, “I have no idea what you’re thinking, Seven, but you better stop this before someone gets hurt.”

“Yeah, right,” I snorted, “say that when you catch me—if you can that is.”

I heard somebody, probably Roman, laugh. “Wait, Seven? As in Seven Warrilow? And isn’t that your line, Col?”

I’d taken a few driving lessons from my dad since I was planning on getting a license this summer, so I knew what I needed to do when Colin said, “Go get her!”

I dragged the stick shift back and stepped on the pedal desperately. The truck lurched forward.

“Dude, this is a family car, not something you use to chase chicks—”

“Just follow my car!”

In the rearview mirror, I could see the Dodge minivan catching speed.

My hands were shaky as I turned the steering wheel, guiding the truck around a corner I usually passed when I was headed to Colin’s place.

I switched the speaker on and dropped the phone to my lap. On the other side of the line, I heard Roman say, “I have tons of questions to ask, but I think I can piece it up that Seven’s getting back at you for something.” He laughed. “Finally, you’ve met your match.”

“Can you please just drive?”

As I drove, my heart thundered in my ribcage, partly because of the adrenaline I was having from my need to escape, and partly because I was an unlicensed driver and it was only beginning to dawn upon me that I was doing something illegal.

I was glad there wasn’t much traffic that morning. If I was ever forced to stop for even a minute, Colin would be out of the minivan and breathing down my neck in a flash.

I didn’t speed up though, afraid that if I did, someone might ask me to pull over and I would be busted. I cut a glance around, freaking out when I thought I saw a police car.

Up ahead, I noticed that the traffic light had already been green for quite a while. I whizzed past other cars, catching up in time before the light could turn red. I got in the way of a silver Sedan and the driver honked angrily at me, but I ignored him. I glanced at the rearview mirror and saw that the minivan was stuck at a red light.

I let out a celebratory whoop and said to the phone, “See you later, boys,” before ending the call.

I continued driving, turning into shortcuts where there was a lesser chance of getting stuck in between other cars. When I passed by the intersection that Colin and I had walked through the other day, my phone rang. My eyes darted down to see that Colin was calling but I ignored it.

A couple of minutes later, I was already nearing The Book Station, my chest loosening with relief when I saw the brick building. And it was then when I looked at the side view mirror and saw the Dodge minivan two cars away. My eyes widened in surprise. How did they catch up so fast?

I yanked the wheel to the side, cutting around the corner and was soon driving into my neighborhood. I headed straight to my house, and once Colin’s truck was right in front of my driveway, I grabbed the sketchpad and the keys and hopped out of the car.

I had started to make a run for my house, but stopped short when I saw someone sitting on the front steps of my porch.

For a moment, I couldn’t believe my eyes. It was Brant. He sat there, looking lost as he ran his hands through his hair.

“Brant!” I called out to him and his head snapped up. He looked pale, with dark half-moons under his eyes. “What are you doing here?”

“Seven,” he croaked and then cleared his throat. He didn’t make a move to get up. “I need to talk to you. Where have you been? Your parents said you were out.”

I heard a car door slam and looked back. The Dodge minivan had stopped a few feet away from the pickup truck and Colin ran out of it, pulling the T-shirt he brought over his head as he did.

I dashed towards my house, all the while saying, “Um, Brant, I don’t think now’s the perfect time to talk.” I looked over my shoulder and saw that Colin was already passing by his truck. I turned sharply back to Brant. “I’m kind of busy ri—”

I wasn’t able to finish. The next thing I knew, I was falling over, my limbs useless and my vision blurry.

I was so stupid.

Out of all the times I had passed by that crack in the cement, I just had to pick that very second to trip over it.

Luckily, before I could end up getting a body cast, Brant got up to his feet and caught me in an awkward embrace. When I was sure that my two feet were planted on even ground, I pushed Brant gently away.

“Seven, are you okay? Why were you running?” he asked, peering at my face.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I’m—”

A hand shot out and took my wrist, yanking me away from Brant. My back ended up colliding against something hard and I craned my neck to see what or who it was.

Colin stood behind me, his red hair messy and wild and his green eyes lacking the laughter they usually held. As he stared at Brant with furrowed eyebrows, they burned with something that I couldn’t quite put a finger on.

“Seven?” Brant asked uncertainly, his eyes darting from me to Colin and back. “What’s going on?”

“Brant, I think it would be best if you just came back another time,” I said, not wanting to explain that I had encoded his and a bunch of other people’s secrets in a notebook, which was why I was trying to get back at Colin Stillman, who, in turn, was the reason why I was running for my life.

That wasn’t exactly something people would want to hear. I mean, they tell someone a secret for the very sake of sharing their overwhelming feelings, not because they wanted that someone to write it all down and get it lost.

“I just came to tell you something urgent,” he insisted, “I’ll be on my way once—”

“Alright, look.” Colin stepped forward so that he towered over Brant, and said, “Whatever problem you’re having right now, you need to figure it out yourself like a man. Seven’s not always around to help every last one of you. She has her own life too, got it?”

My jaw dropped at his words. I was pretty sure Brant was stunned, too.

All this time I’d always been the one who reached out and tried to help people from the chains that bound them. Nobody actually bothered to turn back and ask about how I was doing.

But here was Colin, speaking up for me. In a way, he kind of saved me from my own chains, right? Well, he did say that he was setting me free.

A warm feeling spread in my chest at the thought, turning my heart into mush.

“Oh.” Brant’s cheeks turned red with embarrassment. His eyes drifted shamefully to me. “I’m sorry, Seven, I…I never thought of it like that. I’ll go.”

I opened my mouth to say something but I ended up just closing it. Brant was a nice guy and he didn’t whine in my ear like most of the people who came to me did. I didn’t want to see him go, head bowed and hands shoved into the pockets of his jeans, but I did see Colin’s point. I wasn’t a Jiminy Cricket for rent; they needed to learn to solve their own problems.

He walked away, passing by the minivan as he did, and Roman, who was standing by the open door of his car, asked, “Hey, you need a lift?”

Brant shook his head desolately and continued to leave. We watched his silhouette get smaller and smaller until he was only just a smudge in the background.

Roman shrugged and turned to Colin and me. He grinned. “Well, I’ll leave the two of you to sort out whatever just happened here. Nice to see you, Seven!” He nodded his head towards Colin. “Whip him up good, okay?”

I had no idea what he meant by that, so I just said, “Um…yeah, sure.”

He looked over at Colin and using two of his fingers pointed to his eyes and then to his best friend. “And you,” he said, narrowing his eyes, “I want details later, alright?”

In the morning sunlight, I could see a small hint of pink on Colin’s cheeks. He scowled at Roman, who merely laughed and got back in his car. He started it up and after sending us a huge wave goodbye, made his way out of my neighborhood.

The smoke fumes from Roman’s minivan diffused and disappeared, leaving only Colin and me.

I glanced up at him. He was still scowling. I couldn’t remember a time when he’d scowled like that for so long. I almost wondered if he really was mad.

Colin Stillman, the boy who never took anything seriously, who almost always wore a bright smile on his face, and who never seemed to have any problems weighing him down, was scowling and it was probably because I’d ruined his entire morning.

I suddenly felt like a terrible person.

I bit on my lip and asked, “Are you mad?”

He looked down at me and ran a hand through his hair, making it even messier. I liked it that way.

“No, I’m not mad at you. I’m just…” I waited, but he looked like he didn’t want to complete the sentence. He sighed. “I’m not mad, period.”

That made me feel a little relieved, but it was only short-lived because Colin continued, “But it’s not like I’m happy about the fact that you woke me up earlier than I wanted to be up and made me drive through the city after my own car.”

At that, I frowned. “It’s just what you deserve for stealing my black notebook and not giving it back.”

“Okay, I’ve learned my lesson,” he said, the eye roll and his tone implying otherwise, “Now, give them back.” He extended a hand towards me and curled it beckoningly.

I tightened my grip on the sketchpad and keys. “I’m only going to give these back,” I declared, “if you give back my black notebook.”

“You know I can just call the police and tell them you took my stuff, right?” he asked, raising an eyebrow. A devious smirk lifted the corner of his mouth.

My eyes widened. The police? He wouldn’t, would he? I’d been so worried about them finding out that I’d driven without a license, but stealing somebody’s car? My parents were going to kill me.

I had no idea what was happening to me. This hunt after the black notebook was turning me into some kind of outlaw.

I thought quickly for a counter attack. “Uh, but…but you took something of mine too!” It came out more as a whine than the valid reasoning I had wanted it to be.

Colin crossed his arms and smiled smugly down at me. “Do I need to remind you that my family and neighbors saw my car moved from its original spot and driven away without my consent?” I was about to protest, but he quickly added, “Meanwhile, you have no proof that I took your black notebook. No matter what you say, they’ll just think that you’re accusing me so that you can save your skin.”

I just had to be the worst schemer in the history of horrible schemers.

I looked down at my feet and studied my sneakers. I tried to think of something to say, a comeback or even just a half-witty comment, but there was nothing I could say that could pull me out of this one.

Scrunching up my face, I shoved the sketchpad and keys into his arms.

Colin took a step back from the force of my push and blinked in surprise at my face, which was probably red with anger and embarrassment.

“I don’t get it!” I shouted in frustration, fisting my hands into tight, quaking balls. The back of my eyes burned white-hot with unshed tears but I refused to let them show, much less fall. “Why? Why are you doing this? Why do you have to play with me like this? What do you really want?”

Colin didn’t answer immediately. He didn’t even answer after a little while. He looked like I’d just punched him in the gut and I was so furious that I almost wished that I had the courage to do exactly that. He opened his mouth to say something but remained quiet, for once at a loss of words. The silence between us stretched for so long that for a moment I thought he would never answer me.

And then he did.

“Would you believe me if I said that all I really want…is you?”