Stephanie is moving in today. I run a hand across the stubble on my chin and shake my head in disbelief at what I’ve let myself get roped into. One minute I’m trying to convince myself I’m over the girl and that I’m about to close the door once and for all on my past. The next? I’m agreeing to take a kid in and pretending to be in a relationship with a one-night-stand from four months ago.

It was only yesterday that I saw her by chance and made the dumbass decision to walk over to her. I couldn’t help it though. I might as well have fought against gravity for those few moments. It wasn’t like anything I’ve ever experienced.

One minute I was focused on getting this kid to a better home and going back to my usual shitshow of a life, the next I’m walking toward Stephanie like a fucking love-sick zombie. Love. I could laugh at the idea. I think my dad beat the love out of me a long damn time ago, and if it wasn’t him, she showed me enough to make me want to keep an emotional distance from anyone and everyone. No attachments. No messy emotions. I had a simple philosophy and in a few minutes I managed to fuck it all up.

But I’d be lying if I said the thought of having her tight little ass roaming around my house didn’t get my blood flowing. It’s uncharted territory for me. I’m so used to shoving people out of my life as soon as I can that I don’t even really know where it goes from here, but I know the truth is it probably isn’t going anywhere. She’s not doing this because she wants to be near me. She wants the kid.

I saw it in her from the first few minutes I was with her after the auction. Something is deeply broken inside her, just like me. I don’t know what the missing piece is to the puzzle that would unfuck my life, but from the way she jumped at the chance to adopt Cole, I know what is missing from her puzzle. She needs a kid. I just can’t figure out why she’d want to adopt when she’s single. I guess I don’t really know what is and isn’t normal, but that doesn’t seem normal to me.

The sounds of explosions from the TV draw my attention back to the here and now. I head out of my room and into the living room where I’ve got Cole playing some action game I picked up for him at the store. I don’t know the first thing about entertaining kids, but I know kids like video games.

“That game fun?” I ask.

“Dad never let me play games,” he says.

“Yeah well fu—” I clear my throat. Real nice, Tristan. I may not know shit about being a temporary parent, but I can at least avoid swearing in front of the kid. “Well, if you need a drink or something there are sodas in the fridge. There’s stuff to make peanut butter and jelly in the pantry. If you’re into that kinda thing.”

“I don’t know how to make a sandwich,” he says, looking up at me like I’m ridiculous for thinking he could.

“Well damn,” I say. “What can you do?”

“I’m potty trained,” he says proudly.

I chuckle. “Congrats. You can wipe your own ass, but you can’t even make a sandwich?”

“Wipe my own ass?” he asks.

I cringe. “Don’t say that word.”

“Wipe?” he asks.

“Ass. It’s a bad word.”

“Why did you say it?”

“Because I’m not a very nice man.”

The doorbell rings. Cole perks up. “Who’s that?”

“Stay here,” I say. I head to the front door and try to pretend I don’t feel a growing sense of excitement building in me. I told myself I’d handle this like a business deal. She’s staying in my house, but it’s just so we can get Cole into the right home. If I let things get personal, it’s going to turn this arrangement into a huge mess.

I pull the door open and she’s waiting on the front porch with a small suitcase. Her brown hair is pulled back in a neat ponytail and she’s wearing a simple outfit of jeans with a big winter jacket and boots. Even through all the layers, I can still picture that perfect body of hers. I can remember how it felt to have her milky soft skin beneath my rough hands, how sweet it was to draw moan after moan from her lips as I drove myself into her.

Stop it. I motion for her to come in, forcing myself not to grin or say anything about how good she looks. “Come in,” I say.

“This place looks even bigger during the day,” she says. She sucks her bottom lip into her mouth and looks down, clearly embarrassed because she just reminded us both about the last time she was here—the time I took her virginity.

“You’ll get used to it. Come on. I’ll show you where your room is.” There are several spare bedrooms in the house. Four are on the ground floor and one is upstairs just across the hall from my master suite. I prepared one of the downstairs rooms for her earlier today, but for some reason I walk past the hallway where most of the downstairs guest rooms are, leading her toward the stairs.

I show her into the room across from mine. “This is yours,” I say a little stiffly. “Mine is right across the hall if you need anything.”

She gives me a curious look, clearly wondering about my intentions in giving her a room so close to mine.

“The other rooms aren’t as nice,” I say. It’s a weak lie, and if she gets curious enough to look at them she’ll see it’s not true. They’re all about the same.

“I see,” she says. “Well, thank you for giving me the nicest room, then.”

She tosses her suitcase next to the bed and then moves to stand beside me again. “Where’s Cole?”

“Downstairs playing a game.”

“Can I see him?”

“Yeah, sure.”

I take her back down the stairs while my mind is racing. I thought this was going to be easy. Just thinking about her across the hall from me, about her undressing for bed and laying there so goddamn close I could be with her in a heartbeat… Maybe this was a mistake, but it’s too late to put a stop to it now.

We find Cole right where I left him. It’s only when Stephanie is with me that I realize letting him play a game where he’s shooting people might not have been the most age-appropriate decision. The look on her face confirms she’s thinking the same thing.

She leans in close, lowering her voice. “All the kids games and you picked that one for him?”

“Some… mistakes may have been made.”

To my surprise, she looks amused. “I guess it’s a good thing I’m here then, isn’t it?”

“Maybe it is,” I say. A strange chill runs through me when I hear the words come out of my mouth, as if they mean more than I realize.