GOD, THIS MAN INFURIATED ME.
He was overbearing and way too controlling. Where did he get off, telling me what to do? He was the one who had walked away and vowed to never come back. Why the hell did he care in the first place? Surely, there was some trollop back in Chicago he could bother.
Of course, the idea of that enraged me even further.
Jake Jameson had always been my kryptonite. He had a way of pushing my buttons and seeing through any wall I put around myself. He didn’t take shit, and he always knew how to get me off.
In more ways than one.
But two could play at this game, and I was just getting started.
“Can’t you pick up produce another day?” he asked, but still heading toward our destination.
“No,” I answered simply.
“Really? Because, last time I checked, I saw an empty inn with no guests to feed.”
I batted my eyelashes, enjoying his discomfort. He knew, the moment he showed up at Terri’s, he would get an earful. If there was one thing that old woman was good at, besides produce, it was telling the truth as she saw it.
And Jake Jameson was no exception.
“No, that’s not true at all. I have three guests. The Lovells and…well, you. And I can hardly let our new resident doctor go unfed, can I?”
He didn’t bother responding, but I could see plumes of smoke rising from his angry, stupid head.
Molly: 1
Jake: 0
“We’re here, princess,” he grumbled.
I nearly giggled, loving his misery.
That was, until I saw the way his eyes averted the house next door.
The way mine did when I came to this part of the island. Jake’s house had always been here, right next to Terri’s. I knew that. It was a key part of my childhood as a friendship had blossomed into so much more over the years.
But, since he’d left, it had become a blind spot in my vision. A place I avoided even looking at.
Because it wasn’t just Jake who had horrible memories of this place.
“I can’t stay here, Mols. I can’t,” Jake said, his voice full of pain and regret.
“I know it hurts, Jakey, but we’ll get through it. Together.”
He took a quick glance toward the bright blue house behind me, and I could see the decision becoming clearer in his eyes.
“No,” he said firmly. “This place, this house, it will always be where she died. It will be a constant reminder of my father’s failure. Of the poor excuse of a man he’s become.”
My hand rose to meet his. “Your dad is sick, Jake. He needs help. And he needs you. Now more than ever. You aren’t the only one suffering a loss here. He lost his wife.”
“He murdered her!” he screamed so loud it echoed through the trees. “He should have seen the warning signs. He should have done something. But he was too drunk and stupid to give her the attention she needed. And now…” His voice faded, as he was too pained to go on. “Come with me,” he begged.
“To California? What would I do?”
“Does it matter?” he said with gusto. “We’ll be together. Just like we’ve always planned.”
“What we’ve always planned is that we’d go to college in state. But you’re making this decision to leave without me. This is your choice.”
“But I can’t live without you,” he said. “I need you, Molly.”
My heart broke over his words. Because I knew it wasn’t true.
If he needed me, he wouldn’t leave.
If he needed me, he would stay.
“Go, Jake. Find yourself. Grieve and heal…but do it without me. Because I will not be your constant reminder of everything you lost.”
He could see the truth in my words. He knew it, too.
We were over, and there was nothing either of us could do to change that.
I swallowed down a bit of regret, realizing how difficult it must be for him to be so close to it all. No wonder he’d run back to the inn—the one place that still felt like home.
“You stay here,” he instructed as he put the car in park on the gravel driveway.
“Like hell,” I countered, pulling my swollen foot off the dash.
“You’re supposed to be resting,” he argued, knowing it was no use.
I was just as stubborn as he was, but the difference was this was my town now.
My business.
And I’d be damned if I let him stomp all over my hard work.
“Well, at least use the damn crutches I grabbed from the clinic for you,” he said as he stepped out of the car, stopping by the trunk to grab the metal sticks of death.
“I hate those things,” I whined. “I can just hop.”
He laughed, like it was the most ludicrous idea on the planet. “No. Use them, or stay in the fucking car, Molly.”
His voice sent chills down my spine as I remembered just how demanding he could be.
“Fine,” I complied, taking the crutches from him.
After adjusting them to my height and taking a few practice steps, I had to admit, they did help.
Of course, I’d never tell him that.
“So, what do you need from Terri?” he asked as he walked alongside me, making sure I didn’t fall.
“Just let me do the talking. You…” I paused, turning my head toward him. “You just stand there and look pretty.”
“And get interrogated by Terri?”
“Naturally.”
“Sounds like a blast,” he said sarcastically.
He let me take my time going up the worn steps and pressed the buzzer. We waited for Terri to arrive.
“It’s been taking her longer and longer to answer the door lately,” I told him.
The door pulled open, and Terri appeared. “But I still have ears like an elephant. So, stop talking about me like I’m not here.”
Jake snorted in amusement next to me, and I shot him a death stare.
“Come on in,” she insisted, stepping aside to let us through. “Didn’t expect to see you here, Jake. Figured you’d be cozied up with a bottle of bourbon by now.”
“Oh, he’s already done that,” I said.
“And what the Sam Hill is wrong with you? Tripped over your own feet, did ya?”
He didn’t snort this time, but I saw a snide smile spread across his face.
“What do you have for me today, Terri?” I asked, changing the subject. “Anything good?”
“Anything good?” she repeated. “All of it is good. Who do you think you’re talking to?”
“Swallow an extra sassy pill today, Terri?” Jake said, chuckling under his breath.
“If I’d known you were going to show up at my door, I would have taken three,” she replied, shaking her head.
She offered us seats at the kitchen table, but Jake took his time, looking around.
To him, probably not much looked different.
But, for me, someone who visited this old house two or three times a day, I could see it. The modern step stool she’d bought last year to replace the antique one she’d had for years. The curtains she’d sewn last month to brighten up the dining room.
We waited in silence as Terri went through her storage cellar, pulling out various things for me to look at—fruits and veggies and several canned goods.
“I like the curtains,” Jake said, giving me a knowing look.
Okay, so he did remember the little things.
“Don’t sweet talk me, Jacob Jameson.”
“You know that’s not my name.” He laughed.
“Well, it should have been,” Terri grumbled. “Giving a boy a nickname instead of something proper. No sense in that. No sense indeed. Do you think Terri is my given name?”
“We both know it’s not,” I answered.
Jake turned to me.
“Of course it’s not.” Jake and I mouthed the words along with her, trying not to laugh, “Theresa Victoria Chandler.”
She caught us and immediately shook her head, mumbling under her breath. She talked mean, but underneath the icy exterior, Terri was nothing but heart. She loved deeply, cared sometimes too much, and was as loyal as they came.
Watching Jake walk away all those years ago, the boy who’d been the closest thing to a son in her life, had been hard for her. But you wouldn’t have known it, looking at her. The days after he’d left, she’d continued on like any other day.
But I had seen it.
The pain and loss. It had been like looking in a mirror.
Eventually, we’d both moved on.
Terri had decided to turn her hobby into earnings, converting her small garden into something more substantial.
And me? Well, I’d kept going.
What else was there to do?
“You know, Molly and Dean Sutherland are set to be married this fall?”
“I didn’t realize they’d set a date,” Jake replied, his eyes set on mine.
“We haven’t. Terri just thinks a fall wedding is the best kind of wedding.”
“Any wedding where I don’t have to sit around, sweating like a sinner in church, is a mighty fine wedding to me.”
Ignoring her comment, Jake pressed on, “And why is it that you and Dean haven’t set a date? Cold feet?”
My cheeks reddened in anger. “My toes are perfectly warm, thank you. And, if you haven’t noticed, we’ve both been a little busy recently.”
“Seems to me like you’re waiting on something,” he said in a mocking tone. “Maybe a sign from God?”
“Shut up, Jake,” I responded, feeling like he’d touched a little too close to home.
To be honest, I didn’t know why we hadn’t set a date. This summer would mark the two-year anniversary of our engagement.
Two years, and nothing planned.
Surely, that wasn’t normal, but whenever we sat down to work out the details, we’d get sidetracked. Too many guests at the inn, or something had broken on one of the fishing vessels, and he’d had to run.
Two years.
“I’m sure we’ll figure it out soon,” I said more as an assurance to myself than anyone else.
“Absolutely,” Jake said, clearly not convinced.
Terri moved about the kitchen, quietly observing us.
Being quiet wasn’t usually one of Terri’s abilities, and it only made the tension between us rise.
Would this day ever end?
After two more stops that day, Jake put his foot down.
Or made me put mine up.
Driving back to the inn, he was quiet. Reflective even.
I almost asked him what was on his mind, but that was the old Molly coming through. The one who still believed love could overcome anything, no matter what obstacle stood in its way.
And then Jake had proven otherwise, walking away with no intentions of ever returning.
I’d become part of his recipe for disaster. Part of the place—our home—that had made him run.
By the time we reached the driveway to the inn, we had barely said two words to each other. I guessed our reunion was over.
“I’ll come around and help you,” he finally said, pulling the key from the ignition.
“No, it’s fine. I can manage.”
There was a slight pause in his movement, as if he were deciding whether it was worth it to argue. Whatever internal fight was going on in his head, he seemed to reach a conclusion, stepping out of the car without a single glance in my direction.
It was just as well.
By the time I hobbled into the house, he was long gone. Tucked in safely in the yellow room where he’d probably stay for the rest of the day.
Guessed I was cooking for one tonight. It was Mr. and Mrs. Lovell’s last night, so they’d most likely eat out. They both loved to tour the local restaurants. Using my metal sticks of death that Jake liked to call crutches, I managed to get all the way to the kitchen without incident.
“Stupid ankle,” I mumbled, hating myself for being dumb enough to fall down the stairs I’d been using since I could walk.
“You always were a bit of a klutz,” Jake said, stepping into the kitchen.
Usually, the large space felt spacious, but the moment he walked in, it felt like a vacuum.
So small and tight, I could barely find air to breathe.
“I seem to remember a little boy crying on the beach a time or two because he’d stepped on a jellyfish.”
“That’s not clumsiness. That was just pure dumb luck,” he countered. “Well, and the fact that I never watched where I was walking—something you obviously still haven’t mastered.”
I let out a long sigh, resting my hand against the cold gray granite. “I don’t have time for this again, Jake.”
“Time for what?”
“This walk down memory lane we keep finding ourselves on. I’m not the same doe-eyed girl I was when you walked away. I have a life—one that I’ve worked hard for.”
“I get it, Mols. I do. You’ve moved on. You don’t have to constantly keep reminding me. And yourself.”
“I don’t need to remind myself,” I argued.
“Are you sure?” he pushed, taking a few steps closer.
I could see every lean muscle he owned peeking out from his tight black shirt. It made my heart race.
“Because I’ve only been here for about twenty-four hours, and you seem to need to defend your life and the choices you’ve made about every chance you get.””
I had no witty comeback. No words to shoot him down.
“And the only time you’ve even mentioned your beloved fiancé is when I’ve brought him up.”
I opened my mouth to respond, but still, I had nothing.
Because, deep down, I knew he was right.
“The kitchen’s all yours,” I said softly, stepping past him as I raced for an exit. “I’m going to bed.”
He didn’t fire back with any smart-ass comments about the time of day or the fact that I still had a million things left on my to-do list.
He just let me go.
Like he’d done twelve years ago, making it even clearer that Jake Jameson and I were never meant to be.
No matter how much I’d believed otherwise.
The next day, I woke up early.
After spending the late afternoon and evening sulking in my first-floor bedroom, I was half crazy over the amount of stuff I’d ignored in my attempt to avoid a certain houseguest.
But, the minute the clock hit six that morning, I was up and ready. Knowing the Lovells were leaving today had me in a perplexed mood. I would miss them, I always did, so it would be nice to spend a little time with them this morning, cooking up a large breakfast, like normal.
I needed a little normal in my life right now.
So, I got to work, chopping veggies and sautéing sausage for a cheesy casserole. I heated up croissants and muffins I’d made earlier, and I brewed coffee. It was a little cumbersome to do, having only one working foot.
But I managed.
By the time the Lovells came down to eat, I felt accomplished and halfway back to normal.
“This looks divine!” Mrs. Lovell crooned before noticing my foot. “Oh heavens, dear, what did you do?”
“I sprained my ankle yesterday on the steps. You’d think, after this long, I’d have figured them out by now.”
A gentle smile spread across each of their faces. Mrs. Lovell forced me to sit and join them, making her way around the eat-in kitchen like she belonged there. Over the years, I’d come to learn she was actually a very accomplished cook herself, even going so far as to run her own part-time catering business in their native state of Ohio.
I wanted to protest, firmly believing that my guests should feel pampered at every moment of their stay, but my foot was aching. Had it been anyone but this specific couple, I would have.
But sitting down did feel mighty good.
Mrs. Lovell poured me a cup of coffee as I scooped up large helpings of the casserole and handed them out. Everything in this inn was served family-style. It was the one thing I’d never change. My parents had been big on creating a warm, family-like atmosphere in this place, and this was just one of the ways they’d accomplished it.
“How is your beau?” Mr. Lovell asked, already digging into his breakfast.
“I wish I could say he was good, but it’s been a rough road.”
He nodded thoughtfully, those adorable old lines on his forehead moving right along with every expression. “Mmm, I can imagine. Quite a shock for a young man like that. Growing old, you expect to lose certain abilities. Simple tasks aren’t as easy as they once were, and don’t even get me started on all the new aches and pains I discover every day. But it’s gradual. I didn’t wake up one morning, having my youth ripped out from me. I wager that’s how your Dean is feeling. Like he was robbed and has no way of getting those years back.”
Remembering the way he’d seemed to look right through me the last time I was there, I nodded thoughtfully.
“You’ll pass on our sympathies? We’ll keep him and his family in our prayers,” Mrs. Lovell added, taking a moment to gently touch my hand.
“I’m planning on driving up there to see him today. I’ll definitely let him know.”
“You’re driving where?” a deep voice asked.
Mr. and Mrs. Lovell turned their attention toward the doorframe.
“Jake! Long time no see.” Mr. Lovell grinned, rising to greet him with a firm handshake. “Glad to see you’ve settled in.”
“You, too, Mr. Lovell,” he said, smiling from ear to ear. “Sorry I didn’t get a chance to sit and chat with you yesterday. This one had me running all over the island.”
Both men turned their heads toward me.
“Ah, well, I can understand that. Can’t leave a friend in distress, can you?”
I loved how Mr. Lovell naturally assumed we were nothing more than friends rather than prodding and meddling for information on the nature of Jake’s stay. It was the natural good nature of the man that always assumed the best in people.
I wished it would rub off on me. I couldn’t help but eye Jake with his tall frame and milky-blue irises and wonder what he was up to.
As if his sole purpose here were to ruin my life.
But the Lovells simply greeted him as an old friend rather than a man who’d run away from everyone he loved because he couldn’t quell the darkness in his soul.
“What was this I heard about you driving today?” Jake asked, not waiting for an invitation as he sat himself down next to me with a steaming cup of coffee and an empty plate.
I forced myself to be nice. After all, he was a guest. Who was paying double.
“I have to drive up the coast and visit the hospital today,” I explained.
He took a moment before answering, taking several bites of casserole. I watched as he took his first bite and smiled slightly when his eyes nearly rolled back in his head. Maybe he wasn’t half bad after all.
“And just how do you expect to drive with that foot?”
Moment over. I was back to wanting to kill him.
“I’ll manage,” I said, feeling like a child in front of my guests.
How many times had this man berated me since his arrival?
Why did he even care?
“Yeah, I don’t think so. Your right foot is imperative to operating a motor vehicle. I can’t in good conscience let you drive with that sprain.”
Both Mr. and Mrs. Lovell nearly melted over his gentlemanly behavior. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes.
“Well, it doesn’t change the fact that I need to go there.”
“Then, I guess I’ll just have to be your chauffeur. Again.”
I moved to respond, but his finger landed on my lips, stopping my words from ever leaving my mouth. The heat from that single digit almost burned, the sensation lasting far longer than the mere second it rested there.
“Jake, I—”
“Well, that sounds like a lovely idea, doesn’t it, Anne? We should get out of their hair, so they can get going with their day.”
The old woman smiled back at her husband. “Absolutely. You kids have fun. We’ll see ourselves out.” She briefly stopped at the doorframe, turning back toward me. “As always, thank you for the wonderful stay, Molly.”
I smiled warmly. “Anything for you two. Come back soon.”
She gave a quick nod in our direction before following her husband up the stairs to their suite. Once again, it was just Jake and me.
Alone.
“What time do you need to leave?” he asked, taking the last sip of coffee from his mug.
“You are not coming with me,” I seethed, rising quickly before remembering my ankle.
With lightning-fast reflexes, Jake was at my side, keeping me from hitting the floor and causing more damage to my poor, neglected body.
“I had planned on a trip up there anyway. Might as well be today.”
“I find that highly unlikely,” I grumbled, steadying myself so that I could wiggle out of his grasp.
Every time he touched me, it was like stepping into a time machine. My body remembered his—every brush of skin, every single kiss—and the more I remembered, the more it hurt to be around him.
Knowing he’d chosen a life without me.
“You find it highly unlikely that I, a surgeon, would like to visit a hospital?”
I huffed. “Fine,” I said curtly. “Be ready in an hour.”
“Fine,” he replied, leaving his dishes on the table where he sat. “I’ll leave those for you since you’re so able-bodied now. Wouldn’t want you to think I was babying you…or interfering with your perfect life.”
I growled under my breath as he walked away.
I’d never wanted to go back to bed more than that moment.
Unfortunately, I wasn’t wired that way, so I got to work.
And prepared myself for another up close and personal day with Jake.
God help me.
Little was said between Jake and me as we traveled out of the little town of Ocracoke and toward the ferry. I turned my attention toward the sand dunes, watching the sun rise higher in the sky.
Since breakfast, his mood had changed.
Darkened.
The snarky, joking tone I’d come to know of him had moved aside, giving me a glimpse into the real Jake. The one who seemed to have the weight of the world on his shoulders.
And the closer we got to the ferry, the more I understood.
A week ago, he’d been coming home to say good-bye to his father, and instead, he’d almost lost his own life.
What had it been like for the two of them on that boat in the middle of the ocean?
I couldn’t imagine.
I’d been so wrapped up in the shock of it all that had happened and the constant need to keep everything and everyone together that I hadn’t really let it sink in since that night.
I could have lost them both.
“Are you okay?” I asked as the car lurched forward, moving from land to sea.
He followed directions, taking a parking spot toward the middle, and cars fell in line on either side of us.
“I’m fine,” he replied, cutting off the engine.
The roar of the ferry combined with the many cars that hadn’t yet powered down left a loud ringing in my ear. Something I never got used to.
Living on the island since birth had given me a special childhood.
A secluded one.
The roaring sound of traffic and city noise was foreign to me, and it always felt strange, leaving the island for the hustle and bustle of the mainland.
Slowly, the cars around us quieted, and people began to exit toward the outer rails for a better view. I sat silent, watching Jake stare at the dusty truck in front of us.
“What was it like?” I asked softly. “The explosion?”
He turned, his eyes thoughtful. “It was horrific,” he said plainly. “I thought I was over it. I’ve dealt with dire situations like that before, but this time, it was different.”
“Because of Dean?”
He nodded. “It was too close to home. Usually, I can take a step back, creating that much-needed barrier between patient and doctor so that I can do my job. But sitting there, next to Dean, as he bled out, my hands shook, and my vision blurred.”
“You saved him, Jake,” I reminded him.
“Yes, but it wasn’t enough.”
“You did the best you could,” I said, wanting to reach out to him but knowing I had to keep a safe distance.
For both of us.
“He’ll never be the same again. If I’d gotten to him earlier…done something different, maybe it would have helped.”
“You sound like someone else we both knew.”
His eyes searched mine. “My father?”
I simply nodded as his face turned from mine.
“I’ll never be like him. Never.” The door handle clicked, and just like that, he was gone once more.
I watched as he disappeared through the surrounding vehicles, wondering when, or if, he’d be able to face all those demons from his past.
And what that would mean for me when he did.