Twenty-Seven

My foot bounced up and down while I waited in the police station lobby. My anxiety was like an out-of-control zoom lens on a camera. One second I would take everything in and be drowning in sensory overload, and the next my brain would drill down on a single detail and not be able to let go. The whipping back and forth between the two made me nauseated. I kept swallowing over and over as my mouth filled up with sour saliva.

The door to the back opened, and I saw Detective Chan step out leading Ryan.

Holy shit. My heart picked up more speed. It was going so fast it seemed ready to explode. I couldn’t hear what they were saying. Ryan’s hands were shoved deep into his pockets, and he kept giving these curt nods.

Finally, Detective Chan looked past Ryan, spotted me in the waiting room, and waved me forward. The nerves running from my brain to my legs seemed to have short-circuited because for a split second they didn’t do as I commanded and I didn’t think I’d be able to stand, but then I jerked up like a puppet who’d had her strings yanked.

I made myself walk toward Chan. Ryan and I passed each other midway through the room. I tried to tell what his expression meant as he went by. Was he warning me? Was he pissed? A quick look at Chan didn’t tell me anything either. His face was a total blank. He’d be a killer poker player. A nervous giggle threatened to bubble up, so I made myself cough instead. Chan stood back and motioned toward the interview room.

Detective Jay was already waiting inside. He stood as I came in. I hoped he couldn’t smell the sweat breaking out under my arms. I nodded rather than said hello because I wasn’t sure I could manage speaking.

I took a long time getting myself settled, pulling the chair in and out slightly. I could feel the panic inside me pushing back, wanting out. Trickles of it sought any weak points in my defenses, slowly eating away my control.

“. . . as you can imagine.”

My head shot up. I’d missed what Chan had said. “Sorry, can you repeat that?”

The two of them exchanged a glance. “I said, we’re very concerned for Paige’s safety.”

I nodded, then realized I was doing it too quickly, my head jerking up and down, so made myself stop. “Me too. You mentioned having me touch her diary pages to see if could pick up anything.”

“I’m afraid we can’t let you see them quite yet. Right now we’re not releasing the full content.” Detective Jay’s expression was neutral. “I’m sure you understand.”

“Oh. Okay.” I curled my toes inside my shoes in beats of five. Had she said something in those pages they didn’t want me to see?

“We just had a couple questions for you,” Detective Jay said. “Have you ever been out to Comstock Park?”

“You mean, like, recently?”

Jay smiled like it wasn’t a stupid question. “Well, we’re most interested in recently, but ever is good to know too.”

Images of me walking through the park ran through my brain. I pictured them finding evidence I’d been there—a hair, a piece of paper from a pocket drifting to the ground. “I used to go out as a kid, for walks with my mom. And a few people used to have parties out there.”

“By the river? Near the picnic setup?” Chan asked.

I nodded.

“How about the rest of the park? You take any hikes out there lately?” Chan pushed.

I shook my head. Had Ryan told them he’d met me at the theater and I’d been walking out behind the building? This was the moment of truth. I’d decided before I came that denial was my best plan.

“Have you had any other visions of Paige? Any sense of where she might be now?” Jay asked.

“No,” I said.

“Can you try to get a reading from something?” Jay reached into his pocket. He pulled out a small bag. The air in my lungs locked into place.

There was no easy way to refuse. I held out my hand, and Jay poured the item out into it. I recognized it instantly. It wasn’t anything of mine.

It was Ryan’s bracelet. There was a piece of white medical tape over the name plate so I couldn’t read the engraving. I stared down at it, my heart hammering away in my chest. If they hooked me up to a lie detector, I’d make it blow up.

I closed my fist around the bracelet and shut my eyes. It was easier if I didn’t have to see them. My brain spun as I tried to figure out what to say. I could say I didn’t have the sense it had anything to do with Paige, but they must already know it belonged to Ryan. I could admit I knew it was Ryan’s. That would give me points for accuracy, but it was also possible he’d already told them he gave it to me. If I was him I would have given me up in a heartbeat, but I had a hunch he hadn’t told them anything. He was playing for time, to get Paige back. He wouldn’t tick her off if he could avoid it. “I’m not getting anything.” I opened my eyes. “Sorry.”

Jay sighed. “It’s okay. It was just a shot in the dark.”

Chan stood, his chair squeaking on the floor. “Thanks for coming in this afternoon,” he said. “Let us know if you’ve got any plans that would take you out of town.”

I nodded. They suspected me of something. They were saying, in not so many words, that if I left, they’d consider it running.

“Would you like me to take you home?” Jay offered.

“No thanks.” The last thing I wanted was time for more awkward conversation.

I walked slowly out of the building. There was always the chance that Paige had left the bracelet there by accident, but I didn’t think that for a second. She’d left it to be found.

I walked down the steps just in time to see the bus turning onto the street. I started to run. I reached the stop just as it braked in a cloud of exhaust. I pulled myself inside, flashing my pass to the driver and dropping into a seat half way back.

That’s when I saw Ryan. He was sitting across the street from the police station on a park bench.

Watching me.