I stood next to Marte’s Christmas tree in the corner of her penthouse apartment overlooking Lake Michigan. The sky was cloudy blue and gray. The city lights never really let the downtown night sky get too black. There was always a little light happening even in the darkest of hours.

Grandma sat on a cushy chair behind me, her leg elevated and resting on an ottoman. She wore a dark green velour tracksuit with a red velvet throw draped across her lap. Daniel rattled around in the kitchen, rustling up something he could reheat or microwave. I’d just spent a half hour stringing Italian lights on the tree. Now I was hanging ornaments. Grandma was running a bit behind schedule after her accident and was anxious to get this done. Holiday traditions were important to her. “Grandma, where do you want the Star of David to go?”

She squinted and pointed with one knobby finger. “A little to the right. I don’t want it overwhelmed by the baby Jesus manager or the Kwanzaa tiger ornaments. You know I’m pantheistic now, right?”

“Yes.” I tucked the Star of David ornament a little to the right of the manger. “How about the crocheted Santa?”

“Bottom of the tree on the larger branches. He’s a bit on the heavy side. Whoever knitted him made his pants awfully wide.”

Daniel came into the room holding one of Marte’s silver platters. “Goat cheese pizza and drinks,” he said and walked to her first. “This one has pepperoni and sausage,” he pointed. “And this one is meatless.”

“Thank you, Daniel,” Marte said. “Could you put one of each on a little plate for me? Put the rest on ‘Warm’ in the oven? Pull out a bottle of chilled bubbly and some glasses. Oh, and place the nice crackers on a tray. Not the stale ones.”

“Your wish is my command.” He prepared a plate for her then went back to the kitchen.

“Do you have friends coming over?” I asked.

“Just the girls.”

Be still my heart.

“Which girls? Your bridge club group?”

“No, silly, my Friday night girls.”

“Aha.” I’d deliberately stayed away from Charlotte this week. I didn’t want her taking up permanent residence in my heart the way she’d taken up real estate in my dreams and my wank bank.

Charlotte had transformed me from your average, twenty-something guy who beat off on occasion when the mood hit, into an enthusiastic Matt Baiter. I got off in the shower, imagined Charlotte squeezing her beautiful tits together as I fucked them, coming hard in my hand under the water’s insistent beat.

I beat off to day dreams of her kneeling on my bed, her gorgeous ass high in the air, swaying side to side. She’d glance at me over her shoulder, bite her pouty lower lip and say, “I know you want to tap this.” I’d slip my dick into her pussy, hold onto her hips, and ride her hard from behind.

“Last chance to spend holidays in beautiful Aspen.” Daniel popped his head out of the kitchen. “We’re leaving Sunday. Biltenhouse swapped with me. He’s honeymooning with his new bride in the Caymans at my townhouse.”

“Tell him he’s an asshole for never getting back to me.”

“Will do,” Daniel said.

“What are you boys doing tonight?” Grandma asked.

Daniel looked at me and lifted an eyebrow. “Something decadent, Grandma. You?”

“Me too.” The intercom buzzed. “Can you get that for me?”

A chill zipped down my spine as I walked to the front door. I was going to see Charlotte in the flesh. I hit the call button and said in my best sexy voice, “Happy Holidays. How can I help you?”

“We’re here for Mrs. Delacroix’s Spa party,” a man said.

“Terrific. And you are?”

“James. From Rent-A-Boyfriend.”

I stared daggers at Marte. “Rent a Boyfriend?”

“Ooh, it’s James,” she said. “He has magic hands. I didn’t know if he’d be available tonight. Buzz him up!”

“Come on up, James. Penthouse.”

“Yeah. Got it. Been here before.”

I glared at my grandmother. “James from Rent-A Boyfriend has been here before?”

“We go way back,” she said. “He’s my favorite. It’s a holiday party, Joseph. I needed a little help. You already decorated the tree. I can’t ask you to do everything. Lighten up for God’s sake.”

“Yeah, Joseph,” Daniel said. “Lighten up for God’s sake. Let’s go. Merry Christmas, Grandma. If you change your mind, come visit us in Aspen.”

“I’ll keep that in mind. Kiss goes right here.” She pointed to her cheek, which he dutifully bussed.