“I’m going to fucking kill him.”
Pryce’s arms were locked around Nina’s body, subduing her—with difficulty—as she tried her hardest to burst out the back door. Rachel ran over to help, seizing Nina’s legs after she started windmilling them in the air. She kept thrashing, even though she knew it was getting her nowhere; how could she do anything else right then?
“Let me go!” she screamed, going limp suddenly. “I’m cool! I’m cool! Let me go!”
“Fine,” Rachel said shortly. “But I’m locking that door with a personal spell.” She waved her hand toward the heavy steel door, and a loud kerthunk sounded through the cavernous space. “And I’m not lifting it until I’m sure you’re okay.”
Pryce released Nina, who spun around and glared at them both. She had been planning on making a run for the door. Rachel knew her too well.
“You have to stay calm,” Pryce pleaded. “I hate to play Devil’s advocate, but we don’t know where Eli went. Not for sure.”
Nina laughed bitterly, letting her energy swirl and gather around her like a tornado. She almost wished he would come back at that moment so she could finally see how much power her damage could do. “Like hell we don’t. He came here to make sure I was steered into danger, Pryce. And you two, by extension. Then, when Lylah’s scare tactic didn’t work, he just fucking fled like the little bitch he really is!”
Pryce looked unnerved, but Rachel had seen Nina in a rage before. “I agree with your line of thought,” she said calmly. “But we have to remember that our judgment hasn’t always been sound before.”
Nina rounded on Pryce. “What do you think?”
Pryce gazed at her silently, weighing his words before he spoke. “I think Eli hasn’t been honest with you—with any of us—and I’m very suspicious of his absence. I should say, though, that I don’t know if he’s absconded out of a higher loyalty, or out of total fear. This could just be too much for him to handle, Nina. He’s not built for this kind of stuff like we are.”
The sincerity and warmth in his words calmed Nina slightly. “So you think he’s just a wimp, is that it?”
Pryce shrugged. “I don’t know for sure. I’m suspicious, Nina, but it makes no sense to go after him right now.” He looked around. “We should lay down some extra protection in this place, though, in case he gives Lylah a head’s up. Or brings her back here.”
“I hope he does!” Nina shouted. “I’d love to take both of them on right now.”
“No you wouldn’t,” Pryce said dryly. “I know you feel mad with power right now, Nina, but Lylah is very old and capable, and Eli is probably more powerful than he looks. I’ve heard stories about Lylah, and she doesn’t choose weaklings. Both of them against us isn’t an arrangement I’d feel comfortable with, especially since Lylah is right about the bond created between two lovers. It doesn’t go away easily even when they separate, and it can be a big boost in combat.”
Nina screamed in frustration, and the air around her began to waver with the heat her wrathful energy was putting off. Rachel took a step away from her, and Nina tried to reel her emotions in, but it was no use. She felt broken and alone, even with two people she loved deeply right there in the room with her. Why did I fall in love with you? She pictured Eli and directed her wounded thoughts at him. Why did you make me fall in love with you?
“We need to stay calm,” Rachel said, taking a tiny step forward. “You’re at your best when you’re calm, at least planning-wise.”
“You can get fiery when there’s someone to fight,” Pryce said then, eyeing her closely. “But please, Nina, we need you to come back to Earth and be here with us. We can’t lose our heads right now. We need to prepare, especially in case he really did go back to the Council for help. Besides, he’s miles away now. That Porsche goes faster than any of our vehicles.”
Nina inhaled deeply, letting Pryce’s words sink into her brain. He’s right. I can’t just charge after him, and we have to be ready if he comes back.
She turned an apologetic smile to Rachel, her cheeks burning from embarrassment. “I’m sorry I flipped, Rache.”
“It’s okay,” Rachel said immediately, pulling her into a hug. “I completely understand your rage, trust me. I’m just glad you didn’t bite me this time.”
Nina blinked tears from her eyes as she pulled back, feeling exhausted. She didn’t want to admit to them that a big part of the reason she was so unhinged was that she’d finally accepted her love for both men, and now felt abandoned by the one who made her feel like she could really be a fully-fledged dragon someday. Did that void his faith in her? Did that make her less than she thought she was? Nina shoved the vitriolic thoughts away and shook her head to clear it.
“Okay, let’s take a break and then put up those protection charms.”
Nina’s break turned into a three hour nap punctuated with startled, fearful sleep noises. She dreamed of Eli coming back and throwing her on the couch to fuck her. It was the only word for the way he handled her—rough, careless, almost cold. In the midst of penetrating her, Dream Eli pulled out the ceremonial knife he carried for Readings and started slicing her nude body deeply enough to bring forth spurts of arterial blood.
“Now you’ll be scared, just like Pryce,” Dream Eli said with a lazy smile.
Dream Nina just kept writhing underneath him, bleeding to death while he thrusted. He left her in a dark pool of her own blood, laughing as he climbed the stairs and turned out all the lights.
When she woke, she pretended not to remember her dream, but it kept coming back to her, clashing with the loving image of Eli she’d carried inside her until then. Rachel and Pryce were tactful enough not to mention her consistent sniffling as they walked around the room with chunks of various stones and handfuls of shimmering powders, muttering under their breath and directing their energy to join with that of the enchanted hematite. Every layer of protection brought Nina a little closer to sanity. By the end of the evening, Nina had almost managed to forget that she might be descended upon by Lylah and her lackeys at any minute. Because of you, a needling voice chimed. Because of your godawful choices. What kind of queen are you?
Pryce pulled her over to his bedroom while Rachel finished warding the front and took her face between his hands, probing her light brown eyes with his sharp blue ones.
“I don’t want you blaming yourself,” he said gently. “This isn’t your fault. Even though you fell for him, and even though we both trusted him, this is no one’s fault but his.”
Nina started to cry again. “Are you upset with me for falling for someone like him?”
“Never,” Pryce promised. “We couldn’t have seen this coming, and I wouldn’t dare try and police your feelings, Nina. I love you too fucking much for that.”
A massive wave of gratitude overtook Nina, and she tilted her face up and pulled Pryce downward, kissing him so passionately that she forgot to breathe. He wrapped her in his soothing energy as he rubbed slow circles on the small of her back, and Nina had a brief moment of profound clarity: Eli may have made her feel like she could become a real dragon, but Pryce made her feel like she already was one. How can that be?
“I love you,” she said aloud. “Pryce, I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
“I know what you’d do,” Pryce said, smiling. “You’d be just fine.”
Nina’s smile felt brittle as it spread across her face, and she decided to drop it before it shattered, opting for a worried frown instead.
“But what are we going to do in the meantime? How can we just sit here?”
“We have options,” Pryce reminded her. “I have our best Outcasts on it, and some of those Outcasts even have ties to the Greater Horde. It’s going to be okay.”
Nina wanted to latch on to the hope in his voice and let it pull her away from her agonizing thoughts, but they were too heavy to be moved by Pryce’s uplifting tone.
“Lylah said there are other ways to clean the stone. Maybe that’s true, but I’m still the best option.”
Pryce was silent.
“If I can just stay alive and train until the time to take the deal rolls around, everything will be okay.” Nina felt like the weight pinning her spirit down was being chipped away as she spoke. “I’m much more powerful than I was the first time I met Eka. This could work. I could clean the stone and keep my power!” She studied Pryce’s careful expression. “What do you think?”
He let the silence stretch for a few moments longer. “I think we should do whatever you think is best,” he said finally. “Provided it ensures your safety.”
The guarded quality of his voice struck Nina as insincere, and she fought to keep her own voice even. “Why can’t you just give me a straight answer? You do that a lot. You might voice an opposition, but you’d never tell me what you think is best. Why is that?”
Pryce was taken aback. “Do you want me to tell you what to do?”
“I didn’t say that,” Nina said hurriedly. “I just... I want you to be more direct!”
Pryce frowned, and Nina felt a surge of anger at his puzzled expression.
“You know what I mean,” she continued. “It’s always ‘this isn’t a good idea’ and ‘maybe we should wait,’ never ‘we should do this’ or ‘this is the best way’.”
Pryce shook his head, and his continued silence stoked the fire of Nina’s wrath.
“Say something! Be direct for once! Tell me what you think I should do!” she shouted, aware even then she wasn’t being rational about her approach.
Despite her awareness, she couldn't stop. She hadn’t managed to pull herself together since Eli disappeared, and she wasn’t sure she was going to be able to. It still felt to her like there was nothing she could do—like he’d taken a piece of her with him when he left.
Maybe he did, she realized. Maybe he took a chunk of your heart, because you were stupid enough to give it to him.
Without thinking, her angry thoughts began to feed her words. “I’ve never met someone so unhelpful. At least Eli was always upfront and sure in his advice. He tried to be a real mentor. Why can’t you do that?” Nina saw the pain clouding Pryce’s eyes and still couldn’t stop. “Why can’t you be more forthright, more—more decisive? Why can’t you be more like—”
Pryce closed his eyes abruptly. Nina’s voice died in her throat, but it was too late.
“More like Eli?” Pryce finished for her, his low voice suffused with bitterness. “Why can’t I be more like Eli, Nina? I don’t know, but I can tell you I’m glad I’m not like him. I’ve come to love his company, Nina, but he is not someone I want to be like. Look what he’s done to you!”
“What do you mean?”
“Nina, he abandoned us and you’re still caping for him,” Pryce spat. “He’s screwed you over repeatedly, maybe on purpose! And you still idealize him! Half of this is his fault!”
“No!” Nina shouted at him. “If it’s anyone’s fault, it’s mine.”
“Partially,” Pryce allowed. “But think about it.” He held up a finger at the end of each sentence. “If Eli had his way, I would have been kicked out of your place that first night we met, and you would have been dead. If not that night, then you would have been dead after someone blew up your apartment—all of you. If not then, then Joey would have killed you, because Eli shared the same bias toward High Horde members as you do.”
“I would have saved us,” Nina said shakily. “I stopped that bomb.”
“Because I accidentally bought us time by distracting Joey and giving you time to awaken and tap into your space-time control,” Pryce said gruffly. “Eli would have stayed in the corner the whole time, or let you charge him and get hurt, and Joey would have tossed the bomb in with hardly a word and killed everyone. He’s a liability, Nina. He might be able to make your heart flutter and your toes curl, but he’s a fuck-up. The biggest one of all of us.”
Nina was trembling with indignation. “How dare you?”
“That’s all you can say?” Pryce said sharply. The pain in his eyes was bleeding into his voice now, and his words were thick with emotion as the echoed around them. “Really? Let me tell you, Eli would never be as direct as I’m being right now. I’m not like Eli, you’re right about that, and I’d never want to be. Because I love you as you are and want to help you grow, and Eli wants to direct your choices based on a set of demonstrably broken ideals and this vision he carries around that reminds him of who he wants you to be. My Uncle Clyde has been more helpful to us at this point.”
Nina was frozen by his words. She couldn’t believe Pryce had been holding it in this long without her knowing. She wanted to be angry for his tirade, but the truth behind his vicious tone kept her from speaking. She felt something inside her start to break apart, and she let out a thin, shaky breath as it began to crumble inside her.
Pryce’s arms were around her a moment later. She was grateful for his embrace, but it only served to hold her together while her doubts and insecurities tried to rip her apart.
“Nina, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, I was out of line.” His voice was desperate and trembling with remorse, and she felt him plant a kiss on the top of her head. “I’m angry and jealous. I just can’t stand you missing him while I’m right here in front of you. Please, forget everything I just said.”
“I don’t think you should,” said a soft voice to Nina’s right. Pryce and Nina sprang apart and were stunned to find Rachel in front of Pryce’s bedroom curtains.
“You didn’t shut it behind you fully,” Rachel said sheepishly, her cheeks turning the color of her glossy red hair. “You sounded so angry I started to eavesdrop.” She turned her warm brown eyes to her sister. “Nina, I think he’s right.”
Pryce held up a hand. “Rachel, maybe we shouldn’t pile on Eli right now. We still don’t know for sure he’s betrayed us, and—”
“No,” Rachel said firmly, gazing at Nina. “Listen, you’re my sister and my best friend. Your happiness is so closely linked to mine that you know I’d never try and sabotage it, but Pryce is absolutely right.” She stepped closer to Nina and took her hand. “You’ve always been headstrong and stubborn, but you’ve never been the type to be incautious.” She smiled, and her expression turned nostalgic. “Remember when you interrogated that Boy Scout who came by to try and sell us a new kind of jerky that one year?”
Nina laughed despite herself. “He didn’t like being pushed around by a ten year old.”
“He didn’t,” Rachel agreed. “You’re hypervigilant all the time. You were always the one to warn me of skeezy guys before I could figure out they were skeezy, and you have like, this sixth sense regarding accidents and trouble. You’re the only person I know that’s never crashed your car or broken anything or even had something stolen from them. You’re the most observant person I know.”
Nina’s smile slipped. “But?”
“But I don’t see that in you when you’re around Eli,” Rachel said regretfully. “All of a sudden you’re blind to danger and bad choices. That isn’t you, it’s Eli. He does something to you that I don’t quite like. And he definitely does seem to be looking at the person he thinks you’re going to become more than the person you are now.”
Nina started to protest, but then she began going over the events of the past week in her mind. At first, they’d gotten along so well because of their shared values and aspirations; somewhere along the line, Nina had started deferring to him based on this bond. That wasn’t like her at all, she realized. Pryce and Rachel had been trying to give her gentle nudges while Eli was pulling her toward choices that were preferable for someone looking to stay in the Council’s good graces. That wouldn’t have been so bad, except that there were warning signs along the way that she should have picked up on. It should have been immediately clear to her that Lylah and Eli had a sexual past, based on the interaction in the Council’s chambers alone. Eli was the only one surprised with her new powers as they came along, even after they had established it was possible. He wanted to go back to the Council with her even after finding out his ex was actively trying to kill them. What kind of a person did all that?
Someone who isn’t really looking out for your best interests, Nina thought wildly. Someone who is making choices for themselves and no one else.
Her thoughts were sitting at the surface of her mind unpleasantly, like scum mucking up a placid pond. It was looking more and more like Eli just wasn’t who she thought he was. Anger started to bleed into her energy, causing her breath to come faster and more shallow. How could she have been so blind?
You followed your heart, she told herself. Look where it got you.
Nina closed her eyes and stumbled over to one of the dark red couches. Rachel and Pryce sat on either side of her, each comforting her with a one-armed hold.
“I can’t believe this,” she said numbly. “I just can’t believe this. I’m so stupid. Why am I so stupid?”
“You’re not stupid,” Rachel said fiercely. “You fell in love, and clouded your vision.”
“Pryce doesn’t cloud my vision,” Nina countered.
Pryce laughed gently. “No, but I’m not like Eli, remember? Thank God.”
Nina laughed. Then she felt a pang of guilt, and tears sprang to her eyes again. “What an idiot.”
“He is,” Pryce agreed.
“Not him, me,” Nina clarified. “I mean, freaking out and jumping to conclusions I mean. I’m sorry.”
“No need to apologize,” Rachel said softly. “You’ve been through a lot. I think Eli should be apologizing.”
“Then let me say I’m sorry.”
All three of them looked up from the couch to find Eli standing at the bottom of the stone stairs.
For a moment, no one made a sound. Nina locked eyes with Eli, and a torrent of emotion passed between them. She wondered how much he’d heard. Then she wondered where he’d been. Then, with a surge of fury, she wondered how he got in and how he could stand there before them so casually. She got to her feet without thinking about it and felt the others rise with her.
Finally, a united front.
“What the fuck are you doing here?” she asked coldly. “How did you get in?”
Eli smiled, and it was sheepish. “The front door. You hadn’t finished warding the front yet. Plus,” he said with a grin, “You’ve done such a good job keeping all of this from your parents that they had no idea I’d left. They gave me cookies and milk before I came down here.”
Rachel looked like she was going to faint. “What did you do to them?”
He looked at her, and there was hurt in his eyes. “Nothing, Rachel. You know I wouldn’t hurt Nat and Desmond.”
“We don’t know anything,” Nina spat, staring at his face with cold rage. “Except that you abandoned us to go back to your main squeeze. Did you need to do some close reading with her, Eli?”
Eli flinched. “No, I’ve saved all my reading time for you, Nina. Please, let me explain—”
“I don’t want to hear it,” Nina snarled. She felt the anger swelling and pushing her energy to a height it hadn’t reached before; it scared her to feel so close to invincible, but it also made her dizzy with joy. “I don’t want to hear another word out of your lying mouth, Eli.”
Eli took a hesitant step away from the stairs. “Nina, I can’t disagree with anything Rachel or Pryce said, but I don’t want you thinking I’ve gone off to report to Lylah. That’s not what happened.” His expression turned to one of misery. “I love you too much to hurt you on purpose.”
His mournful tone sounded so genuine that some of her rage fell away, and the love she still felt for him started to make its way to the surface of her awareness. His vivid green eyes were begging hers to understand, to just stop and listen, and she found that she really wanted to. Nina sighed heavily and let out a strangled noise of frustration. God help me, how can I still want him so badly?
“I love you,” Eli said again, taking another step toward her. They were still at least fifty feet apart, but his words sounded closer and more gentle than ever. “Nina, please believe me. I had nothing but you in mind.”
“Liar!” Pryce screamed suddenly.
Rachel and Nina both jumped and turned toward him. Neither had ever heard him sound so out of control with fury; Nina hadn’t known it was possible.
“Don’t talk about loving her,” he continued savagely. “Don’t you dare pretend to have her best interests at heart. That was never the case. I’m not going to let you fuck us over again! You’re not going to hurt us again!”
Nina realized then that Pryce really had come to care for Eli. Did he love him? She knew that there was nothing romantic between them, but they’d seemed more like brothers in the last few days, especially when they were sharing Nina. All of that seemed lost now.
Eli looked afraid for the first time. “Pryce, please, let me explain to you—”
But he didn’t get to finish his sentence.
Nina had seen other dragons shift in person a few times, but she’d never seen anyone shift this fast. Pryce launched himself at Eli, and as he moved, his skin stretched and turned a glistening, scaly black color; his arms shrank and then expanded, forming colossal wings that cut into the air like knives wrapped in black leather. His legs thickened and rounded like the haunches of a dog, lifting from the ground as his long neck strained forward and his heavy, triangular head grew a snout filled with enormous, razor sharp teeth. Nina was so impressed by his form that she was unable to move for a moment; then Rachel screamed and brought her back to reality. Nina saw that Pryce’s throat was glowing orange—he was going to burn Eli to death.
“Stop!”
When Nina threw her hands up, Pryce’s dragon form froze in midair. Eli, who had backed against the wall, slid to the floor as his knees gave out and looked at Nina with eyes the size of dinner plates.
“Holy shit,” Rachel whispered. “You can freeze a grown dragon?”
Nina didn’t have time to be impressed with herself. She concentrated on directing her energy toward Pryce and moved her hands sideways, forcing his body to crawl back into itself and shrink into human form. She didn't know she could do it until it was already done, but when she finished, it seemed like the most natural thing in the world. Nina released Pryce’s body so that he crumpled to the floor, groaning and limp. Rachel rushed forward to sprinkle reviving powder on him, and Pryce mumbled something incomprehensible about pain.
“You shouldn’t be able to do that,” Eli said, his eyes wide with fear.
Nina shook her head. “Aren’t you done underestimating me yet?”
Rachel helped Pryce over to the couch. He was directing a look of betrayal at Nina.
“I can’t just let you kill him before he explains,” she explained gently. “That’s what he tried to do to you, remember? And I’d never forgive myself if he turns out to be harmless.”
Pryce coughed, and it looked like the cough hurt him very much. “What if he isn’t?”
Nina smiled at him. “Then I’ll kill him myself. I promise.”
Pryce managed a weak smile in return, but Rachel looked more nervous than ever.
Nina focused on Eli again. “You have five minutes. Start talking.”
“I don’t need five minutes,” Eli promised. “Look, you’re right—I went back to the Council building, but only because something was off about the whole thing with Lylah.”
Nina frowned, angry at the mention of her name, but let him continue.
“It didn’t seem like her to not claim responsibility for trying to kill us. It also didn’t sound like she gave a shit about the prophecy. She was far more concerned with ‘mixing with the wrong kind’ than anything else. I remembered how elitist she’s always been; she hates Outcasts and anyone not a fully bonded dragon. Even witches, fairies, vampires... people who don’t even interact with us anymore.”
“Not too much different from you,” Nina said.
Eli flushed. “Yes, I’m still rather prejudiced. But the point is, I didn’t buy her act. There had to be another reason she was going after us. I went to try and get her to tell me, hoping she’d explain herself alone.”
Nina made a noise of disgust. “And I guess she just spilled the truth to you and you expect me to believe you?”
Eli looked uncomfortable. “No, actually. She wasn’t there. The only thing I found out was that she’s currently shacking up with Osrik. He told me when I passed him in the hallway. He was pretty gleeful about it.”
Nina laughed bitterly. “You expect me to believe that you’ve been gone for most of the day and you didn't see Lylah?”
“No,” Eli said. “But you can read it in my energy.”
He released his energy and projected it, sending it gliding over Nina’s before she could prepare or react. Her first instinct was to thrust it away from her, but she reminded herself that she was trying to be fair and rational. Just read it, she thought. Get it over with.
She saw the truth in his words. She saw the anxiety that wracked him then and now, and the fear he’d felt knocking on the door of Lylah’s office. She felt the shock that streaked through him when he found that empty-headed Osrik was having sex with Lylah, and she felt the frustration and disappointment he felt when he’d left the Council without any more information.
Interestingly, she could see things that didn’t have to do with Lylah. He really is showing me everything. She saw the unlikely love he felt for her, and the strong admiration he had for Pryce; he saw how impressed he was with Rachel, and even the leftover bit of love he felt for Lylah. She allowed herself to feel warmly toward Eli then; he’s telling the truth. But her energy caught on to a strange blurry spot, like his energy was being censored. It was something about his feelings for someone else, she could tell, but he was refusing to make it clear to her.
He called his energy back to him hurriedly, but Nina was already suspicious.
“What was that?”
“Nothing you need to worry about,” Eli said firmly. “That’s regarding my feelings for something not related to this matter.”
How dare you? “I want to decide that,” Nina said suddenly. “Show me what it is, Eli.”
Astoundingly, he shook his head. “No. I’m allowed to have privacy. It’s personal, and not related to this.”
“Another ex-lover?” Nina said, her voice starting to grow louder as her anger returned. “A co-conspirator? Someone waiting in the wings to swoop down on us and kill us all?”
“No!” Eli shouted, bright pink patches appearing on his cheeks. “Nina, please, you can tell it’s not related to the Council! Please, just leave it alone!”
Rachel looked at Nina, and she looked close to panic. “Nina, maybe we should leave it alone.”
“No,” Nina said savagely. “How do I know he’s not lying? How do I know that he’s not cloaking what really happened, under that foggy spot in his energy? How do I know that he didn’t go back to Lylah and get orders to come back here?”
“Because he didn’t,” a high, cruel voice said from the top of the stairs. “Although he may as well have.”
All four people at the bottom of the stairs turned their eyes upward, filled with dread.
Lylah had managed to ambush them, after all.