Chapter 29
Josie ~ Two months later
“Kyría, is there anything I can do for you?”
Sitting in the sand, I lifted my gaze from the frothy waves and squinted. Basil stood beside me. “What did I tell you, Basil?”
His brows pinched. “To stop…waiting on you?”
“Yes.” I nodded for extra emphasis. “You’re not my servant. None of you here are my servants.”
Since Apollo brought me here after the showdown with the Titans, Basil and every person—er, priest and priestess—who lived here treated me like a queen who had finally come home.
Which was a good thing in the beginning, especially when I first walked into the bedroom that I’d shared with Seth and had an utter breakdown. If it hadn’t been for Basil and the priestess named Karina, I don’t think I would’ve made it to the bed. And as much as it shamed me to admit it, if it hadn’t been for them making sure I ate during those first dark days here, I would’ve just stayed in that bed, wasting away.
And if it weren’t for the child I carried inside me that was what I would’ve done. Withered up and died when the pain of losing Seth was fresh, like it happened yesterday.
Except, with the help of those who lived here and my friends, I did get out of that bed, and even though there were days when I wanted nothing more than to give up, I didn’t.
I was still here.
I was going to be here.
“But we wish to serve you,” Basil said, and he’d only said that about a million times.
“I know, but it’s…weird.”
Basil stared at me like he couldn’t process how that was weird. He then changed the subject. Like he always did when we had this conversation. “We stocked the pantry and fridge this morning. We did not forget those cheese snacks this time.”
A grin pulled at my lips. He was talking about Cheetos. “Erin is sure to appreciate that.”
He smiled brightly. “I am pleased to hear that. Does Erin plan to stay long this time?”
“I’m not sure. I guess it depends on her being…summoned.”
Basil nodded with understanding. Erin had been here since the moment Apollo had brought me here. Besides the happiness of being able to reconnect with her, her presence came in handy. She also had the nifty ability of easy transportation, able to take me wherever I needed to go.
That was how I got to my first appointment with the OBGYN in New York. The appointment had been equally amazing and depressing, and Erin had been there through it all.
Just like Basil and Karina.
Sometimes I wondered why they were still here.
I bit down on my lip as I looked out at the ocean. “Can I ask you something?”
“Anything, Kyría.”
“Why are you all still here?” I asked, wincing at how bad the question sounded. “I mean, I’m happy that everyone is here. I don’t know what I would’ve done without you all, but Seth is… He’s gone, and you all were here because of him.”
Basil knelt beside me, and when I looked at him, his gaze held mine. “Just because he is not here with us does not mean he is gone. He is the God of Life and he is the God of Death. This is just a moment in that cycle.”
What he said was confusing as hell, but none of the staff here, or the priests and priestesses behaved as if Seth was…dead. They acted as if he was just on vacation or something. Like he was coming back.
But Seth wasn’t coming back.
I knew this, because if Seth was coming back, he would’ve done it by now. He wouldn’t be out there and not be with me. He wouldn’t have missed the first real doctor’s visit. He wouldn’t have left me like this.
Knowing all of that, there was a still a part of me that was just like everyone here.
Waiting for Seth to return. Like he was simply gone and not dead.
Basil lightly touched my arm, and I blinked, refocusing on him. I realized that he’d been talking. “I’m sorry. I kind of zoned out there.”
“It’s okay, Kyría.” The man was the definition of patience. “We’re also here because of you. We want you to know that. We are your family, not by blood but what exists in here.” He thumped his fist off his chest. “And family of the heart and soul does not leave. No matter what.”
~
“Tacos or wings? This is an important decision, so don’t say I don’t care.” Erin stood in the massive kitchen, holding a package of soft taco shells in one hand and uncooked chicken wings in the other. “Wait. Can pregnant ladies eat chicken wings and tacos?”
I laughed as I poured myself a glass of freshly squeezed orange juice. “As long as it’s cooked properly, yes, I can eat it.”
She lowered the taco shells as she eyed the bag of chicken. “I think chicken is probably a healthier choice.”
Closing the door, I walked over to the island and hopped on the bar stool. “Not sure chicken wings ever constitute a healthy choice.”
“If it’s baked, it’s healthy.”
“I don’t think that’s how that works.”
She frowned as she put the chicken into the fridge. “Why not?”
“Because there’s a lot of stuff that’s baked that is terrible for you.”
“Name one.”
“Cookies. Pies. Cake. Lasagna—”
“You’re a life-ruiner,” she interrupted, grinning. “We’ll do chicken wings and a salad.”
I took a sip of my juice as she came over to the island and sat beside me. “How was everything at the University?”
Erin had popped over there earlier to scope things out. “Still no fighting, even with all the students back in class.”
“No incidents?”
“None.” She crossed one leg over the other. “Maybe Deacon and Luke are onto something. They think it has to do with my sisters making an appearance. Many of the pures have never seen a furie before. Could’ve been a wake-up call to get their life right.”
It was hard to think of those entombed furies as Erin’s sisters, because of what they had done to Colin. Erin was nothing like them.
The last time Erin had swung by the campus, Marcus had let her know that he’d heard back from one of his contacts and had gotten the profile of the pures who’d be likely involved in the crimes against the halfs. Several interviews had gone down, but there hadn’t been any breakthroughs.
“This is good news, though.” I ran my finger along the rim of the glass. “At least it seems safe for the students there.”
“It does, but…” Erin sighed when I glanced over at her. “I don’t know. I feel like we’re missing something, and I’m not taking about your friend’s body, either.”
I shifted my gaze from her. Every square inch of that campus had been searched for Colin’s body and nothing had been found. I feared what happened to him was going to be one of those mysteries that were never solved.
“Anyway,” Erin said, nudging me with her arm. “Cora and Gable are a thing now.”
“Really? That’s good.”
“Yep.”
Come to think of it, I wasn’t entirely surprised. Gable was always staring at her when they were around each other. “How’s Erik doing?”
Erin rolled her eyes. “Good, I guess? I can’t stand his arrogant ass longer than five minutes at a time to really know how he’s doing, but the three of them seem to be fitting in at the University.”
I arched my brow at her, thinking her reaction to Erik was a little strong. I was happy to hear that they were doing well there. Even though there was no threat to them, they needed to learn about their heritage and what abilities they did have.
“Alex and Aiden’s time is almost up,” she continued. “They’re having a going-away party and they really, really want to see you before they go.”
I nodded, unsure of how to answer. Talking about visiting everyone was about as fun as talking about my father, who I hadn’t seen since he brought me here.
Erin was quiet for a long moment. “Everyone misses you.”
Uncomfortable with where this conversation was going, I looked away. “I miss them too.”
“Do you?”
“Yes.” And I did miss everyone.
“Then why haven’t you’ve gone to see them? Or had me bring them over here again?”
I opened my mouth, but anything I was about to say died on the tip of my tongue. Erin knew why. The last time I’d seen Alex and Aiden, they’d been here, along with Luke and Deacon, and they wanted to talk about a funeral for Seth.
We’d had one for Colin even though there’d been no body, about two weeks after the Titans were entombed. Then about a week later, Alex had broached the topic of doing one for Seth.
“I know it’s not something any of us wants to think about,” Aiden had said. “But it will help give closure. Not just to you, but to everyone else.”
I’d shut down.
“They’re not going to push the whole funeral thing.” The fact she knew what I was thinking about was evidence of how well she knew me. “You know that, right?”
“I know.” Picking up my juice, I took a long drink. It was time to be honest. “I just feel bad.”
Her dark brows knitted together. “For what?”
“Being selfish, for starters.” I dropped my elbow onto the island and planted my forehead into my palm. “I know they need to say goodbye to him, and a funeral is closure. They need it, and I’m holding them back.”
Which was proof that I hadn’t entirely accepted that Seth was gone.
“You’re not holding anyone back. Having a funeral isn’t necessary,” Erin argued.
“I know that, but doesn’t Seth deserve that? The remembrance? The recognition?”
“What do you think Seth would’ve wanted?”
“Not a funeral.” I shoved my fingers through my hair as I squeezed my eyes shut and coughed out a harsh laugh. “He’d rather have people have a massive fight in his honor.”
Erin snorted. “Sounds like him.”
“I just don’t know.” I dragged my hand down my face. Guilt and unease churned inside me. Thank God I still hadn’t gotten any of the typical pregnancy symptoms other than feeling tired. I was already causing my stomach to be upset enough without hurling every morning. “I just…I miss him.”
Erin leaned into me, resting her chin on my shoulder. “It’s okay to miss him. You’re going to for a long time.”
The backs of my eyes burned. “I don’t want to feel like this forever.”
“You won’t.” Throwing an arm around my shoulders, she squeezed me. “I promise.”
I smiled at her, but I wasn’t sure it would ever change. Maybe I really need to let go. To move on. And maybe…just maybe doing something like the funeral was the right thing to do.
At this point, I was willing to try anything, because I needed to get better before this child made its entrance. I had to. Because I didn’t want to repeat history. I didn’t want to become my mom, emotionally and mentally absent.
I had to get it together.
~
Later that night, after a rather ridiculously long bath where I might’ve dosed off, I checked myself out in the standing mirror tucked into the corner of the massive bathroom.
I was starting to show.
The corners of my lips tipped up as I twisted to the side. My stomach had never been flat and it sure as hell wasn’t now. There was a slight bump, like a food baby, but that wasn’t what it was even though I ate more wings than any one person should ever consume.
Splaying my hands across my belly, I exhaled roughly as the image of Seth formed in my head before I could stop it. I could almost see him in the mirror, standing behind me, his hands where mine were. He’d kiss my cheek, tell me I was beautiful, and then kiss my stomach before showing me just how beautiful he thought I was.
I turned from the mirror and grabbed the shirt off the sink. It was one of Seth’s. Just a plain white shirt. When I slipped it on, it reached my thighs and wasn’t the most attractive sleepwear, but it was Seth’s.
It wasn’t that late, but I climbed into bed anyway. Throwing the covers over my legs, I rolled onto my side and watched the ocean breeze lift the curtains. My mind wandered, and when it started to linger on the conversations with Erin and Basil, I switched gears.
Baby room.
I knew exactly which room I wanted to decorate. Seth’s childhood room. Right now, it was dark and rarely visited, but I thought using that room would breathe new life into it. Erase the years of loneliness that clung to the walls. I thought Seth would approve of the choice.
When I had my next appointment with the OBGYN, I hoped I might be able to learn if I was having a boy or girl. My lower lip trembled as I thought about the game Seth and I used to play. I closed my eyes. I still played it. Every night since the last time.
My voice was thick as I said, “Boy or girl?”
“Boy.”
A jolt ran through my entire body in response to the deep voice, and my heart cracked wide open because it was a voice I’d never hear again—a voice I’d give almost anything to hear again.
Which meant I was now hearing things. Great. That was all I needed.
The bed suddenly shifted. My eyes flew open…and the world stopped moving.
Time stopped.
Even my heart seemed to have ceased beating for a full ten seconds. Then it picked back up in rapid succession. I couldn’t catch my breath, couldn’t believe what I was seeing.
He sat beside me, head lowered but the features painfully unmistakable. Perfect. Beautiful. Loved. Golden-colored hair brushed his shoulders. The curve of his jaw was hard and firm. Cheekbones I’d touched and kissed in what seemed like a different life were the same.
Light exploded inside me. A rush of emotions pulsed through me, stunning me into silence and immobility. Happiness, disbelief, love, fear, and confusion all warred to take center stage.
It was him.
Or I was also having visual hallucinations now.
That was possible.
But he looked real.
I inhaled sharply, rising up on my elbow as I caught the scent of lush spice and the crisp smell of fall.
He smelled real.
“Seth?” I whispered.
Those well-formed lips curved into a smile. “Psychí mou.”
He sounded real.
I was moving before I even realized it, before I let the impossibility of the situation take hold. I threw myself at him, and dear Lord, if he wasn’t really there, I was going to end up on the floor, but there was no stopping me.
Warm, strong arms swept around my waist, stopping me from toppling off the bed. My legs were tangled in the blanket, but I was flat against his chest, my hands on his shoulders.
He felt real.
My vision blurred as I stared at his face. “Is it really you? Are you really here?”
“It’s really me,” he said, those amber eyes luminous. “And I’m really here.”