Chapter Twenty-Nine

Riley didn’t think that they would be up to it, but Adam wanted to celebrate Christmas so after supper they finally exchanged gifts. Riley had bought him a Louisville Slugger baseball bat, a baseball, and a baseball mitt. He also got two video games and a new gaming system.

Riley had also bought Jace a Nerf football, baseball and bat. Pete had been grateful for the unexpected gifts. Riley joked that he just wanted to make sure Little Jace didn’t smash the television set with the real thing.

Riley opened the box that contained his gift. It was pretty banged up but the contents were undamaged. It was a new lunchbox, thermos, and a small cooler.

“Wow…” he said in surprise. It was actually a great gift. “Thanks. I’ll definitely use these.” He hugged Adam who looked at his mother proudly.

Pete and Jace left and while Adam gathered up the wrapping paper Riley retrieved the last gift which had been hidden in his Christmas stocking.

“I got something for you.” He thrust the package to Stella who looked at him in surprise before accepting it.

“You didn’t have to do that. I didn’t get you anything.”

Riley glanced over at the lunch equipment. It was Coleman brand and he was pretty sure that it was a gift from her as well as from Adam.

“It’s nothing big. I just wanted you to have something to open on Christmas day.”

“Thank you.” She admired the professionally wrapped gift. She’d seen how Riley wrapped gifts and he sure hadn’t done this himself. There was a fluffy pink bow on top. Perfect. She carefully opened it. There was a little jewelry box inside. She looked at Riley in surprise. Jewelry.

She opened the box and saw a locket inside. It was a silver heart and had an engraved S on front. She lifted it from the case. “It’s beautiful,” she said.

“Look inside.” Adam came over then to see what she had. Stella opened the locket and saw a picture of Adam on one side. It was the school picture that she had sent him a few months ago but he’d gotten it shrunken down to fit. The picture on the other side brought a huge smile to her face. It looked like Riley at about the same age. She brought it closer and peered at the little image of Riley at Adam’s age.

Adam wanted to see and they passed it back and forth. Riley finally took it and placed it around her neck.

Stella opened it again and stared at the two images. One had brown skin, the other had white but they were almost one in the same. She blinked back her tears. 

“Mommy, why are you crying?” Adam asked.

Stella smiled and wiped away her tears.

“Are you okay?” Riley asked in concern.

“I’m okay. I just love my gift.” She reached over and hugged Riley. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

She whispered into his ear. “No. I mean thank you for helping me to see.”

“See?” He asked hoping that she was referring to the only barrier that stood between them—not race, but their inability to find a common ground.

“We’re all different,” she continued, “but we’re the same where it most counts.”

He pulled back, still holding her in his arms—connected with her bodily. He looked at her as deeply as one can look at another. This time when the electrical zing passed between them, she didn’t look away, which then connected them completely.

 

 

The next day Christmas Carolers knocked on the door—actual Christmas Carolers. Stella just stood there staring at them in astonishment. It seemed so sweet and yet so strange to have perfect strangers standing at the door singing to her.

Riley enjoyed it and simply listened silently with his arm comfortably around her waist and his other hand on Adam’s shoulder. In that moment she felt like the family that she suddenly wished to be.

He thanked them and once they were gone he explained that they were from his church.

“This is the first year that I put my name on the list for carolers.” It was the first time in years that he hadn’t just sat in front of the television watching sports all day.

“How are you feeling this morning?” He asked her.

“Sore in places that I didn’t know I had feeling.”

“Well you should take it easy today. Bodie gave me the week off to spend with Adam, but I really should go in for a while. I want to take a look at your truck and get the pictures taken for the insurance assessors.”

“It’s fine. Adam and I will be alright.”

He didn’t really want to leave them but he knew how the insurance claims worked and he wanted to make sure that it was done quickly. He would only be away for a few hours. He thought about calling Mrs. Jameson to come down and check on them but he was being sill—Pete was right there.

“Well there’s plenty of food and feel free to call me. I’ll be home before dark.”

He leaned in and kissed her lips lightly. He didn’t ask and would take the slap across the face if she decided to deliver it. He had almost lost her and Adam and he wouldn’t spend another wasted moment. Instead of slapping him she blinked in surprise and then with a soft sigh, wished him a good day.

He returned as quick as promised. Adam met him at the door and hugged him in relief. He closed the door and sat down on the little bench in the entranceway. He pulled Adam onto his lap and noticed his nails. He took hold of the boy’s small hands, examining the nails that were bitten down to the cuticle beds and dotted with blood.

Stella came into the entrance. She sighed when she saw that Riley was examining Adam’s nails. “He’s been biting them again.” He’d also sucked his thumb throughout the night again. And he’d had a wrestles sleep of tossing and turning.

Riley lifted his son and carried him into the living room. He sat on the couch with him on his lap.

“It’s been a scary time, hasn’t it?”

Adam nodded after a moment. “It’s been fun here with you. The only thing that’s been bad was the car accident.”

Stella reached out and stroked his curly hair. She sat down next to him. “Adam, baby. You don’t have to be afraid.”

Adam looked off into the distance.

Riley gave him a gentle shake. “Hey buddy. What are you afraid of?”

“Nothing.” Adam said softly. Riley looked at Stella who just shrugged slightly, but she was becoming worried. He caught sight of the small branch around Adam’s neck. Riley touched it, his brow creasing. Why did his son feel that he needed to be protected?

“Adam. You know that you can open up to me about anything. I will listen to you no matter what you have to say. You know that, right?”

Adam nodded.

“I’m going to ask you a question and I want you to be honest. Okay?”

Adam nodded. “Okay, dad.”

“What are you afraid of, son? You can tell me.”

Adam touched his charm.

“Are you afraid of something?” Riley asked.

Adam slowly nodded his head.

“What is it, baby?” Stella asked. She wanted to cry or scream that something or someone had been scaring her child all this time and she hadn’t known. “What is it baby?”

“I’m scared…” tears sprouted to his eyes and his lips began to tremble. “I’m scared that lady is going to take me away and that you won’t be my mommy anymore.” Suddenly he began to choke back sobs.

Stella looked surprised. “Do you mean your birth mother?”

Adam nodded. “I don’t want her to take me away!”

Riley hugged him. “Oh, honey,” he said. “Nobody’s going to take you away from your mom. I won’t let that happen.”

“Adam, you’ve been worried about that all this time? Baby, she is not going to come and take you away. The judge made you my son. She has no more rights to you. Legally. She can never come back for you. And she doesn’t want to do that. She wrote those letters so that you could talk to her when you are all grown up and only if you have any questions to ask her.”

“But I don’t have to talk to her, do I mommy?”

Stella stroked his hair and leaned in and kissed him. “No, baby. You don’t ever have to see or hear from her. It’s your choice.”

Adam nodded, his tears disappearing. “I dream sometimes that she’s going to come and make me go with her. Then I won’t see you anymore.”

Riley gave his son an earnest look. “If that ever happened I’ll come and get you and take you right back to your mommy. Do you trust that?”

Adam smiled and nodded in relief. His daddy was a super hero. He could do anything. He even found him when he was lost in the woods. And he rescued them. Adam hugged his father.

 

 

After Riley put Adam into the bed that he was sharing with his mom, he closed the door, keeping the hall light shining to act as a night light.

Stella was wringing her hands anxiously. Riley took them in his. “It’s alright, Stella.”

“All this time…and I didn’t know.”

“You can’t know everything.” He led her down the stairs and poured her a glass of iced tea.

“You figured it out.” She accepted the tea and took a long drink. “How?”

He sat down across from her at the large dining room table. “Because I did the same thing. I used to chew my nails down to the quick whenever I got stressed.”

She gave him a worried look and then she took his hand and examined them. She looked at his palm. The bandage was still in place. She examined his nails. They weren’t bitten down any longer. Adam would hopefully grow out of it too.

“What made you stressed as a little boy?” She asked.

Riley placed his other hand on top of hers and then examined her long fingers.

“I saw some things that a little kid shouldn’t ever have to see.”

She looked at him. “You didn’t have it easy as a kid, did you Riley?”

He met her eyes. “No. But I knew a lot of people that had it worse. But you know something that I’ve learned?”

“What have you learned?”

He brought her fingertips to his lips and kissed each lightly. “I learned that if you don’t speak up, life is going to lead you instead of the other way around.”

She stared at the way he moved his lips over her fingers.

“I learned that I don’t want to be passive any more—not in how I lead my life, not in how I handle my problems…and especially not when it comes to the mother of my child.”

Her lips parted at the way his deep drawl rumbled from his throat. She looked up and into his eyes, hooded now and darker then she’d ever seen them before, yet still the eyes that he had given to her son—their son.

“Remember what I said to Adam?” He asked quietly. “That he could tell me anything. It’s the same for you. You can say anything to me. Ask me anything. I will tell you whatever you want to know about myself, my past, my present—whatever it might be.”

Stella looked down and realized that their fingers were intertwined. How could something so innocent, like fingers intertwined be so sensual? It was the contrast—and not just in color. Contrast—differences, weren’t bad. His fingers were rough and calloused and hers slender and long. Hers caramel and his vanilla…Differences, contrast, light, dark…

She lightly nibbled her lip. “Okay.” She replied.

“I want to give you all the time you need to get used to me.” Riley leaned back in his chair causing her to realize that they had moved closer to each other. “But I intend to have you as my own. I want Adam but I also want you.”

She blew out an amused breath. “You do, huh?”

He wasn’t smiling. “Yep. Race is standing between us. And I don’t want it to.”

“Race is a big deal, especially in this day in age.”

“It can be. But it doesn’t have to be between us.” He said.

She thought about her next words. “Did race play a role in why you broke it off with Jasmine?”

“No,” he said. “I was just a dick.” He rubbed the beard of his chin and looked off into the distance. “When I really understood that my careers as a football player was over, I pulled away from everything that reminded me of those dreams. I told myself that she would be better off without me, but if I’m honest with myself, I just didn’t want to be reminded of all that I would never be.” He met Stella’s eyes.

“You asked me if I loved her. I did. But I was young and stupid. I thought that everything important about myself was lost with my knee injury. I didn’t think a woman like her would want a man like me, not when I didn’t have anything to offer.”

“A man like you?” Stella asked while shaking her head. “What do you mean a man like you? Are you talking poor? A lot of people are poor, Riley. That doesn’t make you less of a man.”

He shook his head and looked away. When he met her eyes again they were filled with sadness. “Trash is what I mean. Poor. White. Trash.”

She sighed and closed her eyes. Her hand found his again. When she opened her eyes they locked onto Riley’s and he saw fire in them.

“Don’t call my son’s father that. Don’t claim those words. I don’t care what the rest of them think, but you don’t claim those words.”

He listened intently and thought about Sully. He never carried himself like trash, even when Riley tried to convince him that he was. He bit his lip and nodded his head at her words.

“You’re right.”

“Let’s agree not to use hate words, not towards ourselves and not towards others.”

He nodded.

She sighed. “Then I agree…to give us a chance.”

He blinked and then moved closer. She did the same until they were inches from each other.

“Kiss me like you did before.” She whispered.

“Uh uh.” He shook his head. And then his lips captured hers, the tip of his tongue chasing the kiss. He cupped her cheek, his fingers strummed along her jawline.

Stella caught her breath as a zing of electricity transferred between them.

“Did you feel that?” He whispered in amazement.

She nodded. “What was it?” she asked surprised that he could feel it too.

“Something right finally snapping into place.”

She smiled. “I love how you say things.”

He cupped her face again and this time when they kissed they didn’t stop for a long time.