Thirty-Four

I needed to find out more about Lucy’s past, and there was no way Mr. Lester would tell me. I waited until fourth period, then lurked outside the gym waiting for Lindsey. She finally came out of the locker room, her fine blond hair still wet from the shower. Her eyes were red and puffy.

I stepped into her path. “Hey, can I talk to you for a second?”

She stopped short and looked around. I’d checked her schedule before I left Lester’s office. This was the only class she had all day without any of her usual crowd in it.

Lindsey hefted her gym bag higher onto her shoulder. “What do you want?”

I motioned to the open classroom behind me. “It’ll just take a second.” When she didn’t move, I laid on the guilt. “I’m working with the police, and I need to ask you something about Paige. It’s important.”

She followed me into the empty chem lab. She put her bag down on one of the long tables and crossed her arms over her chest. “I’ve talked to the police three times. I don’t know anything.” Her lower lip shook.

There was a faint burnt-chemical smell in the air. Someone’s experiment had gone wrong last period.

“But you guys shared a lot of secrets. Stuff you didn’t even tell other people in your group.” I cocked my head to the side. “She was the only one who knew why you really dropped the debate team.”

The blood drained out of her face, turning her skin a pasty gray. “How do you know—” She shook her head. “It doesn’t matter. I’m not telling you anything. Maybe you’re working with the cops, or maybe you’re just trying to dig up dirt so you and your mom can spread it around in the press. She might be a story to all of you, but she was my best friend.”

“I don’t need you to share any of her secrets. I need to know someone else’s. Did she ever talk to you about Lucy and Ryan?” I held my breath, waiting for her to answer.

Lindsey’s eyes widened. “How do you know about that? Paige didn’t want anyone to hear that story.”

“That’s why they had the fight back around Christmas, isn’t it?”

“That and the fact that Lucy was basically this huge leech. She was always trying to outdo Paige. Whatever Paige was into, then Lucy had to do it too, only bigger and better. It was like she wanted to be Paige or something. It was weird. Then she went after Paige’s guy. Technically, Paige and Ryan were broken up at the time, but what kind of slut sleeps with a friend’s ex? It was like because Paige had him, she had to.”

“Why didn’t Paige want anyone to know?”

Lindsey sighed. “I’m not sure. I told her we should take that bitch down, but Paige said no. They had it out, and then after that, Lucy kissed her ass. Paige was a bitch to her, but Lucy just took it.” She shrugged. “I figured maybe the whole thing would just blow over.”

“Did Paige ever talk about Lucy’s past?”

Lindsey’s eyebrows drew together in confusion. “Like what?”

Shit. So much for hoping Lindsey would be able to fill in all the gaps.

“I mean, there was something,” Lindsey said. “She told me once after their fight that she wasn’t worried about Lucy anymore because she knew something about her that Lucy would do anything to keep quiet.”

“But she didn’t tell you what it was? A hint—anything?” I strained forward.

Lindsey threw her hands up in the air in frustration. “I don’t know. You’re the one who’s supposed to know everything. But if you want to find out, you should ask your friend Drew.”

I bumped back into the table behind me. “Drew?”

“Yeah. Paige said she was the one who told her.”

My scissors cut through the thick crepe paper. Drew had talked me into helping her and the art crowd make decorations for graduation. They were creating a large painted mural with words like success, dreams, future, and celebration woven into the edges and curves of an elaborate mandala design that would hang along the far wall of the gym for the ceremony. Not to be trusted with the level of detail required for the mural, I’d been assigned cutting out thousands of squares of brightly colored paper that would be strung together and used to decorate the stage. I didn’t mind; the repetitive task gave me time to try and think.

All day my mind had been picking up the things that I knew and moving them around, trying to make sense of all of it. Like turning puzzle pieces to make them fit. Something had happened at Lucy’s old school, something violent. Ryan and Lucy hooked up. What didn’t make sense was why Paige would have forgiven her and made up. Why not tell everyone what Lucy had done? Paige was the victim. Lucy would have been the villain. Sleeping with your friend’s boyfriend was total skank territory. Paige had only told people she could trust to keep it secret.

And that didn’t make sense.

I took a peek over at Drew, who was sitting on the ground, focused on her task as she filled in a portion of the mural. How would she have known about Lucy’s past? Drew had always had a bit of a girl crush on the popular crowd. And while she never had pursued her, I knew she liked Paige. I could see her enjoying having a chance to share something to finally connect her to Paige, but what I couldn’t understand is why she hadn’t told me. Not even after Paige went missing. She never mentioned it once. And that wasn’t like her at all.

I made a stack of red squares and then started in on the yellow.

Drew plopped down next to me at the table. “You don’t have to sit here by yourself, you know.”

“It’s fine.” I searched her face, trying to figure out what else I didn’t know.

Drew picked up another pair of scissors and began cutting alongside me. “Anyone else give you a hard time today?”

“No.” It depended what you considered a hard time. Lucy clearly wasn’t the only person who had decided that being psychic wasn’t a cool party trick anymore. No one said anything—it was the way they looked at me as I moved through the halls and sat in class. Like I was a walking bad luck charm.

“You sure you’re okay?” Drew asked.

“You’ve asked me that at least a hundred times.” I focused on the paper I was cutting as if it held the secret of what I should do next.

Drew put down her scissors and turned so we were face-to-face. “I keep asking because I know you’re not fine, no matter what you say. I’m worried.”

“You don’t have to worry about me.” My eyes started to fill with tears.

“I know I don’t have to do anything. I want to. I’m your best friend. You can try and tell me you’re fine, but I can see you’re not. You keep avoiding me.” Her voice was a mix of irritation and worry. “You don’t listen to what I’m saying half the time. It’s like most of you isn’t even here.”

My hands started to shake, and I dropped the scissors on the table before she noticed. “Things are complicated.” That was the understatement of the century. I swallowed over and over.

“Tell me what’s going on.” She rested her cool hand lightly on my arm.

I wanted to tell her. I’d told Drew almost everything in my life. We had years of slumber parties and whispered secrets between us. Even though we had grown apart over the past year, she was still the closest thing I had to a sister. She would understand how things had gotten out of control—that I never wanted this to happen. I just wanted to go with her to New York. I wanted to not let her down. We’d figure this out together.

“Hey.” Drew’s voice was soft, and I realized I was crying.

“I don’t know where to s-s-start,” I stuttered. I could feel all of it bubbling up inside me, ready to boil over. I looked around, trying to tell if anyone was paying attention. “Drew, I—”

“Drew! We need you.” A junior held a paintbrush and a ruler. “Don’t freak out, but I think we got the measurements wrong.”

She looked at them, annoyed. “Just a sec.” She nudged me. “Go ahead, I’m listening.”

I shook my head to clear it. There was no way we could have this discussion here. I needed to get my shit together first. There was part of me that wondered what else she was keeping from me.

“Later,” I said. “I’ve got to work tonight, but I’ll text you tomorrow.”

Drew sighed. “I’m holding you to that.”