Checking the clock, I knew didn’t have much time before Kevin came home. There was a smile on my face as I checked my work. I’d just finished making dinner and a beautiful pineapple upside down cake.
First, I inspected the dessert. It was his favorite. The cake was a perfect golden brown, and the pineapple looked delicious. The cherries added a beautiful contrast, but I wasn’t a very big fan of them. They were more for him than anything else.
Once I was satisfied with the dessert, I moved on to the steak. The sirloin was perfectly seared on the outside and pink in the middle. Again, just as he liked it. I made garlic mashed potatoes and steamed broccoli for the sides. He would be home soon, and I wanted everything to be perfect.
Kevin, my boyfriend of three years, had been on edge. Work had been very difficult for him the past few weeks, so I wanted to take a night to spoil him. Unfortunately, I was unable to stay the entire night with him because I was on call at the hospital and had to go in at midnight.
It was a constant struggle, balancing home and work, but I did my best. Most of the time it seemed that Kevin didn’t care much either way, but sometimes I thought he was just very good at hiding his irritation.
Once I’d finished plating, I went to the bedroom to quickly change out of the clothes that I’d been cooking in. I was covered in all kinds of things, flour and sugar mostly, and smelled like a cook. I heard a car door shut, and my excitement grew as a smile spread across my face. I strode into the kitchen in time for Kevin to walk through the door. When I saw his face, my heart fell, and I immediately felt terrible for him. His expression was exactly what I’d expected: stressed.
“Hi, baby!” I exclaimed as he walked through the door. I pushed away all negativity.
He shut the door and gave me a confused look. “Why do you seem so excited?”
“Come with me,” I said. “I have something to show you.”
Without another word, I grabbed his hand and escorted him into the dining room. The entire area smelled of steak and garlic. My stomach growled as I approached the table. It looked very good. I loved to cook, but even I had to admit that it looked better than usual. The table was set with a deep red tablecloth and black cloth napkins. The plates were white and square with a thin red design moving throughout the edge.
Steam still rolled off the plates as I sat him down on his side of the table. I poured a glass of wine for him before placing it back in the bucket of ice. I wanted a glass but had ice water instead. I sat down and looked over to judge his expression.
“I wanted to do something special for you. I know that you’ve had such a hard time at work lately. You’ve had to work late. You’ve been called in. You’ve just had a lot to deal with. I’m sorry that I’ve been gone so much. I know it’s only for a few weeks until the other nurse gets hired on, but it’s been weighing on you. I can tell,” I said as I reached out for his hand.
Kevin pulled away from me. It wasn’t a harsh movement, but it was enough to sting my feelings. He stared at me, unblinking. He looked down at the setup before him and leaned over a bit, inhaling deeply as he did so.
“It smells amazing,” he said. “Thank you.”
I smiled, the earlier uneasiness fading from me. Happiness then beaming from me. “You’re welcome!”
“Do you have to work tonight?” he asked.
I sighed, hating the fact that I had to leave him. “I do. I’m so sorry. I have to go in at midnight, so we still have some time to spend together! I thought maybe we could watch a movie.”
“Maybe,” he said before taking a bite of his steak.
He no longer seemed occupied with me as he dug into the food. Part of me was ecstatic that he enjoyed it so much, but part of me hoped for something more than just sitting in silence. Every night, without fail, I cooked for him. Every night, after doing so, I was met with silence. That night I wanted a little more. I’d hoped that if I put in a bit more effort than usual that he would be a little more talkative. It wasn’t a total waste, I suppose. He did enjoy it at least.
“That steak was amazing,” he said just after finishing. “I don’t know what you did to it, but it was cooked perfectly.”
I smiled. “Thank you! I’m so glad you enjoyed it!”
I stood, taking the plates to the kitchen and rinsing them off. Once I’d finished with that, I came back to the dining room and stood behind Kevin before wrapping my arms around his shoulders.
“Would you like to shower with me?” I asked.
It had been a long time since we’d touched one another, and I’d been dying to. I hated going so long without being intimate. It seemed that the wedge between us deepened when it had been that long.
Kevin paused as he gently rubbed my arm. “Sure. That sounds nice.”
Another smile spread across my face as he stood and turned toward me. He kissed me then, immediately setting my body in motion. I wanted him. I wanted him more than he could imagine. It always seemed that he was exhausted and never wanted to. Though I understood, it still hurt me to not feel that closeness. Sometimes I felt that was all we had.
Kevin and I made our way to the shower. The water came out hot, a bit too hot, but I didn’t mind. My thoughts were elsewhere as my hands wandered along his chest and shoulders. My dark eyes moved along the contours of his body. Tracing the subtle lines along his stomach. Kevin wasn’t overly muscular, but he worked out often. I loved him exactly the way he was. Every slight curvature of his body made my heart rate rise.
“I love you,” I said.
He didn’t respond as he backed me against the wall of the shower and kissed me. I moaned against him as I ran my fingers through his hair, moving my lips against his.
“No sex,” he said. “I just want us to relax and enjoy one another.”
I smiled as he kissed me again. While I wanted the sex, the intimacy of touching and kissing was exactly what I needed. Kevin was true to his word and never pursued anything further than light teasing. He nibbled at my neck as he ran his fingertips down my sides. We took turns washing one another and he massaged my scalp as he worked the shampoo through my hair. Once the water began to get cold, we got out and took turns drying one another off.
“What time did you say that you have to be in?” he asked.
“Midnight,” I said, doing my best to hide my disappointment.
“What time will you be home?” he asked.
“I have no idea. It sounded like I might be there twelve hours. That’s the usual.”
“I see,” he said. “Text me when you get off.”
“Okay?” I said. It was both a question and statement. He’d never bothered asking me to text or call him after work. “Do you have a surprise for me? Do you want to get lunch or something?”
“Huh?” he asked as he finished pulling on some shorts.
“Lunch or a surprise,” I replied with a seductive tone. “Preferably a surprise. One that might be fun for both of us?”
His eyes met mine for a moment before his expression reflected clarity.
“Oh,” he replied. “I don’t know about that. I was just curious.”
“Hmm. Okay. I guess that I can do that,” I said.
That was disappointing. I was hoping for a fun or sexy surprise. Without saying anything else, I got ready for work. I combed out my wet hair and finished in the bathroom by brushing my teeth before putting on my scrubs. I heard a ringtone from the bedroom and searched for my phone.
“Babe,” I said, walking into the living room. “Have you seen my phone? Oh, sorry.”
Kevin held up his hand as he listened to someone talking to him. It had been his that rang and not mine.
“Oh, yeah,” he said with a smile. “That sounds perfect… I have to go… Oh, really?”
“I have to go,” I said. I felt awkward suddenly. I still had an hour before I had to go, but I wanted to see if he’d respond negatively. I wanted to know if he cared at all that I was leaving. “Wanna give me a kiss bye?”
He shook his head and waved me off as he continued his conversation. My brows furrowed, annoyed that he would so easily go back to ignoring me after such a perfect night together. I’d hoped that he would have waited a little while before returning back to normal.
Giving in, I turned and found my phone on the kitchen counter. I put it in my pocket before walking out. Tears welled in my eyes. Every time I attempted to connect with him, it ended in heartbreak.
I had no idea why I even tried anymore, except that I loved him. More than anything, I loved him. I wanted him happy, and I wanted to be the one that could do that. It sometimes seemed like nothing could make him happy, though.
My night started off rough with having little sleep. I’d spent so much time preparing for the evening with Kevin that I didn’t get much rest. Tying that in with the terrible result of my well-planned evening, the slow night at work that caused me to have to float from floor to floor, and the terrible families yelling at me for what another nurse had or hadn’t done was what had made the night so rotten.
Still, I loved my job and all its challenges. I just didn’t appreciate being called in when there were so few patients between the three floors.
Around six that morning, I told one of the other nurses that I was heading home. The three floors had all been caught up on paperwork and med passes. I’d checked up on all the families, assuring them that I would tell the other nurses to be quicker with answering calls.
On a normal night, there were too many patients to keep up with, and it was hard to answer lights right away, especially when understaffed. That night, however, I was more annoyed with the nurses than the anxious family members.
I stopped on my way home to get gas. There was a cooler close to the register, and the Mountain Dew looked particularly good. I grabbed one for myself and another for Kevin, knowing he would probably want one as well. I tried to push the events from the earlier busted dinner out of my mind, hoping to relax a bit.
“I’m overreacting,” I thought to myself. “I’m just being overly sensitive.”
Slowly, I began getting back into the swing of things. There was no longer so much pressure weighing on my chest, and my mood began to elevate.
“I’m going to talk to him,” I thought, hope filling my chest. “Maybe there’s been some miscommunication somewhere.”
As I drove home, I felt much better, but that was short lived. As I pulled into the drive, I saw a silver car sitting there. One I’d never seen before. My heart and stomach felt as though they were attempting to switch places. Pain filled my chest as anxiety made me want to throw up. Everything began hitting me at once.
How he’d asked me so thoroughly about the time I was getting off, when he never seemed to care any other time.
How he asked me to text him when I got off work but didn’t seem to have a reason for it.
How he was on the phone and smiling before I left and had completely changed his demeanor towards me. He didn’t even care that I had to go early!
The sickness inside of me grew, but I tried to force it down, once again assuring myself of the possibility that I may be overreacting. After getting out of my car, I walked across the yard and up the steps of the deck. Subtlety was not one of my strong suits, but I made an honest attempt at it anyway. I snuck inside and moved quietly across the house. I didn’t hear anything, but I wasn’t sure if that was a good sign or a bad one.
Taking a deep breath, I placed my hand on our bedroom door knob and twisted it open. The door didn’t make a sound as it swung open. I could see nothing because of the blacked-out windows, so I decided to just flip on the switch. I was immediately met with regret.
My mouth fell open as not one, but two people in my bed reacted violently to the harsh light filling the room.
“Sorry,” I said, leaning against the frame. With the flood of emotions flowing through me at that moment, I immediately developed a stony persona. “I kinda forgot to text you. I’m home by the way.”
Kevin stared at me, his lids squinted as his eyes fought the light. The woman next to him had completely covered herself.
“Honey,” I started. “You’re not hiding from anyone. I hope you both enjoyed yourselves. How could you do this?”
“Can we do this later?” he asked, his voice graveled and his left hand above his eyes to shade them more.
I smiled. “Later? That’s cute. You have another woman in our bed, and you want me to accommodate you? I guess now I know why we haven’t been having sex. Especially earlier in the shower together.”
“You took a shower with that slut?” the blonde next to him asked as she whipped back the blanket.
I laughed then. “Slut? Oh, my. Sweetpea, I think you might want to look around. There’s only one girl in bed with someone else’s boyfriend. Coincidentally, it’s not me. Nice nip ring, though.”
The blonde gasped as she snatched the blanket up again.
“Well, the lease is in my name,” I said. “I expect your things to be out of here by the time I get home. It seems you have some help, so that’s pretty awesome for you, right?”
I turned to walk out, but turned back, placing both of my hands on either side of the frame, smiling.
“Oh, and sugartits, you might want to get an antibiotic. That’s infected. I’m assuming you got that pierced in someone’s kitchen with faulty equipment that more than likely hadn’t been properly sterilized.”
“It wasn’t faulty equipment,” the blonde responded, completely disregarding everything else that I’d said.
“Classy,” I said. “Well, that probably means that the king of hearts over here should probably get tested for every STD under the sun. Have fun with that. They ram a Q-tip the length of your forearm down your urethra. I guess karma really is a bitch. Oh, and if you don’t know what that is, the urethra or the karma, feel free to look it up online. I’m betting the look on your face when you figure it out would be priceless. Both of you have a wonderful day.”
I turned and stormed out with tears beginning to fill my eyes. I was happy that they held off until I retreated. Honestly, I have zero idea how I managed that. Every step toward the door filled me with more and more rage until it was about to explode out of me.