Alex rushed toward the elevator. Something was drawing him toward Sol, and he needed to get out of there before he did something stupid. What was this in his chest, anyway? He couldn’t be feeling pity for Sol, could he? No, impossible. Sol didn’t deserve pity. He’d gone into a marriage, arranged by his father, with someone who was essentially a stranger, with his eyes wide open.

Alex could feel compassion, though. Sol was a good dad, or at least he was trying to be one. He was doing his best to do right by Carsten, and that would always tug on Alex’s heartstrings. If he stayed, if he stuck around to talk to Sol anymore, his heart would soften even further. He couldn’t afford that, and he didn’t want that.

Sol chased after him and caught up with him at the elevator. “You forgot your jacket.” He held Alex’s leather jacket in his hand, but he didn’t hold it out. Instead he swallowed and looked down into Alex’s eyes again. He kept doing that.

Alex wasn’t surprised when Sol grabbed him and kissed him. He knew what Sol wanted, of course. He wanted what all alphas wanted. Alex was only surprised that he let Sol have it, or at least the part that involved locking their lips together. He hadn’t intended to. He’d wanted to get out clean and easy, without any trouble.

Instead, trouble put its hands on his face, pulled him close and licked its way into his mouth.

Sol didn’t kiss the same way at all. Well, of course he didn’t. He was older, a family man, with more experience and more worries under his belt. Back when they’d been younger, he’d been maybe a little rougher in the way he sought his pleasure, but it was unintentional. Now he was demanding but polished, a thorough Hellion prince, and Alex found himself getting hard in spite of himself.

Maya fussed as she tried to push against Sol. She was a baby, she liked to be the center of attention, and there was no room for her in this interaction.

Sol’s hands dropped to Alex’s hips, which he brought forward into his. Their hard cocks rubbed against each other, and this felt incredible. Alex hadn’t been with anyone in a while and no one he’d wanted like this, no one he’d given his heart to. And Sol, damn him, still had his heart no matter what Alex had to say about it.

He pulled away as Maya got even more restless. “I need to get Maya home. We can’t…we can’t do that, Sol.”

“Stay here.” Sol’s tone wasn’t demanding at all. He was pleading instead. “I’m sure we can make her comfortable.”

Alex huffed out a laugh. “No. We can’t. She doesn’t need the new environment again, and you and me, Sol? We can’t do this.” He stepped back.

“Why the hell not?” Sol let his head fall back as he looked up to the ceiling. “We’re both consenting adults, it’s been a traumatic day all around, why not?”

Alex wanted to scream, or maybe throw something, but that wouldn’t help. Sol still wouldn’t get it, and he might scare Carsten even more than he already was. “Because, Sol. We just can’t. Good night, Sol.” He slipped into the elevator just as its doors opened and focused on Maya as it took him down to the lobby.

Vinnie and Frank waited at the bottom. “Hey. You okay? We were thinking we might have had to send in the cavalry.” Vinnie looked him up and down. “You look in good enough shape, all things considered.”

Alex huffed out a laugh. “Yeah, well. Thanks for waiting for me, guys.”

“Yeah, well, Buddy said that sleazy guy might try to put the moves on you. We’d have stepped in.” Frank rubbed at his knuckles almost absent-mindedly. “Dominic and Louie texted from the hospital. They’re keeping the girl overnight for observation. The guys are staying with her. They don’t trust those weird people.” He made a face. “That lady you tied up? She scared the crap out of me, I don’t mind telling you.”

Alex could laugh at that. “Try having her come at you with a knife! You should have seen her.” They got into the car that was still waiting for them, even though it was parked in a no parking zone. “She was like a crazy person. But, I guess I get it. Carsten’s her grandson. That’s family.”

The guys shifted uncomfortably. “I don’t want to get involved with some kind of rich weirdo family fight.” Frank tugged at his tie. “They get creepy, man.”

“Well, they hire guys like us to do the creepy bits, anyway.” Vinnie snorted at his brother. “We do our job and we shut up about it, Frank.”

“Well, apparently these guys are weirder than most. In this case, the kid really is better off with his father. And I hate the father, so that’s saying something.” Alex adjusted Maya’s position in his arms and settled in for the ride home.

They got back to his apartment, and he bade Vinnie and Frank a good night. He knew they’d be around if he needed them, or someone else would be. He was always safe so long as Maya was with him.

Once he got the baby down in her crib, he could take a shower and digest the events of the day. He wondered if he could get away with calling Buddy for a delivery, but that was probably illegal. He’d rather get blitzed than have to think about kissing Sol again, but it didn’t look like he was going to get much of a choice.

If he closed his eyes again, he could taste Sol on his lips. He could smell Sol, too. Little hints of Sol’s probably-expensive, cheap smelling cologne clung to him like garlic. It would disappear with enough soap. They hadn’t had enough contact to really get in deep.

He should have decked Sol, or slapped him, but the fact was, he didn’t want to. He had to admit it at least to himself, sitting here in his dimly lit studio caring for someone else’s baby. He’d been afraid of that kiss, but once it had come all he’d wanted was more.

That, in the end, had been what he was really afraid of after all.

He scrubbed until he was raw, as though he could somehow erase his shame. There shouldn’t be any part of him that still wanted Sol Delaney. Sol had used him and left him in the dirt. Sol had known he didn’t have anyone—except Buddy, of course—and he’d still dropped him like a hot rock. Sol would do it again, too, if Alex allowed him to.

And yet, here was Alex, hard for him again, like he was the same starry eyed boy who’d believed love could conquer everything, or anything at all. Alex knew love was a fairy tale. He’d known it before he got together with Sol, damn it. He’d known it the first time he’d seen his Mom unconscious on the kitchen floor.

But apparently all it took to turn his head was a pretty face and soft eyes, a little bit of vulnerability from an alpha.

He balled his hand into a fist and brought it down onto his own thigh, just as hard as he could. He might be weak enough to still get turned on by a kiss from Sol, but that was just the body. The body was going to do what the body was going to do. It had nothing to do with him. Alex was a man. He was in control of himself. He didn’t go acting on every urge that popped up somewhere in his body like some kind of dog.

He could resist. He could be strong and stand up for himself.

He took Maya down to Buddy’s the next night. She seemed to like it there, and right now it was the safest place in the world for her. He had gotten a little baby-wearing contraption that left his hands free while he carried her around, and she absolutely loved it.

Jimmy Senior dropped in to visit, like he’d known Alex would be there. Maya was ecstatic to see her grandfather, pumping her legs up and down like she was bouncing, so Alex handed her over. Senior’s face melted into one of sheer delight. “You know, Alex,” he said, as Maya played with his carefully coiffed hair, “That was a very brave thing you did the other day. Over at the Vesuvius, I mean.”

Alex ducked his head and blushed. “I couldn’t let anything happen to the kid. You know how it is, sir.”

Senior nodded and put a hand on his shoulder. “I do know how it is. I do. I did a little bit of digging into that family. That bird, the one that you so neatly handled?”

Alex paused. “Mrs. Fletcher? Yes, sir?” It always paid to be respectful when dealing with Jimmy Senior.

“She’s out on bail already. The family’s from Stamford, but they’re down here in the city all the time. They’ve got a lot of joint business interests with your employer’s father, who’s a bona fide dick.” Senior wrinkled his nose. “They call me a crook, but this one takes the cake. Money laundering, tax evasion, bribery—but because his last name don’t end with an o it’s all good, right?”

Alex huffed out a little laugh. “Alden Delaney and I have had our differences.”

Senior smirked. “I’ll bet you have. Here’s the thing. As near as I can tell, that old lady hasn’t gone back to Stamford. But she has been seen in Greenwich.”

Alex almost choked on his Vesper. “She’s staying with Alden?” He made a face and turned away. “That’s creeping me out on so many levels.”

“It’s a safe bet that the son’s staying there too. He’s been seen in a few places. Apparently his drug of choice is white and powdery, but he’ll take it in rock form if that’s what he can get.” Jimmy shrugged. “As long as he’s staying away from the kid, it gives us a way to keep tabs on him, so my boys are still selling to him.”

Alex grinned in spite of himself. He’d never turned to drugs himself, but he didn’t see himself as better than anyone else because of it. He just didn’t want that kind of leash on him. Stuart Delaney was a perfect example of why. “That’s brilliant, sir.”

“Of course it is.” Jimmy Senior didn’t smirk this time. His grin was one of quiet pride. “You don’t get to this kind of position in any business without a great big brain. The father, Sol Delaney, he’s not exactly our kind of people. He’s a record company exec. But he’s got a few brain cells to rub together. We’re keeping an eye on the kid.”

“Thank you, sir.” Alex didn’t have to fake the relief in his voice. “Thank you. I’m sure the police are doing their best.”

“But they have a lot of other cases, and they have certain rules they have to abide by. We don’t. Or rather, we do, but they’re different.” He winked. “I’ll bring her around tomorrow night, okay? I want to spend a little time with my grand baby.”

“Of course, sir.” Alex gave Maya a kiss on her little head. He knew she’d be safe with Jimmy Senior.

Once Senior left the bar, Alex relaxed a little more. He let himself enjoy another cocktail or two. As the evening drew to a close, he and Buddy retreated to the back office. “How are the new guys working out for you?”

“Pretty well, actually. They’re both omegas, so we have a lot less of the macho crap.” Buddy shrugged and put his feet up on the desk. “I think one of them, Greg, might be good to take the place over when I can’t do it anymore. He’s got a good head for this stuff, and he’s young enough he should be able to handle it for a while. Of course, he’s deeper into the other business than I am.”

Alex managed half a grin at that. “Yeah, well. You never do know, I guess.”

Buddy snorted. “Hey, that one’s something he’s doing for free. You going to call that dirtbag and tell him what Jimmy Senior told you?”

Alex sighed. “I probably should. I just don’t want to talk to Sol right now.” He accepted the drink Buddy poured him.

“When do you ever?” Buddy poured one for himself. “It’s probably important, though. You don’t want him bringing the kid out there and suddenly coming face to face with those jerks.”

Alex’s stomach lurched. No, he very much did not want that. “I’ll call him in the morning. I will. It’s going to be ugly, but I’ll do it. It’s all for Carsten, right?”

Buddy smiled gently at him. “You’ve got a heart of gold, don’t you?”

Alex stared down into his drink. “I don’t think I do. I gave Sol my heart a long time ago, and he never gave it back.”

Buddy blew him a raspberry. “That was kind of ridiculously poetic. What’s going on here, really?” He scowled. “Did he put his hands on you, Alex? Because I will kill him.”

Alex put his drink down and massaged his temples. “It was only a kiss, Buddy. And I made him stop.” He sighed. “I didn’t want to, though.”

Buddy put a hand on his shoulder. “Ah hell, kid. You know that’s not going to lead anywhere. It can’t.”

“I know. I know. He’s already screwed me over once, and I do learn from my mistakes. I just…” He stared into the whiskey again, because it didn’t pity or judge him. “It felt so right, in those few seconds. And I missed him. I hate what he did. I hate that he left me like that, and I don’t give even half a crap what his excuses were. I just—he was right there, and he was kissing me, and it was like, why can’t I have this?”

“You know why, Alex.” Buddy wouldn’t look at him. “It’s not fair. And it sucks, but it’s the truth. Guys like him don’t want guys like us. And if we can’t find a guy like us, that’s just it. We’re done. And there aren’t a lot of guys like us still left around here. They all got chased out to other areas. And let’s face it, they like their omegas a little more submissive.”

Alex hung his head. Then he picked it up again. He would be damned if he was going to let Sol Delaney bring him down again. “Screw ‘em. I’m not setting myself on fire to keep them warm anyway. I am who I am, and I haven’t got anything to be ashamed of.”

Buddy picked his head up too, and he lifted his glass up. “To pride. And to us.”

They clinked their glasses together and drained them. The mood lightened considerably, and Alex could almost forget the heat Sol’s kiss had started inside of him.

* * *

Sol could not have been more surprised when Carsten crawled into his bed on Friday night. “I’m scared, Daddy,” he whispered. “I’m really scared.”

Sol wanted to rip Stuart limb from limb. He wouldn’t, because a real alpha didn’t treat omegas like that, but the desire was so bad he could taste it. Okay, it had been Lena who actually broke in, but Sol had no doubt that Stuart was involved somehow.

Yes, addiction was a problem. It was a disease, people with addiction needed help and not condemnation, blah blah blah. Sol was a big believer in treatment over prison and all that, but he was also a big believer in not putting children in fear. And Stuart and his wretched mother had put Carsten in fear tonight, yes they had.

Stuart had burned through all of Sol’s compassion years ago. At this point it just felt like a disservice to all of the people struggling with addiction who didn’t try to abduct their children and put them into fear.

He kept his mouth shut, though. He didn’t want to increase the kid’s stress level. He just wanted to calm him down and make him feel safe. He let Carsten share the bed with him and satisfied himself with the fact that Carsten was safe, even if Carsten wasn’t the person with whom he wanted to share his bed tonight.

The next day, Carsten curled up next to him during breakfast and clung tight to his side while Sol tried to work from home. He refused to leave the house, even to go to the zoo or the museum. He was convinced he saw his grandmother or his father behind every corner. Finally, he asked Carsten what was really on his mind.

“Can Mr. Alex come and live here? He can bring baby Maya with him.”

Sol huffed out a little laugh. He couldn’t have felt less like laughing right now, but there wasn’t another sound that made sense under the circumstances. “No, sweetheart. Mr. Alex can’t come live with us. He’s got his own house, and we’re not the only people he cooks for.”

“I know. But he could come and stay here, and then he could keep the bad guys away. And maybe he could help me with my homework sometimes.” Carsten nibbled on his finger and kept his eyes down. “Matt Crown’s dad lives at home and helps him with his homework, and he cooks, and he does all kinds of stuff.”

“Uh huh. The thing is, buddy, that Mr. Alex isn’t your dad.” Sol bit down on the inside of his cheek. He had so many if onlys running through his head. Then again, if Alex had been Carsten’s father, Carsten wouldn’t be Carsten.

“He could be.”

“Not so much, buddy. It doesn’t work that way. And I’m pretty sure you know that.” Sol petted his son’s hair. “Someday I might date someone again, and I might get married again. That person would be your stepfather, but he wouldn’t be your dad.”

“I guess.” Carsten toyed with the hem on his shirt. “But Mr. Alex likes me. He saved me, but he also likes me. He said he wouldn’t let anything happen to me. He said I could call him. And he’s kind of amazing. My real dad doesn’t care about me.”

Rage welled up in Sol yet again, and again Sol had to stuff it down. “Buddy…Carsten…” He hauled his son up into his lap and held him tight. “I don’t think it works like that. Your dad, well, he’s sick. He’s got some serious problems, and that means we can’t have you be around him. But he does want to be around you. That’s why he keeps wanting to grab you, right? It’s not because he doesn’t love you. It’s because he loves you, but we’re afraid he’s going to hurt you.”

Carsten nodded, but Sol could tell by the kid’s face he didn’t believe it. He shouldn’t. A kid shouldn’t have to understand this about the world yet, but Carsten did. Love wasn’t something a kid should have to survive.

Maybe it would be best if he took Carsten out of town for a few days. Maybe a change of scenery would do him good. As they slept on Saturday night, he considered making plans for a trip out to Bronxville. An early morning call from Alex put a stop to that right away.

Not that Sol understood what was going on at first. “Alex?” He scratched his head. “Not that I’m not pleased to hear from you, especially after the way we parted on Friday. How did you get this number?”

“A super secret and marvelous tool I like to call the Internet. Listen, Sol, this is important—”

“Do you want to come over and finish what we started? Inge is coming home today, she’s fine.” Sol sat up straighter and wrapped his hand around his coffee cup. “Carsten goes to bed at eight.”

Alex went silent on the other end of the line. “Wow, you are something else, you know that? No, Inge is not fine, she’s got thirty stitches in her gut, and she’s not supposed to move her arm around too much until the stitches come out.”

“I guess HIPAA doesn’t apply to mafiosi.”

“No, it really doesn’t. Anyway. I’m not calling for some kind of demented booty call, Sol. You have your gross little club for that. I’m calling about Greenwich. Your parents’ house.”

Sol sighed. “I was just thinking it might be best to take Carsten there.” He obviously wasn’t going to get anywhere with Alex, so he might as well try to talk to Alex like a normal person. “He’s not feeling safe here, so a change of scenery would be best and of course his grandfather’s there.”

“Yeah, well, so’s his grandmother. And his other dad, most likely.” Alex had that pissy sound to his voice he’d always gotten whenever he thought Sol was being obtuse. “I got a visit last night.”

Sol closed his eyes and tried to think. “Why do you know where my ex and his mother are? Why does anyone you know, know where they are?” Was Alex stalking him now? It seemed a little bit at odds with his “keep away from me or else I’ll slap you with a harassment suit” behavior, but people could be strange sometimes.

“It wasn’t my idea. A, ah, friend has a thing about kids getting hurt. It’s an issue. It’s a big issue for him, actually. So when he found out what happened, because I was involved, he did a little bit of research.” Alex cleared his throat. “I know it sounds creepy, Sol, but I promise, he just wants to help.”

Sol held up a hand, forgetting that Alex couldn’t see. “We shouldn’t talk about this over the phone. Can you come over and talk about this in person?” Heat pooled low in his belly at the thought of seeing Alex again, live and in person.

“Can’t. Maya’s granddad is stopping by to drop her off, and I’m not sure when. I should probably be here when he gets here, all things considered.”

“Okay, we’ll come to you then.”

“Sol, that’s a really bad idea.”

“Actually, it’s a fabulous idea. You’ve been all over my house, punching people and stopping stabbings. I haven’t been near your house yet.” Sol sat up straighter. “Yes, send me your address. We’ll be over just as soon as we can.”

“Catch you anywhere near the Bronx.” Alex snorted.

“The Bronx? I thought you lived in Hell’s Kitchen.” Sol scratched his head.

“I was born in the Bronx. I grew up in the Bronx. I’ll die in the Bronx. You should know that about me by now. Come on, man.” Alex sighed. “Look, meet me at Buddy’s, all right? It’s called Shank Hall. There’s not enough room for two adults, two kids, and baby stuff in my apartment.” The line went dead, and a text came through a moment later with an address.

That had to be the bar, Shank Hall. Was Alex really in such dire financial straits that he couldn’t have someone over if he wanted to? Was his apartment really that small? Alex was a smart guy, a talented chef. Why wasn’t he making more money? Had something happened?

Sol shook his head. He wasn’t going to get answers by sitting around and wondering. “Carsten,” he called. “Carsten, let’s get ready to go. We’re going to go visit Mr. Alex.”

What kind of father was he, that he was taking his son to a bar?

They called for a car, and rode the forty minutes up to the Bronx. Traffic sucked, and Carsten was restive in his seat. Sol sympathized, especially as the neighborhood deteriorated. This wasn’t the kind of place he wanted to be bringing his beloved son. He needed to be careful, for crying out loud. What if something happened out here? It wasn’t like this was the kind of area where people took car services.

They pulled up in front of a dive bar with a dull, painted sign that read Shank Hall. Sol grimaced and let Carsten out. There was no time like the present, he guessed.

The bar didn’t look much better on the inside than it had on the outside. Everyone in the place turned to give Sol the hairy eyeball when he walked in, although they loosened up when they saw Carsten. Carsten didn’t care that the people here looked like they were extras from a gang movie. Carsten didn’t seem to care that people were looking at him and his dad with undisguised resentment.

He marched right up to the bar, climbed up onto an empty bar stool, and looked up at the older Mediterranean-looking guy behind the bar. “Hi,” he said, with a bright smile. “I’m looking for Mr. Alex. He’s a superhero, but he doesn’t wear a cape. He’s got real pretty hair, and he’s super strong, and he’s got the nicest smile anyone’s ever seen. Oh—and he’s got pretty paint all over his arms.”

The bartender bent down to listen to Carsten, and he let his eyes get wider as the kid spoke. “Pretty paint, huh? Well, tell me, buddy. Is this super hero Mr. Alex young or old?”

“Well, everyone’s old to me. I’m six.” Carsten put his hands on his hips and gave the bartender a look, as though he must be concussed. “He’s younger than you, though.”

That got a laugh out of everyone, and the bartender reached down underneath the bar and pulled out a sealed bottle of chocolate milk. “You must be Carsten. Mr. Alex has told me a lot about you.” He plunked down the bottle of chocolate milk in front of Carsten. “My name’s Buddy. I’m an old friend of his.”

“Oh! That’s good. Do you take care of him the way he takes care of me?”

Sol ground his teeth together. No one else was supposed to take care of Alex. That was his job, damn it.

“Sometimes, buddy. Sometimes he takes care of me. Right now he’s up in my office, getting ready to take little Maya back. Do you know Maya?” Buddy smiled a little bit.

“Sure I do! She’s the baby who loves him. She’s smart.” Sol grinned as he watched his son take a swig from his chocolate milk like he drank out of the bottle in bars all day long. “I like her.”

Sol felt compelled to step forward now. “I see you’re feeling chatty now, Carsten. It’s good to see.”

“I’m not afraid of him, Daddy. He’s Mr. Alex’s friend.” Carsten rolled his little eyes, and a few of the other patrons shared a laugh. Sol tried not to blush, but it wasn’t easy.

“Well, so are you, Carsten.” Buddy ruffled Carsten’s hair.

Just then, Alex came out from behind a door, wearing the baby strapped to his chest and carrying a diaper bag. “Hey, Buddy. Senior says thanks.” He caught sight of Carsten and took a quick glance at Sol. He swallowed hard, and then he turned back to Carsten. “How’s the weekend going? You doing okay?”

“I am. Mr. Buddy gave me chocolate milk. And I like the high seats.”

“Awesome.” Alex gave Carsten a quick hug. “Your dad and I need to talk something over real quick, but once we’ve done that maybe he’ll let you go to the playground.” He stood up and turned to Sol, eyes wary. “All right. Maybe over there in the corner?” He gestured toward an unsteady table. “You want to grab a beer or something?”

Sol was a little bit aghast at the idea of drinking in the middle of the day, but he wouldn’t have a problem with it at the Hellion Club. He nodded once, tersely. Buddy gave him a dirty look and passed him over not a beer but a cocktail, something with bourbon from the looks of it. He passed Alex something else, and they went over to the questionable table.

“Do you always day drink when you have children?” Sol grimaced.

“No. Just when I’m dealing with fussy exes who have trouble with the word no.” Alex slumped in his seat. “Look. What do you need to know about the information I passed on?”

“Why did you have it in the first place, I guess?” Sol rubbed at his beard. “I don’t understand that part at all. Why would you know, why would you care?”

Alex raised an eyebrow. “Why would I care? I care because of Carsten. Whatever resentment and anger I’ve got toward you has nothing to do with him. He’s a good kid, an awesome kid, and I’m not going to let him get hurt because of what you did to me. And secondly, I didn’t ask anyone to go snooping around in your private life, okay? Maya’s grandfather has a soft spot for kids, like I said. Because I’m involved, and I’m watching his granddaughter, he decided to take a look. He called me, I called you. Jesus, Sol, I figured you’d want to know.”

Sol pressed his lips together and then he drank from his cocktail. “I do. I’m glad. I just—I’m freaked out, okay? It’s the mob. Since when are you involved with the mob?”

Alex squirmed. “I’m not, not really. I’m not family, I don’t do dirty stuff. I can help out with a lock here and there, but I don’t really get involved. I’m a chef. That’s it.”

“Oh, and you watch their kids when they’re off mafia-ing.”

“That’s not a word, Sol.”

“It is now.”

Alex toyed with his drink. “I found Maya’s mother, who is still in a coma, by the way. It’s not looking good. Her ma works here. I did a welfare check. That’s how involved I am. And I don’t care if you want to judge that, because you lost any right to an opinion when you dumped me via email and then tried to get me to be your side guy.”

Sol sipped from his drink again. It was easier than talking. “So,” he said when he found his voice. “You trust the person who gave you this information?”

“I do, actually. I’ve known him for a while, and I know he loves kids. He doesn’t have feelings about you one way or another, but he wouldn’t let anything happen to Carsten.” Alex met his eyes. “No one here would.”

Sol turned his gaze over to the bar, where his son was happily drinking his milk. Some guy in an old football sweatshirt was explaining the game on the screen to him, while Carsten cheered in excitement. “I think you’re right about that.” He sat back to watch. “He loves you, you know.”

Alex just gave a little smile and looked away.