[Jake]

No one sees Kayla, or at least no one says anything. We drive out into the rainy afternoon, lights and sirens on, and race to the scene. I’m not a religious guy but catch myself saying a prayer. We reach the accident and my heart sinks as my throat tightens.

It’s a powder blue Vespa, or at least what’s left of one. Jesus, no. No! Ryan was in a bad way when I left him last night, but he wouldn’t purposely hurt himself. This had to be an accident. It had to be. The rain is a constant drizzle. Ryan must have slipped on the wet pavement.

I sprint to the scooter, dread filling my entire existence the closer I get. There’s no way the rider survived this. The thing is unrecognizable, a pile of mangled metal. I inhale sharply when I see blood on the pavement, slowly diluting with the rain coming down.

“Take the car,” Jordan orders as he grabs two boards off the crash truck. “We’ll get the riders.”

Riders? As in plural? That means Emma was on that scooter with him. My chest tightens. At least I know there’s no way Ryan did this to himself. He’d never put Emma in harm’s way. Please, God. Let them both be okay.

As much as I want to protest, I follow orders and rush to the driver. Ryan and Emma are in good hands with my team. McElroy is already at the car when I get there. The driver is still in her seat, hands like death-grips on the steering wheel, her eyes enormous. As I get a better look, I see a phone in her right hand between the wheel and her palm, and set my jaw. If she was texting and ran the stop sign, I’ll lose it. We’ve already had to bury one student this year from texting and driving. If she wasn’t paying attention and plowed into my friends, I’ll fucking lose it.

“Hi there,” McElroy says to her in a soothing voice. “Can you tell me if you hurt anywhere?”

“He came right at me. I didn’t see the stop sign. B-But he came r-right at me.”

“Are you hurt, ma’am?” I swallow my anger and take McElroy’s lead, using a calm, soothing tone.

“Did I kill them? Please tell me they’re okay. He-He came right at me.”

She’d better pray to God they both walk away from this. I glance over the car to the team surrounding Emma and Ryan. They’ve already got Emma strapped to a board and are working on Ryan. I don’t see the AED out, which could be taken two ways. Either he’s fine and doesn’t need it, or it’s too late. I swallow my worry and grief, and ground out a curse.

“Can I get out now?”

McElroy opens the door and leans in. “How about you let my partner and I here check you out?”

“O-Okay.”

I run to the other side of the car and jump into the passenger’s seat. Once I check her pupils and for any obvious broken bones, I nod at McElroy. “She’s good. Want me to get a board?”

McElroy nods and I run back to the crash truck to grab one. When I return, we strap her to the board and extract her from the vehicle. She’s tiny, no bigger than a minute, and we carry her over to the ambulance.

“I’m fine. You need to help them. Please let them be okay!” She sobs.

I force a smile and bite my tongue. This accident didn’t need to happen. If she would have waited to read the text. Or send the text. Or whatever. It didn’t need to happen. I can’t think about that right now. I have a job to do. Whether I feel like helping this girl or not, I’ll do what needs to be done. “We have an entire team helping them. Our job is to help you. Can you tell me your name?”

“Dawn. I swear I only looked away for a second.”

As much as I want to scream at her for looking away from the road at all, I hold back. Now is not the time. She’ll have plenty of people screaming at her for texting and driving once this hits the press. And it will. Not by any of my team’s hands, but by the number of onlookers holding up phones to record our every step, it’ll be all over social media within the hour.

The EMT helps us get her situated and locked in. “We’ll take it from here. Thanks, guys.”

I rush back to the scene and center in on sobbing. Emma is crying and my throat constricts. At least she has the power to do that. I glance at Ryan and swallow my own sob. His eyes are closed. He’s not moving. Is he breathing? I can’t tell and take a step toward my partner, but Emma’s hysterical cries pull me to her. If she doesn’t calm down, she could do more damage.

“Don’t take me from him! I want to see him! Ryan! Ryan!” She thrashes but they have her so tightly fastened to the board she barely moves. That doesn’t mean she’s okay.

I push past one of the guys until I’m in her view. “Emma? Emma, it’s Jake.”

“Jake!” She sobs and tries to reach for me, but they have her arms strapped in. She struggles against the restraints. “They won’t let me talk to Ryan. Where is he? Is he okay?”

I rest my hands on her shoulders. “You’ll get to see him when you get to the hospital.”

“No! Now! I need to see him. H-He wasn’t moving, Jake!” She breaks and sobs uncontrollably. “He w-wasn’t m-moving.”

I turn just as Jordan looks up. I meet his gaze right before he shakes his head and quickly looks away. I bite the inside of my cheek to stop myself from screaming. Son of a bitch! The last time he looked at me like that, we delivered a body to the morgue. This can’t be happening. Not Ryan. Not my partner. Not my friend.

“Jake! Don’t you leave me. Don’t you dare. Please, tell me what’s going on. I can’t move. Ry-y-yan.” She sobs, like she already knows. She already feels the loss. God knows I do.

“I’m right here.” I grab Emma’s hand and hold onto it for dear life. “I’m not going anywhere.” As we lift her and set her on the gurney, I won’t release her hand. When the EMTs load her into the ambulance, they don’t question me as I climb up and sit next to her, making sure I’m always in her view.

“He’s going to be okay, isn’t he? Tell me he’s going to be okay.”

I can’t do that, so I smile instead and wish the same. But I know the reality of the situation. The shake of Jordan’s head, the somber look in his eyes, confirms my worst fear. We’ll never see Ryan again. “What were you guys doing out in this weather?”

“Looking for apartments.” She closes her eyes and tears run out of the corners. “We’re moving in together.”

I know, having criticized the way Ryan asked her when I snuck up behind Kayla at the diner. Now I feel like shit. I swallow thickly and push the lump in my throat down and wait until I’m in control enough to speak. “Congrats.”

She blinks her eyes open and pins me with her gaze. “Save him, Jake. He’s my everything. I can’t lose him.”

I immediately think of Kayla, about how I’d feel if I lost her. I couldn’t bear it. I squeeze Emma’s hand tighter. “The second we get to the hospital, I’ll check on him, okay? Until then, how about we make sure you’re in tiptop shape so you can yell at him for scaring you. Deal?”

She laughs, which melts into sobs. The EMT is buzzing around taking her vitals and never asks me to move. We pull away from the scene and in no time are at the emergency entrance at Bainbridge Hospital. I stay in Emma’s view and never let go of her hand. “We’re here.”

“Is Ryan here?”

“I’ll check just as soon as we get you inside.”

“Thank you, Jake.”

As soon as a team wheels Emma inside, I turn and stare at the loading dock. Why hasn’t the other ambulance arrived? Did Ryan crash? Did he miraculously recover from his injuries? Or was he already gone? By the time the ambulance pulls in, I’m pacing and swear to God I’ve chipped a few teeth with how hard I’m clenching my jaw. It’s not a good sign when the ambulance doesn’t come in on a code 3. No lights. No siren. No urgency.

I want to run up as soon as those back doors swing open, but force myself to stay out of the way. Another medical team rushes out, grabs Ryan, and disappears inside the hospital as the EMTs follow, barking out their findings. Multiple contusions. Lacerations. Compound fractures. Probable concussion. The list goes on and on as they whisk out of earshot.

The only thing I focus on it the fact he’s alive. Everything else can be fixed. If he lives.

I stand there, numb, staring at the doors as they whoosh shut. My phone buzzes and, eventually, I reach for it. “Yeah?”

“Jake!” It’s Kayla. She’s crying and it tears me apart. As if I’m not having a hard enough time keeping it together. “Oh my God. We just drove by the scene. That’s Ryan’s Vespa. Are they okay? Please tell me they’re okay.”

“Hi, baby.” My voice cracks and I clear my throat as I gather my emotions. “Emma is fine.”

“And Ryan?”

I stifle a sob, swallowing over and over. “I don’t know.”

She sobs and I damn near do, too. My eyes sting as my throat closes. I draw several breaths to pull it back in before I lose it completely. “Please stay there. We’re on our way. I’m coming, Jake. I’ll be right there.”

I hang up and drop the phone. My emotions are too much for me to keep in. This job is hard enough when it’s complete strangers. When it’s people I know, that I care about, it makes it that much harder. I melt against the closest wall as the drizzle turns to a pounding rain. The emotional rejection from Kayla. The fear that Ryan isn’t going to make it. It’s too much, and I break. Each soul-shattering sob rips through me. It’s the first time I’ve cried since I was twelve years old and my mom told me about Chuck dying in that fire. Thank God I’m alone. I don’t want anyone seeing me broken like this.

I don’t know how long I stay there. When I hear my name, I look up to see Kayla running toward me. She doesn’t slow until she jumps into my arms. I hold her tighter than I’ve ever held anything, afraid if I don’t, she’ll disappear. I bury my face into her hair and breathe deep as my emotions threaten to spill over again.

“I’m here,” she whispers as she holds me just as tight. “I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere, Jake. I promise. You’re not alone. I’ve got you, baby. I’m right here.”

She says exactly what I need to hear and a sob breaks loose. God, why can’t I be stronger? I don’t want her to see me like this. When I try to push away, she tightens her hold. I give up the fight and collapse against her, keeping my face buried until I have some level of control over my emotions. By the time I recover, we’re both shivering from the relentless rain. Only when I can breathe again do I pull back and wipe at my eyes. “I promised Emma I’d check on Ryan.”

“Britt is with her.”

“But I promised.” I try to move, but she easy holds me in place.

“Let Britt take care of it. Let me take care of you.”

I haven’t needed anyone to take care of me since I was a kid. “I have to be back at the firehouse. I’m still on shift.”

“Then I’m coming with you.”

I shake my head. “I’ll be okay.”

She takes my hand and curls her fingers around mine. “Goddamn it, Jake. Why won’t you let me help? Let me take care of you for a change.”

“Because I don’t know how.” I’m raw. Vulnerable. She’s caught me at my worst possible time. I’m weak. I hate that she’s seeing me like this, that I can’t collect myself enough to take control. Deep down, I know none of that matters to her, but it matters to me. “I don’t know how to let anyone else take care of me. For as long as I can remember, it’s just been my mom and me. My dad pops in whenever he’s out on parole, but then he gets pinched and is gone again. It’s my job to take care of her. Of everyone. Ryan isn’t as strong as everyone thinks. He’s not meant to be in the field. I am.” I pound my chest as my emotions build once again. “I’m the one who’s supposed to take risks. He’s the guy who stays in the van. I have to protect him. He’s my partner.”

She studies me for several seconds. The rain drenches us and still she doesn’t look away. “That’s why you’re a firefighter. It’s why you purposely moved into a building on the hot sheet. It’s why you’re constantly on the prowl. All so you can take care of everyone else. When are you going to let someone take care of you?”

I don’t need to have this soul-searching conversation, not now. Not ever. I shouldn’t have opened up to her, goddamn it. The fact she nailed it scares the shit out of me. I should have never told her about Chuck. Why isn’t she asking me about my slip up when I admitted Ryan to being my partner? “You don’t get it.”

“Don’t I? You don’t have to hide it, not from me.”

“I’m not hiding anything,” I lie. Shit. How does she know what to say to make me open up to her, especially at a time like this?

“Not from me, you’re not. It’s scary how alike we are. You keep your relationships temporary so you don’t get close, and I make up stupid reasons to push people away.”

“That doesn’t sound anything alike.”

“We end up in the same spot. Alone. In a bar. Doing tequila shots.”

I laugh at the memory. It seems a lifetime ago. She curls under my arm and I pull her to me, grateful she didn’t slap me across the face and storm off when she had the chance. God knows I give her enough of them. “Sounds like we’re both pretty messed up.”

“At least we’re messed up together.”

I kiss the top of her head. Despite her seeing me at my weakest, I’m glad she’s here. “You’re crazy. You know that?”

“You like my crazy.”

“I love your crazy,” I correct and kiss her nose.

She takes my hand. “Let’s check on them. Come on.” She drags me inside the ER and right away, I hear Britt.

“Are you shitting me? Em, that’s the craziest thing you’ve ever said, and you’ve said some crazy shit. You can’t move in with him. Who will I share a dorm with next year? No. No way. You must have a serious head injury.”

Kayla and I exchange glances and head over to the curtain separating Emma from the other ER patients. “You go see Emma,” I tell Kayla. “I’m going to check on Ryan.”

She nods and disappears behind the curtain as I approach the counter. The nurse glances up from the computer, gives my turnout gear a quick look, and nods. “What can I help you with?”

“I’m checking on the other rider of the scooter. We just brought him in.”

“Of course.” She taps on the keys. “He’s at station fifteen.”

Thank God. At least with him at a station, he’s alive. I don’t ask permission to see him and head over like I belong here. No one questions me, thanks to the uniform. When I reach the fifteenth curtain, I slowly pull it back, bracing myself for what I’ll find.

Ryan’s eyes are closed, but as soon as the metal rings scrape across the bar holding up the curtain, he opens them. They have him in the bed, his clothes bloody and torn down the center where they have the electrode pads attached to his flesh to monitor him. I’m so relieved to see him I want to hug him. I don’t know the extent of his injuries, so I smile at him instead.

“’Sup.”

He manages a partial grin. “Hey.”

“Great conversationalists we are, eh?”

“Yeah.”

“How you feeling?”

“Like I’ve been hit by a car. What are you doing here?”

I lift the shoulder of my turnout gear jacket and point out my name sewn into it. “I was called to the scene.” He tries to push up and grimaces. I easily hold him down. “I’m pretty sure you need to stay put.”

He gives up. “They say I have a broken leg, broken collarbone, concussion, and other stuff I can’t remember.”

Again, I’m ready to tear into that driver. I don’t give a shit if it was an accident. It didn’t need to happen. She could have put her phone down. She could have waited. No text is that important. “Is that all?”

“I think some ribs are cracked.” He chuckles and winces. “Ouch. Yep, definitely broken.”

“But you’re alive.”

“The doctor said I’m lucky.”

He has no idea. I’ve seen too many accidents where the rider wasn’t. “I rode in the ambulance with Emma. She was pretty pissed they wouldn’t let her see you.”

His eyes shine and he blinks, sending a tear streaming down his cheek. “Emma. She’s something else.”

“That, she is.”

We sit in silence as Ryan clearly struggles with his emotions. He’s smiling, yet his eyes are swollen, both with tears and impact damage. Finally, he speaks up. “I’m sorry.”

“For what, buddy?”

“For me. The way I’ve been acting. This thing with my dad, and now my mom…” He trails off and squeezes his eyes shut. I rest my hand on his arm, giving him all the time he needs, letting him know I’m here when he’s ready. Finally, he opens his eyes. “How am I going to explain any of this to my family? I don’t want it to be the reason my dad gives up.”

“You don’t say anything. You can’t.” I recall something Bailey said in one of our trainings. “What happens in TREX stays in TREX. It’s all classified.”

Instead of that making him feel better, the look of pain and something else I can’t read twists his expression.

“Sorry. I was only trying to help.”

“It’s not that.” His eyes swell once again. “Can I tell you something? TREX to TREX?”

“Of course.” I move closer to the bed.

“I saw that car run the stop sign. I knew the driver didn’t even see it. Emma screamed. She screamed, Jake. I’ll never get the sound of how scared she was out of my head.” He swallows and blows out a breath as more emotions spill over. “I turned the Vespa right before that car hit us.”

That explains why his injuries were more severe than Emma’s. My chest pinches as reality hits me. Jesus Christ. He really has no idea how lucky he is. “You turned in to the car? That could have killed you, going head-on like that.” Once again, I question whether he wanted to hurt himself. “Ryan, you didn’t do that on purpose, did you?”

He nods, and my worst fear is realized. Before I jump too far into that conclusion, he clarifies. “I had to. She could have been hurt a lot worse. Don’t you get it? Emma slammed into me instead of the car. Even if the impact would have broken every bone in my body, I would have done the same thing.”

“You turned in to the car to take the hit so she wouldn’t have to?”

He nods and closes his eyes, like admitting what he did took everything out of him.

My respect for Ryan skyrockets. He’s a good man and one I will strive to be like for the rest of my days. Every goddamn day. Maybe if I save someone else’s life, it’ll make up for losing Chuck. It’ll make up for all the shit my old man did to hurt my mom. To hurt me. “Does Emma know?”

“No, and I don’t want her to know. I just had to tell someone. You can’t say anything. I told you TREX to TREX. What happens in TREX stays in TREX.”

That’s not even close to the same thing, but I nod anyway. I’m not about to betray his trust. “It’s not like she and I are exactly BFFs.”

“I’m okay with that.”

“Hey!” I gently smack his arm.

He laughs. “I hope you don’t think this is weird, and it’s probably the drugs they have pumping into me, but I’m really glad you’re here. I think of you as a friend, Jake. A very good friend.”

“Yeah, that’s weird. A couple weeks ago we hated each other.”

He grins. “Figured it was the drugs.”

“Funny how a couple missions together changes everything.”

“I’m glad we got stuck with each other.”

“Me too, buddy.” I squeeze his arm.

“When can I see Emma?”

“Let me check. You stay put.”

“Yeah, okay.” He laughs and winces. I cross the ER as I process what Ryan just told me. He didn’t hesitate to risk his life for the woman he loves. Not only that, but he doesn’t want her to know. It doesn’t get any more heroic than that in my book. My partner is something else.

I open the curtain to Emma’s station. She spots me and bursts into tears. “Jake!” She holds open her arms and jerks me to her. For someone who’s just been in an accident, strapped to a board, and rushed to the hospital, she’s freakishly strong. “They won’t tell me anything. They won’t even tell me where he is. Where is he?”

“He’s fine. I just talked to him.”

“He is? Oh my God.” She breaks and sobs hard as she continues to hold me. I don’t fight it and embrace her. She squeezes me so tight I can’t breathe as she cries harder. Still, I don’t release my hold until she does. “Where is he? Tell me right now. I need to see him.”

“You should probably wait for the doctor to release you.”

Britt smacks the back of my head. “Tell her right the fuck now, dipshit.”

I glare over my shoulder. “I know it’s not in your nature, but could you try to not be a psycho bitch for like five minutes?”

She drops her jaw and steps back. I feel bad, but right now isn’t about how I feel. It isn’t about Britt at all. It’s about Emma and Ryan, and celebrating the fact they’ll both recover from what could have been the worst day of one or both of their lives.