Chapter Eight

GEORGINA

 

 

When Blake told me the next item on my list, something I had to agree to do before he would reveal it, I almost took back my agreement and stormed off to never be part of this again.

I hadn’t cut my hair since it started growing back after chemo. It was halfway down my back now, and not in the best condition, but I was fiercely protective of every strand.

Then I heard that voice whisper inside me, somehow younger than before. The List Georgina is brave Georgina.

This was something I had wanted when I was younger, and even now, part of me wondered what if? Could I be this daring?

Maybe I could. Maybe I did want this.

But I needed support.

I was browsing through images of different haircut styles online when I heard a rapping on the front window. Kaley’s smiling face peered through, waving to me where I sat on the couch.

“Hey, girl.” She gave me a quick hug when I opened the door for her. Priya followed her in, carrying a medium-sized make-up bag.

“Thanks for coming, and for doing this for me, with me, you know,” I mumbled and winced, suddenly awkward having them in my home. They were so nice, and seemed to be happy to adopt me as a new friend, but I was still struggling to dive into that relationship as freely as they’d seemed to.

“No problem,” Priya said. She flicked the ends of her black hair, which hung in a perfectly blunt-angled cut. “I’ve been wanting to change up my look too. Maybe you’ll give me some ideas.”

Both Priya and Kaley had hair that always looked like it had just been done by a hairdresser. They’d seemed like the perfect choice to help me with this mission. I’d sent Kaley a message asking if they wanted to come to the hairdressers with me to help me choose what I’d get done, and they’d revealed that they cut each other’s hair, and were happy to do mine too.

“Pretty flowers.” Priya brushed her fingers over the roses, inspecting them. “From your flash dance boy?”

“I don’t really know. They came without a card.”

“I bet it was him. Public serenades, anonymous flowers? You’re living the dream,” Kaley gushed.

I just shrugged, and blushed. Priya put her bag down on the coffee table near the roses and started pulling out scissors, combs, and a spray bottle which she went and filled at the kitchen sink.

“What are you thinking of getting done?” Priya asked.

I took a deep breath.

“Pixie cut.” My heart had been pounding ever since Blake had said those words. I almost laughed at how this made me more nervous than some of the things on my sexy bucket list.

“Wow. Big change.” Priya squinted at me, assessing my face and hair.

Kaley gasped audibly. “Oh, oh, I can see it already. Look at her—she’s going to be so fregging hot with a pixie cut. I mean, those lips.”

Fregging. That was something Julie used to say, something from one of her sci-fi shows she fangirled over.

I tried not to think of her. Tried to fight the feeling that I was somehow replacing her.

I knew that wasn’t really what was happening. I was allowed to make new friends. But it still hurt. I still felt like I was making a mistake letting anyone into the tragedy of my life.

I forced my derailing train of thought back to the task at hand. I reached for my laptop to show the twins some of the styles I liked the look of, but Kaley waved it away. She was drawing lines around my face with her fingers, talking about sweeping bangs, cheekbone composition, and making my lips pop. Priya nodded along, then shook her head, then nodded again when Kaley rebutted with, “But look at that chin line.”

“I, um—” I tried to interject.

“Don’t worry. We got this.”

“I just …” I didn’t know just what. I hadn’t decided on the cut I wanted. When browsing online I saw half a dozen styles that looked nice on the models who wore them, but I had no idea if they would look good on me, and while they were all ‘pixie cuts’ they varied wildly in style. I couldn’t choose. This was all feeling very sudden, and maybe having someone choose for me was the best option. The twins seemed to know what they were talking about, and based on their own hair, I trusted their tastes and skill. But I was still terrified.

“Okay. I’m putting my hair’s life in your hands,” I said.

Priya put a hand over her heart. “We’re honored. Now, let’s cut these locks.”

A stool from the kitchen was brought into the room, and I sat there, taking deep breaths.

Snnnnnip.

I winced and squealed.

The first few chops cut a ragged line across the nape of my neck, and just like that, the bulk of my hair was gone.

I took in a lungful of air and slowly blew it out before reaching a hand back to feel. It’s gone. My hair is gone. I looked down at the pool of black beneath me on the floorboards. That’s my hair on the ground. There was so much of it. Adrenaline shook my fingers. There was no taking this back, no do-overs. We had to keep going now. Mom, I hope this turns out okay.

“Hold still now.” Priya did most of the cutting, under Kaley’s guidance. I had no idea what was happening or what I looked like. There were no mirrors in sight. Hair was combed down over my face this side and then that. Mist from the spray bottle cooled my neck and cheeks, and sharp little snippets of cut hair prickled through my shirt. The giant stuffed unicorn watched everything from its spot in the corner.

Kaley plugged in a hairdryer and took over. Dark strands gusted around my face, so light and short. My whole head felt wobbly, both from the nerves and the weight that had been removed from it.

“Almost done,” Priya said.

Kaley put the hair-dryer down and stood in front of me with a huge smile, bouncing on the spot. “I can’t wait for you to see this. Where’s your bathroom?”

“Just down the hall past Julie’s … past the empty room.”

Kaley frowned, and nodded, and headed that way.

Priya came around to my front, tugging at the strands of hair around my face, checking their lengths and preening the shape. “We heard about Julie,” she said, tilting her head toward the empty room. “I know someone who was in a class with her. I’m really sorry.”

I looked down at the lifeless hair on the floor. “Me too.”

Kaley bounced back into the room, carrying a large square mirror.

I laughed as she came around in front of me. “You took my bathroom mirror off the wa—WOW.”

The first sight of my new look left me stunned. My hair was so short, shorter than I thought I’d ever dare cut it, but layered with long, sweeping locks that fell just right around my face. I looked sexy, and strong, like the kind of girl who could brave anything.

“It’s … it looks ama—” I burst into tears.

“She doesn’t like it,” Priya and Kaley said to each other at the same time.

“No, I love it. It’s awesome. I just … shit. I’m sorry.” I sniffled back the ugly tears and came clean. “I haven’t had my hair cut at all since I was fifteen, since I had cancer.”

Kaley’s grip on the mirror slipped, but Priya caught it and set it down on the floor.

“This is the kind of thing you might tell someone before letting them do an already high-pressure style change on you,” Priya said softly.

“Sorry. I really do love it. Thank you for doing this for me.” I wiped at my eyes, but the tears wouldn’t stop. I wasn’t even sure anymore if they were sad tears or happy tears, or tears of pure relief, or tears of utter desolation. “I’ve just been going through a lot lately.”

Kaley gave me a brief hug. “Losing a friend, getting a cancer test—sheezuz, girl, crying is totally the okay reaction.”

Priya kneeled in front of me, and asked almost in a whisper, “Have you had your results yet?”

I shook my head.

“Shit,” she said.

“Double shit,” said Kaley. “Well, a change is probably a good thing, right? I get why you’d want a change right now. And you really do look so fregging hot. Like wow. Like whatchoo-doin’-tonight-can-I-have-your-babies hot.” She winked and shimmied her bust at me.

I snorted a laugh, and the tears slowed.

Priya and Kaley helped clean up, and we all stood around the trashcan for a minute of silence together before letting my cut hair slide off the dustpan and into the rubbish. I made coffee, and they stayed, chatting in the kitchen while I had a shower—carefully keeping my blow-dry unsplashed. When I stepped out, clean and fresh, I felt like a new person.

With something else ticked off my unknown list, I felt braver, and better. I still wondered what else was on it, and what would be next. I wondered if Dad knew, and how much he’d been involved in Blake getting that list. The only reason I hadn’t spoken to Dad about it was because I was avoiding seeing him at all. It was too hard after lying to him about my tests, and still having no results to share with him.

Kaley and Priya were leaned in close together over the counter, whispering almost conspiratorially when I returned to the kitchen.

Kaley nodded approvingly at my hair again. “We done good, sis.”

Priya gave her a high five.

I had to agree. “Can I pay you for this? I would’ve been paying a hairdresser anyway.”

“It’s fine. Don’t worry about it.”

My phone buzzed with a message.

Blake: Ready for the next item on your list? Better be, cos thunderbirds are go tonight! Can’t wait to see the new you, as much as I liked the old you.

I frowned in confusion at the rest of the message, offering the time, location, and the final instruction to dress ‘in as little clothing as possible, in sympathy.’

Me: We’re clubbing?

Blake: Not quite. Don’t stress. It will be fun. For you at least.

Me: Is this something I can bring friends to?

Blake: It’s a public venue.

Me: Should I bring friends?

Blake: Only if you feel like punishing me.

My mouth slipped into a mischievous side grin. A little payback for him holding my list hostage sounded good. I turned back to the twins.

“Maybe I can pay you back by taking you out tonight. I can’t tell you what’s going to happen, but I’m sure it’s going to be fun.”