CHAPTER SIX

 

SILVIA

 

I walk into the office with Simi in tow, him holding the large bouquet of lilies as if they’re a bomb that could explode any minute. Roslyn is sitting out front talking to Franky.

“You go out for lunch and come back with yellow lilies. Who the hell are you and what have you done with my best friend?” I take the flowers from Simi and head down the hall, Roslyn following closely behind me.

“It’s not a big deal.” I walk over to the vase currently holding a dozen drooping roses and throw them in the trash, then drop my lilies inside.

“It most certainly is a big deal, Silvy.”

“They need fresh water,” I say to Roslyn, ignoring her comment.

“FRANKY!” she yells. I frown and cringe. God, her voice is loud.

“Roslyn, please don’t yell and use your inside voice. I could have gotten the water myself, or you could have done it since I’m paying you to be my assistant.”

“Yes, and Franky’s mine!”

When Franky knocks on the door, she yells again for him to come in. God, I wish she would tone it down, just a little.

“Franky, can you put some fresh water in the vase for the boss, please?”

“Yes, I sure can,” he replies and rushes away with the flowers.

“Okay, fess up, bestie. Are you seeing the guy from the coffee shop?”

I take a deep breath, trying to remember my best friend only wants the best for me.

“Yes. We had lunch together and he gave me flowers.”

“They’re not only your favorite flowers, but they’re also your favorite color. How did he know?”

“I’m assuming, it was a lucky guess. But to be honest, I’m not going to be all suspicious and negative about this. He makes me smile, and laugh, and blush. I like him, and I think the feeling is mutual. So, please be my best friend and not get all crazy and launch into your defend and protect mode, okay?

Roslyn sighs but nods okay. “Are you going to screw him soon?”  she asks excitedly. “You do realize you’re way overdue for some dick.”

As the last word leaves her mouth, Franky knocks on the door and walks in, returning with my flowers. He sets them down quickly and rushes back out. The door closes and we both burst into a fit of giggles.

“God, I hope Franky didn’t hear that. Roslyn, you really need to be more careful about what you say when we’re in the office.”

“Relax, Silvy. I’m sure it’s nothing he hasn’t heard before… or said before. So, you didn’t answer my question. Are you?”

“Well, I can’t lie and say that I don’t want to have a sexual relationship with him. Come on, what woman wouldn’t? His body is amazing, like I want to lick him everywhere amazing. But I should take it slow, right? I mean sex can make thinks complicated, don’t you think?”

“Sex can make things right. Silvy, you’re not a teenager. Hell, you’re not even in your twenties. You know how to be responsible and have safe sex. Besides, it’s such a stress reliever.”

“Yeah, but we’re so different. You can have sex with someone and not get attached. But me, I’m just the opposite. I do the dirty with someone, and want a relationship.”

“Silvy, I know you had sex, but you haven’t had sex with that many people, and you’ve never been in love. If you had, I would have known. So, your theory, which I call bullshit and nothing but an excuse, doesn’t hold water, oh great one.”

“Well, I think sex is the last thing I should be thinking about. Sex can wait.”

“Don’t let the Pope hear you say that. It’s probably a sacrilege or something. If not sex, then what should you be thinking about?”

“About my Lupus Foundation event that’s less than thirty days away.” Thank god, Roslyn finally gives up and we go back to work.

***

When I get back to my penthouse that evening, I’m so tired I can hardly keep my eyes open. Simi picked up some food from a little place nearby, so I try a few bites but give up. I’m just too tired to eat.

I decide to lie down for a few minutes. If I’m hungry later, I can always warm it up. Just as I begin to doze off, I hear my cell ringing.

“Hello.”

“Good evening, beautiful.” God, his voice is so deep and sexy.

“I’m sorry we didn’t get a chance to talk this afternoon. I know it’s Sunday, but I’ve been so busy, it’s felt more like Monday. Yet, nothing could stop me from thinking of you every minute.

“I been thinking of you, too,” I reply softly.

“Damn, you sound so good. Your voice is sexy.”

“Thank you, Jaxson. You have a great voice as well.”

“Have you eaten dinner?”

“Yes, I ate a little bit. Simi picked up some chicken parmesan from this great little place nearby.”

There’s a pause on the phone and I can hear Jaxson breathing. “Silvia?”

“Yes?” I answer, breathlessly.

“Can I come over, baby? Please?” He sounds almost as if he’s begging, like something is wrong. I know I should say no, but I want to see him.

“Yes, Jaxson, you can come over. But just so we’re clear, no sex.”

“I would never ask you to do anything you don’t want to do, baby. Besides, when I make love to you for the first time, it will be in my bed.”

His confidence, sometimes, is staggering. I don’t even know how to respond.

“Baby, you still there?”

“Yes, I’m here.”

“Can you give me the address, please?”

“Okay, I’ll text it to you and you can follow your GPS.”

“See you soon, baby.”

It suddenly dawns on me that I’m still wearing my work clothes and haven’t even showered. I dash to the bathroom and strip down, then quickly jump in the shower even though the water hasn’t warmed up yet. I wash quickly and get out, then slip on a shirt and pair of shorts.

I run back to the kitchen and living room to make sure everything is tidy when my intercom buzzes. Shit he’s here.

I hit the button and hear the doorman’s voice. “Ms. Silvia, a Jaxson Montgomery is here to see you.”

“Thank you. Could you make sure he gets to my apartment, please?” I ask.

“Of course, Ms. Silvia.”

When I hear the knock, I take a few calming breaths, then walk over and open the door. Jaxson is casually leaning against the wall, still wearing the same black slacks and white shirt he had on at lunch, but his suit jacket is thrown over one shoulder. Time seems to stop as we both remain frozen in place, staring at each other, neither saying a word, using only our eyes to convey our desire to each other.

Jaxson looks into my eyes and finally breaks the silence, then whispers, “Oh, baby, I missed you so much.”

I open my mouth to speak, but he lunges through the door, enveloping me in his strong arms and kissing me as if there will be no tomorrow. My world tilts on its axis and my body surrenders, recognizing its master as I wind my arms around his neck. He deepens the kiss, and I feel myself falling under his spell. I want more, but I know if we don’t stop now, we’ll both end up naked, right here on the floor.

“We have to stop, Jaxson,” I gasp, trying to pull away.

He raises his head slightly, his eyes never leaving mine, and goes for another kiss, but I turn my head away.

“I’m sorry, love. It’s just you look so delicious. I had to have a taste.”

“You’re a silver-tongue devil. You have such a way with words. Let’s try this again, shall we? Hi, Jaxson. Won’t you come in and take a seat?”

“Hi, baby. I’d love to and thank you for letting me come over.” He walks over and sits on the sofa, his long legs stretched out in front of him.

“Well, thank you for coming over. Would you like something to drink?”

“Sure, anything you have will be fine,” he replies, looking around the room. I walk into the kitchen and pour both of us a glass of wine, then join him on the sofa. I hand him the glass and he takes a slow sip as he devours me again with his eyes.

I don’t know what I was thinking when I chose this outfit, I should never have worn shorts. I should have put on something less revealing. And he has that look again, the one that says I’m the big bad wolf and I’m going to gobble you up. Oh god, I’ve been reading too many romance novels on my Kindle.

“I’m so glad you allowed me to come over, Silvia. Today has been nothing but one problem right after another. I just needed to see something beautiful to restore my faith in humanity.”

“I know you mentioned you work in public relations, but you never explained exactly what you do.” Now that I think about it, Jaxson hasn’t given me much information at all.

“I work with all sorts of people, celebrities, politicians, professional athletes, and make sure things run smoothly for them. Hmm… I guess the best way to describe it would be to say I’m like Olivia Pope on that television show called Scandal.”

“No shit! That’s awesome, Jaxson! So, we’re both in the business of helping people.”

“Yes, baby, we are.” His voice gets deeper and he moves off the sofa and drops to his knees on the floor in front of me.

“Oh god, Jaxson, what are you doing?”

“Let me taste you, baby. I promise that’s all I’ll do.”

This man is my weakness, but I can’t allow this happen, not yet. Although it seems like a lifetime ago since we met, we’ve only known each other less than forty-eight hours. I have to stop this now.

“No, Jaxson. We can’t do this… not yet. It hasn’t even been two days since we met. I told you I’m not that kind of girl, and it’s the truth.”

“I know you aren’t, Silvia. If you’re worried I’ll lose respect for you, I promise I won’t.” I just need to see you and taste you.”

“No, Jaxson, you don’t understand. I’m not worried you will lose respect for me. I’m worried I will lose respect for myself. It’s not about the actual sex. Well, it is, but it’s not. I’m not some inexperienced virgin, not that I’ve had many lovers. Although it’s been a very long time since I’ve been with anyone, I don’t want to have sex, at least not just sex. I want to be able to open my heart to someone I trust and make love with them. I’m thirty-five years old. I’m no longer a child and I want to put away childish things. I want love, not empty meaningless sex, not instant gratification. Can you understand what I’m trying to say?”

“Yes, baby, I think I understand but please don’t make me leave. Just let me wrap my arms around you and hold you. I promise I won’t try to force you to do anything. I would never do that to you.”

I look down and see the sincerity in his eyes. But I also see something else. It’s not weakness; it’s vulnerability. I see a fellow kindred spirit, battling loneliness and reaching out for comfort. And God help me, I believe him and want to give it. It’s been so long since someone has held me in their arms.

“It’s late, Jaxson. You can stay the night if you want, but …

“I know, no sex. I promise. I’ll even leave on all my clothes. I just want to wrap you in my arms and hold you close. So, I can stay?”

“Yes, you can stay. But remember, no hanky-panky.”

Jaxson stands and holds out his hand. I know it seems like such a simple gesture, but it’s so much more than a gentleman simply offering to help a lady up. He’s asking for my trust and I desperately want to give it. I want to trust this man, not only to watch over me and keep me safe while I sleep, but also to have faith in him as a man and trust him with my heart. I take his outstretched hand and stand, then lead him into my bedroom. I know I can do this, I repeat to myself.

We climb in bed, both of us still fully clothed. He turns on his side and pulls my body to his, my back to his front, curving his body around mine and wrapping his strong arms around me. I feel so safe and so good. I take a deep breath and close my eyes. As I feel myself drifting to sleep, Jaxson nuzzles my ear and begins to speak.

“It feels like a lifetime ago, but I had a sister and we were extremely close. She was all I had after our parents died. But because she trusted someone, they took advantage of her. I loved her so much, Silvia, but she’s no longer with me. All I have now is my Nana Mo. She lives in Boston, but I try to visit her as often as I can. I’ve never shared this with another woman but I wanted to share it with you.”

My heart fills with joy because I know Jaxson has trusted me with his feelings. I’m happy to know he trusts me, but my heart is also sad, sad because this wonderful man has suffered so much loss.

“Thank you for sharing this with me, Jaxson. I know we’ve only known each other for such a short time, but it’s important that we trust each other, and I do trust you. And I’m so sorry about your sister.”

“Thank you, baby. I’m not sure why I shared that with you, but I just wanted you to know.”

I smile and close my eyes. It feels so good, so perfect, so right, falling asleep in his arms.