Chapter Six

Stella read the letter with a slight smile on her face. It figures that she would hear from Pranger after she had left a deposit on the beach house in South Carolina. It was a nice place, too. Right on the beach with a screened in swimming pool--not that she or her son swam; not in pools or oceans even though the house was just steps away from the sea. There was no amount of water too small or too large that she’d enter that had ever graced another’s feet or ass. Swimming was one of many things whose appeal she just didn’t understand. To her it was akin to sitting in someone’s used bathwater.

She read the letter once again, noting his weak apology and that he hadn’t offered to pro-rate the amount or invite her to extend her stay two weeks into July. She sighed. She was just going to have to pay the penalty for breaking her contract at the Outer Banks. Still, she was excited that he’d finally accepted her offer.

Unexpectedly she felt a strange tension in her belly. This was full circle. She had to do this even if she felt like she was about to give a speech in front of a group of strangers.

She pushed the feeling back, silently reminding herself that she was bold and fearless. She scrolled through her smart phone searching for the telephone number to the vacation rental when it began to vibrate in her hand. The name Evan flashed across the screen. She rolled her eyes already knowing why he was blowing up her phone. This was the third call of the day that she hadn’t answered and it was barely noon. She had intentionally ignored them because his morning calls were becoming a habit now that it was summer.

He’d understood when she told him not to call in the mornings while school was in session because she was either getting ready for work or already at work. But now that it was summer he was starting a habit that she didn’t want. She did not want to talk to Evan every day. He was not her boyfriend. He was not her man.

“Hello,” she answered making every attempt not to sound annoyed.

“Hey, beautiful. Everything okay?”

Why did she even answer the phone? That question was enough to push her annoyance level up a few more notches. His real question was, ‘Where have you been?’ ‘Why haven’t you answered my calls?’ Evan was the type to probe about something or leave open-ended questions waiting for her to fill in the blanks because instead of just being straight-forward he had to try to guilt you into giving him information.

Instead of immediately responding Stella decided to take a few calming breaths. This was exactly the reason that she had always opted to stay single. Small things annoyed the bejesus out of her, specifically things centered around men and relationships. She couldn’t handle the little dance that you did with someone new—like the one Evan was doing now. So she tried to politely ‘keep it real’, even though Evan acted as if they were in a relationship after only a month of dating.

She’d done her part in keeping things casual. Hadn’t she kept their sexual excursions limited to his condo so that she could leave immediately afterwards? Didn’t she tell him that she didn’t want to introduce him to her son? Or maybe he thought that meant for now and not forever…

The thing about Evan is that he was a good catch and deep down she knew it. Her annoyance was just a manifestation of her own lack of interest even though he was everything that the average woman could want. He was beyond good-looking with a deep chocolate complexion, a dark, velvety goatee surrounding amazingly kissable lips. He made good money, had a great job, and lived in a high-priced condo. All of her friends said that he was a good catch so she kept him around, not because she wanted him but because she should want him. Only she didn’t feel that way about him or any man.

“I’m right in the middle of something. Can I call you back?” she asked, distracted. But she still made sure to keep her voice light and polite as she continued searching for the elusive phone number.

“Well I just wanted to know if you wanted to go out to dinner tonight, you know, before you hit the beach?”

Translation: I wanted to know if I can get some booty before you leave town.

“Sorry. I’m going to be super busy.” She placed him on speaker so that she could open an email from the rental.

“Well you have to eat, right?” He continued. Her brow arched.

…with Adam, my son that you’ve never met…

“Yeah…” She said slowly and distinctly. “But I’ll be too busy to go out.”

“I could bring you something. I’ve never met your son.”

Stella almost choked. Did this fool just invite himself over to her home-which he’d never set foot in? Did he just suggest meeting he son before she’d ever extended the invitation?

She pulled out the dining room chair and sat down casually and then crossed her legs. She placed the phone on the table. And then she gave her annoyance permission to do whatever it wanted. Here we go…

“No Evan. I am busy. I cannot eat with you today, tonight…” or possibly ever you persistent freak. “I will call you when things aren’t so hectic.”

Evan sighed. “Listen Stella. I really like you. I don’t feel as if…you realize that. I mean, I’m not trying to toot my own horn, but most women would really appreciate what I’m about.”

Now he was calling her unappreciative? This is why she didn’t do relationships, she reminded herself as her annoyance changed to real anger.

“I know this is not a good time, but I’d really like to move our relationship to another level.” He paused while she seethed silently. Some other woman might feel a special way about his revelation. But she wasn’t that woman. She was just preoccupied by the realization that he was still talking after she’d told him twice that she was busy.

“Wow…” he finally took the hint when the silence stretched. “I guess you really are busy, or maybe I mistook your interest.”

“How is this even a question?” she asked incredulously. “I told you that I was busy. And instead of respecting that you just keep…pushing.”

Now it was his turn to become silent. When he finally spoke his voice was clipped and angry. “Well, I’m sorry that my phone call was such an inconvenience.”

Sarcasm was met with sarcasm when she responded. “Apology accepted. Again, I’ll talk to you when I’m not so busy.”

“Don’t bother,” he snapped.

“Okay.” Bye bye now, and good riddance. Have a good life. She ended the call in relief.

 

 

Men described Stella as coldblooded and hard to get next to. She didn’t dispute it. She had always known that she wasn’t like other people; that she didn’t feel like other people. She latched onto a few friends and was content with that. Even during college when people went through a sexual awakening she had viewed sex more like something to study and analyze. It was enjoyable, but so was hot chocolate with marshmallows.

Her friends would try to set her up with available men when she just preferred going to the movies or out to eat with a few buddies. But it made sense that she could do that with her own man. So she had gone out on dates but she never felt the way her friends seemed to feel about men. In fact it was kind of annoying the way they always went on and on about their new guy. Men seemed to change women. Her friends got stupid and giddy over their men. Or maybe it was the dick that made them giddy. Or maybe she just didn’t understand because she didn’t particularly care for most men.

Stella wasn’t exactly a man-hater. She loved her father, and her son Adam was the most important person in her life. She had wondered if she was a lesbian. She did like her friends much more than she liked the guys she dated, especially when they became pushy or possessive. But Stella realized pretty quickly that she didn’t like vagina, so there it was.

She thought that she was maybe a bit asexual. She’d done some research on it and determined that while she enjoyed sex, she wasn’t driven by the need for it. After a while, Stella decided that it was because she was just focused. And now that she had a child her interests centered on making their lives the best that she could.

The unfortunate thing is that men liked her. A lot. She was six feet tall—but also thick and curvy. She carried it well…or maybe it was that she didn’t lack for confidence, and obviously she didn’t desire the approval of the opposite sex. She was comfortable in her own skin. More than one man had likened her to Serena Williams but she looked nothing like her and determined that men just didn’t know how to categorize someone like her.

Stella didn’t set out to hurt the feelings of these men but they soon learned that she could care less about their good looks, money or the number of notches they had on their belts. After the first disagreement, she would take a physical step back and bid them farewell. And don’t play games like try to make her jealous or God-forbid cheat. She just shrugged and went about her business. Stella Burton was tragedy to a man’s ego.

Little men were attracted to the idea of being dominated by her, good-looking men liked that she had a blasé attitude about them and they believed that there would come a time when they would control her completely. Fragile men thought to gain strength from her, white men were just a flat no-go and for everyone else she was to be their trophy.

Within an hour she had almost forgotten about Evan all together.

 

 

That evening when she picked up her son from day camp she gave him the news.

“Guess what baby. We’re going to the mountains after-all.”

Adam smiled while pulling his seatbelt across his lap. He was holding onto a drawing, being careful not to wrinkle it. “Are we going to see bears like that time in Gatlinburg?”

“Uh, I hope not.” She took the drawing from him and examined it. It was on blue construction paper with pipe cleaners glued to it that looked suspiciously like a boy and his mother. A lopsided yellow sun sat high in the corner and real grass was glued to the ground.

“Is this me?” She asked.

He nodded. “And that one is me.”

“I’m very tall,” She commented.

“Just like in real-life,” he concurred.

“I wish I was this skinny.”

He laughed, his crystal grey eyes sparkling in merriment. “Mom, if you were that skinny you wouldn’t be able to find any clothes!”

“Well thank you for making me a dress.” He had shaped leaves into a fashionable skirt and top.

Adam nodded.

“Are you hungry?” She asked.

“Yeah. We had grilled cheese and tater tots for lunch but I’m still hungry. Can we have chicken curry? They probably won’t have good Indian food in the mountains.”

“You’re probably right,” she said as they began driving. She didn’t find it strange that her five-year old had a diverse taste in food. From the moment that she’d called him son, Stella knew that she would open the world up for his choosing, and that included exposing him to various tastes and experiences.

He even attended an alternative school that began with toddlers. They were immersed in studies of different cultures, the arts and specifically music. He was no musical virtuoso but he played Twinkle Twinkle Little Star much better than she ever could, and he often dotted his words with Japanese phrases.

She listened intently as he described the day’s adventures at day camp while she drove them to their favorite Indian restaurant. Once comfortable in their booth she asked what he wanted to order, as if she didn’t already know.

“Chicken curry, spicy three. Aloo-nan and Keema Samosa with extra red chili chutney.” She nodded and added Saag Paneer and the two split the meal, finishing it up with no leftovers.

Adam was a robust boy. Some would call him chunky. But he was also tall which meant hat he didn’t look like the average five-year old. It was her opinion that his chubby cheeks just added to his cuteness but she knew that one day it might be a problem so she limited his access to sweets and tried to encourage more physical activity. But Adam liked computers and reading and playing video games. There weren’t many children his age in their neighborhood and it wasn’t as if she could just send him outside to play like in the good old days when she had been a child. Children these days seldom played stickball in the street or hoops against an old building. Or maybe they did, but just not in the suburban neighborhood that she and Adam lived. 

It was the prime reason that she wanted to actively do something with him each summer and winter break. Last summer they had gone to Gatlinburg, spending much of it on the Parkway. They usually spent a few days at Christmas with her mom and dad and then off for a week some place warm. They had been to Disney Land, Sea World and even to Washington DC to do a Whitehouse tour.

Some places he might not remember because he was so young, but that didn’t matter because she intended to expose and enlighten him to as many experiences that she could.

It went without saying that she loved her son, and he saw not one ounce of the cold disregard that she felt for the adult males of his sex.

“When are we going to the mountains?” Adam asked when they were back in the car.

“You might as well finish out day camp for the week. We’ll drive up Saturday morning. She glanced at him, seeing a boy with skin that was nearly as brown as hers but with grey eyes and curly hair that marked him as multi-racial. She was raising a black man, though. Despite those eyes and that hair, America would see a black man. And Stella Burton meant to arm her son with as much knowledge as she could in order for him to navigate this world.