Chapter 25

Jamie goggled at the windows as she passed them. Strange sea creatures stirred in the depths outside them. She slowed, wanting to look longer, but then she felt Drake at her back.

They needed to talk. She knew it, and so did he. However, she was afraid of the conversation they were about to have. So she lingered, pointing at the creatures outside the windows and asking her companion questions about them.

At last she gave a sigh and moved on. Drake was silent beside her. They walked the halls which reminded her of the insides of a seashell. Before long, he came to a stop before one of the membranes that she’d learned served as doors on this planet.

He ran a finger down the membrane and it opened. Drake motioned for her to enter, so she did, expecting him to follow.

Instead he stood outside the membrane, a lost expression on his face.

“Aren’t you coming inside?”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” he replied.

“Why not?” She was confused. There was a conversation between them that had to come out.

“You need to rest. I’ll leave you alone.”

She stood there, staring at him, expecting him to leave. But he didn’t. He just stood, staring at his feet.

“Drake?”

“I’m leaving.”

They stood there for another minute. She let out an exasperated sigh. “Well?”

“I’m trying to leave!” He didn’t move.

It was in that moment that she realized he couldn’t leave. Jamie grabbed his arm and pulled, tugging him into the room. At last the membrane closed behind them.

Her quarters looked comfortable, a few overstuffed chairs scattered about with a small table and two chairs for dining. She caught sight of what appeared to be food on the table, and her stomach gave a lurch. Jamie couldn’t remember the last time she’d eaten, and despite her need to talk to Drake, she didn’t think she could resist the idea of sustenance.

“Come on,” she said, leading him in the direction of the table. “Have a seat.”

Drake sat, looking dazed.

Jamie started poking at the food, her face confused. “What is all this?”

“Zantharian delicacies,” he replied. “Try some.”

“Only if you do first,” she said. “I’m not sure what’s edible.”

A ghost of a smile graced his face. He picked up something that faintly resembled a cheese puff and popped it into his mouth. “Very edible,” he said around the morsel.

Jamie smiled and reached for something on the tray. She took a bite, then moaned around the food. It was delicious.

They sat there quietly, him taking a few morsels while she demolished the rest of the spread. When she finished her last bite, she leaned back in her seat, a satisfied smile on her face. “Mmm…I needed that.”

She looked up to see his face full of hunger. Jamie doubted it was directed towards the food. The way he was looking at her sent a thrill through her body. It was a feeling she was becoming more and more comfortable with.

In fact, she had come to crave it.

Jamie wanted to lead him into the next room, where she presumed a bed would lay. She could crawl all over his body, sampling his delights, until they brought each other to twin climaxes.

The frenzy, her brain reminded her. It’s not as easy as you think.

With a sigh, she decided to go on the attack. “When were you going to tell me about the mating frenzy?”

It was several moments before he responded. “I wasn’t.”

Her jaw dropped. It made no sense. “But…as far as I understand it, you’ll die from this thing if you don’t…if you don’t…” She knew the words but couldn’t say them.

“If I don’t claim my mate,” he finished for her.

“And I’m…” she looked at him, hesitating to say the word even though she already knew it was true. “I’m your mate.”

He nodded, then hung his head.

“Please,” she said quietly. “Please explain this to me.”

Drake stared off into the distance. “Zantharians mate for life. Because our females have only a single egg, evolution has forced the frenzy on us, to ensure that we will keep the population stable.”

“And the frenzy makes you need to mate or…you die?” It seemed so unfair to her, a biological imperative that risked lives. Then she remembered the lemmings on Earth who would fall into the ocean in droves, just based on instinct. Maybe this wasn’t so different.

“How does it happen? If you don’t mate…?”

Drake didn’t seem capable of meeting her gaze. “The seed we don’t release becomes toxic and kills us.”

Although she’d heard hints of his possible demise, the fact that he was admitting it to her now carried a weight she hadn’t felt before. She was his mate, the only one he’d ever have. And if she spurned him…

Still, she had questions. How did the mating process work? Why had she been selected? Was it because of who she was, or was there something else? Something purely chemical or biological? Was it chance that had chosen her for him?

But how could she ask these things when he was sitting there, a pained expression on his face. “Why me?” she said at last, her voice small.

Finally, he met her gaze, and his eyes were clear for once. “I’d had no luck getting into NASA myself. I knew of your existence thanks to your sister, and you were what I considered a contingency plan, one I hoped I wouldn’t have to use.”

A slow exhale gave him pause before he continued. “I sought you out when I could think of no other way of getting access to the secured area. I caught you coming out of your apartment one night. I remember the streetlight setting your hair aflame. I think it was then that I first fell.”

Jamie felt a jolt in her chest, every word he said building the sensation. “I started following you, at first telling myself that I was looking for a way to get access without actually bothering you. But I think I knew even then that interacting with you would be dangerous. I was obsessed, spending my days watching you, fantasizing about meeting you, about touching your skin, feeling your lips against mine.”

His dark eyes blazed into hers, the golden ring around the inky pools expanding. “That evening, when those assholes from the train followed you, I couldn’t stop myself from acting. I was filled with such rage, I could have easily killed them without regrets. But that night, when I saw you at the restaurant, it was purely by chance.”
“I thought afterwards that I could go back to following you around, but you made sure that wasn’t a possibility. Once you confronted me, I knew I was well and truly hooked. I debated that afternoon, before we met at the coffee shop, about just going away, giving up on trying to get into NASA through you.”

He leaned in close, and Jamie wanted to reach across the table and take his hand in hers. She hesitated, not wanting to break the spell. “The truth is, I couldn’t walk away from you. And that night, I watched you. I saw you open the door to your fiancé, a vision in white, and I burned with such jealousy that I couldn’t stand it. I waited until he left, and I came to you.”

Jamie’s cheeks heated with the memory of what had transpired. “After I tasted you, I knew I’d never get you out of mind.” Drake’s voice trembled. “And in Lakewood’s lab, after I entered you for the first time, I was lost. The frenzy began immediately.”

Her mind was reeling. It sounded like he was saying that it wasn’t just biology, not just some mix of pheromones and chemicals that had drawn him to her. Still, he hadn’t said the one word she’d been longing to hear.

Swallowing past the lump in her throat, Jamie spoke. “If I accept you as my mate, what happens then?”

A look of stunned disbelief marched over his face. “You would accept me?” He stopped for a moment, as if he couldn’t go on, then he shook his head. “You don’t know what you’re saying. As my mate, I would be chained to your side for the rest of our lives. A Zantharian male experiences physical pain when separated from his mate. I would rarely let you out of my sight.”

Jamie leaned back. The idea of an overprotective male at her side for all hours of the day was a heady thought. She’d never been attracted to that idea and in fact had always required her private time. Still, the thought of Drake being the one at her side made her feel differently for the first time.

“And then, there’s what might happen if you accept my seed.”

She stared into his eyes, catching his meaning. A child could result from their union. She’d seen the other couples in the conference room today. It was clear that human and Zantharian DNA were compatible.

“And so you see why having me as a mate might not be preferable.”

He’d listed his reasons, and she took a moment to consider. Although she’d been engaged to Lance, she admitted to herself now that she’d never really thought of him as a husband. She’d never considered what it would be like to spend her life with him.

She was still young, after all, with plenty of life left to live. Settling down now would mean that she no longer had the freedom to explore other options. And, as he’d pointed out, if she accepted a Zantharian male as a mate, there would be no other options.

Jamie had already seen Drake kill a man who’d touched her. She thought he’d do the same to any male she might seek out over him.

Choosing Drake would be the last decision she made. It had to be the right one, otherwise everyone involved would suffer, and maybe worse.

When she looked up again, Drake had risen from his seat. “Where are you going?”

“To my quarters to rest.”

She stood, moving closer to him. “How long do you have?” she asked. “Before…you know?”

Drake shrugged his shoulders. “It isn’t an exact science. The frenzy has progressed, you saw that when I couldn’t leave your door. It won’t be much longer.”

The thought that he was suffering made Jamie want to cry. She reached out to him, but he moved back. “I had hoped to spare you this.”
She frowned. “It’s my decision. It was right that you shared this with me.”

His smile was sad. He opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. After a moment he turned away, moving towards the door.

“You don’t have to go,” she said when he opened the membrane.

“I do.” He didn’t turn back around. Jamie wondered if he couldn’t. It was already torture for him to depart.

“Drake, I—“

“Don’t,” he said, his voice ravaged by emotion. He stepped through the door and was gone.

Jamie was hit by a wave of emotion. She felt his loss keenly, considered going after him. Instead she slid to her knees, confused tears falling from her eyes.

His suffering was so visceral, she felt an answering pang in her guts. Could she let him go on suffering, knowing the eventual result?

“No,” she said to herself. “I can’t.” There was no way she could let him die. Even the thought shook her to her core.

She loved him. It was true, and she didn’t want to deny it. But, although he’d admitted his desire for her, his undeniable attraction to her, he hadn’t told her he loved her.

Could she live with him forever, not knowing if he could love her? He’d be by her side, but that did not ensure happiness. And being locked in misery for the rest of her life was a frightening thought.

Jamie wasn’t sure how long she’d sat there in thought before she heard the knock. She pulled herself up, going to the membrane.

“Hello?” she asked, unsure about conventions on this planet.

“It’s me,” her sister’s voice said from the other side. “I’m coming in.”

One look at Sylvie’s face and the tears started all over again.

“Oh, honey,” her older sister said, pulling her into an embrace. “What’s wrong? Talk to me.”

“I love him,” she said simply, unable to stop herself. “I love him and I don’t know if he loves me.”

“Shh…” Sylvie stroked her hair gently. “I know what you’re going through. After all, I have a Zantharian mate.”

“Are you happy?” she asked her sister. She saw the answer written large in her eyes.

“Ecstatic. I’ve never been happier in my life.”

“But, is it true? Is your mate overbearing, overprotective, never giving you a moment’s peace?”

Sylvie laughed. “Yes, that’s all true.” Jamie frowned, and her sister put an arm around her. “But I love it. I want to be with him as much as he wants to be with me.”

“Did he tell you he loved you? Before?” It was the single thing that kept Jamie from seeking out Drake and begging him to claim her.

Sylvie gave her a look that said more than words could. “It was complicated. We’d been set up by shape-shifters, had barely escaped death. To be truthful, I’d made up my mind before he said the words.”

She patted Jamie’s hand. “I believe that a male does not undergo the frenzy if his heart hasn’t been tamed by his chosen female.”

“He loves me?” Jamie whispered anxiously.

Sylvie nodded. “I’d stake my life on it.”

“But it’s his life at stake, not yours,” Jamie said. And she couldn’t let him waste it, couldn’t let him die of rejection. Still…

“What if…what if I get pregnant?”

Sylvie opened her mouth to speak, but before the words could come out, the membrane to the outside opened. In stepped Xivthar Rasveen, Supreme Regent of Zanthar and Drake’s brother.

And in his arms was nestled a small child, its skin a light green. There were tendrils on his head like its father’s, but they were lighter than his. And when she moved closer, she realized the baby’s eyes were blue.

The same color as her sister’s eyes.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart,” the Regent said, bending to press a kiss to Sylvie’s forehead. “I stayed away for as long as I could.”

Sylvie left. “I’m surprised you made it this long.” She carefully took the child from his arms, nestling it close. Jamie approached, a sense of wonder filling her. I’m an aunt.

Although she’d never given more than a fleeting thought to children, seeing the half-Zantharian, half-human child opened her mind to the possibility. A child that was part her, part Drake. It would be the most wonderful child in the world.

“I have to go to him,” she whispered out loud, and her sister nodded. “Please,” Jamie said, “can you show me to his quarters?”

“Of course,” Sylvie said.

“It wouldn’t matter,” the Regent said. “He’s not in his quarters.”

Both women turned to him with twin expressions of confusion. “Where is he?” Jamie asked.

“He’s taken a ship and didn’t log a destination.”

Jamie was crestfallen. He’d left, having lied about going to rest. Still, she wasn’t willing to give up without a fight. “Do you know where he went?”

“I have an idea,” the Regent replied. “And I can take you there.”

“Let’s go,” she said without hesitation.