Chapter 22: The Compound
“I CAN’T DO IT. I’m done,” Jared said, trying to catch his breath as sweat dripped down his face. He had been in the gym at the bunker twice a day working to rebuild his strength and improve his balance. It was hard work, and he was seeing little progress. Scott had pushed him, but not to his breaking point. The girls let him work at his own pace, but today he was working out with Milo Weaver, and he was a slave driver who wasn’t letting up on him one bit.
“Again, Jared,” Milo demanded. He had increased the weights, making him bench press them. His left arm shook even after he put the weights down.
“I’m done. My arm’s too weak. It’s too much.”
“You have to keep pushing yourself. Don’t you want to be strong and well? What if Holly returns? Or worse, what if the AMAN do? You have to be prepared to fight. You have to be prepared for anything that comes your way.”
Jared had been pushing down his personal thoughts and feelings and working hard to please everyone around him. He still didn’t remember any of them, but he had never had people that cared him before, and he didn’t want to let them down, but he had hit his breaking point.
“Look, I don’t remember Holly. She sounds like a myth to me, and I’ve never given the AMAN reason to come after me. Plus I’m in the safest place possible as people keep reminding me. I’m not going to be strong or well enough to truly fight. Look at me. I’m done,” Jared said, grabbing his crutches and rising.
Milo got in his way, and he could see that Milo wanted to say something, but he just shook his head and gave Jared a look of pity. He hated that look more than anything. It made him want to punch something.
“You aren’t weak, Jared. I’m only pushing you because I know how strong you are, and what you’re capable of as well,” Milo said as Jared was leaving the room.
He considered ignoring him but was too pissed. “Well, that makes one of us,” Jared said as he worked his way back to his room.
Jared’s stomach growled, but he didn’t want to deal with people. He grabbed a food bar Karen had left for times when he needed some space. It tasted like crap, but it was sustenance, and he’d certainly eaten worse to survive over the years.
He put in a movie and laid down on the couch barely paying attention it. His thoughts were scrambled with all the events that had happened since he woke up alone in a strange place. It still felt like some sort of alternate reality. How could this be my life? Alien abduction made more sense than some of the stuff they told me about myself, he thought to himself.
He had seen the changes around him. He knew in his head they were right about the time lapse, but he still struggled to believe it. How did he lose three years of his life? How did he forget this amazing woman he kept hearing about that supposedly was his whole world? If that were true, nothing should have been able to erase her from his life.
Jared twirled the ring on his left hand with his thumb. It was just another piece of evidence of a life he had missed, yet he couldn’t bring himself to remove it. Somehow it gave him comfort, it grounded him.
He wanted to turn his brain off and just sleep off the melancholy setting in, but slumber didn’t seem to be in store for him. He strained his brain to remember anything at all. It was like going to sleep one night and waking up in a different dimension. Everything in between was dark, empty, missing.
The worst part was knowing it was missing. Yet somehow, he knew he was missing a part of himself before they had even told him what that part of him was, and he wasn’t thinking about his leg.
Holly. he was missing Holly. He couldn’t find her. In his dreams, there was always this red fog just out of reach. He didn’t know for certain it was her, but he felt in his heart it was. Always just beyond his fingertips. He’d hear a voice, a girl’s voice calling to him, calling him out of the darkness, and he wanted to go to her, but no matter how hard he pushed or how fast he ran, he could never reach her.
Jared’s head told him he should be afraid. The dreams should have been nightmares, but they gave him so much peace and comfort. He didn’t dare tell anyone about them. He didn’t care if they were real or fabricated, if they were memories of her or made up visions based off the stories others had told him. It didn’t matter as long as he closed his eyes and saw red.
Why red? He didn’t know, but felt like it was somehow significant. His first thoughts were that red was the color of anger, but he didn’t feel angry. He just felt lost. Red was also the color of love and if he truly had married her like they said he did, then he liked to believe that was why he kept attributing it to her.
There was a knock on the door as it opened. Jared only knew one person who did that and he didn’t want to deal with him, so he closed his eyes and pretended to be asleep.
There was a pause, a sigh, and the door closed again. He opened his eyes.
“I knew you were faking,” Chris Weaver said, standing against the door with a smirk on his face.
“What do you want, Chris?”
“Milo said he was worried he may have pushed you too hard today. Thinks he broke you. Want to talk about it?”
Chris Weaver was one of the few constants in his life. His wife, Cassie, was overdue by estimations to deliver their twins. Doc was trying everything he could to encourage the stubborn tykes to come out, but they weren’t budging, and he really didn’t want to have to evict them by surgery. They had three more days or Doc was going in and getting them.
Cassie had insisted on having the babies in the bunker, and Chris wasn’t going to leave her side, so unlike all the others who came and went on rotation, Chris was pretty much guaranteed to be around at least some portion of every day.
Chris had told him that he missed Holly a great deal. They had apparently been really close, having grown up together, best of friends. Had she been there, she’d be the one keeping him sane throughout the pregnancy from hell, as he liked to call it. Since Holly wasn’t there, Jared quickly became his backup relief. Chris would hide in Jared’s room, keeping him company several hours each day. The two of them had grown very close because of it.
“Well?” Chris asked.
“Well what?” Jared countered.
“Do you want to talk about what happened with my stupid brother today or not?”
“No.”
“Good. Figured you’d say that. What are we watching?”
That’s one of the things Jared had grown to love about Chris. While everyone else pushed him to work harder and open up more, Chris was perfectly content to just be there. Because of that, Jared had opened up to him more than anyone else, but he didn’t think the others knew that.
“How’s Cassie?” Jared asked, trying to change the subject off himself.
“She’s huge and driving me insane,” he confessed. “She hasn’t wanted to move, let alone get up and walk twice a day or try anything Doc advised to help induce labor. This morning, she was up before me, showering and smiling. She went down to the kitchen for breakfast and she’s been walking around talking to everyone. She’s been miserable for weeks and it was like a light switch going on with this crazy turn around. I think it’s because Doc gave her the three-day countdown, so now we have an absolute end in sight.”
“Wow, three days max and you’re going to be a Dad,” Jared said reverently.
“Scares the shit out of me, yet I’m so excited I can barely contain it. It’s just a surreal and helpless feeling knowing there’s nothing I can really do to bring them into the world safely. That’s all on Cass and Doc from here.”
“That’s not entirely true. I know you. You’ll be there by her side, cheering her on every step of the way. That’s not nothing, Chris.”
“I know, man, but what if something goes wrong?”
A quiet fell between them. Finally, Jared spoke. “Look at me, Chris. I’m the epitome of life gone wrong. You can’t control that, so don’t worry about the things you can’t control and concentrate on the things you can. You can be there to hold her hand and encourage her through birth. You can hold your newborn child, or should I say children, in your arms. You can be the best husband you know how. You can be a great friend and help others, like you do me, even if you are a pain in the ass sometimes. You can and will be a wonderful father. I have no doubts about that.”
“Thanks man. I really needed to hear that today.”
They heard a brief commotion in the hallway before the door burst open. It was Milo.
“I’m taking the day off, don’t even waste your breath,” Jared said.
“Not you,” Milo said. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you,” he said to Chris. “Mom grabbed me on the way to the clinic. Cassie’s water broke. Mom and Jeanette are with her. Doc’s on his way. Ash was coming up to stay with Jared tonight, so she’ll be here first, but we’re having some babies.”
Chris stared at him, mouth open and not moving.
Jared grinned down at him before smacking the back of his head.
“You’re up. You got this,” Jared reassured him.
Chris nodded silently as he rose and walked out the door looking scared to death even with a stupid grin on his face. Jared said a quick prayer as he had seen Karen do over him so many times. He prayed for his friends and their tiny babies about to enter the world, and for peace, comfort, and guidance for all involved in the delivery.
Jared had never been a believer, but in his short time in the bunker and seeing how passionate many of the original Compounders were about it, it made him feel like he had been the one in the wrong. Karen Jenkins played a huge part in that, planting seeds daily within him. He hadn’t discussed it with her, but his mind and heart were changing on the subject, as he saw what she described as miracles and God’s work daily around him, even while confined inside the walls of the bunker.
* * * * *
Milo led Chris down the hall to the old clinic room. It had been prepped for months as a clean delivery room for Cassie. Chris’s hands were shaking, and he thought he might puke, but the second the door opened and Cassie smiled up at him, a calm like no other came over him. He could do it, for her.
He walked to his wife’s side and leaned down to kiss her.
“You ready for this?” he asked
“So ready,” she confessed. “How about you?”
“Ready as I’ll ever be. I got the easy job though,” he said, grinning at her and not willing to admit that he was equal parts ready and scared shitless.
“I have no doubt I’ll be reminding you of that as the day wears on.” She laughed, then grimaced as she gritted her teeth when a new contraction began.
“Breathe, Cass, breathe. Hee-hee-hoo. Hee-hee-hoo,” he chanted as Sam had instructed during their labor classes. Milo said Ash was on her way, but Chris was hoping Sam would make it, too. He already knew that while Ash was instructed on deliveries, she had only assisted. He prayed Doc would arrive in time. At least Sam had midwifed several babies and would know what to do.
The contraction felt like an eternity to Chris, but soon Cassie relaxed again and smiled.
“They’re stronger than I expected so early,” she confessed.
“Doc’s been saving some pain meds for you in case you need them. You just have to hold out till he gets here,” Chris told her.
She shook her head. “I don’t want to waste them unless it’s absolutely necessary. You hear me? I know how important they are. Women have been birthing babies since the days of Eve without them. I can do this. So, unless he has to take them, I don’t even want them offered.”
“I know how you feel about Cass, but I want you to know you can change your mind. You’re not birthing a baby,” he said exaggerating the ‘a’.
“I know that, but I’m serious, here,” she said as her eyes went wide and she grabbed his hand in a vice grip as another contraction hit her hard. Her forehead was beaded with sweat by the time it subsided.
“Woah, that was a lot closer. Mom, are you timing them?” Cassie asked. Chris had turned everyone out and completely forgot that both Jeanette and his mom were still in the room.
“No, sweetie, but we’re starting now. That was too close. Hopefully it was a fluke—” But before she could finish that thought, another contraction slammed through Cassie.
Chris thought she might have broken his hand through that one, but he didn’t dare complain. A broken bone was nothing compared to what he was witnessing.
“When is Doc arriving?” Chris demanded. He was starting to panic.
“I’ll go check,” his mother said, reassuring him that everything was fine.
Cassie had three more contractions before the door opened again. They knew they were now coming every two minutes. Chris expected to see his mother, but Sam peeked her head in, and Chris wanted to kiss her, he was so happy to see her.
“Hey, I hope I’m not intruding. Doc’s still about twenty minutes out and Ashlyn got tied up at the range on the way in. There was an accident. Let’s just say optics don’t work too well when you put your eye all the way up on them when you shoot.
Chris shook his head. He didn’t even want to ask who. Idiot.
“I was visiting with Karen when your mom came in asking about Doc. I’d have been here all along if I’d heard sooner,” Sam said. “So how are we doing?”
Cassie screamed out in pain through the next contraction.
“Two minutes apart and getting stronger,” Jeanette informed her.
“What?” she asked in shock. “They told me her water broke less than an hour ago.”
“I know, but these babies are coming fast,” she admitted.
Chris was in awe as he watched Sam transform from their friend checking in to see if there was anything she could do to help, to midwife at the ready.
Cassie had already stripped and was wearing a loose-fitting dress and no underwear, per her mother’s insistence. Sam pulled out the stirrups hidden in the bed and placed her feet in them. That brought her knees up.
“Chris, adjust the bed and sit her up a little more,” she ordered.
“Are you sure?” he asked.
“Just do it,” Sam said, leaving no room for argument.
As the next contraction started to consume her, Cassie noticed some of the pressure had shifted and was a little more manageable.
“Better?” Sam asked when it had subsided.
“Yeah, actually it was,” Cassie confessed.
“Good, ‘cause Baby A ain’t messing around. I’m gonna check you to be sure, but I believe there’s a head trying to crown on us already.”
Chris looked away as Sam got to work. He knew what all it took to deliver this baby, but he still didn’t think he’d fully recover if he had to actually see it happening. Instead, he turned and focused solely on Cassie. Another contraction was starting before Sam was through with her check.
“You’re doing great, Cassie. Baby one is head down and looking good. You’re at about seven centimeters and at this rate we’ll be pushing in no time. Right now, try not to fight the contractions. Breathe, relax as much as you can, and try really hard not to push,” Sam coached.
As the next contraction began, she massaged Cassie’s feet and looked around the room, satisfied all the baby’s needs were there and ready. She hoped Ashlyn would arrive soon. She knew the girl weren’t no help with delivery, but she was ready to care for the infants as they made their arrivals. Sam was ready to do the rest. She was certain the first one would make an appearance before Doc got there.
“Good job, Cassie. Just keep breathing. It helps your body relax,” Sam instructed.
Three contractions later, Cassie’s eyes got wide and said she thought she was going to poop. Her face turned bright red and Chris tried not to laugh while she smacked him.
“That’s usually a sign it’s go time,” Sam informed her, lifting the sheet covering her and immediately seeing the top of the baby’s head pushing out. “Wow, yup, you’re ready to start pushing.”
“If I push, I’m going to poop myself,” Cassie said through gritted teeth.
“And you wouldn’t be the first to do that, but mostly you’re just feeling the pressure of the baby’s head. On this next contraction, I want you to bear down and push with all you’ve got,” Sam said.
Cassie screamed, but did as she was told.
“Hold up, try to relax for a sec,” Sam told her as the contraction subsided.
“I can’t, I can’t. I need to push,” Cassie said.
“No, you need to listen to your body.”
Another contraction hit and Chris noticed her face turning a strange shade of green as she pulled her knees to her chest and pushed with all her might. He hadn’t meant to, hadn’t wanted to, but when Sam yelled for her to stop pushing, Chris looked down just in time to see the tiny head pop through and Sam carefully turned the baby as he saw the child’s face for the first time. Tears pricked his eyes.
When the next contraction started, Chris cheered her on. “One good push Cass, that’s all you need is one good push. Come on, you can do it.” Sam smiled up at him with tears in her own eyes as she nodded. One more push was all it took for the shoulders to come through, with the rest quickly following. Chris couldn’t tear his eyes away.
“It’s a boy,” he said softly, turning his head towards his beautiful wife. “It’s a boy!” he yelled out in excitement.
The door opened, and Ash walked in, her hands covered in blood.
“Sorry for the delay, just let me clean up real quick, and—” She froze as the baby let out a wail of a cry taking his first real breath. “That’s a baby. Oh my gosh! That’s a baby! They said it would be a few more hours. I’d never have wasted time on that idiot if I’d known.”
As she quickly went to clean up, Jeanette came over with a blanket to wrap the child in. Sam clamped the umbilical cord and asked Chris if he’d like to do the honors. He was prepared to say no, but at that point he was all in.
Cassie’s eyes were a little glassed over, but she was beaming as they laid the squirming child on her chest and checked him over. She still had a lot of work to do, but for the moment, her body was resting.
They didn’t let her keep the baby nearly long enough, in her mind, before he was whisked away and more thoroughly checked out and cleaned up. He fussed the whole time.
“I ain’t never seen a twin that big before. You sure Doc had it right and there’s two of them in there?” Sam started to question.
“He seemed pretty certain, and I’ve even gotten both heartbeats clearly myself,” Ashlyn told her.
“Can I borrow your stethoscope?” Sam asked. When Ash handed it over, Sam listened to Cassie’s stomach. Certain enough there was a strong second heartbeat. She had Chris recline the bed back so she could feel along her belly. Sam frowned.
“What’s wrong?” Chris asked.
“I think the baby’s breech. We need to turn him, or her,” Sam said. She started gently applying pressure to Cassie’s stomach trying to encourage baby number two to move before it started dropping in preparation for delivery.
The baby wouldn’t budge. Chris’s mom reappeared and was shocked to find a baby already delivered. She apologized for missing it and went to help tend to her new precious grandson. Once the baby was given the all clear he was swaddled and left in the care of his doting grandmothers.
“Ash, need you to get me an ETA on Doc. This baby doesn’t want to move. He’ll either have to deliver breech or a quick cesarean, but that’s for him to decide. Heart rate’s holding strong, so that’s a good sign that all is well in there,” Sam said, sounding much calmer than she felt inside.
Ash left the room, returning a few minutes later. “Five minutes out. Hang in there Cassie,” she said, smiling and trying to be reassuring.
Cassie cried out in pain as another contraction hit. They were starting again. Chris noted the concerned looks but focused on his wife and encouraged her through the contractions, feeling more helpless than ever.
It felt like an eternity before Doc arrived. As he did, Cassie gripped Chris’s arm and turned large wild eyes to him. He started to panic.
“The baby’s coming,” she said.
Sam moved to check and sure enough, a pair of tiny feet were starting to peek through.
“Doc, we have a breech,” she said.
He didn’t hesitate as he sprang into action.
“Ashlyn, I need you to keep a check on this wee one’s heart rate. Sam, you know what to feel for, help me guide this babe on out. Mama, how are we holding up?”
Cassie smiled at him. She looked weak and exhausted, but he had to focus on the baby first.
“And how’s baby one?” he asked.
“He’s perfect,” the grandmothers gushed in unison.
Doc smiled. “We have a wee lad, then. Wonderful.”
The baby dropped faster than Doc and Sam would have liked and all they could do was react, wait, and see. It was too late to move to surgery; he or she was coming and coming fast.
“I ain’t positive, but I think arms are down by his sides,” Sam said at last.
“As long as they don’t get hung up on the way, we can work with that,” Doc said. “It’s very important not to push, Cassie,” Doc said calmly. “I’m going to have to pull him out more, then have you push him. We want to be sure nothing gets hung up and broke on his exit.”
“What?” Cassie asked, panicking.
“Relax. That’s the best thing you can do. I know how hard that feels right now, but just keep breathing,” Doc advised.
Chris left her side for only a minute. He retrieved the baby from his mother’s arms and brought him over to Cassie. He marveled at just how perfect he was.
“Matthew is ready to be a big brother, Mommy,” Chris said holding the baby in front of her. “Doc says you need to relax. Look at our perfect son, little Matty.”
Cassie cried happy tears and, staring at the baby, the next contraction didn’t feel quite so daunting, because she knew it was all worth it.
Doc, Sam, and Ash worked quickly and efficiently. Satisfied the baby was lined up as best as possible and the heart rate was holding, he looked up and smiled.
“Next contraction I want you to push, but only a little, Cassie. I know that will be difficult, but we’re ready to deliver another baby.”
There was relief and nerves combined throughout the room, with a bit of excitement thrown in.
Chris handed the baby back to the moms and on the next contraction, Cassie pushed. Chris looked down as half the little boy shot out.
“A boy,” he said. “We have a Zachary, Cass. It’s another boy. You’re doing great!”
“Hold up,” Doc ordered as he checked the child again. “Okay, I think you can give me one big push this time.”
As the pain began to escalate again, Cassie pushed with all her might as Doc grabbed the baby by the ankles and pulled. He gave one big cry, then went perfectly still.
Sam didn’t waste any time as she grabbed the baby and took him to the table to check him over. He was starting to turn blue as she quickly worked on him, talking softly and begging him to breathe.
The boys had done extensive damage to their mother, and Doc was busy patching her up when her whole body stilled, then began convulsing.
“Clear the room,” Doc yelled.
With tears in their eyes, the grandmothers swaddled baby Matty close and left. Chris was a little harder to convince, but Ashlyn kept assuring him they were doing all they could, and he needed to wait outside.
Jared came walking down the hall just as Chris came out.
“Hey, how’s it going? We having a baby today or what?” Jared asked, but one look at Chris’s pale face shot ice cold fear through him.
Jeanette brought chairs for them to camp out in the hallway as they awaited the news. Chris was moving as if in a dream, or more like a nightmare. They made him sit and hold his newborn son. Matty was alive and well and appeared to be strong.
Jared kept staring down at the little bundle in his friend’s arms. He had never seen a baby so close or so little, at least not that he could remember. He never asked Chris what was wrong, or pushed him to talk about it, he just sat there with him in silence, watching in awe the sweet baby he held. He knew he’d talk when he was ready.
It wasn’t much longer before Chris started to open up. “What am I going to do, Jared? I can’t lose her. I can’t lose either of them.”
Jared knew it must be serious, but he didn’t expect it to be that serious. He wondered if that were a possibility and what he’d do if he were in Chris’s shoes.
“They’ve got a lot of prayers coming their way. Cassie’s strong. She’s not going to leave her babies without a fight. Whatever happens, you have more support and love surrounding you than any man I know. It’s going to be okay. You’ll do whatever you have to do.”
“Matty,” Chris said. “It’s a boy. And you’re right, I’ll always do whatever it takes to keep him safe, happy, and healthy. I just don’t want to do it alone.”
“No matter what, you’re not alone,” Jared told him. The two men shared a look. They had talked enough that Chris understand Jared of all people knew what it was like to be alone, and he was right, Chris would never know what that felt like and neither would his son.
It was several hours before the door opened again, and that felt like a lifetime to those waiting. Doc wasn’t smiling, but neither was Ashlyn crying.
“She’s going to be okay. Her body went into shock and she suffered some trauma, but she’s okay. A few weeks of healing and she’ll be just fine,” Doc said, quickly putting Chris out of his misery.
“And the baby?” he asked hesitantly.
“Little Zach is just perfect, Chris,” Sam said with a smile, peeking her head out of the room. He’s sleeping, but stable. We’re going to watch him at least over night as he did have some breathing struggles at first, but I have no doubts he’ll be fine, too.”
“Can I see them?” he asked.
“Of course,” Doc said.
Chris stood and passed the baby to Jared as he walked slowly in to the room, needing to assure himself they were both truly fine. Jared sat there awkwardly, trying to hold the squirming bundle. Karen, like most who lived in the bunker, had joined them in vigil in the hallways. She took pity on him but didn’t take the child from him. Instead, she repositioned his arms and showed him how to hold the child.
Little Matty looked up at him and reached out to grab hold of his finger. With a big yawn for such a tiny creature, he closed his eyes and fell fast asleep, still holding tight. Jared looked on in wonder, as his perception of the world changed just a little bit more.
* * * * *