Chapter 14

Ellie

 

What was I thinking? Hadn’t I just said, only hours earlier, that I couldn’t let him get to me? I had a daughter to think about. I had myself to think about. Yet there I was, letting my hormones take over. More than that—my need. I had been so lonely, and he had a way of simply looking at me that made me want him. My body screamed for him, so close to getting what it had missed for so long.

 

I let him take control, giving myself over to him. Once the bedroom door shut behind us, he took my face in his hands and kissed me deeply. His tongue forced into my mouth almost instantly, but I welcomed it, the way he sent fire throughout me just with a kiss. His hands quickly moved to my body, skimming my curves, taking the time to feel me, touch me, stroke and fondle. The heat between my legs built to a raging inferno almost instantly as he took inventory of me. I sighed, my arms wrapping around his neck, then sliding down so I could take his body in. The broad shoulders. The bulging biceps. A thick, muscular chest and chiseled abs. He took off his shirt, and I ran my fingers over the washboard, feeling the muscles leap to my touch.

 

I hooked my fingers in his waistband, drawing a groan from his lips. I pulled back, signaling for quiet. He nodded, then pushed me back onto the bed. I didn’t know whether to squeal or feel afraid. The power of him, the strength. He was so rough. What would he do to me?

 

He started by pulling the straps of my tank top over my shoulders, kissing the bare skin of my chest. I sighed, running my hands over his back and shoulders. His lips set blazes wherever they touched.

 

He worked the front of my top down, exposing my breasts to his hands and mouth. He sucked them hungrily, his tongue moving over them, his hands kneading them as he worked. My eyes rolled back in my head, and when I felt his hardness press against my hip, I gasped. He drove himself against me, promising so much more than what he gave. I met his pressure with my own, pushing upward, grinding against him as he sucked my delicate flesh.

 

He moved lower, leaving a trail of wet kisses down my stomach before pulling down my pants and panties in one quick motion. I gasped, reaching down to cover myself. He pulled my hands away, pinning them to the bed for a second. My heart raced.

 

He knelt beside the bed, between my legs. I closed my eyes, willing myself not to be embarrassed. I wondered if there was a woman in the world who didn’t feel even the slightest bit embarrassed when a man went down on her for the first time. What would he think? Did I look weird? Smell or taste weird? Connor had been down there a few times, but I had never liked it very much. Parker made me think otherwise. He made me think differently about a lot of things.

 

When his lips touched my inner thigh, I sighed. It was so sweet and gentle. Another kiss, then another. Like the beating of butterfly wings. His hands told another story, however. He gripped my thighs with all the strength of his powerful arms, telling me he barely held himself back for my sake. I couldn’t believe it, but I actually felt even more aroused at the thought.

 

Then he dragged his tongue up the length of my cleft, until he paused just over top of my hot, aching button. He didn’t touch it, though, licking down instead. Up and down, making me crazy with need, aching for more, straining upward, desperate for the feeling of his tongue. I wasn’t shy anymore. All I wanted was to feel good.

 

Then he gave it to me, finally dipping inside until he made contact with my throbbing clit. I arched my back, holding his head in place, tangling my fingers in his hair. It was unbelievable. I didn’t want it to ever end, his slow, methodical licking, touching every bit of me, making my body sing and burn and ache. He took his time, building my pleasure higher, higher.

 

I didn’t think I could take any more. I was almost sure of it. I would die if it got any better. I couldn’t handle it. I couldn’t. And still he licked, on and on, driving me wild. My head rolled back and forth on the bed as cries poured from my open mouth in between gasps for air.

 

“Parker! Please! I can’t take anymore!” It was like he didn’t hear me—if anything, he doubled his efforts, focusing attention on the tip of my throbbing, aching button. The tip of his tongue touched it, rubbing ever so slightly back and forth. It was exquisite, it was almost torture. I couldn’t take it. I would die. Didn’t he know I would die if he didn’t stop making me feel so good? I clutched the sheets, balling them up in my hands until the fitted sheet pulled from the mattress. And on he went.

 

He held me still, keeping me in one place while his tongue worked on me. How he could do what he did, I didn’t know. He flicked back and forth so rapidly, with just the right pressure. He knew just what to do. How did he know? I trusted him, even though I wanted it to end. Anything to stop the torture of being so close to completion, my nerves were on fire.

 

“Parker…please…” I begged, so close. “Please don’t stop.” If he stopped, my whole body would burst into flames. The pressure in my core pulled tighter…tighter…I couldn’t bear it if it got any tighter. “Yes!” I gasped, back arching, writhing as an orgasm high me. I gripped his head with my thighs, my hands, holding him in place while my entire body exploded.

 

Still he licked me, slowing down, letting me ride it out, swirling his tongue up and down my cleft as I pulsed and shuddered.

 

“Oh my God,” I whispered, my head spinning. I didn’t know what to do, so I just stayed there, certain I could glow in the dark. He had completely overtaken me and made sure I felt more pleasure than I ever had. Even when I didn’t want to, even when I didn’t I was able to, he had faith in me. And I could never look back.

 

I opened my eyes, feeling like a different person. He grinned up at me, still between my legs, kissing the insides of my thighs. I sighed, running my hands through his hair. I saw the pride in his face, the pride of a job well done. He had no idea. My muscles still pulsed and twitched, coming down from that massive high.

 

I waited while he rolled a condom over his length—his massive length, twice the size of Connor’s. Could I take him in? I had given birth, so I thought it wouldn’t be too difficult. Still, I didn’t want him to hurt me. It had been so long since I’d been with a man, and as ready as I was, I didn’t think there was any getting ready for what Parker packed.

 

He climbed up the bed, up me, until he covered my body with his. My heart beat even faster than it had before I came, because this was it. No going back. I wondered how he would be, how he would treat me. Would he ride me, break me in, treat me like a thing to screw? No, he couldn’t. Not after the way he had been with me already. Whatever he did, I knew I would like it. I spread my legs, wrapping them around his waist as he positioned himself against me. The pressure alone was enough to send shockwaves through me. He’s so big.

 

The first thrust was like nothing I could have imagined. It was nothing like I ever experienced with Connor, and he was my first and only. Parker was a different person. A different man. More of a man, even. When he entered me, I gasped, throwing my head back in shock as he filled me so completely. I didn’t know it was possible to be filled like that, to feel pleasure like that from a single thrust. I thought, somewhere in the back of my mind, that I finally understood a little bit of what made sex such a big deal.

 

“Okay?” he asked.

 

I nodded quickly, wanting more and fast. He slid out, taking me again. Again. Thrusting into me. Invading me over and over the way his tongue had invaded my mouth, my folds. Taking what he wanted, the way he wanted it. Hard and deep, his hips rotating as he went, grinding against me. I let him ride me as I held on for dear life, my arms and legs around him, gripping him, touching him. His bulging muscles working under my hands as he moved, his butt flexing as he worked his hot length in and out of me.

 

He licked my lips, then moved down to my neck where he licked and sucked my skin, his tongue flicking over me there as it had when he was between my legs. I gritted my teeth against the cries that threatened to erupt, unwilling to wake Isabella. I couldn’t let the pleasure end. It would have been too much if it ended.

 

His thrusts were deep, hard, filling me again and again. He was so thick, I felt every inch of him as he slid in and out. It was unspeakable, the pleasure of him inside me and on top of me and all around me. I met his mouth again for a kiss, his teeth on my bottom lip making me hiss. I loved it, though. I loved all of it. My legs tightened around his butt, pulling him closer, harder, faster. He took my cue, picking up his pace.

 

“Yes,” I whispered. It was all I could say, but it spoke everything I was feeling. Yes. More of that. Yes. Deeper. Yes. All of it, give me all of you. Yes. I want it. This is all I want, all I need. I didn’t know I needed it until now. I didn’t know I even deserved it until now. This was what I’d always needed, what everybody needed, the feeling of fulfillment and passion.

 

I felt it building again, bigger than before. I thought it might swallow me whole when it crashed down upon me—and I welcomed it. I wanted it. I wanted to lose myself in total abandon, to finally feel the sort of passion I’d always wondered about but had never felt for myself. I wanted Parker to take me to the heights of what was possible.

 

I moved with him, jerking my hips upward. His free hand traveled over me, gripping my thigh, my hip, squeezing my breast. I closed my hand over his, signaling him to keep doing that. The pleasure built even more. I cried out softly, the side of my fist in my mouth, stifling what threatened to come out and give us away.

 

“Yeah…come for me…” His whisper in my ear was all I needed to shoot up over the edge. The wave crested, broke, then slammed down and nearly drowned me. I went wild, legs, arms, everything tightening around him. My mouth found its way to his shoulder and I bit down to vent some of the soul-rocking ecstasy radiating through me. I couldn’t scream, though I wanted to more than anything. I wanted to scream the whole building down. I wanted everyone to know what he had done to me. Done for me.

 

I couldn’t. All I could do was ride it out until it subsided. In the meantime, Parker’s thrusts grew faster until he came, as well, his face in the pillow, crying out as he shuddered. I held him close, a feeling of total protectiveness coming over me. I wanted to hold him as he let go inside me. It was the least I could do for him after what he had done for me. I couldn’t explain it.

 

He stayed there after he’d gone still, stretched out on top of me. I didn’t know what to do, what to think, how to feel.

 

So that was what it was all about! I felt like a veil had been lifted from my eyes. For my entire life, I’d been seeing a shadowy version of the way things were supposed to be. A sort of blurred version of how men and women could be together. Parker lifted that veil, showed me the world in living color, clear and sharp and vital and primal. I had never felt that way—I didn’t even know it was possible.

 

I didn’t know who it made me, or who it made the person heaving and panting above me. His face was on my shoulder, his breath hot and moist against my skin. I didn’t mind it. I thought I might even love it. I loved the feeling of being totally one with another person, even to the point where his sweat mingled with mine. It was all so fresh and exciting, and deeply satisfying.

 

Satisfied. That was a word I would never have used with Connor. It was all I could think about with Parker. For once, I didn’t feel like I’d have to finish myself off later—if at all. I didn’t have to swallow back my disappointment at yet another encounter which did nothing for me. I never, ever could have told Connor that. He would have lost his mind if he didn’t think I came every time. Not like he ever bothered to find out if I had, or if there was anything he could do for me to get me there better or faster or more. He was content to think a few minutes of thrusting into me was enough.

 

But this was a revelation! I felt like I didn’t need anything more. Whether I wanted more was another story—I already wondered if we could do it again.

 

I closed my eyes, saying a silent prayer. If I had to put up with years of Connor to find out how good life could be, I could accept that as long as it kept being good. I couldn’t handle it if I woke up to what I really wanted or what I was really capable of, only to have it taken away. That wouldn’t have been fair.

 

And it was a prayer of thanks, too. Thanks for finally, at the age of twenty-five, having an orgasm I didn’t have to make happen on my own.