CHAPTER 20
Away from prying eyes, Mara had bawled her eyes out in the home that she’d lived in all her life. Seated on the soot-covered floor in the kitchen, the only room still partially standing, she’d let go of her sorrow about everything: her loneliness, hopelessness, the pain of missing her mother, and most of all the betrayal of a man she loved.
Her arms wrapped around her upper body, she rocked on the floor, wondering where she could go from here. She’d thought she might find comfort in the old kitchen where she’d spent so much time with her mom, but all she felt was shame and failure as she sat in the burned-out remains of what had once been her home.
“I’m not so sure all will be better in the morning anymore, Mom,” she whispered huskily, as though her parent were listening. “And I don’t think you’d be very proud of me for being such an idiot. I guess maybe I thought that I loved him enough for both of us, but I was wrong. So wrong. He told me he didn’t believe in love, and he doesn’t. I just didn’t want to listen.”
“He loves you,” a low baritone spoke above Mara, startling her. The last thing she’d expected was for anybody to answer her heartbroken ramblings.
Mara swiped the tears from her face as she glanced up to see Evan Sinclair standing over her, big and intimidating. Strangely, she wasn’t the least bit surprised to see him there. Was there anything the man couldn’t find out? Her location had probably been easy. “What are you doing here?”
He grimaced and then lowered his bulky body down beside her. “This is my favorite tux,” he grumbled, sounding unhappy that he was soiling it.
“You can leave. There’s no point in you being here. The house isn’t safe, and the fire is still under investigation.” She was too distraught to care that she was in a restricted and potentially dangerous area, but she didn’t want Evan to get hurt.
They weren’t quite touching, but their shoulders were close as they both leaned back against what used to be the kitchen cupboard.
“You’re here,” Evan answered, as though that explained everything. “Jared loves you. I think you need to know that. He’s looking for you. I doubt it will be long before he thinks of coming here.”
“Why did you come here?”
“This is where it all began. I think it’s human nature to return to the place where you were happy once when you’re troubled,” Evan said gravely.
Mara turned her head and gaped at him, surprised that he was so insightful. “Jared and I are done. I don’t know what will happen to the business now, but I can’t live with him anymore. It’s pretty obvious that everything he’s done was out of pity and guilt.”
“Then you can use my house,” Evan offered stoically. “And my offer still stands to help with your business. Same terms. Although I doubt it will be necessary.”
“You feel sorry for me, too,” Mara replied, feeling pathetic.
“I don’t do business deals because I feel sorry for someone, Mara. I do it to make money. Your business is extremely viable, and the growth potential is enormous.”
“Jared and I signed contracts.” An agreement I insisted on making. Now, she wished she would have lagged a little more. It was going to be a lot harder to end a business arrangement that was completely in writing.
“You did more than that,” Evan mentioned irritably. “Maybe my brother didn’t always believe in love, but he has since you came into his life. He bought the house because he was already head over heels for you. Maybe he didn’t realize it then, but he knows it now.”
“Why would he do that if he cared about me?” Mara asked, puzzled by his observation. She felt compelled to listen to him because, like it or not, Evan Sinclair was rarely wrong.
“The same reason that he almost ran in to his own death the night of the fire. To protect you. If I hadn’t caught him in time, he would have run into that damn inferno after you. He didn’t know you weren’t inside, and like the hothead he is, he plowed ahead into the fire to rescue you when you were already safe. I caught him just in time.”
“Jared went after me into the fire?”
“Yes.”
“He could have died,” Mara said shakily.
“There is no could . . . he would have died. The house collapsed completely the second I pulled him out,” Evan corrected angrily. “How in the hell can you doubt his affection for you? He literally walked through fire to try to save you, and he didn’t give a damn if he died doing it.”
“I didn’t know,” Mara replied, dazed by Evan’s revelation. “Then why did he buy the house in the first place?”
“Not for the reasons you think,” Evan said enigmatically. “You’ll have to ask him.”
“Not for profit or because it once belonged to a Sinclair and he wanted the property back in the family again?”
Evan balked. “Like any of the Sinclairs need the money? We have literally hundreds of properties that are or have at one time been owned by a Sinclair, historical properties. Why would he be so obsessed about owning that particular property? Think, Mara. Your reasoning is irrational.”
“It’s emotional,” she confessed. “I love him, but he’s never told me that he loves me.”
Evan rose gracefully to his feet for a man his size and held his hand out to her. “After he risked his life for you, don’t you think you owe him a chance to explain and an opportunity for him to let you know he returns your affections?” He lifted a lofty eyebrow at her.
Mara was still reeling with the knowledge that Jared had almost died because he thought she was still in her home when he arrived during the fire. “He would have died for me. He would have died on the off chance that I was still in the house. He didn’t even check.” She put her trembling hand in Evan’s and let him pull her to her feet.
“Emotion does strange things to people,” Evan replied drily.
“You came into the fire,” Mara reminded him.
Evan shrugged. “I knew you were in there, and I was fairly certain that I had enough time to get you out.”
Mara examined Evan’s detached demeanor. “But it was still a risk.”
“A calculated risk,” he countered aloofly. “It happens in business all the time.”
Mara took a calculated risk of her own and wrapped her arms around Evan’s neck and hugged him. “You still saved me. Thank you.”
She laid her head on his chest and hugged him tightly, waiting, breathing a sigh of relief as his arms came around her awkwardly, returning the embrace.
“No need for all this,” Evan said in an uncomfortable, husky voice.
“There’s every need,” Mara argued. Evan Sinclair needed somebody to care about him, show him some kind of affection. And although he was an easy man to dislike, Mara felt just the opposite. She adored his manipulative ways because they were proof of how much he cared, even though he couldn’t show it.
“I swear to God, I’m going to kill you,” Jared’s furious voice bellowed from behind them.
Mara let go of Evan slowly and turned to face Jared, the pure wrath on his face jolting her into motion.
“I told you to claim her before someone else did,” Evan cajoled, calmly wiping soot from his tux as he turned and started walking away.
“Goddammit, get your ass back here. I’m going to kick it until you can’t walk,” Jared vowed through gritted teeth.
Mara flung herself at Jared as he lunged toward his brother. “Don’t, Jared. Please don’t. You’ll regret it. He was trying to help me.” Wrapping her arms around his neck, she lifted her legs around his waist so he had to bear her weight. He’d either drop her or stop going after his brother.
Calculated risk.
He halted and propped his hands under her ass to hold her up. “I’ll find him.”
“No, you won’t,” Mara told him soothingly, running a hand over his jaw. “What you saw was completely innocent. I need you to believe me.”
The tension in his body started to relax. “I’ve always believed in you,” Jared growled.
“Then take me home,” she begged. “Please.”
He hesitated for a fraction of a second, his expression still raw and enraged. Mara hugged him tighter and put her head on his shoulder, trusting him completely to make the right choice. The last thing she wanted was to put a void between Jared and Evan. She had no idea why Evan had chosen to tweak a tiger by its tail in provoking Jared that way, but after he saved her life and cared about her as a person in his own peculiar way, she didn’t want Evan to get hurt. And she knew that once Jared threw a punch, it would wound Evan greatly, and not just physically. It would kill Jared to have taken a shot at his brother in anger. It just couldn’t happen.
“Fine. You’re going home with me, and then you can explain why my brother had his hands on you and you were in his arms. Again,” he demanded in a graveled voice.
“I’ll explain.”
Without another word, Jared carried her out of the house and into his car. As he put her gently in the seat, he said fiercely, “You. Belong. With. Me.”
His touch and the ferociousness of his words soothed her soul. She didn’t know what the truth was about why Jared had bought her house, but she already knew it wasn’t for nefarious reasons. She trusted him, and she vowed right then and there she’d never doubt him again. He’d given her his faith by not going after his brother, and he’d been willing to die for her. If he never wanted to give her the real reason behind his purchase of her house, she didn’t care. She loved him, and she finally knew with absolute certainty that he loved her back.
Jared was silent as he led her into his house instead of the guest house, taking her by the hand as though he was afraid she’d disappear.
“Explain,” he said irritably. “What the hell did Evan mean by his comment? Are you two attracted to each other? Is he really what you want? Does he want you?”
Mara busied herself making coffee. “Sit,” she requested as she watched him pace.
He sat at the kitchen table, his glare never leaving her.
“Evan knew I was upset by what I’d heard about you buying my home.” She lifted her hand as he started to speak, signaling him to let her explain. “He found me first. I guess all I wanted was to go home, but that’s not my home anymore. All he tried to do was make me understand that I wasn’t giving you a chance to explain, and I should. He was right. He also told me that you foolishly ran into my burning house to try to save me.” She slammed a cup into the coffeemaker with more force than she needed to. “You could have died, Jared.”
“I didn’t,” he grumbled. “And I wasn’t about to let you die in that fire.”
“But you could have. You would have if Evan hadn’t stopped you.” The reality of that statement hit her straight in the gut. “I hugged him. I wanted to thank him for saving me, and I wanted him to know that somebody cares. Evan is troubled. I don’t think he’s happy. I wanted to see if he’d hug me back.”
“He did. The bastard.”
“Reluctantly,” Mara mused, sliding a cup of coffee in front of Jared. “He’s not used to affection, Jared. No, I don’t have any secret longing for your older brother. I love you. I love you so much that I was temporarily insane when I thought you might have betrayed me. I’m sorry.” She put another cup in the machine and waited for her coffee to finish.
“You don’t need to be sorry. I should have told you a long time ago. I was afraid you’d hate me,” he admitted despondently.
“Don’t be upset with Evan. I don’t know why he was encouraging you to be angry, but he isn’t interested in me that way. He’s been more like a brother or a friend to me. I think you already know Evan was yanking your chain. He’d never betray you that way. None of your brothers would.” Pulling the cup from the coffeemaker, she added creamer. “I hope you can believe that, because it’s the truth.”
“I believe you.” He didn’t look at her as he took a sip of his coffee. “I think Evan was trying to get me to do something I should have done a long time ago.”
“What?” She sat down at the table beside him.
“Claim you as mine.”
“I don’t think Evan would push you to do something you don’t want—”
“I want to. I’ve always wanted you, and Evan knows it. I love the bastard, but he’s manipulative as hell.”
Mara smiled at Jared’s disgruntled look. “I think he means well.”
“He’s conniving,” he grunted. “Likes things to work out the way he wants them to be, or the way he thinks they should be.” He heaved a loud, masculine sigh. “I should have told you about the purchase of your house.”
Mara’s heart hammered as she asked hesitantly, “Did you offer me help because you felt sorry for me because I wasn’t going to have a home?”
He finally met her eyes, his deep jade glance piercing her. “No. I wanted to fuck you. It was more than that, but that was my primary goal in the beginning when I offered to help you. I won’t lie to you. I wanted you the first time I saw you. My dick knew how I felt about you immediately. It took my brain a while to catch up.”
Mara’s breath hitched as his penetrating gaze impaled her, holding her eyes captive. “Tell me why you bought the house in the first place.”
“Because I knew the house was a death trap, Mara. I’m an architect, and I know old houses. I couldn’t inspect everything, so I bought the damn house and looked at what had—or should I say hadn’t—been done to it over the years. The fire was my fucking greatest fear come to life. I wanted you out of there before it happened. I was too damn late, and it nearly killed me when that house caught fire.” He paused for a moment before continuing in a forlorn tone, “I knew you’d be upset that the house had been purchased, but at least you’d be alive,” he said huskily. “I also knew you’d probably hate me, but I couldn’t leave Amesport knowing you were living in a house that was dangerous. I couldn’t do it.”
Mara’s heart felt like a large fist was wrapping around it and holding it in a crushing grip. “So you were trying to save me?” Sweet Jesus. He’d been trying to save her life even back then. “What were you going to do with the house?”
“I had no fucking idea. I don’t need another place in Amesport. It would have had to go through costly renovation or come down.” He was silent for a moment before he added, “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. Once I fell completely in love with you, I didn’t want you to hate me. Once you said you loved me, I was terrified that you wouldn’t love me anymore.”
She felt like her heart was completely exploding, the pressure unbearable. “I’ll always love you, Jared,” she choked out. Getting up, she pushed their coffee to the center of the table and straddled him on the chair. “You love me?” Even now, Mara longed to finally hear the words.
He grasped both sides of her head so she’d look directly at him. “Jesus, woman, if you haven’t figured that out by now, I don’t know how else to show you how much I love you. When you left the reception today, I was more afraid of losing you than I’ve ever been scared of anything. I need you, Mara. I love you so damn much that I can’t fucking breathe.”
“I’m not going anywhere. I was scared, too. Loving a man this much is frightening,” she whispered as she lowered her mouth to his.
Snaking his arm behind her head, he took control of the embrace immediately, ravaging her mouth with such ferocity and desperation that Mara could do nothing except wrap her arms around his neck and hold on. He conquered. Controlled. Adored. Loved.
Wrenching his mouth away from hers, he growled, “I love you, dammit. I love you.”
“Show me,” she panted.
He stood, taking her body with him, and Mara lowered her feet to the ground. He stripped her quickly, lowering the zipper on her dress and letting it drop to the floor.
“Christ!” he cursed in a low, predatory voice. “If I would have known this was beneath this dress, I would have fucked you before we ever left home.”
“You like?” she teased, glad that Jared appreciated her sexy lingerie, black thong panties with a matching garter belt and stockings. She tore at his clothing, divesting him of his jacket, shirt, and the accessories of the tuxedo. Once he was bare from the waist up, she stroked her palms lovingly over his chest, savoring the rippling muscles as she moved her hand lower.
“No,” he growled as Mara reached for the zipper of his pants.
Tossing their coffee cups into the sink with a loud clatter, he lifted her onto the kitchen table, his hands immediately reaching for her bare breasts. “These have haunted me all day. All I could think about was getting you out of this damn dress so no other man could see what was mine.” His mouth closed over her nipple, biting gently before laving it with his tongue.
Mara clutched his hair, urging him for more. He gave it to her, his mouth alternating from breast to breast, teasing them both until they were so sensitive it was almost unbearable.
Finally, Jared straightened, his hungry gaze fixed on her. Mara felt wanton and beautiful, her sexy, lingerie-clad body sprawled out on the kitchen table, Jared’s hungry eyes devouring her. “You’re so fucking beautiful,” he said fiercely, his fingers stroking lightly over the silk panties. “And you’re so wet for me.”
“No teasing,” she begged. “I need you today.”
“You have me forever,” Jared pledged gruffly. “I hope you’re not too attached to these panties.” One hard tug pulled them from her body, a loud ripping noise audible as the material gave way to Jared’s considerable strength.
His fingers stroked through her welcoming heat, sliding against her clit.
“Jared. Please,” she pleaded, writhing on the table.
He unzipped his pants and liberated his cock, using the head to tease her clit. “You’re mine, Mara. Say it,” he commanded.
“Yes. Yes. I love you, and I’m yours,” she whimpered.
“I love you,” he groaned, plunging deeply inside her, his hands gripping her hips as he slid her ass to the edge of the table.
“Oh, God. You feel so good.” Mara thrust her hips forward, savoring the feel of him inside her. She wrapped her legs around his waist, needing him even closer.
“I’m claiming you. No more bullshit about me not making you mine,” he said gutturally as he slammed into her again.
“You’re mine, too,” Mara asserted with a loud moan.
“Always, baby.” He started moving inside her faster, harder.
The spiral in her belly started to unfurl, tension spreading to every part of body. “Yes. Fuck me, Jared. Hard.”
He pumped into her with an intensity that took her breath away. Panting for air, she moaned as her sheath started to spasm, clamping down on his cock. She splintered as Jared pounded in and out of her unceasingly, no mercy, his fingers searching and finding her clit. He stroked over the tiny bundle of nerves as she shattered screaming his name. “Jared!”
He pulled her up and wrapped his arms around her protectively, lovingly. “I love you, sweetheart. Never forget. Never forget,” he insisted, the muscles in his neck straining as he let out a tortured groan.
Wrapping her arms around him, she dug her nails into his back as she milked him of his orgasm, her body trembling against his.
“Mark me, Mara,” he growled carnally, spearing his hand into her hair and burying his face in her locks.
Primitive instinct surrounded them, and she finally stopped clutching at his back and leaned against him, spent.
They stayed that way for moments or hours. Mara felt like time was standing still as they clung to each other, both of them gasping for breath.
“I love you,” she told him breathlessly, her voice muffled against his chest.
“I love you, too, baby. But I’ll never be able to look at this table without getting hard,” he rumbled, his voice sounding amused.
Mara laughed, hugging him harder against her body. “Are we going back to the guest house? I have no clothes here.”
“No. No more guest house. We can work there, but I want you in my bed where you belong.”
Her heart soared with joy. “Yes. Please.”
“Fuck it. I’ll bring your stuff here later. You aren’t going to need any clothes for a while.”
Lifting her off the table, her legs still around his waist, Jared carried her up the stairs and to his bed.
Mara sighed against his shoulder, knowing the emptiness and loneliness she’d felt since her mom had gotten sick were finally gone forever.
“You’re going to marry me. Soon,” Jared demanded as he dropped her gently on his bed.
Her pulse raced as she looked up at him. “I think we’ve had this discussion before. You didn’t ask.” She was teasing him just like she’d done the first time he’d gone to the market and demanded she spend the day with him, but once again she saw a quick flash of vulnerability in his intense green eyes before it disappeared. She had to wonder all over again if he demanded because he was afraid she’d say no. “I guarantee I’m a sure thing if you ask,” she told him softly.
“Well, will you?” He parroted exactly what he’d said at the market that day, a grin starting to spread across his face as he relaxed and teased her back.
She beamed at him. “I’d love to, Jared. Thank you.” She repeated the same words she’d said to him at the market.
His grin grew even broader as he climbed onto the bed and crawled toward her, stalking her. She squealed as he pounced, trapping her body beneath his powerful form.
“Now that I know you’ll say yes, I’ll ask you for real. Will you marry me, Mara? I swear I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to make you happy.” He was still smiling, but his eyes were predatory and filled with adoration. And love.
“Yes, of course I’ll marry you. I love you.” Mara’s heart was pounding as she gazed back at him, knowing her heart was in her eyes, too. “You’ve already made me happier than I ever dreamed I could be.” She reached up and smoothed back an errant lock of hair from his forehead lovingly. “You love me, and that alone gives me more joy than anything else in the world.”
She could feel his heated breath on her face as he started to lower his head. “Then prepare yourself to become completely elated, sweetheart, because I know damn well I’ll love you more and more every damn day, every time I touch you or see you smile at me.”
She smiled at him tremulously. “Lay it on me. I think I can take it.” She could more than take it; she’d be wallowing in it.
“I’m planning to start working on it right now,” he said huskily as his mouth covered hers with a tender passion that rocked her to the depths of her soul.
Mara was more than elated. She was completely ecstatic as Jared proceeded to show her how much he loved her, and she gave herself up to him completely, giving all the love he gave to her right back to him.
They both had a lot of catching up to do when it came to truly being loved, but Mara wasn’t worried as they spent the rest of the day and night together doing nothing but trying to make up for lost time. They had a lifetime now, and it would be filled with nothing but love.