Chapter Ten
Owen was surprised when Carrie turned up at the house in the early hours of Monday morning given she wasn’t supposed to be home until much later. She and Lachlan had spent the day together yesterday but if Carrie had had a choice, she’d have come home the morning after the restaurant. Being in the city with the people and the familiarities she’d known before, she felt under enormous pressure to get her life back to where it had once been. And the more she was pushed, the more she panicked and realised it may never be the same. In the end she’d used the excuse with Lachlan that she wanted to get back to the house before going to her nannying job because Owen needed her to confirm he’d purchased the right toilet unit before he installed it.
‘Is there no end to the man’s talent?’ Lachlan had asked, turning over in bed. He had a rare late start and always made the most of the lie-in.
Carrie kissed him on the lips and assured him, again, that their friendship was platonic. ‘Anyway,’ she said, ‘who wants to get it on with the man looking after their drainage systems?’
He laughed and pulled her in for more of a kiss before she made her excuses again and left.
Owen looked at the mess in the hallway now and then back at Carrie. ‘You’re early.’
Carrie kept hold of her overnight bag and tiptoed over the dust and debris. ‘Don’t worry, I’ll dump my bag and then I’m off to Little Miss Maria.’
‘I hope you don’t need to use the toilet,’ he called up the stairs. ‘It’s not exactly fully functioning yet.’
She reappeared without even peeking into the bathroom. ‘No need to explain, but it will be ready tonight won’t it?’
He nodded. ‘The bath is in, not the shower – that’ll need someone more expert than me to do the frame, so the fitter is coming to do that in the morning. And the toilet should be done in the next hour or so. Same goes for the new en suite in the spare room.’
‘That’s great. And thanks again for working on a weekend.’
‘No worries. I couldn’t rip out the bathroom while you were here so it worked out well.’
‘I hope Rosie doesn’t mind how much I commandeer your time.’
He picked up some peculiar-looking black piping to take upstairs. ‘Rosie knows the deal. I’ve always been like this. Crazy busy for a few weeks, even busier during bushfire season, and then there’s a lull. She’s waiting for the lull.’
‘Let’s hope you have a big lull when the baby comes,’ Carrie smiled. ‘Are you excited?’ Ridiculous question, she could tell he was.
‘I can’t wait. You know, I never thought I’d be a dad. I don’t know why. I mean, when we were together, you and me, if someone had suggested it we would’ve laughed at them.’
‘Damn right. You with your motorbike, zipping here, there and everywhere, not letting a woman stay with you for the night.’ She tutted, teasing him. ‘Who would’ve thought?’
Funny how life could change when you least expected.
*
Carrie’s week with Maria went well despite the baby’s snuffles and low-grade temperature. Now that they were into April, the sun did its best to warm them but a chill had crept in and Carrie had taken to walking with the pram laden with blankets ready to bundle around Maria if she felt the cold.
Carrie hadn’t seen much of Noah all week. He arrived early and left early, meaning their paths didn’t tend to cross. If she did see him he’d smile and wave, remain well-mannered, but since she’d more or less told him to keep his nose out of her business, she couldn’t help feeling he was giving her a wide berth. And who could blame him really?
The annual Easter egg hunt at Magnolia House took place and Carrie went along with the girls, Abby in tow. Carrie had nabbed a basket from Andrew and been just as enthused hunting for eggs as three-, four- and five-year-olds were, never mind the grown adults. She still had a collection of mini eggs now and had set them on the kitchen windowsill, telling Owen to help himself, please, so she didn’t finish them all up herself.
The baby cuddling was well under way and on Friday the first training session came around. Carrie had scheduled all four of the Magnolia Girls for this one because it meant she could be thorough with her feedback and they would likely give fully honest opinions so she could tailor anything in the training that wasn’t clear enough. Bella, Rosie and Gemma congregated in the reception area of the hospital and were soon shown through to the room where the nurse educator would start the training. They were taught ways to hold and settle babies, found out about the medical side of things that Carrie mostly knew but got to see from the layman’s point of view, and by the end of the session the girls were in good spirits.
‘What did you think?’ Carrie asked them all as they gathered in the canteen afterwards. They’d scheduled a post-training Magnolia Girls’ night at the chocolaterie tonight and Carrie wanted to get the formalities out of the way now so she could relax with these women who were becoming better friends with every passing day.
‘I was impressed,’ said Bella. ‘She was friendly, told us all we needed to know but not so much that we’d be scared off and run in the opposite direction.’
Carrie smiled. ‘It can be confronting to see and hear about babies who are so sick.’
‘I thought the use of videos was helpful,’ added Rosie. ‘And it was better than having us all stand and gawp at a real patient. I think it’s good we got to understand more about the sort of babies who need our help.’
‘That’s exactly right,’ Carrie agreed. ‘That’s the whole point of the cuddling program. You are helping and it’s fundamental to understand how you can make a difference. How did you feel, Gemma?’ She was concerned about the fourth member of the group, who’d been quiet for a while.
Gemma’s eyes filled with tears. ‘They’re so innocent, so tiny. I can’t even fathom how any mother can take drugs while pregnant.’
‘It’s only in a few cases,’ Rosie comforted her friend.
‘I know.’ Gemma shook her head. ‘But it’s still unimaginable.’ She looked at the floor.
Carrie knew it would get to someone but her money would’ve been on Rosie, attuned to impending motherhood in a way the other two weren’t. ‘Those mothers you’re referring to are addicted. It’s hard to understand, I know.’ She put a hand on Gemma’s arm. She knew of Gemma’s struggle to have her own baby, which probably heightened her sensitivity to the issue. ‘The important thing is that the baby-cuddling program is about the babies themselves, regardless of why they need holding. Sometimes you may be cuddling a baby and not know much about them; other times you may see parents and they’ll tell you as much as they want to.’
Gemma wiped her eyes. ‘I’m not being very helpful with feedback, am I?’
Carrie put a hand on her arm. ‘Nonsense. Every bit of feedback is important.’
‘I was impressed with the training on how to settle a baby,’ Gemma added more positively. ‘A big tick for that, because I think a lot of people signing up think all they have to do is pick the baby up and, as if by magic, it’ll quieten and sleep.’
‘Yes, not quite as easy in some cases. Many babies are difficult to pacify but once they’re settled, believe me, it’s such a reward.’ She squeezed Gemma’s arm.
‘You know, from the moment I got Abby I put my arms around her and couldn’t believe how lucky I was. But we had some terrible nights with her in the beginning.’
Bella smiled kindly at her friend. ‘You’ve done a good job there, you’re a great mother.’
Rosie agreed. ‘I’m expecting lots of tips from you when my little one arrives. And you, Bella, you’re a natural.’
‘I’m not a mother, but I think loving babies helps a lot.’ She beamed. ‘So, when can we get started?’
Carrie gathered up the feedback forms they’d completed and to which she’d added extra comments. ‘Very soon. We’ve got the security checks to run through and in the next couple of weeks, look out for the Magnolia Girls!’
A collective cheer went up before they realised they were probably too lively for the hospital environment and went on their way.
*
Carrie bumped into Noah, literally, as she went round the back of the house. Owen had blocked the front door with tools and another tradesman had been there all day helping with the bathroom and the extras that Owen couldn’t manage on his own.
‘Oh, man, sorry,’ Noah gasped. Carrying a shrub, he’d bumped into Carrie and now she had mud all up the front of her white shirt. ‘I didn’t see you coming. You usually go in the front.’
She began to brush the front of her shirt but realised it was futile. If anything, it seemed to be spreading the dirt further. ‘No worries, it’ll wash.’ Her tiredness made her sound more peeved than she really was and he retreated quickly enough. She opened her mouth to ask how his leg and wrist were but she’d noticed there was no dressing anymore so she suspected he was fine. She looked around for any sign of Norma but when there wasn’t any she went inside.
Owen came through to the kitchen and noticed her shirt but she shrugged, said it would wash, and asked if she could get upstairs to grab a change of clothes at least.
‘I’m sorry. I thought we’d be finished by now but we’ve a little way to go.’ He wiped sweat from his brow. ‘Everything seems to take longer than you think. The new kitchen sink is in’ – he nodded in its direction – ‘so that’s something.’
Carrie looked back over her shoulder, feeling guilty at all his hard work that she hadn’t even commented on. ‘It looks great. And so does the cabinetry.’ She grinned when she noticed the empty bowl on the windowsill. ‘And thank you for finally finishing up the Easter eggs.’
‘Happy to oblige.’ He patted his taut stomach beneath his T-shirt. ‘The tiler is booked for Thursday and Friday, is that OK?’
‘All sounds good to me.’
‘How did the session at the hospital go? Rosie wasn’t too freaked out thinking about helpless babies, was she?’
‘Rosie was actually fine. Gemma was a bit shocked at some of the cases we talked about, but the training went down well and we’ll be able to start soon.’
She decided it was best to leave him to it. ‘Do you think Rosie would let me have a shower at your place?’ she asked.
‘Be my guest. She won’t mind at all.’
‘Great, I’ll grab a change of clothes.’ She went up the stairs as Owen returned to work on the bathroom. She found a clean pair of jeans and a long-sleeved top plus her denim jacket and stuffed them in the overnight bag. She grabbed her towel and washbag, which had been put in the bedroom out of the way.
‘Come and take a look.’ Owen beckoned from the other side of the door.
She went in and smiled. ‘Wow, I am going to like relaxing in that!’ She knew now without a doubt that she’d selected the best bathtub. ‘And you’ve put a shelf in behind!’
‘I hope you don’t mind but I thought an inset shelf would be useful.’
‘You have great taste. It’ll be the perfect place to put all my fancy bubble baths.’
‘I’m glad you’re happy with it. But don’t tell Rosie. I didn’t do an inset shelf at Rosie Cottage and something tells me she’ll see this and want one.’
‘Well, female solidarity and all that…I’m afraid I may have to. She did, after all, tell me about the window seat for the bedroom.’
He grinned. ‘Go on, leave us to get on and you’ll be able to admire this a bit more tonight when you’re home.’ He took out his phone. ‘I’ll text Rosie, tell her you’re on your way. And have a great time with the girls.’
The Girls. His words sounded so normal but Carrie couldn’t stop smiling, both inside and out. She walked down the hill and onto Main Street, turned right, nodded a hello to Gus, who was on his way to the fire station, and then took a right again into Lakeside Lane. She waved at Michael and Jane Harrison, who drove past her on their way off somewhere, and went on to Rosie Cottage, where Rosie welcomed her in and not only plonked freshly laundered towels in her arms, insisting she use those instead of her own, but also made her a quick omelette for dinner as she figured Carrie was relying on too many instant meals with her house in a shambles.
‘Don’t ask,’ said Carrie when Rosie clocked the dirty white shirt. ‘Run in with a gardener.’
‘Oh, do tell me more,’ Rosie called after her.
‘Nothing to tell,’ she shouted back, closing the bathroom door behind her.
Once they were ready and Carrie had dried her hair, grateful for the warmth of this house compared to her own that was starting to feel the autumn chill if you weren’t working hard, they made their way down the hill and into Magnolia Creek. They called out a hello to Chris, who was collecting glasses from the picnic tables outside the pub, and greeted Mal, who was closing up the gift shop for the day, and when Andrew let them into the chocolaterie and told them to go upstairs to find Gemma, Carrie told Rosie to go on ahead as she wanted to check out the chocolates.
Once Rosie went on her way, Carrie spoke with Andrew after he brought the chalkboard in from the pavement and left it tucked inside the doorway ready to have its message altered; at present it detailed ice-cream flavours and the latest creations but soon hot-chocolate season would be upon them and she bet Andrew already had plans for some delicious changes.
‘Is Gemma OK?’ she asked.
‘I assume you mean after being a bit delicate this afternoon?’ He turned the sign on the door to Closed.
‘The details of patients can be distressing.’
He checked out the back to make sure Gemma was definitely upstairs.
‘I’m sorry.’ Carrie looked at her watch. ‘I know I’m a little early.’
Andrew dismissed her concern. ‘It’s not that, it’s just that I wouldn’t want Gemma to think I’m gossiping, even though she’d probably tell you what I’m about to tell you herself if she were here. Gemma told you we adopted Abby,’ he began, ‘but I don’t think she told you why Abby isn’t with her biological parents.’
‘No, she hasn’t said a word.’
‘Abby’s mother was a drug addict. Abby was neglected for a long time, left in her cot for hours on end and was taken away from her mother when a neighbour reported her to the police for leaving Abby alone most of the night while she went out to get her next fix.’
Carrie gasped although she’d heard far worse in her job. She guessed it was all the more poignant when it was part of the life of someone you knew personally. ‘No wonder Gemma found it difficult today.’
‘Keep an eye on her for me, won’t you?’ he asked when they heard footsteps coming down the stairs.
‘Of course I will.’ She smiled at him and went to answer the door to Bella, the final Magnolia Girl to arrive for their night of fizz and chocolate.
After hot chocolates upstairs on the veranda, beneath outdoor heaters, the girls gathered in the workshop downstairs and Andrew left them to it. Gemma had already set everything up earlier, so it was all systems go.
‘Whoever knew getting messy could be so much fun,’ Carrie giggled. She had an apron on, but already it was streaked with dark chocolate that she’d dangled from a spoon and waved back and forth to make a pattern. ‘Why don’t mine look any good?’ she complained.
‘Let me see.’ Gemma came over, equipped with her glass of champagne. ‘It’s not so bad, you’ve just used too much chocolate there and probably went too fast. Try another.’
Carrie was decorating smaller pastille-size chocolates rather than anything big. She positioned another white chocolate disc, about twice the size of a dollar coin, and then with a spoonful of melted milk chocolate and under Gemma’s guidance she slowly tipped the spoon and moved methodically back and forth. ‘Ha! I think it’s working!’
‘See, a bit of patience and you’ve done a good job. Who are they for?’
‘They’re for Lachlan. White chocolate is his absolute favourite.’ She wanted to give them as a bit of a peace offering after the last time they were together and she’d left beneath a veil of tension. She believed him when he said she wasn’t judged for taking a break from her job, but what he said and what really went on in their world of high-flying friends and a life that rarely took a breath were different things entirely.
Gemma moved on to see what Bella was up to. ‘That looks heavenly. The raspberry pieces will taste good against the dark chocolate heart.’ She moved on to Rosie. ‘Wow, I’m impressed.’
‘I’m not exactly artistic,’ Rosie claimed.
Gemma shook her head as Bella and Carrie came over. ‘I think you are exactly that!’
‘Rosie, that’s gorgeous.’ Carrie admired the round of chocolate decorated with smaller pieces of freeze-dried raspberries arranged into petals, along with caramel sprinkles, which looked like flowers on its surface.
‘Can I take a photo?’ Gemma was already taking out her phone.
Rosie blushed a shade not too far off her straight copper hair. ‘I’m embarrassed now.’
‘Don’t be,’ said Bella. ‘You should be proud – it’s a masterpiece compared to my effort.’
Carrie grinned. ‘And mine.’ She nudged Bella conspiratorially. ‘But I figure it’ll all taste the same on the way down.’
Happy with the photos she’d taken of the workshop and now Rosie’s finished flower, Gemma said, ‘We’ll need to leave the chocolates to set so we may as well go relax upstairs again.’
‘What did you make?’ Carrie wanted to know and moved around to the bench Gemma had been working at. ‘It’s beautiful,’ she said when she saw the chocolate heart Gemma had decorated with gold lustre dust. She’d piped the word ‘love’ in white chocolate and sprinkled finely crushed freeze-dried raspberries across the surface. It was beautiful in its simplicity. ‘Now that should definitely go on the website. And Andrew will want to see it.’
Gemma set each chocolate aside in turn. ‘He’ll see it. It’s for him.’
‘You two are so romantic,’ said Bella as they took off their aprons and grabbed their champagne glasses. ‘Are you going to leave it on his pillow?’
Gemma’s eyes sparkled. ‘You know, I might just do that.’
Following the girls upstairs, Carrie wondered what it was like to be so in love. She thought she loved Lachlan. She cared for him, she was attracted to him. For a while they’d worked so well together, but she’d always worried there was something missing, something she couldn’t quite put her finger on. And being here in Magnolia Creek she was beginning to question her relationship all the more.
Carrie shook away the feeling and upstairs she helped turn on the outdoor heaters while they swapped champagne for a second hot chocolate each and sat slurping them beneath the stars.
‘I think my stomach might pay for this in the morning,’ said Bella. ‘All this chocolate, champagne…’
‘Rubbish,’ Rosie declared, gently stroking her tummy. ‘The baby has been doing somersaults in here, so I’d say he or she is pretty happy. And chocolate is so good for you, isn’t it Gemma? All those antioxidants!’
Carrie grinned. ‘I’m not sure of the health benefits in the amount us lot have picked at tonight are particularly vast, but I like the way you think.’
‘Is it true what else they say about chocolate?’ Rosie directed her question at Carrie. ‘You’re in the medical profession so I thought you’d know. Is it an aphrodisiac?’
The others burst out laughing.
‘I work with babies,’ Carrie answered, ‘not chocolate. Ask Gemma.’ She was buzzing right now, from the champagne, the chocolate and the company.
‘Andrew would say yes,’ Gemma smiled. ‘All I know is that it makes people happy, it brings people together. Chocolate has been in Andrew’s family for years and we’re already hoping Abby takes to it and wants to carry on the tradition – but if she doesn’t want to, we’ll accept that too.’
‘You look happy, Gemma.’ Bella put a hand on her friend’s arm.
‘I really am. Abby makes me smile every day. Even when she’s being a little madam – which, believe me, she can be – I still love her to bits and wouldn’t change anything for the world.’
‘Have you spoken to Molly since the party at the Harrisons’?’ Bella wanted to know.
Gemma smiled. ‘I have. She’s deeply envious of the Magnolia Girls so I should warn you that when they’re over here next she wants a piece of the action.’
‘Isn’t she a midwife?’ Carrie asked.
Rosie nodded. ‘You’d really like her. She and Ben flit between the UK, where her family are, and here, where Andrew is.’
‘They’ve got good careers to do so,’ said Carrie. ‘At least the medical profession will always be needed. A bit like property renovating,’ she directed to Rosie, ‘or drinking coffee,’ she told Bella. ‘Some careers are being replaced and it’s quite scary. My sister’s other half is in computing and he’s moved jobs a few times but from what she says, he’s only just managing to hold down a job. Lots of the work is outsourced to other countries now.’
‘It’s sad, isn’t it?’ said Bella. ‘I wouldn’t want to be in that position. It’s tough having your own business – I think Gemma will attest to that – but at the same time we are in control, and at least out here in Magnolia Creek it’s a small community, bringing in enough custom yet not the crazy competition you get elsewhere. But you’ll surely have a job for life, won’t you, Carrie? Paediatricians will always be in demand.’
‘I’m sure they will. I think there are plenty of positions in the city and surrounds. I was always glad I had a job I could do anywhere, if I wanted to.’ She looked at Rosie. ‘What about you? Are you still enjoying Magnolia House?
‘I am, and I’m lucky. I work part time, and in quiet times the owners get me to do any odd jobs required rather than not having any work. It works well for each of us: it means I’m not without pay and they don’t have to find another employee. I’ve helped with everything from organising weddings to washing up in the kitchen when they were short-staffed.’
‘Well, I think the Magnolia Girls are incredibly lucky.’ Bella sipped her hot chocolate. ‘We all seem to have our lives sorted in one way or another, and, more importantly, we have each other.’
‘You know, I’ve never really had that.’ Carrie found the words flowing out of her mouth before she could think about whether she really wanted to say them.
All eyes were on her.
‘Had what?’ Rosie asked.
‘I’ve never had a group of girls, like this.’ Her hand swept a circle from left to right, encompassing the other three women. ‘I’ve got friends, but since university and medical school I was always so focused on my career that I’ll be the first to admit I let friendships slip. Not just that, but the women I hung out with were all just like me – we were all pretty intent on striving to new heights in our careers.’
‘It’s understandable though, pet.’ The term of endearment from Bella highlighted the differences in all these women, from their ages to their professions and personal circumstances. Somehow, they complemented one another.
‘Is it?’ Carrie couldn’t stop now she’d begun to talk. She’d never once admitted to feeling lonely, not to anyone. When she was with Owen she’d been high on career, on life, on being young and free. But that had all changed in the blink of an eye. ‘I always blamed myself.’
‘I’m not in the medical profession,’ Gemma began, ‘but it’s the same with any job that becomes a passion. It was, or is, a passion, am I right?’
Carrie nodded. ‘I wanted to be a doctor right from when I was little. You know, I had one of those plastic boxes, the pretend medical kit, and I’d forever be taking people’s temperature, checking blood pressure. I used to keep charts too,’ she admitted sheepishly. ‘I had a pink sparkly notepad for mum that I’d record my findings on, a blue one for dad, a purple one for Kristy. They were great, always willing to play along. Paediatrics became something I was interested in somewhere along the way. I was so enthralled by the idea that these tiny humans couldn’t tell you what was wrong; they didn’t have the words as babies and then with older children I wanted to form that bond and solve the puzzle together.’
‘It must be a rewarding career,’ said Bella.
‘Even at the start, it really was. The first patient I bonded with was a little boy called Jasper. He was the one who made me realise the career was definitely for me. He came in with a rare heart condition and turned up to his first appointment in a Spiderman outfit, to the second dressed as Superman, and on the third he was wearing a Batman costume. For the fourth appointment, when he was incredibly sick, he turned up in regular jeans and a T-shirt because the superhero outfits were all in the wash. He looked a shadow of the boy I’d seen. I knew it was because he was so unwell, but I missed his smile. Between seeing patients that morning I phoned around, got a costume delivered, and when I went to see him late afternoon and subject him to yet more tests, I was dressed as Supergirl.
‘I’ll never forget his grin that day.’ Tears sprung into her eyes, but they were happy tears. ‘He went on to have his operation, eventually got better, and months later at a follow-up appointment he turned up as Superman. His mum had hired me a Supergirl costume again and he made me pose for a photograph with him. He said he would remember me forever and that we both had superpowers.’
‘Kids can be so gorgeous, can’t they?’ Gemma smiled.
They certainly could, and Carrie knew it was the case she should remember, the one that should’ve kept her going. Except it wasn’t.
‘Do you ever hear what happens to your patients once they leave your care?’ Gemma asked. ‘Or is the end of their treatment the time when you part ways?’
‘It depends. Some of them love to keep in touch and come in all tall and proud to say hello to doctors and nurses they saw every day for a while, others, particularly those who live some distance away, get on with their lives and don’t look back.’
‘And what about the not-so-good cases?’ Gemma swirled the hot chocolate in the bottom of her cup before drinking it. ‘Do their parents ever contact you again? Do you remember them? I mean, how do you cope with the cases that aren’t so nice, when you can’t save them?’
Carrie took a deep breath and this time she couldn’t find the words.
Gemma put a hand to her head. ‘I’m sorry, that was really insensitive. It’s just that, well, after being at the hospital the other day, I realised how hard it must be.’
‘It’s really hard,’ Carrie managed.
Rosie began shifting herself about and offered to take the cups down to the kitchen. ‘I need to move. I’m getting heavier and more uncomfortable by the day.’
Carrie wondered whether she was affected by the difficult topic of conversation or whether her discomfort was a mere coincidence but, whatever the reason for Rosie’s actions, she was glad not to be the focus any longer as they moved on to happier topics.
‘Are you still up for the movies tomorrow night?’ Gemma asked as she lent a hand with the clearing up.
Rosie called over her shoulder. ‘I sure am.’
‘Carrie?’ Gemma dropped a discarded teaspoon into the nearest mug.
‘Sounds good to me.’
‘I’m driving,’ said Bella, making them all laugh when she added, ‘but no arguing over who gets to sit in the front.’