WE HEADED FARTHER INLAND, not really going anywhere, just going. No one talked. No one even asked what was going on, why were these people after us, why had they shot Nicole. Reasons weren’t important.
We trudged through the woods, Kenjii and I in the lead. After a while, I let her go ahead and pick the clearest path. The shock of Nicole’s death had dulled my senses. I didn’t see the beautifully gnarled old trees and the delicate new ones. I just saw trees. Endless trees. When I heard the mournful hoot of owls or the staccato patter of paws, I didn’t stop to listen. Even the smell of cedar seemed too sharp, acidic, as I strained to pick up every smell I usually hated on my forest walks—the stink of gas or diesel fumes, the acrid scent of smoke. Signs of life. Human life. There were none.
Even when I managed to pull my thoughts away from Nicole’s and Rafe’s deaths, I still found plenty to dwell on. I thought about Annie and wondered where she was, if she was alive, if she was safe. Could she take care of herself? She was nineteen, but since she began shape-shifting, she’d started regressing intellectually. Reverting to a more animal-like state. That’s why Rafe had been so determined to find the scientists who’d reactivated our skin-walker gene. Because he hoped they could help Annie. Would the same thing happen to me?
I thought about the man on the shore, too. My biological father. I tried not to dwell on that—didn’t matter, wouldn’t let it matter—but those thoughts only led to ones of my biological mother, who’d abandoned me as an infant. I used to say she was giving me a better chance at life, but Rafe told me she’d had two babies. Twins. She gave me up and kept my brother. My twin brother. Were they still out there? Was he still out there? Again, it wasn’t the time to dwell on that. But I did anyway. At least until I started thinking about my parents—my real parents—and worrying about them took over everything else.
I finally snapped out of it when I realized we’d started walking uphill. I blinked and looked around. Fewer trees. More rocks. Ahead? Pitch black. I had to crane my neck way back to see stars dotting the night sky.
“A mountain.”
“Hmm?” Daniel said.
I jumped, and realized he was right beside me. Probably had been for a while. He put his hand on my back to steady me and said, “What’d you say?”
“I know why I couldn’t see lights from the treetop. There’s a mountain in the way.”
“Damn.” Daniel lowered his voice. “Corey’s not going to be able to make it up that. Not tonight.”
“I don’t think any of us could make it up that tonight. Except maybe the two-time island wrestling champ.” I struggled for a smile.
“Don’t count on it. I’m running on fumes here.”
“Let’s find a spot for the night then. We should be far enough from the crash site by now.”
We headed off the deer trail we’d been following and found a clearing next to a dead tree that acted as a windbreak. Once Daniel and I pronounced it suitable, everyone pretty much just collapsed where they stood.
Daniel and I were the last ones standing. When I started to lower myself to the ground, he tapped my elbow and pointed to a spot a few feet away.
“Looks more comfortable,” he said.
There was a slight hollow there, where dried vegetation had collected. As I lay down, I could smell it, sharp and earthy, and the smell comforted me as much as the soft bedding. Kenjii curled up in front of me. Daniel stretched out behind me, close enough that I could feel the warmth radiating from him, and that relaxed me, too. If anyone had asked me five minutes ago if I could sleep, I’d have thought the question was insane, but my head had barely touched the ground before I was gone.
“Maya…”
I rolled over. Dead needles crackled under me. My foot bumped Daniel’s, and he mumbled in his sleep.
“Maya…”
Another restless toss. A branch jabbed me this time, hard enough to make me open my eyes. I could make out the faint gray of dawn to the east.
I blinked and looked around. Corey, Sam, and Hayley were about five feet away, sound asleep.
I yawned and curled up again.
“Maya… Help…”
I bolted upright. A breeze wafted past, and I caught a smell I recognized.
Rafe.
I got to my feet, careful not to wake the others. Kenjii snorted, but she was too exhausted to stir. Once away from camp, I lurched blindly through the forest, following that teasing scent on the breeze, pushing the branches aside, not slowing down to look for a path or even a clear route.
I stumbled into a stream. Icy water filled my shoes, and I slipped and fell to my knees.
“Maya…”
“Where are you?” I called.
“Over here. I’m…” A sharp intake of breath. “Hurt.”
“Okay, stay where you are. I’m coming.”
I broke into a jog. Only no matter how fast I ran, his scent and his voice didn’t get any stronger. I kept going until I tripped over a root and hit the ground hard.
“Maya…”
“Just—”
“Maya? Is that you?”
I pushed to my feet, wincing as I flexed my stinging hands. “I’m—”
“Maya! I need you.”
His voice seemed to come from all around me. I spun, trying to pinpoint it, but he kept yelling, more panicked with every shout, my own panic rising until I flung myself forward—
Hands grabbed me and yanked me back. For a moment, all I saw was the darkness of night. Then it fell away, dawn light filtering through the trees, and I was standing in front of Daniel, his fingers wrapped around my wrist. Kenjii was beside me, whimpering.
“Maya—”
“I have to go,” I said, wrenching from his grasp. “It’s Rafe. He’s out here. He’s hurt and…”
I turned and saw Sam and Hayley, then heard a crashing in the undergrowth. Corey lurched through, using a branch for a cane.
I blinked. Sam and Hayley hadn’t been there a second ago. I hadn’t heard Corey crashing through the bush. It hadn’t been this light out.
I looked up to see the sun now above the horizon. My eyes filled with tears.
“I—” I swallowed. “I—”
Daniel took both my wrists and turned me to face him. “You were sleepwalking, Maya.”
“It just… I could hear Rafe and he was hurt and I was trying to get to him and—” My breath hitched. “It seemed real.”
Daniel pulled me into a hug and I let myself collapse against his shoulder. I kept thinking about how real it had seemed and how I’d never sleepwalked before and…
And what if I hadn’t been sleepwalking? What if I’d been having a vision?
Not that Rafe would really be calling for me. As that cold dawn light hit, I realized how silly it seemed, Rafe just lying there, yelling for me. If he could move, he’d be moving.
But if it had been a vision, that could mean Rafe really was out there. Really hurt. Really trying to find me.
I pulled away from Daniel and turned to Sam.
“Do you know where Rafe fell?” I asked. “Where the helicopter was?”
Her lips parted as if to ask why. Then she gave a soft, “Oh.”
“I don’t mean exactly,” I said. “Obviously, you can’t tell that. But do you have any idea? We were over the island, right? To the south of here? West? Southwest? Did you notice any landmarks?”
“Maya…” Daniel said.
I turned to meet his gaze. “I know I was sleepwalking, but it might have meant something.” I lowered my voice so the others wouldn’t hear. “A vision. Like the one I had with the marten.” I’d had a vision of one of my recuperating animals, telling me how it had been injured.
“That wasn’t—”
Daniel stopped himself. I knew he’d been about to say that it wasn’t the same. He was right. It wasn’t. But when he saw my expression, he couldn’t finish, and when I saw his, I wished I hadn’t said anything.
He looked as if he was in pain. Real pain. Wanting to give me hope. Knowing he couldn’t, and that it wasn’t right to try, wasn’t fair.
“We were too high,” Corey said, his voice uncharacteristically soft. “He…”
“He couldn’t have survived,” Sam finished.
A normal person couldn’t have survived. But Rafe was a skin-walker. Part cat.
When I looked at Daniel, though, I knew I couldn’t say that. The more I clung to impossible hopes, the more I hurt him.
And we had been too high. I could argue and bluster and tell myself maybe, just maybe he’d survived, but I knew better.
Rafe was dead and if I was dreaming of him, that was my guilt talking. He was dead and I felt responsible.
“I—I’m sorry,” I said. “Just… I need to sit down.”
Daniel took a tentative step toward me.
“I’m okay,” I said. “Just give me a minute on my own. Then we’ll go.”
I found a quiet spot where I could sit on a log and recover. Kenjii followed and sat with her head on my lap, dark eyes troubled.
A few minutes later, I heard someone looking for me, and I knew it wouldn’t be Daniel. If I said I needed to be alone, he’d give me that space. When Hayley stepped around a tree, I stood.
“Sorry,” I said. “You guys want to get going, right?”
She shook her head and came to sit beside me on the log. I hesitated, then lowered myself to it again.
“I think we should try to find Rafe,” she said.
I took a deep breath. “I know he didn’t make it.”
“But you’ll feel better if we look. We might as well go in the direction the helicopter came from. Just in case.”
She had a point. We had to walk. Why not walk that way?
I shook my head. “If we’re going back for anyone, it should be Nicole. If there’s a chance she’s alive—”
“There isn’t. Not from what I saw. And if she did survive, that means they want her alive, which means she’s safe enough for now. I think we should try to find Rafe.”
I turned to her. “I know you liked him. Everyone’s focusing on me, but you lost him, too.”
“No, I didn’t. He was yours.”
“He didn’t belong to any—”
“I only started flirting with him to make Corey jealous. Then I guess I did kind of fall for him. But the guy I was crushing on wasn’t Rafe Martinez. Not the real one, anyway. I get that now. He was showing me someone else. He was showing us all someone else. Everyone except you.”
“That’s not—”
“Corey told me what Rafe did on the helicopter. How he let go so he wouldn’t pull you and Daniel out. The Rafe I knew wouldn’t have done that. Wouldn’t even have thought of it.”
“He didn’t mean to trick you,” I said. “He was looking for something in Salmon Creek. Something he really needed to find, to help his sister. He didn’t mean to hurt anyone.”
He didn’t mean to hurt anyone. Not Hayley and the other girls he’d chased and cut loose. Not me, the one he’d finally caught, only to admit he’d pursued me for a reason.
I understood that now. I wished I could have understood it then. I wished I could have said something in that last moment, before he let go.
He’d told me it was okay. His last words to me.
Why couldn’t they have been my last words to him?