Noel.
Good old Bing Crosby’s Jingle Bells plays out around the regular bar in Soho as we sit in the booth. People filter in and out as it’s almost happy hour, while the craze outside fills the streets with rush hour. Hard wood flooring and mirrors behind the bar are a prominent interior, along with the white artificial Christmas tree in the corner covered in purple and pink baubles. It’s not my idea of a traditional tree. In fact, the more I study it, the more I realise it’s a fucking mess. My mother would be horrified shit like that still exists.
“Jesus, Noel. I get more conversation from my five-year-old.”
I sigh and swig my beer before letting him in on my plans. “I’m wanting to sell the Parisian business.”
“Since when?”
“I’ve been thinking about it for a while but kept it to myself. That was the main reason for going over the other week. I’ve been speaking with a few investors from another firm over there, who have shown interest.”
My former co-worker, Drew, owns a partnership, also in the private sector, and has expressed his interest in taking on the business.
“It’s a big company to ship away. Why now?”
“The London and the Chicago firms are making twice as much three times over. It’s the most practical one to lose if I were to sell off any. If circumstance were different, I probably wouldn’t consider it just yet, but they’re not. I want more time to spend with Tamzin and the baby. I want to raise a family right, and know that I’ve witnessed my child grown up rather than having to say ‘sorry Daddy has to work’. That’s the most important thing here.”
He chuckles. “Jesus, Noel, Paris is hardly the other side of the world.”
“I know, but like I said, here and Chicago are making more. You cut down your workload when you had Ruby. Dad did the same when he had us and decreased it even more as years went by.”
“Dad decreased it in order to keep the family together after William died,” he shot back, still feeling the emptiness from losing our little brother in a hit and run, after all these years. I let the words settle, signalling the bartender for another round. It wasn’t tradition to reduce work hours when becoming a father, but no matter what, the Thompsons put one thing first way before any career or business: family. Losing William had been a massive strain on the family and in order to look after mum and their three remaining boy’s Dad had reduced his time in the office for more valuable time at home in the difficult circumstances. I respected him for that and now being a man, I respect him even more.
James studies me a moment. “Well I get it. It’s a big thing, and I’ll help out where I can, but if you’re sure it’s the right decision then why do I sense the hesitation?”
I pick at the label of my beer and exhale, frustration edging my veins. “You know when you have a gut feeling something isn’t right? I have that. Not about selling, that’s not even a question, but it’s something else. Something isn’t right out there: there’s this atmosphere. I felt uncomfortable in my own building. I mean what the fuck is that about?”
For me work has always been easy: I get on well with my co-workers and employ the best staff known to man. My work friends are like my extended family, but right now I feel like a fucking outsider.
“Are you sure you’re not just overlooking things? You’re living with a pregnant woman; it’s enough to drive any man crazy.”
I smirk. My head is all over the place at the moment. It’s only in line when Tamzin is beside me; that woman keeps me grounded. “Yeah, you’re, probably right.”
“I’m always right, but if you need help with anything you know where I am.”
“I might just take you up on that. But not a word to Tamzin. I don’t want her stressing.”
He nods. “Now, as I’ve been let out on good behaviour are you going to by me another beer or what?”
It’s nightfall and we’ve still not left the bar. Our conversation has led from work to women, which is followed by shots and whiskey chasers. James is a little wasted to say the least. I think he’s taken advantage of our afternoon bonding that doesn’t involve hyperactive kids and glitter parties.
“Fuck, what’s in that whiskey? I’m wasted.”
“You want me to call Karen? Get her to come for you?”
He grins wickedly, pointing his finger and looking at me with one eye. “She’ll be coming hard once I get my hands on her.”
I laugh. The state he’s in the only thing that will be coming hard will be the bathroom floor once he passes out on it. James has never been much of a drinker, especially when shots are involved. I stand to leave, taking my phone out my back pocket to ring Karen and let her know I’m putting James in a taxi rather than have her come out at this hour, when I see I’ve a message from my lady.
Tamzin: Come home. I want you naked.
Guilt hits my stomach when I notice it was sent over two hours ago, but that doesn’t stop the grin. My body aches for her and I’m seconds away from running out of the bar and leaving James here.
Me: On my way, angel.
“Sex texting again, little brother? You on a promise?”
“Come on,” I order, placing his arm around my neck to help him out. The streets are wet with ice rain as I place him in a taxi. I give the driver the address and I’m about to close the door when James cups my jaw.
“Thank you for letting me be your bitch for the evening. Merry Christmas, little brother. I love you,” he slurs.
“You’re a drunken arse, but I love you too. Now get home to your lady because I’m dying to see mine.”
“Take it while you can.”
I frown. “Take what?”
“The sex. After Ruby was born, I had months of making out with my hand. Take it while you can because after that you’ll be jerking off to the women on the cover of Zoo Magazine because your own is too tired.”
“Does Karen know you do that?” I laugh.
“Karen’s the one that buys them.”
Tamzin.
It’s after eleven when I hear Noel come through the door. I’m in the living room, tucking into a tub of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream watching Miracle on 34th Street in my long winter socks and silky night robe. The embers of what was a flickering fire give off a low heat, which is perfect for my current body temperature. I’m feeling the heat. Again. I’m surprised Noel’s lasted being out this long. He was restless again last night, tossing and turning in the bed before sitting upright and staring into space as though he’d been dreaming. But I can’t help but think something is troubling him.
“Shit, I’m a lucky man,” he murmurs, leaning against the doorframe with his head tipped to the side, hands in his pockets looking hot as hell. How does this man have the capability to still take my breath away like the first time I laid eyes on him? His tie is loose around his neck, his shirt half un-tucked and the top three buttons are unfastened to expose his collarbone and to give me a glimpse of his hard physique that makes my mouth water every time. He’s a sight for sore eyes and he’s all mine.
“Are you checking me out, Miss King?”
“Yes. I. Am.”
“Angel, have I told you how I just love seeing you in nothing but your winter socks and a silky robe that I can slide my hands over? Shit I’m a lucky man,” he repeats his original words.
He has told me countless times. I’ve often had to wear them for him throughout the year when we’ve been getting naughty around the house.
I push up on my elbows with a raised brow. “Are you drunk?”
“Nope. Yes. Maybe a little fest-tipsy.”
“Fest-tipsy?”
“A combination of festive cheer and alcohol. Fest-tipsy.” He moves towards me, a little stagger in his step. I can’t help but laugh and it occurs to me that in the two years we’ve been together, I’ve never seen him drunk.
“Looks like you had a nice time?”
“James is shit-faced,” he laughs.
Leaning over me, he rests his hands on the sofa either side of my head to capture my lips. He tastes of whiskey and cocktails but it doesn’t churn my stomach like I thought it would. As I press my hands on his chest to protect myself in case he falls, the cold coming from him channels through my veins.
“Noel, babe, you’re freezing. Did you not have a coat?”
“I left it in the office.”
“Come on, let’s get you warmed up.”
“Sounds perfect.” He smiles with a glee in his eyes, which causes me to roll mine. “What? You said you wanted me naked.”
“And I also wanted you sober.” I escape from under his arm and he dramatically falls to the sofa with a groan. Switching off the TV and Christmas lights, I pull on his leg. “Come on, I’ll make you a hot chocolate then we can go to bed and talk.”
“Talk? I’ve not seen you for like seventeen hours and you wanna talk? Don’t you wanna love my body?” He wiggles his eyebrows, walking towards me. “My cock here needs some attention.”
“And I’m sure you’ll both have plenty of fun without my input.” I leave him growling in frustration and make him a hot drink, dodging his cold hands and attempt to confine me against the unit. I leave him mumbling to himself and head to the bedroom, and slipping off my robe and socks to get under the covers. My body still aches after my long walk around town with Evie today. She took me dress shopping to try and find something for my maternity party. Now there’s an experience—dress shopping for a pregnant lady. If ever you want to know what it’s like to have a complete breakdown where you take all your pregnancy rage out on some poor girl that doesn’t look old enough to be in school, let alone working, then just take me to the city with a purse full of cash and a body full of hormones. Fuck me. I wanted to punch myself in the face from the way I behaved.
Evie still hasn’t informed Edward that she doesn’t want to spend Christmas with his mother. I would offer that she spends it with us but it’s our last Christmas as a couple before we become a family.
My attention is caught with Noel clearing his throat. When my eyes latch on to him, I burst out laughing. “What the hell are you doing?”
“I thought I’d give you a little entertainment,” he grins, standing there in nothing but his socks and a Santa hat, hard lines and muscle filling the doorway. “Wanna see a magic trick?” he says, on an enthusiastic exhale, walking around to his side of the bed.
“Do I have much choice in this?”
“I can make my dick grow with just you in mind, completely hands free. Wanna see?”
“You can show me all you like, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to fuck it back down again.”
His devilish laugh makes my stomach tighten, but to my surprise he decides to give up, pushing back the covers and getting into the bed beside me.
I grin. “Noel Thompson, I never had you down as a quitter.”
“Who said anything about quitting, angel? The night is still young, and we’re lying here naked. I can guarantee I’ll have you thoroughly fucked before dawn.”
“Sure about that?”
“Damn right, because you’re fucking me with your eyes right now. It’s just a matter of time.”
“I’m naked because I’m hot.”
“For me?” he kisses my collarbone.
“With hormones.” I scream out with a giggle when his cold hand grabs my inner thigh. “Shit, your hands are freezing.”
“Well, you see, if you were to help me warm up, we wouldn’t have this issue.”
“And if you hadn’t of drunk half your body weight in alcohol we wouldn’t be having this conversation.”
“I told you: I’m not drunk. I’m completely in control.”
I raise my brows. “Whatever. You’re still under the influence. Therefore, I’m not fucking you now, or later or even a little bit after that.”
He grins and again I raise my eyebrows, letting him know I’m not backing down for love nor money. He blows out and falls down to his back. “Fine, let’s talk.”
“I bought something for you today.”
“Is it toys I can use on you instead?”
“Nice try.” I take out the present I bought him this morning out of the drawer and turn back to him. It’s not Christmas related, nor is it especially for Christmas, but I saw it and it instantly brought warmth to my heart. Snuggling down under the duvet, our legs entwined as we face each other, resting on our arms. I place the small box between us but he makes no attempt to ask or open it.
“How did the dress shopping go?”
“Ugh, it was awful. I couldn’t fit into anything, and apparently they don’t stock whale size.”
He laughs, tucking my hair behind my ear. “You’re not whale size, angel.”
“I hope you’re satisfied. Your little swimmers have ruined my body.”
“Your body is perfect.” He brings his mouth to my lips to kiss me twice.
“And you’re such a liar.”
“I don’t lie. I love how your body is changing.” He kisses me again.
“You won’t love it when this little one arrives. I’m going to constantly smell of baby sick and when I laugh I’m likely to pee.”
“I love you,” he laughs, kissing me again only this time on the side of my neck. His hand cups my breast.
“Stop trying to seduce me it won’t work.”
“Ugh, you’re a hard woman to live with, Miss King, you know that.”
“And you say I’m the nymphomaniac,” I grin. His eyes fall to the box when I push it towards him. “I saw it today and I thought of you. I couldn’t not buy it; it’s just perfect for you.”
“Okay.” He’s intrigued and it doesn’t take him long before he grabs the box and opens it with excitement in his eyes. Once he pulls back the paper, I hear his breath hitch. Laid heavy in the black velvet box, is a round stone coloured pebble etched with wording that fits the way I feel about this man perfectly, and I know our baby will feel the same once it grows up knowing it’s daddy. There is no denying how much Noel means to me. I’m not an easy person to live with at the best of times, but sometimes this pregnancy has kicked me in the arse and I take out my frustrations on him when it’s not needed. He is my heart. He is my world. He is my everything.
I smile, overwhelmed at his silence as he runs his finger over the wording. Daddy. To the world you might be one person. But to me you are the world.
“Tamzin,” he whispers, studying it in great length and when I lift his chin I’m hit with his glassy eyes.
Taking his hand, I place it on my stomach.
“I know the wording is related more to being a father but the words are how I feel about you too. I love you with everything that I am, and I know this tiny human will too. I can already feel it. You mean so much to the both of us and I can’t wait to watch you be a father. Promise me that whatever happens our baby will know that they have you no matter what life throws at them. That whatever happens with us they’ll always have their daddy?”
In a flash, he shifts me onto my back and leans over me, taking my jaw softly with one hand while his free arm cages me, looking deep into my eyes. His gorgeous browns are dilated yet compelling, full of awe and love, but I can’t help but notice the edge of worry behind them, as if what I’ve said has panicked him somehow. His tone becomes serious, yet it isn’t the intensity of his stare that causes my chest to tighten, it’s the words that follow.
“I’m not in a place in life where I can do this unless you’re standing by me, Tamzin. I can’t do this on my own. I’ll do anything and everything within my power to protect you both. Okay?”
Even though I know this, his words make me anxious. I don’t understand what he’s saying, why would he be on his own? That’s not what I was meaning and it hurts like hell just imagining a life without him. I place my hands on his chest, trying to find my words when he continues. “Answer me, angel. You know I’ll do anything for you? Anything to protect you?” His words are desperate and meaningful. I know he’ll protect me, it’s all he’s ever done since the day I met him.
I nod. “I know.”
He watches his thumb sweep over my lips, a little frown in his brow before his mouth brushes against mine with a feather-like kiss. “I love you, Tamzin King.” He whispers against me. “I love you so damn much.”
I don’t have chance to respond. His kiss is full of so much passion it steals my breath. My insides tingle with warmth and I spam my hands on his muscular back to bring him closer. His hand is flat on my stomach as our tongues dance in long delicate strokes, with a kiss that is wrapped with pure love and adoration, making my body awaken in a way I don’t think I’ve ever experienced. Two years together, and he still has the ability to knock me off kilter. I know Noel loves me; he doesn’t have to say or do anything to provide me with that recognition because I feel it deep in my soul.
Our heart is one.
Our love is pure. Unconditional and something I’m desperate to hold onto.