Chapter 28
Josie
“Josie.” The soft voice came again, this time closer. “Josie, let me help you.”
Squeezing my hands into fists, I didn’t respond to Alex’s quiet pleading. She’d been checking in on me for several hours now, throughout the entire night. Each time she got a little bolder, going from knocking on the door to eventually getting a key and opening it and coming into the room. This time she’d bent down and touched my shoulders.
And I still didn’t respond.
I couldn’t.
Alex left the room, and I stayed where I had been since Seth had…since he left. I stayed curled on the spot he’d knelt on.
I guess Alex knew what had happened.
Or they’d heard me screaming earlier.
More likely that Apollo had gotten in contact with them. I didn’t know.
None of this felt real. None of it except the pain. That was too raw and too consuming for it not to be real. And there was no escaping it.
I couldn’t move. I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t think about anything other than Seth—other than the first time I’d seen him and the first time I’d heard him speak and then the first time he’d kissed me.
Those moments played over and over, chronicling every minute I’d spent with him and how every second we’d been apart now seemed like such wasted time.
And I cried.
I cried so much I didn’t think it was possible for a person to produce that many tears, and just when I thought I’d cried myself out, I would think of his last words, how he thanked me and said he loved me, and then I’d start crying all over again. My eyes were swollen. My throat burned and my head felt like it was thick, but the tears were endless.
The pain was endless.
As I lay there, staring at the dagger, I thought about the dream I kept having. The one where I wore a white dress and I’d been…I’d been dying.
The dream hadn’t been about me.
It had gotten some things right. The white dress. I was wearing that. The tears. They would not stop falling. The numbness. Beyond the pain and grief, there was just a vast nothingness. But in my dream, it had been me dying, covered with blood. In reality, it had been Seth and there had been no blood.
My prophetic abilities sucked.
Uncurling one arm, I slid my hand down the front of my dress, to my stomach. I closed my eyes again. I don’t know how much time went by, but there was another knock on the door and then I heard a different voice call out this time.
“Josie?” Deacon was in the room, inching closer.
A few moments passed and then I felt his light touch on my shoulder, and I opened my eyes. I stared at the dagger.
Deacon sat behind me. He reached down, brushing aside the stands of hair that had come free from my braid.
I took a breath and it scorched my throat. “Seth’s…he’s gone.”
“I know.” Deacon’s voice was hoarse. He continued to smooth his hand over my hair.
“It wasn’t supposed to be this way.” The dagger began to blur. “None of this. It was supposed to be the demigods and me who defeated the Titans. That was the whole point of everything.” Anger burned low in my chest. “That was why…Seth was sent to get me. That was why we found Gable and Cora and Erik, but none of that matters.”
“It still matters,” he replied. “We may not be using them to entomb the Titans, but we saved them from the Titans. You saved them.” He paused. “Seth saved them.”
My heart squeezed. Deacon was right. Retrieving the demigods hadn’t been pointless. We’d made sure they didn’t face the same fate that the other demigods had faced.
Knowing that didn’t lessen any of the pain, though. A shudder rolled through me. “I can’t believe he’s gone.”
Deacon bent down, resting his forehead on the side of my head.
“This can’t be happening,” I said, shaking. “I keep thinking this is a nightmare. That I’m going to wake up and all of this will just be a nightmare.”
“I know,” he murmured, throwing an arm around my waist. “It doesn’t seem real. Seth was…” His voice cracked a little. “He deserved so much more than this.”
Another tremor rocked me. “He did—oh, God, he did, but I…” I hated saying the next words. “I don’t think he knew that. I don’t think he ever did.”
“He didn’t.”
I squeezed my eyes shut against the rising tears. “I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to get over this.”
“You don’t.” Deacon lifted his head. “I never got over the death of my parents or Solos or Caleb, but it’s gotten easier. It’s gotten better.”
My chest ached like it had been ripped open. I couldn’t think of a day when this was going to feel better. When this wouldn’t hurt like a raw wound.
“I’m not going to ask if you’re okay,” Deacon said after a moment. “I know you’re not, but I’m here for you. We all are here for you, Josie.”
“I know,” I whispered.
Deacon folded his hand over mine. “You haven’t lost him. Not really. You’re always, always going to have your memories, and most importantly, you’re going to have this.” He gently pressed on my hand, flattening my palm against my stomach. “You’re going to have his child, Josie. You’re always going to have a part of him. Don’t lose sight of that.”
God.
Deacon was right again, and in a way, that hurt more than anything, because I would have my memories of Seth. I would have a piece of him, but all our child would have would be what I had to share about Seth, and while that had to be enough, it wasn’t going to be.
Seth had deserved to know his child.
And our child deserved to know him.
~
The gods responded fifteen hours, forty-three minutes, and fifteen seconds from the exact moment I said goodbye to the only man I loved. It was only then that I rose from the floor and showered, taking my time to change into pants and a shirt—Seth’s shirt. It had been the one he’d worn the day before, and it still smelled like him. I pulled my hair into a ponytail.
Upon returning to the bedroom, I couldn’t look at the bed that was still disheveled from our lovemaking. The dagger was where it had fallen. I took a breath and then walked over to it. I picked it up as my gaze fell to the spot where Seth had knelt. Part of me kept expecting him to reappear, run to me and pull me into his arms.
It didn’t happen.
A knock on the door drew my attention. Placing the dagger on the dresser, I went to the door. It was Alex. There were shadows under her puffy eyes.
“Hey,” she said, and then she sprung forward, throwing her arms around me. She hugged me tight. “I’m so sorry, Josie. Gods, I’m so sorry.”
I think I murmured something, but I have no idea what I said. When Alex pulled back, I had to look away from the fresh tears in her eyes. I wasn’t the only person experiencing the grief tearing me apart inside. Alex had known Seth longer than me. The two of them had a weird history, but they were like two sides of the same coin.
“I don’t know what to say.” She stepped back.
Pressing my lips together, I shook my head. A moment passed before I could trust myself to speak. “I don’t think there’s anything anyone can say.” My voice sounded hoarse and unused. “There’s a god here.”
Alex wiped at her cheek as she nodded and cleared her throat. “Yes. He’s waiting in our room.”
Tension crept into my muscles as I faced her. “It’s my father?”
“Yes.”
Drawing in a shuddering breath, I turned away. “I guess we shouldn’t keep him waiting.”
“Josie…”
“It’s okay.” I started walking toward their room.
She caught up to me easily. “But it’s not okay.”
I closed my eyes, stopping. It took a second to respond. “I know. It’s not. It’s far from okay, but I have to be right now.”
When I opened my eyes, she was staring at the floor. “All right,” she said finally. “Let’s go.”
I wasn’t ready to see anyone, especially my father. I was furious just thinking about him, but I was mostly just hurt. So damn hurt. Some of it was irrational. He hadn’t been able to stop this? To suggest something better? Then there was the fact I suspected that he’d known how this would end with Seth. He’d known all along.
Alex opened the door and the first person I saw was Aiden. His silvery gaze was somber as it landed on me. He didn’t say anything as he came forward. His hug was nearly as tight as Alex’s, and when he let go, he cupped the sides of my face, holding my gaze to his.
“He loved you and this child in the purest and most powerful way.” He caught a tear that had snuck free, wiping it away with his thumb. “And you made him into a person capable of that kind of love. Don’t forget that.”
My lip trembled as I swallowed down the knot in my throat. “I won’t.”
Aiden bent his head and kissed my forehead. Luke was there the moment he stepped back, folding his arms around me. He said something to me, but I couldn’t hear it over my pounding heart. I scanned the room as he stepped back, my gaze connecting with eyes identical to mine.
Apollo stood in the corner.
I slipped free from Luke, unable to look away from my father.
He didn’t move as he met my gaze. “I know I am the last person you want to see and what I’m about to say doesn’t change what you’ve gone through, but I am truly sorry for the pain you’re feeling.”
I opened my mouth, but I didn’t have the words. Actually, I did, but if I spoke them, I would scream them—I would scream until my lungs caved in. I couldn’t afford that right now.
Not when I knew why Apollo was here.
Dragging my gaze from his, I watched Luke sit next to a quiet Deacon. “Have you got the—whatever they’re called? The giants?”
“Not yet,” Apollo answered. “But that’s why I’m here. I want to let you know that we will defeat the Titans. By the time the sun sets tonight, they will be entombed.”
All that was good to know… Wait. “I’m going with you guys.”
Apollo opened his mouth. “I don’t think—”
“What you think really doesn’t matter,” I said, my tone harsh—harsher than I even wanted it, but I wasn’t in the mood to be told what to do by anyone. “I am going.”
Deacon shifted forward. “Are you sure you are ready for something like this?”
Valid question, since he’d spent the better part of the day lying on the floor with me. “I have to see this through.”
Alex and Aiden exchanged a look and I knew they were gearing up for a discussion listing all the logical reasons why I should stay behind.
“You don’t understand. I need to see this through.” I curled my hands into fists as I looked around the room. “I need to see what Seth gave his life for.”
“Okay,” Alex said not even a second after I finished speaking. “You’re going.”
Apollo’s gaze shot to her.
“Don’t even argue with me,” Alex snapped. “Josie needs to go, and she’s going to go.”
He looked away, jaw hard.
“We can hold off, though. This can wait until you’re ready,” Aiden offered. “We don’t have to do this right now.”
“But there are probably still pures alive in that community. The longer we wait, the more likely it is they won’t survive this. The Titans probably aren’t expecting us to return so quickly. If anything, they’d been expecting…Seth, and not us.” I forced myself to breathe through the pain centering in my chest. “The longer we wait, there’s a chance they could find out what Seth has done and prepare.”
“Is that a possibility?” Aiden asked of Apollo.
His bright blue eyes fixed on mine. “Anything is possible.”
That wasn’t true.
If anything was possible, Seth would be standing here with me. He wouldn’t be—
I cut those thoughts off with a shake of my head and squared my shoulders. “Let’s get this done.”
Apollo lowered his chin. “Do you have the dagger?”
“It’s in my room.”
His gaze lifted to mine. “We’re going to need it.”
~
If I was being honest with myself, I needed this distraction. Not that it wasn’t about the pures who could still be alive in the community. I wanted to get this over with because of them, but I also…I needed this.
I needed to see this through.
We arrived just inside the gates, the five of us. Deacon stayed behind to keep an eye on the other demigods.
The first thing I noticed was how eerily quiet the community was. Looking behind me, I saw the tall stone gate and I could hear the distant sounds of traffic and life, but in here?
It was like a grave.
“Was it like this before?” I asked.
Aiden nodded and started walking. “Yes. But there were shades here before. We need to be careful.”
Luke and Alex flanked both of my sides as we walked past the empty playground and turned onto what I was guessing was the main street. It wasn’t like Seth had told me.
The streets had been cleared. No abandoned cars or bodies.
And there were definitely people here.
They sat on the outdoor patios and at the dining tables, and lounged on the corners of the streets. Dozens of people.
And I used the term “people” loosely.
I breathed in deeply, stomach churning at the distinctive musky scent that saturated the air.
They all turned at the same exact moment, their eyes like pools of oil.
Alex unsheathed her daggers. “I’m guessing it wasn’t quite like this last time.”
“No.” Aiden did the same.
I clutched the dagger Zeus had given Seth while Luke palmed a Glock.
“So, when are we going to summon these giant people?” Luke asked under his breath as the shades stood and faced us.
“Soon,” Apollo murmured.
I was hoping soon was really soon, because these shades were giving me the creeps. They were all just standing there, staring, and the silence became deafening.
One of the shades, who must’ve been a middle-aged pure-blood, moved. He stepped off the sidewalk. Luke’s thumb glided over the handgrip of the Glock.
The man cocked his head to the side and then he took off, running straight at us at an inhuman speed. I started to lift my free hand, prepared to tap into akasha, but Apollo snapped his fingers.
The man imploded.
Like sucked right into himself and crumpled.
Alex lowered her dagger as both of us looked at him. “Really?” she said, mouth dropping open. “That’s how you get rid of shades?”
He arched a brow. “How else would I?”
Now my mouth was hanging open. “Seriously? This entire time and all you had to do was snap your fingers?”
“Why, yes. All gods can.”
I frowned. “Seth can’t—” I sucked in a sharp breath as I realized I’d said that in the present tense. “Seth couldn’t do that.”
An emotion flickered across Apollo’s face, but it was gone before I could figure out what it was. “He would’ve been able to. If he had had more time to learn.”
If he had had more time…
My hand tightened around the dagger. It felt like I’d just stabbed myself in the chest.
Apollo’s head suddenly swung back around as the ground trembled under our feet. Energy poured into the street. Goosebumps erupted all over my arms. The air began to warp, and I saw the blue Mohawk first.
Fury exploded inside me. That Titan had done terrible, horrific things, and he wasn’t alone. The female Titan appeared behind Oceanus, and my lip curled back with a snarl.
She had destroyed Long Beach.
She had made Seth feel like shit.
I wanted to kill them both.
Oceanus smirked as he eyed my father. “This is an interesting development.”
“He came here to die.” Tethys laughed. “In front of his daughter. Cute.”
Oceanus looked the rest of us over. “But where is—”
“Now, Josie,” Apollo commanded.
Sending him a brief glance, I did what he’d instructed me to do earlier. I stalked forward, and then I let all that anger and hurt and fucking despair empower me. Meeting Oceanus’s stare, I swung the dagger high and then brought it down, letting out a scream as I slammed the dagger into the asphalt with everything I had in me.
The dagger cut through the cement and stone, sinking deep. I saw Oceanus’s eyes widen in surprise. I saw him mouth one word.
No.
I smiled.
The force of what I’d done came back up, thrusting through the asphalt and up the length of the blade. It slammed into me, knocking me backward and flat on my ass.
The blade shot into the air, where it vibrated and then stilled. It hovered as if an invisible hand held it. Then it exploded into a million fine pieces, nothing more than dust.
“Was that supposed to happen?” Luke asked.
Apollo widened his stance. “Just wait.”
Eyes wide, I shoved myself up onto my feet. Behind Tethys, the air warped once more and my breath got lodged in my throat as Cronus appeared.
“What have you done?” he asked, that pitch-black gaze burning mine. “What has he done?”
The shades threw their heads back and howled. Their screams sent chills down my spine.
“That’s not creepy or anything.” Alex shuddered. “When are those—?”
The shades charged.
Alex and Aiden shot forward, catching the first wave of shades. Alex slammed the hilt of a Covenant dagger deep into the chest of the first shade. Aiden spun like a graceful dancer, releasing his sickle blade. It caught the shade under the chin. With one clean strike, the head went in one direction and the body went in another. Luke started unloading, striking one shade after another, in the centers of their foreheads.
One blew past Alex, gunning straight for me. Newly honed instinct took over. I lifted my hand and tapped into akasha. Every cell in my body sparked alive as power flowed from my core. A bolt of charged energy arced from my palm, smacking into the center of the shade’s chest. It flew backward, past Oceanus.
It started as a tremor, like a train was running nearby, but the tremor grew until it became hard to stand. The shades stopped attacking, their screams fading as they stared at the ground. Unbalanced, I threw my arms out as I looked at Apollo.
“Please tell me this is supposed to happen.”
Apollo nodded.
The street swelled as if some great pressure was pushing it up. We stumbled back as the street collapsed, settling. The road was cracked, and all I could hear was Luke’s ragged breathing.
Chunks of asphalt spewed into the air, mowing down the shades who hadn’t been wise enough to back away. Dust blanketed the sky, and out of the floating dirt came a hand.
A hand that was about the size of my torso.
Aiden threw an arm out, shielding Alex. “Holy…”
“Daimon balls,” Alex whispered.
Another hand smacked down on the ground, rattling the buildings. A large, soot-covered head appeared. It came out of the torn street, a massive creature that had to be more than twenty feet tall.
I really hoped there weren’t any helicopters flying nearby because there’d be no hiding this guy.
My eyes nearly popped out of my head as my gaze drifted down, and I immediately wished I hadn’t.
“Whoa,” Alex murmured.
The giant was buck-ass naked.
Another set of hands came out of the torn ground. A second giant joined the first and then a third appeared.
Aaand all of them were naked.
“I guess they don’t make clothing big enough for them?” she asked, and a small, hysterical-sounding giggle escaped me.
Oceanus shouted something and then turned. The shades rushed forward, toward the giants. Some fell into the hole in the street. Others were smarter, going around the rift. They swarmed the giants, attacking their legs and climbing up.
Apollo cocked his head to the side and then sighed. “He always has to make a fashionable late entrance.”
A fissure of pure energy shot down the road. Static crackled, and my heart nearly stopped in my chest. Behind Cronus, a column of shimmering blue light appeared. When it faded, Zeus stood there.
“Where do you think you’re going?” He smiled as lightning crackled from his palms and wind blew the strands of his hair.
Cronus drew up short. “Not again.”
“History does have a habit of repeating itself.” Zeus smiled.
“Look!” Aiden shouted.
Black dots appeared in the sky above us, circling and swirling, coming closer and closer to the ground with each cycle. They weren’t dots. They were large winged creatures.
“Furies.” Luke cursed.
Before we had a chance to run for cover, they carpet-bombed the shades trying to slow down the giants, snatching them up with their clawed feet and throwing them into the air. Oily blood arced out, dotting the broken ground. A shadow passed over me and the ground shook as a furie landed directly in front of me.
I gasped. “Erin?”
The furie winked. I barely recognized her features, but it was her in her true form. “Be right back.”
Using powerful legs, she launched into the sky. Within seconds, she had a shade in her grip. I stared at her, shocked that she was, in fact, very much alive.
My father hadn’t lied about that, at least.
The first giant broke free from the shades and rushed forward, each step jarring the earth. It was heading straight for Tethys.
A burst of white light shot from Apollo, striking Tethys in the back. She stumbled. She didn’t fall, but Apollo had cornered her. Zeus was doing the same, hitting Cronus over and over with lightning.
Apollo and Zeus weren’t killing the Titans. They were trapping them, not allowing them to escape.
Alex walked past me and picked up an overturned bench. She sat down, plopping her cheek on her fist.
“Getting comfortable?” Aiden asked.
She lifted a shoulder. “Not like they need our help.”
“For once.” A rare grin appeared on Luke’s face as he watched one of the giants snatch up Tethys in a meaty hand. The female Titan shrieked and flailed, but she was not getting free. “It’s about time.”
The four of us were actually on the sidelines as Apollo and Zeus, along with the furies, took over. I couldn’t help but think if Seth were here, he would’ve passed out from seeing this.
A sad smile tugged at my lips. He wouldn’t even believe what he was seeing. That finally, after all this time, after all the deaths and the sacrifices, Zeus was down here, fighting.
And all it took was Seth…sacrificing himself.
The knot of raw emotion expanded in my chest as I lowered my hand to my stomach.
The final battle lasted maybe minutes. Corralled into one area, it took nothing for the giants to capture each of the Titans. They held them in their hands, and from where I stood, the Titans looked like screaming children as they were taken back into the tear in the road. Cronus was the last to go, his screams of rage overshadowed by the screams of the shades as the furies took them out, sucking them down their throats as they tried to escape the bodies they’d possessed.
“Do you think they get indigestion from that?” Alex asked.
I thought that was a valid question.
The ground trembled once more as Zeus walked forward. As he neared the rift, he waved his hand over it. Shimmery blue light settled over the tear like a million fireflies. The road…repaired itself. Stone and cement churned, spreading over the tear, and within seconds it was like giants had not just crawled out from there. Even the yellow paint marking the lanes was flawless.
“That could come in handy,” Luke murmured under this breath, and then he quieted as Zeus approached us. Even Alex sat up straight and then rose to her feet.
“They will take the Titans back to their tombs, where Hades is awaiting their return,” Zeus explained, and then looked over his shoulder. “The furies will hunt down the rest of the shades. A few have escaped, but they have no place to run.”
Alex opened her mouth, but for once, nothing came out of it.
Zeus looked at me. “It is over, Josie.”
It was.
I don’t know what I was expecting to feel. A sense of completion? Relief? Righteousness? As if knowing Seth’s sacrifice wasn’t for nothing was suddenly going to lessen the burden of facing a…a possible eternity without him?
But I felt…I felt nothing.
I looked over Zeus’s shoulder, and I didn’t see any of the furies. I saw my father. He was staring back at me.
“This was because of him,” Zeus said quietly, drawing my attention. “He made this possible, and you will understand one day why this had to be this way.”
“I will never understand.” Tearing my gaze away from Zeus, I shuddered as I faced my father. “I want to go…home.”