RAFE’S PLAN WAS SIMPLE: get us to the mainland. His mom had given him the names of some people there. Supernaturals who had worked on the experiment and then left it. One was a woman in Vancouver.
Rafe hadn’t made contact with any of them earlier because his mother had told him to reach out to them only as a last resort. This was, Rafe figured, a last resort.
Sam wanted to leave right away. Rafe thought we should get a good night’s rest. Daniel agreed, and Corey seconded Daniel. As the three of us long-time residents pointed out, getting off the island at night wasn’t easy.
Next the guys were heading out to find a house we could hole up in—someplace the Cabals wouldn’t expect to find us. Sam’s leg wasn’t up to scouting, and Rafe thought I should stay with her, take a break, get a hot shower, and put on the fresh clothes I’d brought from home. That may have been his nice way of saying I really needed that shower.
As the guys headed downstairs, I called Daniel back. Rafe hesitated even when I waved him on, but after a moment, he went with Corey.
I led Daniel to the master bedroom and closed the door behind us.
“What’s up?” I whispered.
“Hmm?”
“You’ve barely said a word since Rafe showed up. You don’t trust him.”
“What? No. Of course I trust him. The guy fell out of a helicopter so we wouldn’t.”
“But something’s bugging you. Is it his story?”
“No. It’s a miracle he survived, but like you said, he’s part cat. They always land on their feet.” He smiled, but it was strained.
“Then you don’t buy the part about how he got back here.”
“I do. He said he left the motorcycle behind the Blender. Easy enough to check. If he was lying, he’d say he ditched it in the woods somewhere.”
“Uh-huh. You’ve thought this through, I see. Which means it’s bugging you.”
Daniel put his hands on my upper arms and leaned down to look me in the eye. “Nothing’s bugging me, Maya. Well, except the fact that our town is empty, and we have no idea where anyone is or how to find them.”
I dropped my gaze. “Right. Sorry. You’re quiet because you have other things on your mind. I’m worried, too. I know it doesn’t seem like it, because Rafe’s back and obviously I’m happy about that, so maybe I’m not as focused as I should be. I’ll snap out of it.”
He gave me a quick hug. “Don’t. Something in this whole mess has gone right for you. You’re allowed to be happy.” He met my gaze. “Okay?”
I nodded.
“Go have a shower and try to relax,” he said. “You’re going to need your energy, and I’m going to need my cocaptain.”
I was in the Tillsons’ bathroom, still dressed, starting the shower, when I heard a faint click, and I wheeled to see Rafe coming in, holding a card he’d used to pop the lock. His free hand covered his eyes.
“Excuse—” I began.
“Oh, sorry. Didn’t know you were in here,” he said, his hand still over his eyes as he frantically motioned, apparently trying to stop me from stating the obvious—that he’d broken in and knew full well I was here.
I pulled his hand from his eyes, and mouthed, “What the hell?”
“Play along,” he mouthed back. “Please.”
There was no teasing glimmer in his eyes. They pleaded with me so desperately that I felt a chill in my gut.
I went to turn off the water. He grabbed my arm and shook his head. Then he moved me closer to the shower, leaned in and whispered, “Ask me to join you.”
“What?”
He clapped a hand over my mouth and whispered, “Trust me. Please.”
I remembered Sam saying she’d stayed behind to make sure her phone call didn’t bring someone running. What if it had? What if they’d come while we were gone and cut a deal with her? Or snuck in and planted bugs, and were just waiting for the right time to nab us?
I cleared my throat. “Better not stick around or I might ask you to join me.”
Rafe chuckled. “If I thought you were serious, I’d take you up on that. I was just coming in to do a better job washing up. There wasn’t any water at your place and my cuts and scrapes are filthy. Guess it’ll have to wait.”
He waved for me to continue. When I arched my brows, he motioned to us, then to the shower. He wanted us in the shower, where no one could hear our conversation. Which was a little extreme. And extremely awkward. He’d given me a lead-in, though, so I used it.
“No, you really should get them cleaned,” I said. “And I should take a look at them. I suppose we can accomplish both if you keep your shorts on … and keep your hands to yourself.”
He grinned. “Fine by me.”
I turned my back and took off my jeans and socks. When I’d finished, he was climbing into the shower. While the view was very nice, my gaze went to his shoulder, to the paw-print birthmark there, a mirror image of the one on my hip.
I hadn’t told him about my first shift to cat form. Now, suddenly, I wanted to. Really wanted to. I wanted to share that with him, see his reaction, tease him about beating him to it and hear his laugh—
He turned and waved me into the shower with him. He backed up to give me room, but it was a shower stall—not much room to be had. The hot water beat down, soaking through my shirt. I leaned back into it, forgetting Rafe as I luxuriated in the feeling of hot, clean water.
When I opened my eyes, he was watching me. Really watching me. I looked at the water pounding off his lean chest, trickling down to his soaked boxers, and … and I wasn’t thinking it’d be nice to lean over and give him a chaste kiss. Really wasn’t.
I was sure this would be a scene I’d lock away to replay when I was alone, but for now, I couldn’t cross that space between us. He’d brought me here to tell me something, and even if he hadn’t, I wouldn’t cross it, because that would lead to places I wasn’t ready to go.
You don’t make out half naked in a shower with a guy if you aren’t planning on going somewhere with it. Actually, you shouldn’t be half naked in a shower with a guy if you aren’t planning on going somewhere with it. But under the current circumstances, normal rules didn’t apply.
I eased forward and leaned up to his ear. “Is this what you wanted?”
He chuckled. “Mmm, I’d better not answer that.” His gaze traveled down me, then zipped back to my face. “Sorry.”
“Focus, Rafe.”
“I am. Just on the wrong thing.” He leaned in to kiss me, but pulled back sharply, his face twisted in a look of pain, like he’d just been jabbed in the back.
“Are you okay?”
“No. Not really.” His look then was so wistful I felt that chill again. Then he leaned down to my ear and whispered. “It’s a trap.”
“Sam?” I whispered. “You think they came while we were—”
“No. Not Sam.”
“Then…”
I looked up into his face and saw the pain there, his eyes dark. Then I looked out the shower door at his clothing, dropped in the far corner of the bathroom.
If he’d just wanted to talk to me in private, he could have gotten me aside easily. Just let me come with them to look at houses. Talk to me in one of them. Or in the forest. But he’d been the one who’d wanted me to stay behind. Who’d suggested I take a shower.
I looked at his clothes again and whispered, “They’re bugged.”
He didn’t reply, but I saw the answer in his eyes. I backed toward the door. He caught me and slapped his hand over my mouth, then leaned down to my ear. Water trickled from his hair onto my shoulder.
“I won’t let them take you, Maya,” he whispered. “I swear I won’t. I’d never do that.”
He pulled me back under the spray and spoke against my ear. “They grabbed me when I got to town. It’s the St. Clouds. They have Annie. Either I help them or they won’t help her. I … I had to, Maya.”
His eyes pleaded with me to believe him. I did. Annie meant everything to him. If they had her, he’d go along with any plan to save her. But that didn’t mean I didn’t feel like I’d been betrayed. By someone I’d finally trusted.
“I know this means it’s over,” he whispered. “I got a second chance, and I blew it, and I…” He swallowed and turned his head, his expression hidden behind the curtain of water. “I’d give anything not to do that. I would, Maya. I know you don’t believe me, but it’s true.”
When I pushed past the pain of betrayal, I did believe him. Because he’d let go of my hand as we dangled from that helicopter. Because he’d been ready to die to save me. And because even if he wasn’t looking me in the face, I could hear the pain in his voice.
“It’s going to be okay,” he said. “I wouldn’t let anything happen to you. I have a plan and you’ll be safe.”
“And the others?”
“Them, too.” He looked at me again, still close enough to whisper through the pounding water, close enough for me to feel the heat of his breath. “I know that’s just as important to you, and I swear everyone will be okay. For now, though, you need to go along with the plan. It’s the only way we’ll get out of this place. And you can’t tell the others.”
“What?”
He gripped my arms and pulled me even closer, gaze locked on mine. “They need to act like everything’s okay, so you can’t tell them. Not even Daniel.”
I backed up, freeing myself.
“That’s the deal-breaker, isn’t it?” he murmured. “Daniel.”
“I trust—”
“I know you do. But I don’t, and not because I think he’s untrustworthy, but because I don’t know him well enough to be sure he won’t screw up. The only person I trust is you.”
Then trust me when I say you can trust him. But that was asking too much, because if the situation was reversed, I’d say it was unfair. I trusted him. But would I put my family’s life at risk if he gave his word that someone else could also be trusted? No.
“If things go wrong, I have to tell him,” I said. “If he’s in danger, I have to warn him.”
Rafe hesitated, then nodded.
“There’s no woman in Vancouver is there?” I said as I pushed back my wet hair. The water was cooling now. “No contacts your mom gave you.”
“No, that’s a story they fed me. But we’re going to follow it, because getting you guys to Vancouver is the best chance you have.”
You guys. Not us. Best chance you have. Not we.
“When we get to Vancouver, you’ll pretend to suddenly realize it’s a trap,” he said. “You’ll turn on me and you’ll run, and leave me behind.”
“But they’ll—”
“They’ll catch me. I know. It’s the only way. They’ll think I did my best, so Annie will be safe. I wish—” He looked away, then leaned toward my ear again so I couldn’t see his face. “There’s no other way. Annie needs me. And you … you don’t. Not like that. You can look after yourself and…” He straightened and gave me a crooked smile. “By then you’ll be happy to be rid of me, I’m sure.”
I leaned forward and whispered, “No, I won’t.”
Then I kissed him. Just a kiss, my hands still at my sides. When I pulled back, he looked stunned. Then he rubbed his mouth and said, “I know that just means you understand. At least, I hope you do.”
“I do.”
I understand that you had an impossible choice to make. I understand that I couldn’t be that choice. It had to be both of us—Annie and me—safe, and what you wanted didn’t matter. Just like when you let go of my hands in the helicopter.
I said the same words he’d said to me before he’d let go.
“It’s okay.”
A twisted smile. “No, not really. But it’ll be okay soon. Or as close as it can get.”