I drove to the hospital to pick Edgar up. He had been there for three days, and they said he could go home today. I’d visited him every day, even staying the night in his hospital room the first night, unable to leave him. The doctor had said the gunshot, which hit his right arm, avoided any major veins and that with time and probably minor physical therapy, he’d have full use of his arm again. I was so relieved to hear that verdict that I started crying right in front of the doctor.

I hadn’t been sleeping well, having nightmares every night about Mr. Coleman. I kept seeing him aim the gun at Edgar, and it still scared the shit out of me. In the dream, that’s usually when I would wake up. It’s a shame I missed the next part where I slammed a lamp into Mr. Coleman’s head, as that was oddly satisfying after he tried to kill Edgar. I knew I just had to be patient and wait for the nightmares to pass. Trying to look nice for Edgar, I had applied some concealer that I hoped would disguise the dark circles under my eyes. Despite being exhausted, I was elated that Edgar was doing well enough to leave the hospital.

I was also scared to see Edgar. The last few days when I visited him in the hospital we got along well, the iciness between us thawed, but we didn’t talk about Mr. Coleman and what happened that day. Edgar never brought it up and I was afraid that he was trying to find a kind way to tell me that he doesn’t love me. After what he told me about Molly, I wasn’t sure he’d ever let himself love someone again. I didn’t want to hear him say that to me, but I tried to convince myself that I could make up some excuse for saying that I loved him. I could tell him I was afraid he was dying, and that’s the only reason I told him I loved him. Obviously, that wasn’t the truth, but I could tell him that. I hadn’t meant to say that I loved him, but as soon as the words had slipped from my lips, I knew they were true. I hadn’t known Edgar long, but I felt more love for him than any man I had ever been with. When he was shot, I was terrified that I might lose him.

When I got to Edgar’s room in the hospital, he was already dressed and waiting for me. I hesitated before stepping into his room.

“Your chariot awaits,” I told him as I walked in.

Edgar was sitting in a chair in the corner and rose when he saw me. He was wearing a sling, but otherwise looked good. Who was I kidding? He looked amazing and so damn sexy. He was wearing jeans and a polo shirt, and I could see his lean, muscular arms, at least his left arm, as his right was in the sling. His dark hair looked badly combed and he had three-day stubble on his face, but it actually gave him a ruggedly sexy look. When he looked at me, I was pierced by the intensity of his amber eyes. I had to remind myself that he couldn’t love me. That thought hurt so much I could feel an actual pain.

“I guess that makes you my knight in shining armor,” Edgar said, giving me a smile. My heart fluttered at his smile. He’s just being polite, I chided myself. Nothing more.

“Thanks for picking me up,” Edgar said as he stood and came towards me.

“Least I could do, considering you saved my life.” Edgar was standing so close to me, I could smell him. He smelled slightly like hospital disinfectant, but mostly that familiar woodsy smell that I loved. It was intoxicating. Briefly, I wondered if he’d lean down and kiss me. Instead, he headed out the door and I followed, trying not to feel disappointed.

  When we exited the hospital, I led Edgar to my car and helped him in. He said he didn’t need the help, but he was still getting used to the sling. Once in the car, I started driving. We sat in silence for a few minutes—I was too nervous to say anything. But I suddenly realized I was driving to the office.

“Shoot Edgar, I don’t know where you live,” I confessed.

“So then where are you taking me?” he asked, but his lip was quirked in an amused smile.

“I’ve been driving to the office,” I confessed, blushing at my mistake.

“That’s perfect. Let’s go there. I have a lot of work to catch up on.”

“Are you serious?” I asked, incredulously.

“Completely serious. I’ve missed days of work.”

“Oh no you don’t,” I said, stopping his plan. “You just got out of the hospital for a gunshot wound. You are not going straight back to work. You need to take some time off and rest. We’re going to your house and you’re going to rest,” I said in a voice that I hoped would broker no argument, though it was Edgar I was talking to.

“But my clients,” Edgar tried to argue, but I cut him off.

“Your clients are doing fine. I’ve been in the office every day while you were in the hospital, and I’ve let them know you were shot, and that there will be a short delay in all the spying work.” At the word spying, Edgar flashed me a worried look. I think he was wondering if I was still mad about David. I moved on quickly. “And I’ve taken care of any of the administrative needs of the office while you were out. There is nothing so urgent there that you can’t take a few more days off. Besides, getting shot on the job has totally impressed clients with your commitment to your work. It will probably even drum up extra business. You know there was an article in the paper.” I realized I was getting nervous and starting to ramble.

“Fine, I give up. You win. I’ll go home and rest like a good little boy.” I snickered at that and Edgar gave me another smile as he let me know his address. I redirected my course to his home.

I pulled up to his home, and immediately loved it. It was by no means grand, but there was an elegance to it. It was down a long driveway, making the place secluded from the other homes in the area. I pulled up to an old colonial style home, with cool gray stonework on the exterior. An elegant old wrought iron gate enclosed the yard, which was a mess of trees, flowers and overgrown grass, a wild beauty that reminded me of Edgar.

“Welcome home,” I said, not sure what else to say. There was so much I wanted to tell him. I wanted to say that I meant it when I said I loved him. I wanted to tell him that even if he made a mistake, a terrible, stupid mistake, it didn’t mean he deserved a life without love. But I was so afraid that he wouldn’t, that he couldn’t, reciprocate my feelings. After David’s betrayal, I wasn’t sure I could allow myself to be hurt again.

“Thank you, for the ride,” Edgar said, but he didn’t move to get out of the car.

“Of course.” I sat awkwardly, suddenly afraid to look at him.

“Look, about what I did . . .” Edgar started.

“Thank you,” I said quickly, still unable to look at him. “You really did save my life.”

“Not that,” Edgar said. “I meant what I did . . . to get the photo of David.”

I suddenly felt super nervous. My palms felt sweaty on the steering wheel, which I hadn’t let go of even though I’d parked the car. I finally looked over at him. His amber eyes were concerned and wary, as if he was afraid of what I might say next. Carefully, I took a breath.

“Thank you for that too.”

“What?” he asked, startled. “I was going to say I was sorry. I should have never done it without your permission.”

“No, you did the right thing. It hurt like hell to see that photo, but I was really mad at David, not you. I shouldn’t have yelled at you that day. You ultimately saved my heart. I should be with someone who actually wants to be with me. And just me,” I added.

The worry drained from Edgar’s face, and the half-smirk I loved so much quirked up at his lips. His eyes were warm and he looked happier than I’d seen him.

“Would you like to come in?” he asked.

“Yes.”