Alec and I had to go to Dean Harry Nicholson’s office for a meeting. He was conducting an investigation into the allegations about Alec having an affair with a student, and the best way was to bring our side of the story. Alec and I had discussed this and decided that it would be the best idea to come forward. Not with everything, of course, but enough to smooth things over.

Alec was confident that they would be able to sort it out, but I wasn’t so sure. He kept saying he had a good reputation to fall back on, but I was scared that that was exactly what he would lose.

I hadn’t been in Dean Nicholson’s office before, but the moment we walked in, I hated the place. The walls were painted a dirty beige like Nicholson had spent his whole life smoking in the office. He didn’t smoke; it was just the color palette. A hideous brown carpet stretched from wall to wall, and there was nothing in the office that made it look like someone spent all his time in here.

“So,” Nicholson said, “how are we going to deal with this?”

I wasn’t sure if this was a way to get us to come clean, or if he honestly wanted to know as if we could make it better ourselves. I was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. He wasn’t a warm man, but I didn’t get the idea that he was out to get us suspended.

“I think I have the answer to that,” I said. “I want to start taking classes online.”

Dean Nicholson frowned. “Are you sure? That might affect your grades, Miss Daughtry.”

I nodded. “I’m sure,” I said. “I don’t want something silly like this to mess up Professor Hutson’s career. It really is such a silly thing.”

“Enlighten me, Miss Daughtry,” Nicholson said, interlinking his fingers behind his head. His body language was casual, a sign that this wasn’t as serious, yet. It didn’t set me at ease in the slightest, I would still be on my guard.

“To be honest, Sir, I had some dumb school girl fantasy. I was the one who kissed him the other day, and it was all we ever shared together.” I looked Dean Nicholson in the eye, not wavering for a second. There was no way I was letting Alec go under for something like this. I felt him look at me, his eyes boring into me, but I wasn’t going to exchange glances with him. I needed Dean Nicholson to believe me.

Dean Nicholson looked at me for a long time, turning everything over in his mind. He was making a decision. I could hear my blood rush in my ears, hear the second-hand ticking in the clock against the wall. I was nervous. Dean Nicholson’s face gave nothing away, and I didn’t know which way he was leaning.

“Alright, Miss Daughtry,” he said. “I can see how this could have been blown out of proportion. If that is what happened, and your decision is to take classes online, I don’t see how we can’t forget about the whole thing. You are, as it were, removing yourself from the equation.”

I nodded. He believed the story. It was all I wanted.

“And you, Alec,” Dean Nicholson said, “I don’t want to hear of anything like this again. You have a sterling reputation here at UCLA; I would like to see you carry on with it.”

Alex nodded. “Absolutely, Dean. You can count on me.”

We were dismissed, and we got up, leaving the office in silence. We didn’t speak to each other at all. We had agreed not to be seen together at all. We had just dodged a bullet and there was no reason to tempt fate. I left the campus and drove to the beach. Alec and I had agreed to meet there.

Ten minutes later, he arrived, too. He parked next to my car and walked to where I was waiting for him. I wanted to wrap my arms around him, to hug him, to kiss him. It had worked, we had pulled it off. Before I could throw myself at Alec, I noticed his face was troubled.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

Alec shook his head. “I can’t do this.”

“Do what?” I had a sinking feeling in my stomach.

“This all feels wrong. You are being compromised even though we were both wrong.”

“But we can be together now,” I said. “I did this for you.”

Alec shook his head again. “I don’t want to be the one that did this to you.”

I was getting angry. We had agreed on this. He hadn’t mentioned anything about this before the meeting.

“Everything was fine before the meeting. Everything was fine in the meeting. Why are you having second thoughts about it all of a sudden?”

“Because on the drive here, I realized what you have just done for me. I can’t let you do something like this. If I go and speak to Dean Nicholson, maybe we can change what has happened. There is still time.”

I groaned. “You are impossible,” I said. “Why can’t you just accept that I wanted to do this for you? Are you so used to being alone that when someone is there for you, you don’t understand?”

Alec was angry now, too. “That’s not fair. You’re allowed to do something for me, but when it’s the other way around, you feel rejected?”

I shook my head. This was going the wrong direction. A moment ago, we had the world at our feet, and now Alec was stepping all over it.

“I’m just saying, I’m uncomfortable with this,” Alex said.

“Well, I’m just saying that I can’t let you walk away.

“But, I have to.”

“Alec, I love you, dammit!”

My outburst shocked us both. Neither of us had expected that confession. I had felt this way about it for a while now, but I hadn’t wanted to admit it to him or to myself. It was out there, now.

“What?”

I took a deep breath. “I love you,” I said again.