Eighteen
 

Mary woke to the warmth of sunshine on her face and the scent of flowers in her nose. She stretched like a lazy cat in the sun. Surely it must be a sin to feel this good? Opening her eyes, she discovered the source of the smell. A small sprig of lavender lay on the pillow beside her. She smiled, bringing it to her nose to inhale the delicate fragrance.

Aware that the source of her gift was watching her from across the room, where he stood by the basin with a razor in his hand, she lifted a brow. “Flowers today?”

The first morning, he’d surprised her with a warm bath. The second, with a pretty ribbon (she didn’t have the heart to tell him it was one of her own). The third, with a batch of her favorite sugared buns that she’d mentioned the day before. And today it was flowers.

As if his seductive passion at night wasn’t hard enough to resist, now she had to contend with his courtship during the day. But even knowing it was only a contest to him, and that the attention wouldn’t last, she couldn’t help but be amused—and touched. More than she wanted to admit. She’d never put much store in romantic gestures before, but she could not deny the spur in her heart. The gestures might be speciously motivated, but they were not without thought.

“Do you like them?” He frowned. “I know you mentioned pink roses were your favorite, but given my recent allegiance I wasn’t sure that would be wise.”

“I should think not.” The pink rose had become a subversive symbol of Bruce sympathizers after Isabella MacDuff, the Countess of Buchan, had worn one in her cloak on her way to be imprisoned in a cage. Unwittingly, Mary shivered and pushed the image away. She knew how close she’d come to sharing such a fate. But that was all behind her now. “They’re perfect,” she said, inhaling the small bouquet again. “Don’t tell me you picked them yourself?”

He lowered the blade from where it had been scraping against his jaw—a very hard, very masculine jaw—and grimaced. “I wish I had. I sent my squire to find them. My squire who has yet to learn to keep his mouth shut.”

She tried to bite back her smile. “Damaged your fierce reputation, did he?”

“More than you can imagine,” he said dryly.

Mary sobered. “You don’t have to do this, you know—whatever it is you’re doing.”

Their eyes met and held. For longer every time. Just as it was becoming harder to drag her gaze away.

Had he taken her words as a challenge to give up? It wasn’t how they were meant.

“Aye, I do,” he said softly, and then more lightly, “Don’t worry, I’ve had my share of needling; I can take it.”

“You? What do you have to be teased about? From where I sit, you’re infuriatingly perfect.”

A cocky grin spread across his face. “Do you think so? I wondered if you were ever going to notice.”

“Nauseatingly, I meant.” She tossed the pillow at him.

He laughed, catching it in the air and tossing it right back at her.

She rolled on her back, staring up at the ceiling as he finished getting ready. As they did every morning, she pretended not to watch him, and he pretended not to notice her doing so.

How long could this game go on? That was all it was, a game … wasn’t it? But it didn’t feel like a game; it felt real.

At night it was easy to pretend she was in control of her feelings. She could lose herself in passion, go to sleep, and not have to think about it—not have to face how every time he held her in his arms, every time he touched her with heartwrenching tenderness, every time he looked into her eyes as he entered her, it was getting harder and harder to tell herself it meant nothing.

She was running out of ways to fight back. She was a novice competing with a master in the art of passion. How many more ways could she find to distract him? To bring it back to lust?

In the daylight it was worse. In the daylight there was nowhere for those feelings to hide.

He rubbed his hand over his jaw, feeling for any places that he’d missed, and then wiped his face with a damp towel. When he was finished, he came to stand beside the bed, looking down at her. “Your water is getting cold.”

She shot him a glare. Though his expression was blank, she knew he was laughing at her. “I don’t mind. A cool bath can be … uh, invigorating, don’t you think?”

“I think I deserve to watch after arranging to have a bath brought up to you every morning without waking you.” He shook his head. “You sleep the sleep of the dead.”

She hadn’t until recently, but she decided not to mention that. “I’m shy, remember?”

But he knew what it was really about. She was embarrassed.

“I want to see you, Mary. All of you.”

She looked away. “There is much to see.”

He laughed, sat down on the edge of the bed, and tilted her chin to him. “You’re beautiful.”

“Men always say that when they want something.”

He chuckled. “Maybe you are right. Take your bath in privacy, then. For now. But you won’t hide from me forever. I will see you—soon.” He stood. “What are you doing later today?”

She sighed, anticipating the long hours until she saw—

She stopped. Sweet heaven, how had it happened so fast? Could she already be measuring the day by the hours until she saw him next?

Her chest squeezed. It was true. During the day he was busy with his duties. She would see him in the yard sometimes, when she was able to watch Davey, and at meals, of course, but it wasn’t until they were alone at night that he belonged to her.

Except that he didn’t belong to her. Eyes open.

“The usual,” she said. “Between prayers and meals, I will work on some embroidery with the other women and listen to the castle gossip, attend to some correspondence with the clerk, and if Davey isn’t away from the castle today, watch him practice in the yard.”

“Ah, that’s too bad. I was hoping you might have some time.”

She perked up, hoping she didn’t look as eager as she felt. “Time?”

“Aye, to go on a ride with me. I’m getting tired of looking at these same stone walls.”

“But can you?” She blushed. “I mean, have they granted you permission to leave the castle alone?”

His mouth curved. “Aye, I guess Percy has determined I’m not a threat.”

Mary scoffed. The man was nothing but a threat.

“What’s that?” His eyes glinted with amusement.

She scowled at him, realizing she must have spoken her thoughts aloud.

“But if you’re too busy—”

“I’m not,” she interrupted, far too quickly. But she couldn’t hide her excitement. She, too, was feeling cooped up. “I should love to go on a ride with you.” She frowned, her hands instinctively going to her stomach. “Though I’m not sure I should.”

He seemed to understand her fears. “Don’t worry. You’ll be perfectly safe. I won’t let anything happen to you.”

He said it with a look that made her wonder what he was up to. Knowing him, she suspected it was something calculated to wear her down. If she’d learned anything about her fiery husband, it was that he did not give up.

Kenneth was running out of ideas. Having never gone to this much trouble to win a woman’s heart before, he didn’t exactly have a repertoire of romantic gestures to work from. He’d operated on instinct (which sounded better than accident), which thus far seemed to be working well. She’d delighted over the bath—even if she wouldn’t delight him by using it in front of him—as well as the ribbon and the sugary buns.

But the woman was stubborn—and too damned suspicious of his motives. Which made her too damned smart.

This wasn’t turning out to be as easy as he’d expected.

Although he had to admit there was one place he wasn’t minding her challenges. He almost looked forward to finding out what she would do next to make his control slip at night.

But while she might win a few battles, he knew he would win the war. His lust wouldn’t be roused like this for long, and he would be back in control. Eventually, he knew the novelty would wear off and his interest would wane as it always had before.

He frowned. Wouldn’t it? It sure as hell hadn’t waned yet. He had an unsettling thought: what if it never did?

Of course it would. Just because Mary wasn’t like any woman he’d met before didn’t mean his life—his entire way of thinking—would change.

He liked variety. And simplicity, for that matter.

At least he used to. But sparring with his very unsimple and-not-so-eager-to-please wife was proving interesting.

He frowned, pushing the disturbing thought away as he opened the door.

He was glad to see her alone. Some of the ladies were less than subtle in their interest in him, which made him uncomfortable—and angry. They were her friends; they should try to act like it. Having learned of the pain of her first marriage, the last thing he wanted to do was remind her of Atholl.

He took in her hooded cloak, gloves, and sturdy boots. “Are you ready?” He grinned, suspecting she’d been ready for some time.

She nodded and he took her hand, leading her out of the chamber, down the stairs, and out into the yard.

She waited outside while he went to retrieve his destrier. He was only gone a few minutes, but it was long enough for Felton to find her.

Kenneth felt his temper prick hot. If he’d hoped the marriage would put an end to Felton’s interest in his wife, he was to be disappointed. The bastard was furious, but he hid it well, aiming his venom toward Kenneth. To Mary, he was the soul of English chivalry, as charming and solicitous as he could be.

Kenneth, on the other hand, was feeling every ounce of his barbarian blood. When he saw Felton’s hand on his wife’s arm, his first instinct was to reach for his axe. The surge of possessiveness that hit him was both primitive and undeniable.

He was jealous, he realized. Deeply and pathetically jealous, and he couldn’t do a damned thing about it.

If Felton had chosen that moment to press him, Kenneth didn’t think he would have been able to back down.

Mary must have sensed something and carefully extracted her arm. Only then did the red haze begin to recede.

“Where do you think you are going?” Felton demanded.

Obviously, anger was still clouding Kenneth’s judgment a bit, because he couldn’t resist snapping back sarcastically but all too truthfully, “To leave a message for Bruce with all the English secrets. Where the hell does it look like I’m going, on a ride with my wife.”

He knew he’d put too much emphasis on the last two words when Mary’s eyes widened.

Felton’s, however, narrowed. “You don’t have permission to leave—”

“I sure as hell do. Check with Percy. Not that it’s any of your damned business.” Only because he knew it would antagonize the bastard, he couldn’t resist pointing out, “You might be champion for now, but I don’t take orders from you.”

As the heir to the earldom, Kenneth outranked him.

Felton’s face turned florid. “For now? I thought you might have tired of losing—having done so many times at the point of my spurs, but when you are done hiding behind that injury, I’ll be happy to oblige you again. We’ll see if the barbarians have taught you anything.”

Kenneth lunged, ready to show him exactly how much the barbarians had taught him. He would have thrown his fist right through Felton’s sneering grin if he hadn’t felt the press of a hand on his arm.

His wife’s hand.

The idea that something so small could hold him back was patently absurd. Except that when he looked down and saw her tiny gloved hand on his arm, he knew it wasn’t so absurd at all.

How the hell had she done that? When he lost his temper, nothing penetrated. He didn’t think, didn’t hear reason, just reacted. That was what made it so difficult to control. But with one gentle press of her hand, she’d restrained him. He was so stunned he couldn’t speak.

“I’m sure my husband is looking forward to meeting you on the practice yard, Sir John. But surely it would be a Pyrrhic victory, at best, if he is not fully healed.”

Had she just used “Pyrrhic victory”? She had, he realized. His wife had also succeeded in shaming Sir John.

The knight stiffened. “Of course. I only meant—”

“I know what you meant,” she said sweetly. Felton held her gaze for moment, then gave her a curt nod and moved off as if he had a pike up his arse.

Kenneth’s blood was still pounding when she turned to him. “You shouldn’t antagonize him. Sir John is not a man you should wish for an enemy.”

He stiffened. “Felton doesn’t concern me.”

“He should. He is Percy’s best knight, reputed to be one of the best in England.”

He felt a stab of something like disappointment, except that it was harder and more acute. “You think he would best me?”

Her brow furrowed. Something in his voice must have alerted her. “I wasn’t thinking about it that way. Who wins is immaterial. I simply don’t think it’s wise to make an enemy of a powerful man. Nor would I wish to see you hurt.”

Her answer mollified him somewhat, but it still stung of a lack of faith. “Who wins always matters.”

She looked up at him, studying his face, perhaps seeing more than he wanted her to see. “So you’ve said. Shall we go?”

Kenneth motioned over the stable lad to bring the horse forward.

Mary looked around. “Where’s my mount?”

He smiled. “Right here.”

“You can’t expect me to ride that beast!”

He patted the big black destrier fondly on the rump.

“Oh, he’s as gentle as a lamb.”

She looked at him as if he were mad.

He laughed. “Besides, I’ll be riding with you.”

Immediately grasping his intent, she narrowed her gaze. “Perhaps it’s not the horse I should be worried about.”

As he’d said before, smart lass.

Alas, Kenneth’s plan to take advantage of having her in his arms while they rode was not to be. No sooner had he settled her before him and snuggled her up against his chest than she promptly fell asleep.

Instead of teasing her with the gentle motion of her bottom rocking against his cock, instead of “accidental” brushes of his hands over her breasts and thighs until they both were squirming with need, he had to make himself content with the warmth of her back against his chest and the soft floral scent of her silky hair under his nose.

Surprisingly, it wasn’t difficult. He was content—very content. In her sleep she forgot to be wary. There was something inherently trusting about her position curled up against him, her cheek nuzzled into the leather of his cotun like a child rather than a woman of six and twenty. She was so small, her pregnant stomach making her seem that much more vulnerable, that he felt a fierce wave of protectiveness swell inside him.

He would die a hundred times over before he let anything happen to her.

The intensity of his reaction took him aback. What was she doing to him?

They rode for about an hour, traveling southeast over the gently rolling hills of the Northumberland moorlands. The Cheviot Hills, the range that straddled the border, dominated the not-so-distant landscape. They passed a few villages, and a number of farms, but otherwise the road was blissfully peaceful. Though he would not have brought her had he not thought it safe, this close to the border it was always wise to take care, so he kept a cautious watch on their surroundings.

As they drew nearer their destination, the countryside became even more desolate. The English—like the Scots—were a superstitious lot. They kept a distance from the ancient stones that peppered the landscape, believing they held magic.

For Kenneth, the stones were a means of communication. He would leave a message here for the Guard. As the son of an earl, he’d had some formal education—at least enough for a rudimentary note about his wedding and his plan to bring Mary with him and the young earl. He’d also written the name of every lord and knight and the number of men-at-arms who’d gathered at the castle so far. It wasn’t much, but it was something.

The lack of additional supplies heading north still bothered him, as did Clifford’s continued comings and goings, but recalling MacKay’s warnings, he kept his thoughts to himself. He also didn’t mention volunteering to go with Clifford on a recent journey to Roxburgh. A mission that had turned up nothing.

Kenneth stopped when they reached the circle of five stones known locally as the Duddo Stones. He glanced down at the woman still sleeping in his arms and felt something inside his chest shift. Something that ached as he took in the fair hair glistening in the sun like gold; the soft, creamy skin; the tiny, pointed chin; the lush, pink mouth, and the long flutter of dark lashes against her rosy cheeks. Her features were delicate, just like her beauty. Classic and understated rather than bold and flashy. It was the type of beauty that would last for years, beyond the fresh dewiness of youth. She had a face that a man could be content to look at for the rest of his life.

God, he sounded like an idiot! This wooing and acting like a lovesick knight was turning him into one. He could almost hear MacKay laughing at him.

She opened her eyes. He watched her blink as she took a moment to realize where she was. He felt like a ray of sunlight hit him when she smiled and looked up at him. “We’re here?”

He smiled back at her. “Aye. I thought you might sleep the day away.”

Her cheeks flushed adorably. “I seem to be taking a lot of naps lately. I think it has something to do with the babe.”

Her hands covered her stomach, as he’d noticed her instinctively do many times before. She jumped a little and said, “Oh!”

“What is it?” he said, instantly concerned. “Is it the child?”

She nodded. “She’s kicking me.” At his obviously dumbfounded expression, she laughed and said, “Would you like to feel?”

He wasn’t sure, but he nodded.

She took his hand and placed it on her stomach, and a moment later he startled when something indeed kicked him.

She laughed at his horrified expression. “It’s all right. It’s perfectly normal. Although this baby seems to be much more active than David was. I think she’s anxious to get out.”

It stunned him how little he knew about any of this. “When will that be?”

“I should think around Ascension Day.”

Kenneth felt his breath relax. The end of May. He had time, then. He wanted to make sure she was safely away well before the child was born. His child. That wave of protectiveness grew even stronger.

“Where have you brought me?”

“See for yourself.”

He helped her down so that she could look around. She gasped when she saw the five ancient stones standing in a small circle on the flat top of a hill. “Druid stones? They’re magnificent.” But then she noticed the much larger range of hills in the distance. “Isn’t that the border?”

“Aye.”

She shivered. “Is it safe to be so close without a guard?”

“I won’t let anything happen to you, Mary. You have nothing to fear.”

She held his gaze. He could tell she didn’t believe him, and it struck something cold in his heart. A wry smile turned her mouth. “I’ve heard that promise before.”

His mouth hardened, and he tried not to feel the prick of jealousy. Atholl. “But not by me. I’m not your first husband, Mary.”

She looked up at him, blinking in the sunlight. “No, no you’re not.”

“What did he do to make you so cynical?”

“Cynical?” she repeated, as if she’d never made the connection. “I suppose you are right. Atholl swore to protect us, but he gave no thought to what would happen to us when he rebelled. He cared more about glory and being a hero than he did about a wife and son. Aye, he protected us as long as it didn’t interfere with what he wanted to do. I asked him to take us with him, but he refused. He said we would be safe. That he would come back for us if something went wrong. I trusted him. But of course, he never did. He abandoned us to Edward’s mercy, and I was left to pick up the pieces of his decisions. Decisions that took everything from me—my son, my home, my family—but which I never had a say in.”

Kenneth felt a prickle—nay, a stab—of unease. “That’s why you wanted me to give you that promise?”

She gazed up at him. “Aye. I swore I’d never let a man put me in that kind of position again.”

Ah hell. It wasn’t the same, he told himself. He would protect her. He didn’t just care about the glory. That wasn’t why he was so intent on joining the Highland Guard. At least not all of it. He wasn’t making choices for her. She would want to go when the time came.

But all the rationalizing in the world couldn’t erase the flicker of unease that had crept over the day like a dark shadow. “Come,” he said, taking a bag from the horse. “I’ve a surprise for you.”

The wariness was back. “I don’t need any more surprises.”

“Perhaps not, but you’ll like it all the same.”

He was right. A few minutes later, after he’d led her over to the circle of stones, spread out a plaid for her to sit on, and handed her the bundle, she moaned with delight at the scent of cinnamon and caramel that wafted from beneath the piece of linen. “More sugar buns? I’m going to be as fat as that old cat that hangs around the barn, if you keep having the cook bake these for me.”

“I like you curvy.”

She didn’t respond; she was too busy biting into the crusty sugarcoated round of bread. The sounds she made went right to his cock—as did the look of rapture on her face.

Jesus. He adjusted his breeches. A woman shouldn’t look like that unless she was naked and under him.

She finished chewing and looked up at him, realizing he was watching her. “Don’t you want any?”

He shook his head. “I’d rather watch you.” He reached over, running the pad of his finger over her upper lip.

She sucked in her breath, wide-eyed.

He lowered his mouth to hers. “You have a little bit of sugar right here.”

He wanted to lick it off, but instead he swiped it with his finger and brought it to his mouth. “Hmmm. Very sweet.”

Mary pulled back. “Why are you doing this? Why are you going to all this effort? What do you want from me?”

It almost sounded like fear in her voice. “I want you.” He was surprised to realize it was the truth. It wasn’t just about stung pride and proving she wasn’t immune; it wasn’t just about winning her heart for his mission. He wanted her for himself.

“We’re already married. You have me.”

“Do I?” He smiled. “I very much doubt that.” He leaned back, eyeing her speculatively. “What is it exactly that you object to?”

She rolled her eyes. “You’ll not hear a recitation of your finer points from me, my lord. I’m sure you’ve heard them well enough from others.”

Perhaps she was right, but he was surprised how much he wanted to hear it from her. Not her admiration but her respect. The thought made him frown. “I’ve never met a woman like you.”

“One who doesn’t fall at your feet?”

She was teasing him, he realized. He shook his head. “You sound like my sister.”

“The one who was married at Dunstaffnage?”

“Aye, I only have one sister. Her name is Helen.”

A frown gathered between her brows. “I wish I’d had a chance to meet her. Whom did she marry?”

“The son of the MacKay chief.”

Her eyes widened. Obviously she knew something of the feuding history between the MacKays and the Sutherlands. “I remember meeting him. That must have been an interesting wedding feast.”

He laughed. “It was. You should have seen Will trying to keep the peace. You’d have to know my brother, but he’s one of the fiercest warriors I know and always ready to fight. He’s not a peacemaker. I think he spent the better part of three days trying to prevent fights by threatening to beat the men senseless if they did.”

“That sounds familiar,” she said with a smile. “I’m sure there must have been a lot of fights between you when you were young.”

“Drubbings, you mean. One-sided, for the most part.”

“It’s hard to think of you being on the losing end.”

He shrugged as if it meant nothing to him. “It made me work harder. My brother made me the warrior I am today.”

“You are close?”

Suddenly, he realized his mistake. Damn it. He’d been jabbering on as if he hadn’t just broken from his family.

“Were close,” he corrected.

But from the way she was looking at him, he feared she’d picked up on the mistake as well. “Why did you change your allegiance?”

Damn. “It’s complicated,” he hedged, and then turned the question back to her. “Did you ever consider returning to Scotland?”

A sharp look of pain crossed her face. She nodded.

“Aye. Once.”

“What happened?”

For a moment, he didn’t think she was going to answer. She reached over and picked a piece of grass, making tiny knots over and over. “I lost my sister.”

She gave a brief rendition of what had happened. How her sister had appeared one night at Ponteland to bring her home after Atholl’s arrest, how Sir Adam had arrived ahead of the king’s men, how they’d raced across the countryside only to be caught in the middle of the battle. “I’ll never forget that moment. One minute I was looking at her and the next, the bridge exploded into flames. It must have been lightning, though I didn’t recall hearing any before. There was a loud boom—the strangest thunder I’ve ever heard—and then everything went black. I woke up, and my sister was gone.”

Something about the story niggled at his consciousness. “Sir Adam was there?”

She nodded. “I heard his voice right before I fell. He was a godsend. Were it not for him, I’m sure David and I would have been imprisoned. He had his men look for Janet for hours, but it was as if she’d vanished.”

All his instincts were hammering now. Could it be possible? God, if it were true, it could be just what he needed.

“Do you remember anything about the smell?”

She gave him a puzzled look. “How strange that you should ask. I remember it smelled like rotting eggs.”

Damn. It was true. Sir Adam Gordon shared the same knowledge his nephew had. He knew how to make black powder.

Mary knew she had said too much. She was supposed to be guarding her heart, and here she was spilling all her secrets to him. But for such an outwardly hard and imposing man, he was surprisingly easy to talk to. He listened, and actually seemed interested in what she had to say, which was a novelty among men of his station. At least it was in her experience. But she was beginning to realize that her experience wasn’t the only experience. Kenneth was right; he wasn’t Atholl.

But eventually his interest in her—in this game—would wane, and when it did, she wasn’t going to let him break her heart.

She was going to have to be careful, very careful. She could see how easy it would be to slip and let herself believe in faerie tales and happy endings.

He had married her, given their child a name, and promised not to do anything reckless that would put them in danger without telling her. It was enough. She would be content with what she had.

And the passion. Aye, he’d given her that. She was going to savor every minute of it, knowing that it wouldn’t last.

He was strangely contemplative after she’d told him about her sister. She finished eating the bun, forcing herself not to eat the second, and accepted the wine he offered her from a leather pouch to wash it down.

When she was finished, she handed the pouch back to him and reclined against one of the large stones where he’d set the plaid.

It was still warm, and the sun felt so good on her face, she felt her eyes fluttering.

“You aren’t going to fall asleep again, are you?”

She blinked. How had he moved so close without her realizing it? “Are you ready to leave?” Her heart was fluttering so fast, her words came out high-pitched and nervous.

One corner of his mouth curved in a very wicked smile. “Not quite yet.”

She thought about scooting away but knew it would be useless. He’d only catch her. And kiss her. And make her dissolve into a mindless bundle of sensation.

She tried to sound unaffected. “What else did you have planned?”

He leaned closer, his mouth achingly close. She could smell the wine on his breath and it was intoxicating. He was intoxicating. “Oh, I’m sure we can think of something.”

His mouth fell on hers with a groan that tore through her heart. It was only for a moment, but long enough to make her breathless and hungry for more. His mouth slid over her jaw, down her throat, to the bodice of her dress. He started to tug at it, when she stopped him. “We can’t. Not here.”

“Why not?”

Wasn’t it obvious? “It’s the middle of the day. Anyone could see.”

He grinned. “There isn’t anyone around. I won’t undress you.”

She eyed him skeptically, not trusting him. “I thought you offered to take me on a ride, not seduce me.”

A wicked glint appeared in his eye. He lifted her as if she weighed nothing and put her on his lap so that she was facing and straddling him. She gasped, feeling the hard swell of his erection against the intimate juncture between her thighs. “You’ll have your ride, Mary.”

He lifted her over him and showed her exactly what he meant. She muttered a protest, but only halfheartedly. She was hot and achy, her body already melting for him.

With a quick fumble of his breeches, he released himself, and then a frantic heartbeat later he surged inside her, impaling her on the long sword full hilt.

She cried out in pleasure. Wave after wave of delicious pleasure, as he showed her how to ride him. How to find the perfect rhythm. How to take him in deep circular strokes. How to take her pleasure.

In the warm afternoon sun, she took her pleasure over and over. She just had to remember that was all she should take.