CHAPTER 14
“I’m wrecked,” Jared confessed to all of his brothers the next day at Grady’s house. Leaning back in his chair, he ran a frustrated hand through his hair and took another slug of his beer.
All four of them were having a bachelor party that Jared was fairly certain Dante didn’t even want, sitting at Grady’s kitchen table and killing off a whole lot of beer. Dante and Grady roared with laughter, while Evan simply stared with his usual icy control.
“Bastards,” Jared mumbled irritably as Grady and Dante continued to chuckle.
“Welcome to the agony and ecstasy of love, little brother,” Dante told him jokingly.
“I don’t love her,” Jared answered hastily. Maybe a little too hastily.
Hell, maybe he shouldn’t have mentioned his involvement with Mara, told his brothers how it was getting to him, but he needed a male to talk to. He figured maybe more than one was needed for this particular situation.
Grady and Dante starting chortling again, and Jared shot them both a dirty look.
“Perhaps he doesn’t love her,” Evan observed, taking a sip of his bottled water, which he’d insisted be served in a real glass. “Not everyone is cut out for obsessive love.”
Dante glared at Evan. “You might be capable of it if you’d take the poker out of your ass. When did you get so damned uptight anyway?”
Evan glanced back at Dante stoically. “The poker was put there by one of the best at torturing other people. And not everyone is cut out for love.”
“Who put it there?” Grady asked curiously.
Evan’s eyes fixed on his water, he replied, “Our father.”
Jared swallowed hard, remembering how Evan had always been the caretaker of every one of them when they were younger. His eldest brother had never let go of that particular habit. Maybe Jared had hated his oldest sibling when he’d dragged him back into reality, but Evan had been there for him, asshole or not. Sometimes actions were more telling than words. Evan might be frigid, but he wasn’t completely frozen all the way through.
Being the eldest, Evan had always been expected to take over their father’s business. Their old man had died while Evan was still in college getting his business degree, but his older brother had been forced into their father’s company almost every moment he hadn’t been in school. From the time he was a young child, the heir apparent was being trained up by the biggest bastard in the country as soon as he could walk and talk—their abusive, alcoholic father. Remorse hit Jared hard and fast, suddenly realizing that Evan was a product of the way their father had treated him. His oldest brother had saved most of his other siblings from spending much time with their disparaging and particularly vile parent. But nobody had ever been there to give Evan a break. He’d been his father’s target, a victim just because of his birth order. Evan just hadn’t ever complained. Sometimes, Grady had been his father’s main target because he’d been socially awkward as a child and adolescent, and he’d stuttered quite badly. Even then, Evan had done everything he could to deflect their father’s wrath away from Grady.
“I’m sorry, Ev,” Grady finally spoke, his voice full of regret. “I know the old man was a bastard, and you spent a hell of a lot more time with him than we did.”
“I’m sorry, too,” Dante interjected quickly.
“And me,” Jared added hoarsely, his throat tightening as he tried to imagine what his father had put Evan through as his eldest child and heir.
“I obviously survived,” Evan replied unemotionally. “The business has thrived, and I’ve doubled my own wealth over the last twelve years. I have nothing to complain about.”
Jared wanted to call bullshit on Evan. If his suspicions were correct, Evan had plenty of things he could bitch about that could have made him as bitter as he pretended to be.
“Was it bad?” Grady asked hesitantly. “The time you spent with him alone. Was it really bad?”
Evan shrugged nonchalantly. “You were all there most of the time. It’s ancient history now. We’re all happy.” He hesitated before adding, “Except possibly Jared right now.”
Jared knew that Evan was denying the real truth, but he wasn’t going to push his sibling right now. He knew Evan, and if he didn’t want to talk about his childhood and adolescence, he wouldn’t.
“Because our little brother doesn’t want to admit he’s in love with Mara,” Dante commented right before he slugged another gulp of his beer.
“Because I’m not,” Jared argued vehemently. He wasn’t, right? Just because he lusted after Mara every waking moment of his day, wanted to be with her when he wasn’t, thought of her all of the time, wondered if she was okay. Surely, that wasn’t exactly all about love.
You don’t believe in true love?
Mara’s question drifted through Jared’s mind as he tried to sort out his emotions. Nope. He didn’t believe in love. Or he hadn’t. Now he didn’t know what the hell to think. Was he any less obsessed than his brothers were about their women? At one time, he’d thought they were all crazy. Now he was the one acting like a lunatic.
“Would you walk through fire for her?” Grady asked quietly.
Evan shot him a questioning glance, and Jared almost squirmed as he answered grudgingly, “Yes.”
“What would you do if she didn’t want to see you anymore?” Dante queried.
“I’d seduce her.” I’d fucking beg for the very first time in my life. Holy shit. He wasn’t saying that out loud. Just thinking about it made him shudder, but he knew it was true. He needed Mara just that damn much. “She’s mine. She’s not going anywhere,” he added gruffly.
“Primal instincts,” Grady observed.
“Unable to function without her,” Dante added.
“Staking his claim,” Grady mused.
“Probably thinks about her all the time,” Dante interjected.
“You’re screwed,” Dante and Grady said in unison.
Jared looked at the knowing smiles on Dante’s and Grady’s faces and grumbled, “Assholes.”
“Leave him alone,” Evan ordered commandingly. “I doubt either one of you would have wanted your weaknesses pointed out when you were struggling through your own relationship difficulties.”
Grady and Dante sobered after a moment of thought and nodded slowly, both of them muttering an apology to Jared.
“I thought we were here to play poker,” Evan said evenly. “So far I haven’t seen any of you putting your money where your mouth is or dealing out the cards.”
Even though Jared was irritated, he almost smiled. Nobody could beat Evan at poker, and no doubt Grady and Dante knew they’d get their asses kicked. Not one of them had ever learned to really read Evan in poker, and he had absolutely no “tells.” His eldest brother had been mopping the floor with all of them at poker since they were kids.
Grady got up reluctantly. “I’ll grab the cards and chips.”
Dante rubbed his hands together. “I’m the groom. It has to be my lucky night.”
“We’ll see,” Evan said noncommittally, arrogantly. “But don’t count on it. Lucky at cards, unlucky in love,” Evan quoted the old saying drily. “I believe I’m the only one who can claim that truth anymore.”
A few weeks ago, Jared could have argued with Evan. Nobody had been more unlucky in love than him. Now, thinking about Mara, he kept his silence. He’d happily let Evan take his money if he could just have the woman he wanted.
Evan kicked everybody’s ass and left with a rather large IOU from every single one of his brothers several hours later.
He took his less-than-sober siblings home without ever cracking a smile for the pounding he’d given his younger brothers.
“I’m ruined,” Mara told the four women sitting in Dante’s living room as she downed the last of her second strawberry daiquiri. The bachelorette party was small, just her, Kristin, Randi, Sarah, and Emily. She wasn’t much of a drinker, so after consuming two drinks that tasted like Randi had gone pretty heavy on the rum, Mara had become very talky.
Okay. Yeah. She’d let her relationship with Jared slip, and after that, she’d blurted out most of the story—minus the mind-blowing sex part. Some things were just too private and much too intimate to share, even if she was a little tipsy.
Picking up another satin bag, she started stuffing in the adorable wedding favors that Sarah had picked out: miniature bottles of cognac, gourmet coffee, tea diffusers, and a crystal from Beatrice’s store, Natural Elements. She picked up the tiny card, an inclusion that Sarah had insisted on so that everyone knew about her fiancé’s generous nature. It explained that one of the party favors was a donation to a charity for abused women in the guest’s name. It was a unique idea, and Sarah had related the information to all of them earlier that Dante had donated an enormous sum of money to give a donation from every wedding guest attending. It was a charity being managed by Jason Sutherland, Hope’s husband. Apparently, it was a major joint project for the Harrisons, the Hudsons, Max and Mia Hamilton, and the Colters of Colorado, all billionaires and obviously compassionate families. How many of the ultrawealthy actually gave up that much time to charity? Sarah had told her that Hope’s husband, Jason, personally managed the funds for the charity, and the other billionaires donated a lot of time to fund-raising. Didn’t people that wealthy usually just write a check and forget about it? It sounded like a wonderful cause, and Mara was glad that money had been donated for her by Dante.
Obviously not all of them just wrote a check and forgot about the cause.
Sarah had explained that even Evan was heavily involved with the project, and Grady had happily jumped on board quite some time ago. When Dante learned about it, he came up with the idea for a wedding favor of donating for every guest. It was thoughtful and sweet. As a physician who had seen her share of abused women, Sarah adored Dante even more for donating and coming up with the unique idea . . . if it was even possible for Sarah to dote on her fiancé more than she already did.
Closing the ties on the black bag, which was personalized with gold lettering, Mara added it to the growing pile of finished favor bags and reached for the next.
“He’s the one, isn’t he,” Kristin said reverently from her seat beside Mara on the couch.
Yes. Yes. Yes.
The single word echoed in Mara’s heart as she replied, “How do you know? How does any woman know?” Mara knew because she’d never felt this way before, and gut instinct had been gnawing at her insides since she’d met Jared. Something had been different about him, the connection she’d felt for him almost . . . magical. There was no doubt in her mind that she was in love with him. Deeply. Insanely. Passionately.
Sarah stopped stuffing her bag to look at Mara. “You just know, Mara. I think sometimes we fight it because we’re afraid to really feel that strongly. But we sense it. If he’s the man you’re meant to be with, nothing is too embarrassing to talk about. He loves you exactly as you are and doesn’t see your imperfections. He’ll be willing to risk everything for you, and you’ll feel the same way.”
Mara knew about how Dante had saved Sarah’s life. It was a small town, and the incident had been huge news. Although Jared hadn’t done something like that, he had risked baring himself to her. He trusted her, and that knowledge made her heart melt into a puddle at her feet. “It’s scary when you feel this way,” she muttered. It was also exhilarating, thrilling, and breathtaking.
“It really is,” Emily agreed readily from her seat in one of the recliners. “But the scary part eventually goes away and all that’s left is the happiness. It’s not like everything is always perfect. Grady and I disagree. We’re both stubborn. But even when we do, we still love each other.” She paused before asking, “Are you in love with Jared?”
Mara caught Emily’s gaze and finally nodded. “I am. I don’t know how it happened or why the two of us seem to fit together. We’re so different.”
“Different because he’s so rich?” Kristin questioned.
“No. It’s more than that. I don’t care about the money. I care about . . . Jared.” She wouldn’t reveal any of Jared’s secrets, even if she was a little intoxicated. “Jared is urbane, sophisticated. He’s brilliant at business, and one of the most eligible bachelors in the world. I’m a small-town woman who isn’t the least bit elegant. I had to drop out of college because my mother was sick, and I’ve only traveled out of the state a few times. I’m not worldly, and my life is fairly ordinary. I’m ordinary.”
“That’s just superficial differences. They don’t matter. I think beneath all of Jared’s bluster, he’s a good man,” Sarah mused. “I think Dante knew he was interested in somebody in town. I even think he knew it was you.”
Mara’s head snapped up. “He did? How? Even I didn’t know.”
Sarah smiled at her. “Cop instinct, I guess. He was on to the fact that Jared wasn’t seeing anybody.”
“He hasn’t for a while now. Been with anybody, I mean,” she added hastily. “He said he’s seen with a lot of women, but some of them are just friends. I believe him.”
“I believe that,” Emily chirped. “The tabloids and media can be brutal. So much speculation without the facts. I think it would be great if you and Jared ended up together. I think he needs you.”
I don’t deserve you, Mara, but I need you.
She sighed as she remembered Jared’s words. The big question was . . . did he love her? Was he starting to fall as hard as she was falling? “I guess we’ll just have to see what happens.” Her heart was now open to Jared, his to cherish or break. She was rolling the dice on him, and she hoped her instincts were right. If not, she’d be shattered.
“God, he’s hot,” Kristin commented enthusiastically.
“He is. That’s why I don’t understand why he’s interested in me. I’m probably the plainest, most boring woman in town.”
“That’s not true,” Sarah replied hotly. “You’re pretty and sweet. Dante once said that sweet women are a Sinclair’s downfall.”
Randi snorted. “I guess I never have to worry about being any Sinclair man’s downfall then.”
Mara glanced at the petite brunette. She didn’t believe Randi for a second. She might act like she was tough, but she was willing to bet the woman had a warm heart. She’d never been anything but kind to her, and Randi volunteered a lot of her time at the Youth Center when she wasn’t teaching at the local school.
“Grady loves me, and I’m plain, tall, and curvy,” Emily added firmly. “It’s like he’s blind to every fault I have.”
“Jared is, too,” Mara admitted in a perplexed voice. “He looks at me like I’m a supermodel. It’s like he thinks I’m perfect.” She rolled her eyes just at the thought of her ever being without fault, physically or emotionally.
“He is the one,” Kristin affirmed with a smile.
“Definitely,” Sarah seconded.
“He’s in love with you,” Emily confirmed with a nod.
Mara’s heart beat faster and her palms grew sweaty at the thought. There was nothing she wanted more than for the women’s predictions to be true.
The conversation turned directions after a few moments of silence, the ladies talking about the wedding as they stuffed favor bags. It was a simple task, but Mara had never felt more comfortable, so a part of something that bonded her together with other females, a group of women she could easily call friends. There wasn’t a bit of cattiness in any of them, and they were genuinely warm and caring.
Cutting off any negative thoughts about Jared, she just enjoyed the memory of how blissful it had been when they’d woken up together that morning. Jared had held her close the entire night, his powerful arms still wrapped around her when they woke.
For now, those feelings, that sense of closeness would have to be enough.