Chapter 23: Holly
WITH JESSE’S NEW-FOUND FREEDOM, he and Holly settled into a different sort of life in the shelter. He was getting to know a lot of the men, and many of the women, too. Most had been military prior to the collapse. He had flashbacks of his childhood best friend, and spending time on base with his family. He hadn’t let himself think of Tony Barnes in a very long time. His family had moved just before the craziness began and to this day, he had no idea what had happened to his old friend. In the weeks since Oliver’s death, life had changed. With the help of Michael’s wife, who Jesse learned was a midwife, and Holly’s dietary changes, she threw up less and began putting some weight back on. Her cheeks were no longer hollow and if there had been any doubt about the pregnancy, it was quickly put to rest as her belly began to expand.
In all that time, Jesse had not once seen the General. Holly had an occasional closed-door meeting with him and Michael, but he hadn’t been privy to join them so far. At least they stopped escorting him back to his room to wait for her under armed guard now. It was taking time to integrate into the new environment, but Jesse had made an effort and it was paying off big time.
“Hey, you,” Holly said, walking into their room after a meeting with the General.
“Hey yourself. How’d the meeting go?”
“Good. Gunny will be offsite for the next few days, but when he returns, I need you to join me talking to him.”
“Really?” Jesse asked, trying not to sound too excited. This is what he was here for after all. Dread quickly replaced the excitement. Holly trusted him, and that meant a lot to Jesse. She had gone out of her way to integrate him into this group, and that too meant the world to him. He was conflicted on what his next step should be and felt the weight of the world pressing down on his shoulders.
Jesse Sullivan was taken in by General Steinfeld himself during the collapse of the civilization. He had been a small kid, often bullied, but Bobby Steinfeld saw something in that scrawny, scrappy kid. After his parents died, he’d stayed with a group of military men, not unlike the squad he found himself with on this most recent mission. Bobby had found him, saved him, showed him a better life. He taught him to fight, to survive, and never to fear bullies again. He was now the one everyone feared.
He was just a kid when he signed on to the allied militia, one of the very first. Because of that, his AMAN brothers often overlooked him. In truth, he was equally ranked with Major Maynor, and technically above him due to seniority. Bobby had always kept him close. He turned him into a lethal killing machine, but his young age and boyish good looks got him into places others just couldn’t. He was the AMAN’s number-one assassin and he was pissed when he’d been told of this assignment; babysitting Griffon’s ex-girlfriend was below his paygrade as far as he was concerned.
When he first met Holly Jenkins, she was this tiny form of nothing, always crying. Her eyes were dull, and the life was gone out of her. He was shocked when she’d gotten the upper hand on him and escaped. Truly shocked, and nothing surprised Jesse in that way.
That was the first moment he’d seen a spark in her eyes. He saw it again when she defiantly insisted on having her own gun, and he damn well hadn’t expected her to actually know what to do with it. He started keeping a little bit closer eye on her at that point.
Her kindness and generosity towards the old man astounded him, but he’d come to know that she would literally give away her last crumb or the shirt off her back to help a complete stranger. Even before the world fell apart, he couldn’t remember ever knowing someone like that.
His mission from Griffon was to protect the girl. But Griffon Maynor didn’t know his true mission came from General Steinfeld himself. Keep the girl close, identify and kill General “Gunny” Jackson, then kill the girl. His time was closing in now. He’d soon have that opportunity to take out the General, but would he take it?
He had never gotten attached to a case before. Never. It was what made him the lethal assassin Bobby Steinfeld kept in his back pocket. Now Holly was pregnant. Just the other day, she felt the baby kick for the first time and her face lit up like the brightest star on a dark night. She had grabbed his hand and placed it on her stomach. He felt the tiny life inside her move against his hand. In that moment, he knew the mission was blown. There was no way he would take this woman’s life. It may end his career, but there was something about Holly Jenkins that made him feel like that would be okay. Or maybe that was the true problem. Holly made him feel something at all.
She hadn’t been anything he had ever expected to find. As she came back to life before his very eyes, it became harder and harder for Jesse to remain detached. Holly had really opened up to him. They often would lay awake at night talking into the wee hours of morning. He never shared much about himself, but he would listen and discuss whatever she wanted to share.
He now knew all about her crazy whirlwind of a romance with Griffon Maynor, knew why she hated the AMAN as much as she did and why she could never fully trust them. He learned more than he ever cared to know about her husband Jared, who was the love of her life. He found it sad for Holly that she was adamant she’d never have another man, never take another husband. She was still so young and clearly had so much love to give.
Jesse also knew that her heart was too big for a guy like him. He liked Holly a lot, more than any other person in the world even, and he made a personal vow that no matter what, he would protect her with his life.
That night as they lay in their beds, head to head, talking in the dark, Holly began to share her plans.
“Jesse?”
“Yeah?”
“You still awake?”
“You really want me to answer that?”
Holly laughed. “Shut up, I was just checking.”
“What’s bothering you?” he asked.
“How do you know something’s bothering me?”
“Because you asked instead of just launching into it. You’re stalling. So what’s up?”
Holly sighed. Jesse Sullivan had gotten to know her a little too well. Holly knew he was good at reading people and assessing situations. She didn’t really get his story, but she had no doubt he was a whole lot smarter than people gave him credit for.
“Do you think the AMAN will actually listen to me if I try to help?”
“What?” Jesse asked, suddenly wide awake and curious. He propped himself up on his elbows and looked over at her lying there, staring at the ceiling. Her hand absentmindedly rubbing her protruding belly.
“I need you to be completely honest with me, Jesse. Am I being used as a chess piece with the AMAN to take out Gunny and his people?”
He wasn’t surprised she was asking. Actually, he was more surprised she hadn’t asked sooner, but then, if she had, he wouldn’t have answered her honestly. Now he wanted to tell her, but it would compromise the entire mission. He was struggling internally on what to say as the minutes ticked by.
She sighed again. “You don’t have to answer. Your silence already tells me plenty.”
“Holly, it’s just, I don’t even know how to answer that. I think Griffon may genuinely want to help, to push forward with a peace treaty and make things better for most. There are others in the militia that just want more power. He was given a very short timeframe to make a change. It’s why he went after you so aggressively to begin with. I saw what it did to him afterwards. He never wanted to hurt you or anyone, but his hands were tied.”
Holly didn’t say a word, she just listened and took it in. She knew in some warped sense of reality that Griffon truly believed what he was doing was for the good. She understood he still loved her, but for her, that ship had sailed a long time ago, and now there was too much damage between them to ever mend that.
“I’m sorry if that’s not the answer you wanted,” Jesse finally said, unable to stand her silence anymore.
“Oh, it’s okay. You, uh, you said that others just wanted the power. They’d be out to hurt the General, wouldn’t they?”
“Yes,” he confessed.
“I want to get Griffon and Gunny to sit down for a face-to-face. Do you think that’s a bad idea? Will it be a trap? Can it be done on neutral soil and actually stand a chance of working?”
“There are those with orders to kill Gunny at first sight, Holly. I really don’t know if what you’re asking is possible.”
“You didn’t,” Holly said, throwing him off his game.
“What?”
“When Gunny first revealed his true identity to me, you were there. You wanted to kill him, I saw it in your eyes, but you didn’t. Why?”
Jesse sucked in a deep breath and let it out in one sharp move. Holly was far more observant than he gave her credit for. He was beginning to wonder just how much he had underestimated her.
“I couldn’t. I needed the coordinates of his base, and I needed to assess the threat,” he finally said honestly.
Holly let out a disappointed breath of air that wrenched his gut. This was his life; it was who he was. Why did one little girl affect him so much?
“He led us right towards the coordinates, and I’ve given you free reign of the place. Do you consider them a threat?” she asked boldly.
“I don’t know,” he said honestly.
“I want you present to hear my full plan when I explain it to the General. Will you try to kill him this time? Or will you give me a chance to do what they’re asking of me? I need you to be entirely honest, Jesse. I don’t know who or what you are, but I know you’re more than a babysitter Griffon assigned to watch after me.”
“You’re more observant than people think, you know? Michael is convinced you have no idea what you’re doing or the affect you have on people every day.”
“There’s some truth to that. I don’t consider talking to people, taking a moment to listen, or asking how they’re doing with genuine concern a gift or an effect on people. It’s just basic humanity. Michael seems to think it’s something extraordinary, but I think people just forgot how to care for others. I mean, if you look around the group, I’m not doing anything different than anyone else, I’m just the outsider and, what, I shouldn’t care because of that? I shouldn’t try to reach out and connect with people who aren’t part of my immediate family or inner circle? I just wasn’t raised that way.”
“You never really had to live through the time of ‘kill or be killed.’ It was bad out here, Hols,” Jesse explained. “You had to do whatever was needed to survive. I was just a scrawny kid back then. I did what I had to do. I still do what I have to do.”
“And what exactly is that, Jesse?”
“Right now, that’s protecting you. My choice, Holly. You’ve earned it. Nothing will happen to you as long as you stay by my side and they don’t kill me first. You can count on that.”
Holly shuddered at his sincerity. The way he said it made her wonder aloud. “Are you supposed to kill me?” she whispered.
“Yeah, I was. I won’t do it,. They’ll have to kill me first. You’re safe with me. I promise.”
“Why? Why do the AMAN want me dead so badly?”
“I’ve spoken enough with Michael to know you already know the answer to that. Griffon is an idealist. He only gets away with it because he’s family to the General. General Steinfeld’s only appeasing him.”
Holly’s heart sunk. “Great,” she sighed. “You just made my job a whole hell of a lot harder.”
“What’s your job exactly?” he asked, curious to hear her answer.
“Mend this country, or what’s left it. Bring people together and start rebuilding. I thought Gunny was crazy when he first told me that. You know, that I could possibly have that much impact on anything. I’ve seen his maps of what he’s attributed as the ‘Wildflower effect,’ it’s so much bigger than me, Jesse. I didn’t believe him. I didn’t want that kind of pressure. But now? How can I not accept it? How can I not at least try? I want a better world for this baby. If it’s up to me to make that happen, then I’m ready to take that challenge.”
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