“HEY, MA, I’M HEADING out. See you later.” I stood at the front door, calling into the kitchen.
She came into the foyer, drying her hands on a dishtowel. “Okay. Have you heard anything from Bridget? Is she having a nice time in Savannah?”
“Yeah, they got there fine—Meghan texted me—and then Maisie’s mom sent Ali a picture of all the girls at the Pirate House. Looks like they’re having a blast.”
“Good.” My mother opened her mouth as though she were about to say something and then shut it. “Well, enjoy your dinner tonight.”
“I will. Oh, and uh, Mom, don’t wait up. I’m pretty sure I’ll just spend the night out at the farm.”
Mom’s lips pressed together, but she nodded. “Oh, yes, of course.”
I paused, my hand on the doorknob. “Mom, do you have something you want to say to me? You look like you’re about to burst.”
“No, I just . . .” She sighed. “Flynn, I know you’re old enough to make your own decisions. You’re a father now, you’ve lived on your own for a long time. But I’m going to be a nibby-nose mama anyway. Are you sure you know what you’re doing with Ali?”
I leaned back against the door. “Yeah, I am. I’m probably surer about this than anything else in my life.” I looked up the steps, into the shadows. “Ma, I never stopped loving Ali. Never. We were young and stupid, and we made mistakes, but we’ve been given a second chance. I’m not going to screw it up again.”
She regarded me steadily. “And it’s not just because of Bridget? Because you won’t be doing Ali any favors if it is. It’s admirable to want to be there for the mother of your child, but be sure, Flynn.”
“I thought you liked Ali. When we were dating . . . you treated her like a daughter.”
“I adore Ali. I always have. And if you truly love her, Flynn, no one will be happier for you than me. Your father . . .” She paused, shut her eyes for a minute and crossed herself. “God rest his soul. He always told me you and Ali were going to end up back together. He loved that girl, and it hurt him that we were estranged. We never stopped liking her, sweetie, but we didn’t want to interfere with her life after you left.”
“I never want to lose her again, Mom. I’m going to do everything in my power to make sure I won’t.”
My mother nodded. “What’re you going to do about work, Flynn? I know you’ve been turning down jobs. But pretty soon, you’ll need to do something.”
I rubbed my hand over my chin. “I know. I’ve been hoping for a shoot to come along close by, where I could go do it and be back in a day. Even DC would be doable. But everything I’ve been offered has been overseas. I don’t know what to do.”
She patted my shoulder. “You could always teach photography at the high school. Think what you could offer those kids.”
The idea of teaching in Burton unleashed a torrent of dread in my chest. As long as I focused on Ali and Bridget, staying in Burton was fine. But when I began contemplating taking a job, becoming part of the community . . . it felt like I had a heavy weight around my heart.
“It’s something to think about. I gotta run, Mom. Ali’s cooking, and I don’t want to ruin her dinner.”
“Of course, sweetie. Run along. Oh, and why don’t you plan to bring both Bridget and Ali to Sunday dinner tomorrow?”
I leaned to kiss my mother’s cheek. “You’re pretty awesome, you know that, Cory Evans?”
She smacked my backside. “Get out of here, you. Behave yourself.”
“Never.” I waved at her and closed the door behind me, climbed into my truck and aimed it for the highway. I couldn’t get to Ali fast enough.
The ride out to the farm seemed to take three times as long as it normally did. I was unreasonably nervous, my leg bouncing up and down as I cruised down the road. I hadn’t even been this keyed up the first time we’d had sex. Of course, then I’d had no time to be nervous.
Ali and I had stuck to our promise to talk about everything when it came to our physical relationship. Although we hadn’t taken the final step to actual intercourse yet, by the early spring of our junior year, we’d done pretty much everything else. I’d given Ali her first orgasm, and then she’d given me my first hand job—by someone who was not me, of course. We’d ventured into oral sex, although I’d never expected Ali to take to it so enthusiastically. She was open to trying almost anything, and I was diligent about finding new things for us to try. It wasn’t exactly a hardship.
We had more freedom than many of our friends, because Sam was so consumed with the farm and the stand that he couldn’t be around to keep his eye on us all the time, or even very often. We spent lazy afternoons next to the lake or down at the river, and when we could, we took advantage of her empty house and her bed.
On the first truly warm evening of that spring, we’d gone to our favorite spot by the lake. We’d long since abandoned the car for a blanket on the grass, and after a particularly chilly winter had confined us to her porch and a few heated sessions in the front seat of my car, I was more than anxious to be out on that blanket with Ali.
We made short work of our clothes, and I was raised over her body, kissing the slope of her breast. She clutched the back of my head when I moved to take one taut pink nipple between my teeth. At the same time, I slipped two of my fingers between her legs, groaning when I felt how wet she was.
“God, babe, you feel so good.”
Her hips pistoned against my hand, and her small fingers captured my cock, which was the best feeling in the world ever. I caught my breath and growled.
“Flynn.” Her whisper floated down to tickle against my ear.
“Yeah, babe.” I was focused on not coming too soon, trying to hold back.
“Don’t stop.”
“I won’t. Wait, don’t stop what? You mean here . . .” I swirled my tongue around her nipple. “Or here?” I rubbed my thumb over her clit, expecting her to tell me both.
“I mean, don’t stop. Let’s not stop tonight. I want you . . . inside me. I don’t want to wait anymore.”
My heart stuttered, and I pushed up to look at her face. “What? You want . . . tonight? Now?”
“Yes.” She curled her hand around my dick and moved them up and down. “Now. Tonight. Please.” She hesitated, opening her eyes to meet mine. “Oh, damn, do you have . . . you know? A condom.”
“Yeah.” I rolled to the side and brushed my hand over her flat stomach. “I’ve kept a package in the glove box of my car since we started talking about it.” I stood, still nude, and leaned in through the open car window to fumble with the box. I managed to get one in my hands and went back to lie down again.
Ali tilted her head back and touched her lips to mine. “Are you okay with this? I mean, we don’t have to if you don’t think . . .”
“Oh, my God, babe. No. I mean, yes. Yes. I’m ready and I’m okay with it. As long as you are.”
“I love you, Flynn. I want to be with you, all the way.”
I brushed her hair out of her face. “I love you, Ali. All the way.” I slid my hand back down her side and between her legs.
“What are you doing?” She sucked in a breath as I circled my thumb over her clit. “Aren’t you going to—aren’t we—”
“It’ll be better for you if you come this way first. I want to make it as good for you as possible. If you come before I enter you . . . it might not hurt as much. Or so I read.” I slipped two fingers inside her, stroking the spot on her inner walls that made her go wild. She arched her back, her breath coming in short gasps, and then I pressed my thumb over the small bundle of nerves and brought my mouth to her nipple. Ali tensed, her hips raised as her fingers dug into my back.
“Flynn . . . oh, my God, Flynn. Oh, God.” She fell back onto the blanket as I stroked her down from the orgasm. “That was incredible.”
“You’re incredible.” I kissed down her neck. “You’re the sexiest, most beautiful woman in the world, Ali. Do you know that?”
“Flynn.” She reached back between my legs. “Please. Make love to me.”
I knelt up and ripped open the condom package. With hands that weren’t quite steady, I rolled the rubber over me for the first time in a situation of real need. I’d practiced putting one on before in the privacy of my own room, but this was a whole different deal. Ali leaned up on her elbows, watching me, which somehow made it even hotter.
“Are you sure?” I needed to ask again, to make sure she knew she could change her mind any time.
“Flynn, I’m so sure, I’m about to roll you onto your back and take you myself.”
I choked on a laugh. “Okay, I get it.” I held her face and lowered my lips to hers. “I just want you to know, Ali, that I love you, and I’ll never leave you. As long as I live.”
She wrapped her arms around my back. “As long as I live.”
I positioned myself between her thighs. I’d listened to enough guys in locker rooms and read enough stuff on line to realize that taking a girl’s virginity was a dicey business. It might hurt her. She might cry. She might bleed. I was going to do my best to make it good for her. But she was taking my V-card too, so we were all newbies here.
I balanced on one arm and with the other hand, I rubbed the head of my cock over her slick folds. Ali hummed, kneading her hands into my back. When I felt like I was going to explode if I didn’t do something, I entered her, just a little.
“Are you okay?” I gritted my teeth, trying to keep from going too fast.
“Yes, I’m good. It just burns a little—but it’s good. Don’t hold back.” She tilted her hips up, and on instinct I could no longer deny, I plunged into her.
For a moment, I couldn’t think of anything except Oh. My. God. The sensation was the most incredible thing I’d ever felt in my life. Tight, slippery heat surrounded me, and I never wanted it to end.
Then Ali hooked her legs around my hips, trying to bring me even closer. “Flynn, more. It feels so good.”
“I’m afraid I’ll hurt you.” I clenched my jaw.
“You’re not going to hurt me. Please. Faster.”
I didn’t need to be told twice. I stroked into her, moving with more force and intent. Ali’s breath began to quicken, and I could feel how close I was to the edge. “Ali, babe, I’m going to come. I’m sorry, I can’t hold back anymore. God, I’m going to come.” I pushed into her one last time and then my entire body was quivering as I came, harder than I ever had.
I knew Ali hadn’t come again, and once I could breathe, I slipped my hand between us and found her clit. Pulsing in and out of her in shallow thrusts, I pressed my fingers to her in tight circles until she cried out my name as her body convulsed around me. It was the most amazing thing I’d ever felt.
I fell onto the blanket next to her, pulling her to the side with me. “God, Ali, I love you.” I stroked her hair back. “Are you okay?”
“I am so far beyond okay that it should probably be illegal.” She grinned at me with sleepy eyes. “Thank you, Flynn.”
“You’re thanking me?” I snorted. “Ali, you blow my mind. I can’t believe we did this. It was . . . amazing.”
“Do you think it’s always this way? I mean, you and I don’t have any comparisons.”
“Does it matter? I don’t want any comparisons. I only want you.”
Ali framed my face with her hands. “Now and forever.” She pulled my lips down to cover hers, and I was lost again.
We’d had a little over a year together after the first night, and we’d made love countless times. But that night never left my mind, and wherever I was in the world, if the air had a certain softness and the scent of lilacs, I was transported back to a river bank in Georgia.
“Oh, my God, Ali, that was fabulous.” I leaned back in my chair, stretching. “When did you become such a great cook?”
She laughed. “It happens when you’re the one doing it all. I’m glad you enjoyed the chicken, though. It was one of my mother’s recipes. One of her favorites.”
I watched as she moved across the kitchen, carrying plates to the sink. I’d asked her to wear the same dress that she’d worn to The Road Block two weeks ago, and now I was cursing myself, because seeing her ass moving under the flowered cotton was about to kill me.
She returned to the table and leaned her hands down, pressing her arms against her sides and throwing her tits into prominence. When she bent at the waist to look me in the eye, I could see down the low-cut neckline to the tops of her luscious boobs. I couldn’t look away.
“Flynn?” Ali was speaking to me, a smile playing around her lips and one eyebrow quirked at me. “I said, do you want dessert now, or later?”
I raised my eyes to hers with no small effort. “If you’re dessert, I want it now.”
She cocked her head. “I made chocolate cake.”
I reached for her hand and laced our fingers together. “You now, chocolate cake later.”
“That sounds like a good plan.” Ali moved around the table to stand next to me. She bit the corner of her lip, and I felt some of my earlier nerves coming back.
“Hey.” I traced her mouth with my finger. “It’s just me. Are you freaking out?”
She closed her eyes and blew out a breath. “I am. I know it’s crazy, but I’m nervous. All week, I couldn’t wait for tonight. I’ve been so . . . so damned keyed up, wanting you, but now that you’re here in person, I’m second-guessing everything.”
“Come here.” I pulled her down onto my lap. “Ali, it’s me. It’s us. We lost our virginity together. Or rather, we gave it to each other.”
“I know.” She toyed with the collar of my shirt, and the slightest brush of her fingers against my skin was setting me on fire. “But since then . . . a lot has happened. A lot has changed.”
“The important things haven’t changed.” I hadn’t planned to say this yet. I didn’t want to ruin anything by jumping the gun. But maybe it was essential to say it first. “Ali, I love you. I’ve loved you since we were fourteen, and I’m pretty sure I’m going to love you until I’m a hundred and fourteen. Probably longer. So no matter what’s happened or changed in the last nine years, that hasn’t. And it won’t.”
“Flynn.” Ali pressed her forehead against mine. “I want to tell you I feel the same way. I do. But I’m still so afraid.”
“Don’t be afraid. I was an idiot to leave you before, and I’m not going to do it again.”
She nodded. “I believe you. I want to. But it’s more than that. I’m worried about . . . not being good enough.”
I would’ve laughed if I couldn’t have seen how serious she was. “Why the hell would you think that?”
Her throat worked. “First, because I haven’t been with any man for a very, very long time. I told you Craig and I had . . . trouble. I couldn’t stand to have him touch me. We only were together twice. Once before Bridget was born, when I was pregnant, and then after. I think he thought—hoped—it was just the pregnancy that made it so awkward the first time. So when the doctor gave me the green light after I had Bridge, Craig really tried. He set up this romantic night, plied me with lots of wine and was so patient. It was okay during, for him at least, but after, I couldn’t stop crying.” She sighed. “I’m pretty sure that’s when he decided to leave.”
My heart ached for her. “And no one else, Ali? In all that time?”
She flushed. “Men weren’t exactly knocking down the door, and I didn’t have any time to go find them. No, no one else.” She linked her hands behind my neck. “I didn’t want anyone. Not until you came back to town.”
I smiled. “That’s not something to be nervous about, babe. I know it makes me sound like a huge chauvinist pig, but I’m glad you weren’t with other guys. You’ve been mine for a long time. I like that.”
“And that’s the second thing that worries me. You’ve been with other women.” She said it definitively. “They’ve probably been . . . experienced. I’m not. What if you realize I’m a letdown?”
“Ali, no way.” I exhaled. “I’m not going to lie to you. Yeah, I’ve slept with other women. But you need to know . . . I didn’t have sex with anyone else until after you married Craig. One night, a few weeks after, I got ripping drunk, and I slept with a girl I’d met at the office where I worked. It didn’t mean anything. She knew it and so did I.” I lifted my shoulders. “Other than that, yeah, there’ve been women here or there. Not as many as you probably think. No relationships. Just nights when I couldn’t stand to be alone anymore.”
Ali nodded, but her eyes were fastened on my chest. “I didn’t think you were a monk. It still makes me feel like I might be inadequate.” She tightened her hands behind my neck. “And I’m scared . . . because I don’t have the same body I did ten years ago. I had a baby, Flynn. And I’m not seventeen anymore. What if my body disgusts you?”
I couldn’t help it. I dropped my head back and laughed. “You’re insane, you know that, right? Your body? Didn’t you hear what I told you the other night, on the phone? Seeing you makes me hard. You’re fucking perfect, babe. I promise.” I paused, thinking for a minute. “I have an idea. You game to try something?”
Interest sparked in her eyes. “Like what?”
“You said you were getting turned on when we were talking on the phone. Go up to your room. Take your phone. I’ll call you from down here, and we’ll . . . talk. And then when you’re ready for me to come upstairs, I’ll be there faster than you can say the words.”
She giggled, but I could see the prospective intrigued her. “Really? Isn’t that kind of silly?”
“Hey.” I tilted her chin with one finger. “Nothing’s silly when it comes to you and me. Remember, we talk about everything. And we work through it together. So get your phone and go up. Oh, but first . . .” I slid my arms around her waist and drew her closer to me. “First, I’m going to kiss you. If nothing else happens tonight, I’ve been waiting and wanting to kiss you for weeks. That’s happening.”
Before she could respond, I pulled her to me and angled my mouth over her lips. I started soft, with just a touch, but the moment we connected, desire surged. I coaxed her mouth open and trailed my tongue over hers and around her inner lips. Ali moaned a little, just a low sound, but it drove me freaking crazy. I wanted her now, spread open and begging for me.
But I could feel that she was still nervous. Still tentative. So reluctantly I leaned back and pushed her off my lap, my hands gentle on her hips. “If you don’t go upstairs now, I’m going to forget why I’m sending you there.” I gave her a light swat on the ass. “Hurry up before you miss my call.”
Ali grabbed her phone from the counter and sprinted up the steps. I gave her a few seconds to get settled on her bed before I called her.
“Hi, Flynn.” Her voice was low, like it was every night when I called her. I settled back in my chair.
“Hey, Ali. Everything okay there?” It was how I started out every conversation with her.
“Yes, everything’s fine.” She paused, and I figured she was waiting for me to bring up a do-you-remember, as I usually did. But before I could think of what I wanted to say, she spoke again. “Do you remember the last time we made love?”
I closed my eyes. Hell, yeah, I remembered it. “I do. We were down at the lake again. It was the night before graduation. And we went skinny-dipping that night, because it was so hot.”
“You chased me into the water, and I thought we were just going to cool off and then get out. But you caught me after I surfaced from going under, and you pulled me close, and I could feel how . . . aroused you were. And you looked at me, and without either of us saying a word, I wrapped my legs around your hips, and you entered me. We didn’t say anything. There wasn’t any sound but the slosh of the water around us, and when I started to come, you did, too. I had one of the most intense orgasms I’d ever had.”
My cock pulsed between my legs, and I was having trouble breathing. “Yeah. And then I carried you out of the water, still inside you, and we laid down on the blanket, and just . . . touched each other until I was hard again. I rolled us over so you were on top, and you rode me. Your tits were gorgeous, right in my face, and I leaned up to suck your nipple. You told me to do it hard. You ground down on me and started to come. And I—”
“Flynn.” Her voice sounded strangled. “Flynn, come up here. Come up here and make love to me. I want you.”
I dropped my phone and took the steps two at a time. Ali’s door was open, and she lay on her bed, her dress hiked up just enough that I could see she wasn’t wearing any underwear.
“Ali. Holy shit.” I dropped to my knees next to her bed and wrapped my arms around her, kissing her open-mouthed and hard. “God, I want you. I want to take you so hard, babe.”
“Yes.” She buried her fingers in my hair. “I need you right now. I’m on fire for you, Flynn. I want you inside me. Now.”
“In a minute. First . . .” I grabbed her leg, moving her so that she lay crossways on the bed. I ducked between her thighs and then tugged down so that my mouth was at her core. “First, I’m going to blow you away.”
I covered her with my mouth, teasing with my tongue. Ali cried out, arching toward me. She was already so wet, and I knew she was on the verge of coming. I sucked lightly on her clit and then speared my tongue into her.
“Come for me, babe. Come right now.”
“God, Flynn! Oh God oh God oh God . . .” And then she was coming apart around me, her fingers clutching me to her as her sex spasmed.
I pulled back and stood up, shedding my shirt and pants as fast as I could. My cock was aching with the need to be inside her.
“Do I need a condom?” I ground out the words as I hovered over her.
Ali shook her head. “I’ve been on the pill since I had Bridget. I’m fine. If you are.”
“Oh, thank God. I’m clean, I promise. I’ve been checked out. I brought some, but I left them in the car. Don’t think I could wait that long.” I looked down at her, disheveled and flushed, her lips swollen and red. She was the sexiest woman I’d ever seen, and I loved her more than I loved my own life.
“Ali, take off your dress.” I’d been crazy to get inside her, and I still was, but more than that, I wanted to savor this moment. I helped her lean up and pulled the cotton material over her head. As I tossed it to the side, she reached behind her and unhooked her bra, releasing her tits. Oh, my God, Ali’s tits. I palmed them, letting my thumbs rub over her nipples before I lowered my mouth to take one between my lips. I sucked, hard, the way I remembered she liked, and I was rewarded with a moan.
Her hands wandered down, seeking, until she had her fingers around my cock. For a moment, she explored me, circling one finger around the head and then gripped the base. She stroked me, driving me back into a frenzy.
“I can’t wait.” I growled into her ear. “Next time, slow. This time, now. Fast. Hard.”
“Yes.” She guided me to her entrance and arched her hips as I drove into her. “Faster. Harder.”
“God, babe, you’re so tight. So fucking perfect.” I plunged harder, feeling the build of an orgasm that I’d been working up to for weeks.
Ali cried out my name, her nails digging into my arms as she came. Her channel clenched around me, pushing me over the edge into my own insanity. I ground out her name as I came deep within her.
It took a few minutes before I could manage regular breathing again. I rolled onto my back, and Ali curled her body against me. She reached to the foot of the bed and pulled a light blanket over us.
I stroked her hair, lost in the quiet of a moment I thought I’d never experience again. My heart was still thumping against my rib cage.
“Flynn.” Ali spoke into the silence. “I love you. I’m still scared. But I love you. I never stopped. And I never will.”
“Don’t be scared. Or if you have to be scared, we’ll be scared together. Okay?”
She smiled. “That works.”
I closed my eyes, listening to the sound of Ali’s breathing. I let my hands wander over her skin, reveling in the softness.
Ali traced one finger over my chest, touching one side. “What’s this?” She sounded curious, and I grinned.
“Are you checking out my ink, babe?” I covered her hand with mine, squeezing before I let her go.
“Have you had it long?” She rested her chin on my chest, and her hair tickled my stomach.
“About five years, I guess. I spent three months in Jerusalem on assignment, and it really affected me. There’s so much beauty, and so much history, but so much hate, too. Violence.”
“What does it mean? The last word is peace, I know, but what are the other two?”
I turned my head to suck her earlobe into my mouth. “They all say peace. The top is in Hebrew, the middle is Arabic, and then as you said, the bottom is English. It’s a trilingual wordmark.”
“Very cool.” She shivered when I darted out my tongue to tickle her ear again. “You’ve been all over the world. Just like you always wanted.”
“How do you know?”
The ghost of a smile flitted over her lips. “I followed you via the internet. It was like rubbing salt in a wound sometimes, but I got to see where you were.”
“I’ve been very lucky. But you want to know a secret?” I threaded my fingers through her hair and twisted the heavy length around my hand.
“Of course. I want to know all your secrets.” She smirked.
“And so you shall.” I put on a deep, accented voice. “But this one first. I did travel the world. But you did, too.”
Her brow wrinkled. “What do you mean?”
“I mean that everywhere I went, I saw you there. I pictured you on the green hills of Ireland. On the snowy plains of the Ukraine. In the slopes of the Alps. In the gondolas of Venice. In front of the Kremlin. On the Temple Mound. I’d take a picture, and then I’d turn and catch you out of the corner of my eye. Just beyond my sight. I never went anywhere that I didn’t see you, Ali. You were with me all the time.”
Her brown eyes filled with tears that overflowed and landed on my chest. “Flynn, that’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever heard. And you have no idea how much that means to me.”
I trailed one hand down her spine to her perfect ass. “Does it mean enough for you to go downstairs and bring us some chocolate cake?”
She rolled her eyes. “Why don’t we just go downstairs and eat it at the table, like civilized folk?”
“Because.” I rolled her under me again and sucked lightly on her neck. “If you bring it up here, I can eat it off your boobs. And your stomach. And your—”
“Okay, okay.” She wriggled out from under my body. “You convinced me.” She pulled the blanket off me and wrapped it around her, tucking it beneath her arms. “But only if I get to eat the vanilla ice cream off you.”
“Oh, baby. It’s a deal.”