Rae

 

Rae Sullivan always wanted to be a dancer. Since she was a little girl, dancing was all she dreamed about. She spent day after day in a dance studio, practicing and perfecting her skills. Nothing else in the world came close to dancing. It was where she found her peace.

Her parent’s had insisted that while being a dancer was a great thing, they felt Rae should get a qualification just to be sure she had a backup plan.

It turned out; she loved English, almost as much as she loved dancing.

The first classic she read was Little Women. Rae fell madly in love with Laurie, only to have her heart broken when he married Amy instead of Jo. However, when she met Heathcliff on the moors in Wuthering Heights, her heart was lost forever. Not even Mr. Darcy could steal it away. And so her love affair with literature began.

When Rae met Dean McCabe, she thought she had finally met her Heathcliff. They met at Trinity College, where she was studying English, and he was studying Science.

Dean was perfect. He was tall, with broad shoulders, dark hair, ice blue eyes, and olive skin. He was like something from a movie. Plus, he was smart. They could talk for hours about anything, and Rae never grew tired of listening to him. He was perfect. Too perfect.

The first time he hit her, it wasn’t really a slap, more of a push. They had this ridiculous fight about Rae dancing. He didn’t like the costume she was wearing for a show that was on in college. She told him that he was being ridiculous, so he pushed her, sending her crashing to the floor. She banged her head on a table and ended up needing four stitches.

Dean was so devastated that he had hurt Rae. Her heart broke as he sobbed and begged her to give him another chance. Her head told her not to, but in her heart, she wanted to believe he was sorry, so she agreed to try again.

And that’s how it went. At first, it was mostly verbal abuse. He hated what she wore. He would say she dressed like a cheap slut. Little by little, he chipped away at her confidence. He also hated her friends, and bit by bit he made her cut ties with each and every one of them. Then the verbal abuse turned into a few more shoves until one night he slapped her. Rae was so stunned; she wasn’t sure if it had actually happened. She told him to go to hell, and she stormed out of his apartment and swore she would never give him the chance to do that to her again.

However, after two weeks of calls, flowers, and promises that it would never happen again, she took him back; and the time after that too.

It was when he hit her for the third time that her dad found out. It had started over nothing really, but then that was usually the case. He came to see her in the dance studio she was practicing in because he wanted her to go out with his friends. Rae said she had to practise her routine for an upcoming show, then she needed to go home to study for finals. He said Rae cared more about her dancing and books than she did about him. That’s when the first punch landed.

He sent her crashing to the ground, where he followed through with a kick to the ribs. Rae could feel all the air rush from her body, and her lungs burned from lack of oxygen. She tried to gasp, but it was like her body had forgotten how to work. Before she had time to process what was happening, another sharp blow to the side came, then another.

Rae could hear him shouting, but she had no idea what he was saying. The only thought her mind could form was, “Please let this be over!”

When she woke up in the hospital, her parents were beside her bed. Rae couldn’t even bring herself to look at them. The shame she felt was consuming, and tears quickly pooled in her eyes.

“It’s okay, Rachel,” her father’s voice whispered softly, and Rae could feel him take her hand in his. “You’re safe, Sweetheart. No one will hurt you again.”

“Who did this to you, love,” her mother asked, with tears dancing in her eyes.

Rae went to speak, but every part of her body ached. She closed her eyes and tried to breathe.

“She shouldn’t try to talk, Beth,” her dad said as he gave her hand a squeeze. “It’s okay Rachel. You don’t have to say a word. We know what happened, and he will never hurt you again. The police have arrested him, and he will never put a hand on you again. I will kill him if I ever see him.”

Rae could feel the hot, burning tears, sting her eyes. She was so embarrassed that she had allowed this to happen. Again, she tried to speak, but the pain was too much, and she passed out.

It turned out; Rae had a broken jaw, four broken ribs and a collapsed lung, a fracture to her wrist, and she had a concussion. She needed a couple of operations to repair both her wrist and her jaw.

It took her several months to recover fully, but when she did, she returned to college the following year and finished her English degree. Rae graduated from Trinity with first class honors.

As for dancing? After what happened with Dean, Rae lost all her confidence. Every time she tried to get back into it, the words he had screamed at her while he beat her, ran around her head as she danced. In the end, it became too hard, and Rae never danced again.

After college, Rae had decided she needed a fresh start. It broke her heart to leave her family, but she knew it was the right thing for her. She started off in New York, but she couldn’t seem to settle. Next, she headed to Boston, and even though she loved it there; it wasn’t long before she began to feel restless once more. So she was on the move once again, and this time Rae found herself in San Francisco.

That’s where she met Daisy, and instantly they became best friends. They decided to rent an apartment together, and finally, Rae felt like she had found where she belonged.

Daisy was so different to Rae, yet they just seemed to gel well together. Daisy was small, with tight shocking pink hair, piercings, and many tattoos. She was a free spirit and everything Rae wasn’t.  Rae, or Rachel as her father insisted on calling her, grew up in a loving Catholic family. She was tall, though not too tall with long dark hair and piercing green eyes.  Though she loved clothes, she always wore things that hid her body, a side effect of her life with Dean. Rae was more reserved than Daisy, but despite their differences, they were best friends.

That was three years ago.

Rae worked as a substitute English teacher, moving from school to school. She liked the freedom that came with being a substitute. It meant she didn’t ever get that feeling of restlessness she had gotten in the past.

And that was how she had ended up standing there, staring up at the brown edifice that was Saint Michael’s. It was a three-story, historic looking building; that was filled with so much character and charm that Rae fell in love with it, if in fact, you could fall in love with a building, the moment she saw it.

“Are you lost?” A friendly, middle-aged woman asked, as she stopped beside her.

“N…no,” Rae replied, surprised to see the woman staring at her. “Sorry, I was just looking at this beautiful building. It really is quite breathtaking.”

“It’s great isn’t it,” the woman said as she too looked up at the building with an air of pride. “I never get tired of coming here every day. Perks of the job.”

“You work here?” Rae asked giving her a questioning look.

“I’m sorry,” the woman replied giving her a broad smile. “I’m Liz Summers. I’m the deputy principle here at Saint Mike’s.”

“Oh wow,” Rae replied, feeling more than a little embarrassed that she had no idea who the woman was. “I’m Rae Sullivan. I’m your new substitute English teacher.”

“It’s lovely to meet you,” Liz said as she offered Rae her hand. “Welcome to Saint Mike’s.”

“Thank you for having me,” she replied, feeling somewhat relieved that her new boss seemed friendly and welcoming, and completely different to what she was expecting.

As a rule, Rae avoided Catholic schools. She found them to be far too strict and prohibiting. Not that she thought rules were necessarily a bad thing. Rae just didn’t really do the whole, holy Catholic thing, which she guessed was somewhat ironic having grown up in Ireland, in a devout Catholic family. She just didn’t do the God thing, much to her mother’s horror.

Every Sunday morning she was dragged, quite often, kicking and screaming to church, and she detested every moment. On the day of her eighteenth birthday, Rae’s father told her it was up to her now if she wanted to continue to go to church. He said that she was an adult now, and it was her choice.

 Rae chose never to go back.

She had no idea why she felt the way she did. Maybe it went back to when her grandmother died. She was just eight years old, but she clearly remembered her mother praying to God over and over not to take her grandmother. But he took her anyway, and Rae’s mom was beyond devastated. Rae remembered thinking, if god was real, why would he let her mother be so sad. After that, she didn’t really believe in praying and everything else that came with religion.

“How about I show you to the office?” Liz asked as she made her way up the front steps of the building, and Rae followed her closely.

Inside the building, it was just as beautiful as the outside had been. It was old and full of character, yet there was a modern charm to it too. Rae couldn’t put her finger on why, but she knew something about Saint Mike’s was special.

Liz led her through the crowded hallways, to the facility offices at the far end. As Rae pushed through the crowd, she found the noise of the hallway familiar and somewhat comforting. No matter what school she was sent to work in, one thing remained constant. The excited chatter of hormone filled teenagers, the slamming of locker door after locker door; the overwhelming smell of perfume and sweat. It was the same no matter what school it was, and she found it made her feel settled and at ease.

When they reached the office, it too was just as busy as the hallway. Students and teachers were coming and going. Phones were ringing, filing cabinets were opening and closing. Yes, Saint Michael’s was a busy school.

“Father Stannis,” Liz called out and an older, gray-haired man emerged from one of the doorways. “I found our new English teacher.”

“You’re Ray Sullivan?” The man asked looking at Rae with a look of confusion on his face. “I thought you were…well, I thought you would be a he, not she.”

“It happens a lot,” Rae laughed. “Rae is short for Rachel, but the only person that calls me that is my dad.”

“And Irish too, I see,” the man added with a smile. “I spent some years in Ireland as a young priest. Newbridge, County Kildare.”

“I know it well, Father,” she replied. “Though I’m from Dublin, myself.”

“Well, welcome to Saint Mike’s,” he said offering her his hand. “It’s a pleasure to have you here; and please, call me Stan.”

“Okay,” she nodded, feeling more than relieved that working here at Saint Michael’s might not turn out to be the nightmare she thought it was going to be.

“Mrs. Graham will give you your class schedule and student list,” Father Stan said as he led her to the front desk in the office. “The classes are easy enough to follow. They are laid out numerically so, just follow the numbers, and if you need anything else, you know where my office is, and if I’m not about, any member of staff will be more than happy to help. I’m just getting ready for a meeting, but I will catch up with you later today.”

“Thank you,” Rae said, feeling genuinely happy to be there. He gave her one last smile, and a nod before he turned at headed back into his office.

Mrs. Graham, the school secretary, was a lot older than Father Stan, and she had a warm, welcoming face, that seemed to light up when she smiled.

“Your first class is in about fifteen minutes,” she explained to Rae as she handed her all the paperwork she needed. You have a cubby hole over there on the back wall that will have your name on it. I will put your name on it now for you, and store whatever else you might need in there. If there is anything else you need, just give me a holler. I’m usually here before everyone, and often the last to leave, so I am always about somewhere.”

“Good to know,” Rae replied. She liked this lady. She was warm and friendly. In some ways she almost reminded her of her grandmother or Nana as Rae liked to call her. She was just as warm and welcoming as Mrs. Graham seemed to be.

“Lucas Mackenzie!” She called out suddenly, as she looked past Rae at a young boy who was just about to leave the office. “This is our new teacher; I want you to show Ms. Sullivan where class six is for me.”

“Yes, Mrs. Graham,” the boy replied and gave the old woman a warm smile before he looked at Rae expectantly.

“Thank you, Mrs. Graham,” she said as she picked up her bag from the floor, and turned towards the door.

“Anytime, Dear,” Mrs. Graham called after her. “And call me Anna.”

She turned to look back at her and just as she did, she collided with what felt like the wall, knocking her backward, almost sending her to the floor.

Suddenly, two strong hands grasped her arms and held her tightly till she steadied herself.

“I’m so sorry,” the wall said, still holding her arms. She looked up, and her eyes met two chocolate coloured pools of perfection staring back at her. She froze for a moment.

 “It was my fault,” Rae finally replied and blushed because she realised she had been staring straight at him. “I wasn’t watching where I was going.”

“As long as you’re sure you’re alright,” he said with a laugh.

“Yep,” she replied going for positive but sounding overly peppy.

“Okay,” he laughed again as he held out his hand to her. “I’m A.J by the way.”

“Rae,” she said and shook his hand.

“A.J,” Anna said from behind the reception desk. “Rae is our new English teacher.”

“Welcome to the team,” A.J smiled and bent down to pick up some of the things she had dropped when they collided. “I think these belong to you.”

“Thanks,” Rae said as she took her belongings from him. A.J stepped out of the way and allowed Rae to pass. With one more smile, she stepped forward and headed out the door, following the kid to her first class of the day.

What the hell was that? She thought to herself as she walked along the hallway, feeling a little embarrassed that she had acted all stupid and girlie. She had no intentions of starting anything with some guy that she worked with. That was the one golden rule she always stuck to.

When she reached her first class, she took a deep breath and straightened up. Now she needed to focus on the job at hand and nothing else.

She walked into the noisy classroom, straight to the front of the class. Thirty pairs of eyes turned to her as a hush fell over the class.

“Good morning,” she said as she looked around at the collection of fifteen-year-olds sitting there watching her. “I’m Ms. Sullivan. I’m here to cover for Ms. Reynolds who as you know is gone on maternity leave. So we are going to be together for the next few months.”

There were a few whispers, and a couple of wolf whistles, followed by some laughter.

“While I am grateful for the sentiment,” Rae said with a laugh. “I think it’s time to get down to business. How about we go around the room, and introduce yourselves. Then we can get on with some Charles Dickens.”

Rae found a quiet corner of the quad and sat down. It had been a good morning, but now she was tired. She always found the first day in a new school completely exhausting.

She reached into her bag and pulled out an apple, deciding that she wasn’t really in the mood for her sandwiches. Biting into her apple, she closed her eyes and let the warm, midday sun wash over her face.

“May I?” A familiar voice said from beside Rae. She quickly opened her eyes, and her face instantly flushed with embarrassment when she saw A.J standing there, giving her a curious look.

“Of course,” Rae blurted out, as she quickly reached for her bag, and picked it up from the bench next to her.

A.J sat down, but didn’t say a word for what felt like the longest two minutes in the history of time.

“I like this spot, too,” A.J said as he pulled a chocolate bar from his pocket. “I don’t know why, but things always seem calm here.”

“I like this spot, too,” Rae said, then cringed at the fact she had just repeated what he had said. “I mean, I like it here.”

“In this spot, or at Saint Mike’s?” A.J replied with a chuckle and Rae’s face burned hotter. She wished the ground would open and swallow her whole.

He is laughing at me! She thought to herself in disbelief. What a dick!

“I’m sorry,” A.J said quickly, clearly picking up on her discomfort. “I was trying to be funny, and clearly I’m really not funny at all.”

“It’s okay,” Rae shrugged as she returned her attention to her apple.

“Is that all you’re having for your lunch?” A.J asked, just as Rae was about to take another bite of the apple.

“I’m not really hungry,” Rae said as she turned back to A.J once more.

“But it’s not much of a lunch,” he replied.

“It’s better for you than a chocolate bar,” Rae shot back, and A.J smiled once more. “And far more delicious.”

“Is that what Eve said to Adam?” A.J asked as his smile widened.

“I wouldn’t know,” Rae laughed. “I wasn’t there.”

A.J threw his head back and laughed, and Rae felt pleased she had made him laugh.

“Still,” A.J chuckled as he tore open his chocolate bar, and broke it in two. He held one half out to Rae and gave her a stunning smile. “I still think my chocolate bar wins.”

Rae looked down at the piece of chocolate in his hand and her stomach growled. She wanted to tell him no, but she could already taste the chocolate, and before she could even think she reached up and took it from his hand.

When she bit into the chocolate, a feeling of complete contentment washed over her and once more she smiled.

“I told you my chocolate bar wins,” he said, giving her a cocky grin, and Rae had no idea what to think of this man before her. Suddenly he reached out and softly rubbed his thumb along Rae’s bottom lip and she froze.

“What are you doing?” She asked as her heart hammered in her chest.

“You have chocolate on your lip,” he said as he pulled his hand away, then without hesitating, he brought his thumb to his mouth and sucked the chocolate off it.

Rae could hear her heart drumming loudly in her ears as she watched him suck his thumb.

Suddenly the bell rang, and Rae jumped with fright.

“I should be going,” she exclaimed and she quickly stood up as grabbed her bag. “Thanks for the chocolate.”

Before A.J could even respond, Rae turned and hurried across the quad, back towards the safety of her classroom. What the hell had just happened?