Chapter 12

Luminesa

After that night, they’d made love every night since.

Their days were spent keeping the children as entertained as possible, but also in the castle, while their nights were either tangled up in the sheets, or battling ice demons.

After the last incident with Baatha getting hurt and Gerda nearly dying, neither of them had felt it safe to leave.

So they invented fun games of seek. What the children didn’t know was that the games weren’t really games at all, but a search for the key that the Goblin swore he’d hidden somewhere within the castle.

But after another two weeks of intense searching, Luminesa had begun to fear the worst.

That the Goblin had deceived them. He couldn’t outright lie, but he hadn’t given her the full story either.

Lying atop a pile of furs, Luminesa watched the crackling flames with worry lines scrawled across her forehead. They had a week. Only one week to find the keys whereabouts before the Goblin sentenced her to a purgatory of living out her life as human and killing the other three.

A fact of which she would never allow.

Not now.

Not now that she’d come to know the children so well, that she’d fallen completely, madly, and passionately in love with her horse. She would figure something out.

She had to.

“Penny for your thoughts,” Alador said, rolling to a sit up position as he gently rubbed her shoulders.

“Gods you have hands of magic,” she moaned, tipping her head forward as she lost herself to the sensuous pleasure of being touched by her male.

Somehow, by some miracle, Luminesa had fallen head over heels for him.

It terrified her really.

That he had that much power over her. Power she’d freely given him the moment she’d bonded her soul to his.

Smiling softly, she touched a finger to the bracelet of hair around her wrist, dark and light. The power of their union flowed through her arm anytime she did.

He kissed her shoulder, then leaned forward, pressing his naked chest tight to her back and when he spoke she felt the rumble of his words move through her chest.

“Are you happy, Luminesa?”

Such a loaded question.

Was she happy? Incandescently.

“I am. But—”

Taking her shoulders, he gently nudged her to turn around. She did, sitting on her legs as she looked at him.

Her heart squeezed.

Gods he was glorious.

Big, and brawny, and such a beautiful male with such wise and spirited eyes. Sometimes it was easy to forget that she willingly shared a bed with a male that looked as human as the one who’d nearly killed her.

But she no longer saw Alador in that way.

As partly human.

He was simply her horse. Her Alador.

Her partner in life...and maybe even in death.

She sighed.

“You are worried too.” He nodded, finishing her statement for her.

They did that now. Nearly constantly. Finished off one another’s statements. She had no idea if it was a result of the mating bond, or simply the fact that she and Alador were special in a unique way.

Tired of worrying so much, she made a half-hearted attempt to change the subject.

“You know, I rather wondered if the first time we slept together whether I’d lie with the man or the horse.”

He snorted. The sound so like a neigh that she giggled. He might not like being called a horse, but...

Lips twitching, he poked a finger in her ribs. She loved this playful side of him.

Just like her, Alador had been so serious when they’d first met. She’d never have expected him to tease her as he now did, or look at her as though she literally meant the world to him.

“Female, when will you learn I am no horse?”

“So you mean to say you couldn’t have sex with me in your centaur form?”

His lips twitched. “Are you asking?”

“Are you crazy?” She shoved his chest. “You forget I’ve seen you excited in that form, I do not wish to be broken, thank you very much.”

“I’d go very gentle with you, my pet.”

She rolled her eyes and patted his cheek. “You’re sweet. But I much prefer the male in my bed.”

“Legs and all?” he asked in all seriousness now.

She understood what he referred to and nodded solemnly. “Yes. Legs and all. I wouldn’t trade you for the world, male.” And then she told him what she’d promised she wouldn’t say until she knew they’d all make it out of her alive. “I love you, Alador, with all my soul.”

Tucking her into his body, he hugged her tight, dropping several kisses to the crown of her head.

Alador loved nuzzling her hair. Probably a centaur thing. Not that she minded. He was always finding reasons to play with it though, braiding it, brushing it. After a while it dawned on her that maybe he might like the same affections back.

She’d been right.

It was definitely a centaur thing.

She latched onto a long swath of his hair and wrapped it around her finger, tugging on it gently. He shivered.

“I love you more than all the stars in the sky, my darling,” he murmured after a while, and she knew he meant it.

Because every day he showed it.

Alador had become her rock in every way. She would be lost without him and couldn’t imagine her life without him in it. She stared at their matching bracelets.

“Alador, what if they banish you?”

The thought of him losing everything weighed more and more heavily on her heart as the days passed. How could she say she loved him and then allow for everything that mattered to him be taken away?

Somehow she’d have to prove to his herd that what they’d done, what they’d chosen had been for love and not lust. That it was pure and right. Just as pure and right as it would have been if he’d decided to pledge himself to a centauress.

Grabbing her hand in his, he brought her palm to his lips and pressed a tender kiss to the horse’s hoof imprint inside of it.

“You are my whole world, Luminesa, that will never change. I made my decision, and there’s no turning back for me.”

“What if we can’t find this key, Alador? What if we are stuck in this purgatory forever?”

“Would that be so bad?” he asked. “We have all that we need here. Food, clothing, shelter, my family.” He rubbed his knuckle along her cheek.

If she were a selfish person she’d agree with him. Goddess she wanted desperately to agree with him.

“The children,” she whispered.

And he inhaled deeply. Alador was a good male. A kind-hearted male who understood that the sacrifice was not theirs to make alone.

“No, I suppose we couldn’t do that to the children.”

“They need their parents, and as fond of them as I am—”

“—we are not their parents,” he agreed with a nod. “You are right as always. Luminesa.”

She clutched his hand, keenly feeling their lack of time. “A week, Alador. Just a week. What if we don’t—”

Shushing her, he lowered his head to hers, breathing in her air as he let her breathe his in. It was probably one of the sexiest things he did with her.

And undeniably reminded her of a horse, though she’d never tell him so.

“We will, sweetheart. We will find that key. I believe in us.”

Squeezing her eyes shut, she prayed to the gods that he was right, but deep down she knew her sensible centaur was acting anything but.

They’d scoured the castle. Three times already. To no avail.

The key, wherever it was, it wasn’t in the castle. She knew that with the same amount of certainty as she knew the sun would rise in the morning.

Settling down against each other, she sought his warmth, watching the images of children sleeping. Nothing left to do now but wait for the demons to attack.

~*~

Alador

Opening his eyes on the morning of their last day here, Alador knew something was horribly wrong with him.

A pain in his chest flared like a sunburst deep inside of him. Wincing, he grabbed at his chest, trying to be silent so as not to wake Luminesa who’d passed out beside him on the mound of hay and fur lined skins.

A few breaths later, the pain began to ebb slowly away and a horrible, insidious feeling bloomed in his gut, hooking like claws deep inside of him so that he couldn’t shake it loose.

For the past several days the pain had haunted him. Growing worse and more severe with each morning.

Not wanting to worry her, he’d said nothing other than to whisper to her that all was well. That they still had time. That they’d find that key.

But Alador didn’t believe that, and he knew she didn’t either. Though she let him lie to her, and would smile and nod. When she wasn’t aware he was looking though, dread would scrawl across her brows and fill her beautiful blue eyes with worry.

Last night the ice demons had fought like hell. Nearly breaching their perimeter, coming at them with such rage and fury that it had felt almost symbolic.

There was no stopping any of this.

The fighting at night. The constant trepidation and unease during the day. What few hours were theirs they treasured with the desperation of a man drowning.

Drinking his fill of her with his eyes, Alador feathered his knuckles across her pale, pale cheeks. So washed out now that he could make out the little blue veins resting just beneath her flesh.

Luminesa wasn’t getting near enough sleep.

Her lashes fluttered open and when she looked up at him with those sleepy bedroom eyes full of love, he felt stripped bare and soul crushed.

How could he leave her now?

He didn’t think a thousand years with her would even begin to be enough to sate his thirst for her.

“Horse.” Frost tipped lashes fluttered as she sleepily blinked up at him.

“Sleep, my love. You’re in desperate need of it. The children and I will search the grounds.”

She shook her head. “It’s not here, Alador. You know that as well as I do. And the children are as exhausted as I am, not even they could sleep through the attack last night. Let them sleep. And come to me.” She held her arms open for him.

He wanted to tell her no, tell her that they weren’t giving up. Not now. Not when there was no more time left.

But maybe it was that lack of time that finally decided him. With a burdened sigh, he laid back down beside her, dragging her slight form into his warmth.

She cuddled into him, a happy smile curving her lips. “I’m not giving up, Alador, though I know that’s what you’re thinking,” she whispered after a moment.

He rubbed his chest, heart beginning to pick up speed again, as that hot flare of pain returned with a vengeance.

Grunting, he cocked his head, breathing slowly through his lips, trying in vain to not let on the amount of pain he was in.

But his skin had grown clammy, and she jerked up, suddenly wide awake and splaying her hands against his. “What’s the matter?”

Fear punched him in the gut. Her fear for him.

It was on the tip of his tongue to deny what it was he was feeling, but it was far too late to pretend this one away.

Heart heavy, he whispered, “I have something to tell you. I haven’t wanted to say anything, because I wasn’t certain until now but—”

The screen displaying the sleeping children suddenly came to life. Kai had his eyes closed and was sleeping peacefully, but Gerda was moaning and groaning in her sleep.

Luminesa frowned, making to stand, but Alador settled a restraining hand against her shoulder. He felt it too, the shudder of evil that’d begun to rove the halls.

“I’ll check on her,” he grunted, holding a hand to his chest as the pain continued to blossom wider and wider, overtaking all of his abdomen now, and even down his arms.

“Alador, you’re hurt. Stop. Do not go. I’ll go.” The whites of her eyes had nearly overtaken her irises. Her fear was a tangible taste on his tongue.

Something foul was coming. A darkness that spread like heated tar all around them, threatening to drown them.

“Stay!” he grunted, dizzy with pain. But he had to protect her, at all costs, he had to protect her.

Her eyes widened at the command in his tone and he knew it was the pain making him so.

Swallowing a jagged breath, he forced himself to a calm he did not at all feel. “Please stay, Luminesa. If something were to happen to you...I do not, I don’t think I could survive it. Please, I’ll only be a few moments.”

Nodding, she rubbed her hands along her arms when he got up and walked out.

~*~

Luminesa

He was a fool if he honestly thought she would stay put. She loved him too much to let him walk into whatever it was happening. And she knew something awful was about to happen. She felt it through every inch of her body.

Luminesa turned back to the screen, watching the girl now moaning and groaning, kicking the sheets down with her feet. And then...

Narrowing her eyes, Luminesa leaned forward, pulse rocketing out of control as she spotted a twinkle of silver float above the child’s head. And then another, and another, and another. More and more silver, whirling like a miniature tornado above her bed, gathering momentum and speed as it curled into a tight spiral.

Foreboding washed over her. A writhing in her stomach of unease like thousands of worms crawling up from the ground.

Cocking her head, she sprung to her feet. Heart banging in her chest, demanding she fly out of there now and find Alador. She ran to the door, tugged on the handle, but it wouldn’t give.

Gasping, she shook her head. And then shivered as a curl of heat drove through the comfortable chill of the room.

Twirling on her heels, she pressed her back against the wall. The Goblin stood before her, his hands crossed behind his back, and grinning wickedly.

“Hello, sweetheart, miss me?”

“You!” She screeched, punched the door with a hammer fist. “Unlock this.”

From the corner of her eye she saw Alador’s shadow cross the floor of Gerda’s bedroom. He was nearly there.

“Oh Gods,” she groaned, knowing what that silver was for, the danger her mate was in.

“Well, well, well, I must say,” the Goblin grinned, “things went rather predicatably.”

“What have you done?” She snapped, nails digging into the palms of her hands so tight she left crescent marks behind.

Whipping out his blade, he proceeded to gently draw the tip of it beneath his claws. “Only what I said I would, my dear. I kept to my word, left you alone until the end. No more tricks.”

Luminesa blasted a sheet of ice at him, but in this place, it was the Goblin and not she who controlled the element. With a sneer, he flicked his wrist, and the spires of ice turned on her, pressing dangerously against the cage of her ribs, right above the spot of her beating heart.

“Tut tut, my love. Manners.”

Trembling with fear and terror for Alador, she shook her head. “Leave them alone.”

“Oh, not to worry. I’d planned to return the children once this was all done. Really I only needed him, the children were nothing more than a distraction.”

Her nostrils flared. “But the deaths. Kai and Gerda...”

Grinning broadly, he revealed a new golden front teeth. “Meant to send you on a wild goose chase, which I must say, succeeded so far beyond my wildest expectations. You two were so consumed with saving them, that you never realized they were completely insignificant.”

Alador stepped into the frame and the moment he did the funnel of silver that’d swirled around Gerda’s head surrounded him, winking sharpened slivers of deadly silver.

Gerda, awake now, jumped to her knees upon the bed, screaming. “I am sorry, Alador, I couldn’t stop it. I couldn’t—”

Her male, her beautiful, brawny, wonderful male stood absolutely still, knowing the danger he was in. There was no protection to be had from the silver.

She shook her head as tears streamed down her cheeks, crystallizing an instant before they hit the floor and shattered into millions of infinitesimal particles.

“Well, let’s end this thing shall we?” The Goblin asked as though bored. Then snapping his fingers, she found herself suddenly transported to Gerda’s landing.

But not just her. Kai was there also. The four of them who’d started this, now forced to finish this together.

The silver still swirled around Alador who gave her a stiff smile. Even now he tried to be so brave.

“Welcome, welcome, one and all,” the Under Goblin bowed, “blah, blah, blah, now let us get down to business shall we, for I loathe the very sight of the four of you and wish you to leave my presence as soon as can be.”

Kai rubbed sleep from his eyes, slow to awaken, staring at what was going on around them with wide-eyed curiosity. Luminesa reached for the child, dragging him tight to her, shielding him from the Goblin as best she could.

The last thing she wanted was for the children to be forever marred by the sight of what the Goblin had planned.

But her eyes were for Alador alone.

And only because she studied him as she was did she spot a look in his eyes that chilled her to the very core of her being.

Grim acceptance.

What had he been about to tell her downstairs?

Oh Goddess.

She shook her head in silent denial even as her brain suddenly clicked all the pieces into place.

The constant and irritating ache in his chest that would sometimes flare at night and in the morning. The way his heart would sometimes beat out of control inside of him.

How he’d sometimes mumble in his sleep, visions of death and destruction.

She’d told him nothing, she hadn’t wanted to worry him, and she knew he’d done the same for her.

He closed his eyes, as though knowing that she’d finally figured it all out.

“Oh my Gods,” she mouthed the words.

But the Goblin had been paying close enough attention to her that he’d seen it.

His cackling laughter echoed down the halls like demon song.

“Please tell me you didn’t do what I think you did,” she pleaded with tears choking her.

“Here’s the thing, my sweetness,” he said, ignoring her question, “I rather enjoyed seeing your struggles this past month. The the ice demons that would hammer away at the castle at night, the random deaths and terrible omens...this is a hell worth keeping around. I will let you have your horse—”

The way he spat the name, like a slur instead of the loving way she used it, made her teeth clench.

“How dare you!” she seethed. “You cannot do this.”

“Oh, not I.” He crossed his arms. “Choice is yours. Keep this heaven on Kingdom if you will, have your mate, rut like beasts, raise these sniveling ‘forever’ children...nothing changes in this place, always you will be frozen in time. Doomed to live each day over and over and over...but together. Which surely counts for something. Or win your freedom by taking his.”

“What have you done!” Alador thundered this time.

He’d been so still; unnaturally silent that Luminesa had feared there was none of the fire left in him that she’d come to love. She almost smiled to hear the passion in his voice now.

Her male started to move forward, but the Goblin held out his hand. “Na uh,” he jerked his chin in Alador’s direction, “one move in my direction and I’ll slam that silver into every square inch of you, instant death.”

“Taking his?” Luminesa was made of ice, but she’d never felt so cold in her life.

Her ears rang and her heart beat an aching melody in her chest.

“Oh, did you think I meant death?” His eyelinered eyes widened, and he patted fingers to his chest, booming laughter eased from between his lips. “Luminesa, the things you say. What you must think of me, woman, I mean really.”  

Moving slowly as she talked, Luminesa finally got her body between the Goblin and the children. The moment she did, Kai tossed himself into Gerda’s arms who was sobbing a heart rending moaning sound behind her.

They might not be the children’s parents, but for a month’s time they’d tended to them as if they were. And in that moment, Luminesa suffered a startling epiphany.

For the first time in her life ever, she knew what it was to have a family. A family she would protect at all costs.

“Killing him is just too easy. Truth is, my love—”

“Do not talk to her thus,” Alador snapped, barring his teeth at the Goblin in a crazed, animalistic manner.

But the terrible tension in his words fazed the Goblin not at all. He merely smiled at her centaur, sure in the knowledge that he held the upper hand.

Which she hated to admit, he did.

In here her powers were limited, and fighting the ice demons every night as she had had drained her further. Luminesa wanted to kick herself for not seeing what he’d done, for not being able to piece it all together sooner.

The Goblin had been brilliant in the simplicity of his plan.

“You found me my mate,” she said it softly, brain clicking everything together.

The Under Goblin turned, beaming down at her like a proud parent. “Took me years to find him. But Baba Yaga’s price hadn’t been much to pay when it all came down to it. I merely had to wait for the colt to grow into a stallion. But patience I have in spades, sweet Queen. And so I waited, waited until every piece was in play and then I made my move.”

Turning her eyes upon Alador she cried, shook her head, and broke as the enormity of what it all meant finally sank in.

“Alador?” His name was a broken whimper on her tongue.

His face crumpled and yet again when he tried to move to her, the silver swirled tighter about him.

The Under Goblin’s grin grew wider.

“Where is the key to your release from this hell, Luminesa?” he asked with a cackle in his voice.

She swallowed, devastation slamming into her so powerfully that it was almost hard to breathe.

“Inside of you,” she whispered it to Alador.

His nostrils flared and then a lone tear trekked down the corner of his eye.

“It’s what you were going to tell me earlier, wasn’t it?”

He nodded.

“When did you figure it out?”

“This morning when I woke, I felt something foreign inside of me.” He tapped his chest, just below the spot of his heart and winced. “I feel it now.”

For once the Goblin remained silent, but he needn’t have said anything anyway. His plan had been flawless, perfect.

She’d been so blinded by her love for him, and her belief that the Under Goblin couldn’t lie and so therefore the key had to have been hidden in the castle.

He’d told her it was just beneath her nose.

She should have known. Dear gods above she should have known.

“Goddess I’m a fool.”

“No.” Alador shook his head. “You are wise beyond your years, my love. Far superior to any centauress anywhere.”

Her breath stuttered as she took a trembly breath. Because this felt an awful lot like he was saying goodbye.

“What happens if I take the key from out of him?” She looked at the Goblin.

He was far more serious now than he’d been, staring between them with the oddest look she could hardly fathom.

“Then you all leave. Returned to your world and your peoples.”

That wasn’t everything and she knew it. Saw it in the thinning of his lips and the way he averted his eyes.

“That’s not everything. Tell me everything, now.”

He didn’t need to. The Goblin held the entire deck of cards. So it shocked her when he said, “His memory is supplanted. The past month, all of it, gone.”

He snapped his fingers. “He’ll forget the truth of everything.”

Luminesa staggered back, feeling as though someone had just shoved a red-hot poker through her heart. Clutching onto the horribly beating thing, she imagined what that meant.

And the fullness of it was a horror too difficult to comprehend.

She would lose her mate.

But maybe she could just woo him back? They were mated now, bonded by souls. Surely that meant something, surely that—

“And before you imagine that you can simply turn the charm back on him and make him fall in love with you once more, the memories he will receive of this past month will make him loathe you. For you see it will be you and not I that tortured the children, you who killed innocent ice maidens, you who tortured them through the night with demons ripped straight from the bowels of hell. All of it. All. Of. It. All you.”

She gasped.

“Don’t believe him, Luminesa!”

Alador called, his voice a desperate cry, but she was so cold and numb and heart sick to her core that she hardly heard him at all.

“We are bound by the truest of magic that no darkness can penetrate.” His words were an urgent cry.

The Under Goblin snarled. “There is another way of course,” he pressed on with a dismissive flick of his wrist in Alador’s direction, “you leave the key inside of him, content to live out eternity trapped inside of here. But really, isn’t this preferable than having the male of your heart hate you forever?”

Tears dripping down her face, Luminesa looked at the children.

Thinking of their parents, of the pain and desolation they must feel never knowing what’d occurred to their little precious ones. Her mind traveled to the deaths, the pain that they’d endured in this place. Yes, there were moments of happiness, when she lay in his arms, when he told her of his great and undying love for her...all those things she remembered, but it was not enough to make her forget the rest.

Ice maidens would suffer eternally. There’d be so much death on their hands, and all for the sake of their love.

“It is not a sacrifice we can make,” Alador whispered, knowing exactly where her thoughts had led. Her beautiful, wonderful male...so perfect for her in everywhere.

Gerda and Kai began to sob quietly and the sound of it broke her.

Chin wobbling, she moved toward Alador, covering her face with her hands as she wept, “How can I endure your hatred of me? I do not think I could handle it.”

“I’ll never hate you, my heart. ‘Tis impossible.”

But she knew his words to be vain lies, the Goblin had thought of everything. He’d fixed every scenario so that even if she won her freedom she still lost.

Either choice was her doom.

He’d won.

And though she thought that maybe the fires of her wrath should be burning hard and heavy in her chest, she was too exhausted for it.

For a month she’d been surrounded by death. Every night losing so many of those nearest and dearest to her...knowing come night the terror and horrors would start all over again.

Luminesa had lost her taste for violence.

All she wanted was to live in peace, secluded from the world with only her lover for company, but even that would be denied them now.

Grabbing her hand, Alador planted it against his chest. And though every other time the silver had buzzed angrily when he’d moved, this time it was as though the spelled fragments understood that victory lay close at hand.

The shards dropped to the ground, harmless, winking almost prettily from the reflection of winter fire.

The Goblin leaned against the corner of Gerda’s bed, legs crossed at the ankles, and wearing a smug smile of satisfaction.

His vengeance complete.

“Withdraw the key,” the Under Goblin said, “and the children shall return to their families unscathed with no memories of what ever happened here.”

Clenching her jaw, she looked back at him. “Will they hate me too?”

“They will not remember you. You will be forgotten by them. Any kindness you shared, warmth, or love...all forgotten like a feather drifting off on a breeze.”

He wiggled his fingers dramatically.

Gerda shook her head. “I don’t want to forget you, Ice Queen. I love you.”

Kai shook his head too. “Me too.”

With tears streaming down her face Luminesa was absolutely broken, a shattered woman. If she were selfish she’d leave the key inside of Alador. But not at the expense of their souls or his.

The children had died once, with a surety it could happen again. No doubt would happen again. This place was no oasis, it was purgatory, the worst form of hell that tortured the mind and played with their emotions.

She looked back at the beloved face of her horse. “I love you, Alador, with all my soul and heart.”

His knuckles brushed against the tender flesh of her cheek, causing her to tremble. Had she known this morning would be all they had left, she’d have said so many other things. She’d have taken the time to imprint herself upon his soul so that no amount of dark magick could ever shake her out of it.

“And I you, my lady of the snow. Always.”

Then tipping her chin up, he planted the sweetest, softest kiss upon her lips and it wasn’t fair that she tasted forever on them, because in just a few moments, there’d be no forever for her.

Just misery.

“Find me again, Luminesa. Do not let me go. Never stop searching for me, come back for me, Luminesa...come back for me.” He punctuated each word with a hard thump of their twined hands against his chest.

His eyes were wide and full of entreaty.

She loved him so much. The thought of losing him this way...it was killing her.

Then tugging the bracelet free of his wrist he handed it to her. “Keep this. And when you come for me, show it to me. The magic of my people rests within these charms, even if I don’t know you, I’ll feel it. Do you understand me?”

The Goblin chuckled. “Ah, the plight of the hopeless. What fun.”

Luminesa wanted to cut his tongue out and feed it to the ice demons. But it wasn’t worth losing even one precious minute of her time with Alador.

Taking the bracelet from him, she slipped it high on her bicep. The weight of it settled warmly against her.

Alador turned his palm over. The snowflake pattern that’d appeared upon their joining was now gone.

She flipped her hand over. The tiny horse hoof marking was still there. Bringing her hand to his lips, he pressed an ardent kiss upon it.

“Do it now, Luminesa, before I lose my nerve.”

With a cry of pain, she forced herself to do what she did not want to do. Luminesa turned her hand to ice and shoved it through the side of his chest, her fingers curling immediately around a cold piece of metal.

Alador cried out, crumpling to his knees.

And then she yanked the key free.